I decided to keep the original name thanks people.
Ranma 1/2: Reality Bites, Hard.
Part 2 (Alpha version)
By Bruce R. Brunk
brbrunk@agora.rdrop.com
This is the first version of the third chapter, an interweaving mess
of 14 vinettes in two threads. I'm always looking for any comments
your willing to make (this means you.) Different from part one, as it
is so modular I've added section headers/tails for the early drafts
with comments and questions divided up by section. They take the form
of "----R3." (Five minuses followed by a letter or letters and a
number. The example would signify the third Ryoga section. A3 and R3
(-----A3 and -----R3) are where I could use the most advice. So be
forewarned, there's a whole lot of spam at the end of this (I hope you
won't, but) feel free to skip it. Thank you for your responces. As
you have allready heard this speel before I'll snip the rest, for now.
[* Insert standard "This is my first fanfic attempt don't flame" whine. *]
Hate this, don't flame me, I'll ignore it. If you would
like me to just go back to lurker mode, too late.
[* Insert standard legal jargon. *]
IE none of the characters are mine, they ultimately belong to Rumiko
Takahashi. She can sue me for everything I'm worth and come out with
less money than she started with. So on with the show.
Chapter 3
-----R1
Nabiki lay on her stomach reading a magazine ("Women's Business Weekly")
and munching on some chips. A knock on the door out to the pond caused her
to put down her magazine and open the door.
"Oh, it's you. Hi, Ryoga."
"Hi, Nabiki. Is Akane around by any chance?" Ryoga, sounding hopeful.
"Sorry she's not. I could tell you where she is, though."
"Could you, please."
"2000 yen, please." imitating Ryoga's plea.
"What!"
"Come on, I don't have all day. Akane probability won't be back until
sometime late tomorrow at the earliest. So pay up or try and find you
way back here when she does get back."
"Is Ranma with her?"
"He didn't go with her, but they'll end up at the same place."
"Oh, all right." He digs around in his pocket. "Here you are, now
Where is she."
"Ranma got hurt and is in the hospital." Nabiki points in the
general direction of the hospital, "Akane, Kasumi, Father, and Mr.
Saotome went to see him, they took stuff to stay the night."
"Ranma's hurt, hmm. Thanks, Nabiki." Ryoga turns and heads off in
almost the same direction Nabiki had pointed.
Nabiki shuts the door, shaking her head and goes back to reading her
magazine.
**Where was I? Here we are. 'Men of the Nikkei Exchange: Mr.
March.' Lets see height, weight, hobbies, ah! here we go, portfolio.
Ten thousand shares Mitsumi...**
-----R1
-----A1
Akane couldn't see much, just her father and Mr. Saotome's backs.
There group was alone in the elevator. Dr. Tofu in the front of the
car. Mr. Saotome was behind him and to his left. Father was on Mr.
Saotome's right.
From her position,behind and between the two men, she could see
Father glance over at Mr. Saotome, fairly regularly now. This simple
recognition made her feel somewhat better. Maybe her mind was
clearing. Maybe she could deal with some of these feeling that she
had been awash in. Maybe she would be able to face Ranma.
She felt Kasumi nudge her again, the first time was to get on the
elevator, now it was to get off. She looked to her right, at Kasumi
and smiled a weak smile. Trying to say "I'm Ok." with out the words.
As Kasumi smiles back, she is reminded of all the other times in her
life when Kasumi had to act the mothers' role. Again Akane is
thankful that she is not the oldest of the three sisters.
As the two girls trailed the men down the hall, Akane feels
comforted by the presence of an older, and in many ways wiser, female
presence. So much of her early life had been with Father. Even before
Mother had died, Father had started her training heavily. He had
seemed so happy with her abilities. She enjoyed making Father happy
so she spent all her spare time practicing and "sparing" with him.
When Mother had died it seemed as though she got over her death
quicker than the others. For those first few years, the only time she
had seen Father smile was at a successful new move or newly learned
kata. To see Father smile she had worked that much harder.
Now, more and more, she felt the need to be with a mother, her
mother. Her memories of her mother are made more bittersweet by
their lack. Kasumi tried, how she tried, but she just didn't have
enough experience to help her. The appearance of Mrs. Saotome had been
a help, but so many of her questions were about her and Ranma and
therefore out of bounds. No way could she ever ask Mrs. Saotome,
"Mrs. Saotome, I've been engaged to this guy, and well, he keeps
turning in to a girl, and could you please give any advice as to the
way I feel about him?"
No, not even Ranma deserved that.
Akane notices that Dr. Tofu has stopped and turned. He gestures for
them to sit down, telling them that he will go and talk to the head
surgain and get an update on Ranma's condition.
-----A1
-----K1
Nabiki, thirsty from munching on too many chips, gets up and walks
to the kitchen. After grabbing a drink from the fridge, she starts to
walk back to where she had been reading. she is startled to see a
figure standing in the room.
"Hello, Kodachi."
Kodachi stands in front of Nabiki, in a regal pose. Wearing her full
length, black cape. Nabiki can see nothing of her except for her head
and cape.
Nabiki neither looks or sounds pleased. One could almost hear the
sound of the adding machine in the back of he mind.
'click-thud-thug'
"Hello, sister to that home-wrecker, Akane Tendo."
'click-thud-thug'
"Tell me, where is my darling Ranma."
"I'd be happy to, for 8000 yen."
"What! How dare you charge me, the beautiful 'Black Rose' for such
information!" Kodachi looked angry, her cape billowed every-time she
accentuated a word with her arm gestures.
"Hey, what can I say, it looks like it could be a busy night. I'm
probably going to have to raise my rates before long. So either pay
up now, or go look for him on your own. If you come back here, it
will cost you more."
"Oh, all right."
Kodachi's cape billows open, revealing that she is in her leotard.
She hands Nabiki the money.
"Thank you. Ranma got hurt, he's at the hospital right now."
"Never forget, Insolent one, I shall remember this treatment, but now
my place is at my beloved's side."
Kodachi backs out of the pond door and shuts it after her.
Nabiki listens to the thud of Kodachi landing on the roof, the
patter of her running across the roof, and the thump as the gymnast
leaps elsewhere. Returning to her magazine, Nabiki reads,
**..5000 shares, prefered: Hitachi..**
-----K1
-----A2
Akane sat in the waiting room, she fidgeted around every now and
then. She was beginning to take in some of her surroundings now.
Father, sitting next to Mr. Saotome. Mr. Saotome, still didn't look
very well. He was being very formal, not like him at all.
Dr Tofu had come back with the head surgain whom said Ranma was
still not conscious yet, and while the head surgain thought it would
be 4-6 more hours until he regained consciousness, Dr Tofu later said
that he felt 3-4 would be more accurate given Ranma's proven
recuperative abilities.
Akane thought maybe she had been overeacting to her conversation
with Dr Tofu. Maybe she should just relax, Ranma had been in the
hospital before.
**Maybe not** she thought glumly, Father never had brought her along
on a first trip, he himself usually waited for a day or two before he
made a visit.
"Akane?" Kasumi asked her little sister, concern showing in her
eyes.
"Yes, Kasumi?"
"Your worried about Ranma aren't you?"
"A little, I guess. I mean I was the one who did this to him and
all. I didn't really mean to hurt him. He's just so insensitive some
times. He's always picking on my cooking, my cleaning, anything I
try and do, he just, picks on me."
"Akane, Akane, Akane," Kasumi said disappointedly, "if you want to
calm Ranma down, just feed him something, he usually settles down
after eating. I don't know, maybe some candy or chips or something
like that."
Akane thought about it, a present for Ranma, something to say she
didn't meant too hurt him, and maybe then he wouldn't hate her.
"Kasumi, I think I'll do that. If dad asks, I'll be at the gift
shop."
-----A2
-----R2
Again, the front door knocks. Upon opening the door Nabiki is
somewhat surprised to see the figure standing in front of her, but not
too surprised.
"Hello, sorry to bother you, but could you tell me the way...
Nabiki, what are you doing here?"
"I live here Ryoga. The way to the hospital, sure thing, 2000 yen."
"What! I already paid 2000 yen for directions from you."
"Hmm.. Ok, you may have a point there, 1500 yen."
Ryoga wilts, knowing the futility of arguing, he pulls out the money
and hands it to Nabiki.
"Ok, it's that way." again pointing in the direction of the
hospital. As he leaves she shuts the door and returns to her
magazine.
"What, 7500 shares of _Ford_? What a loser. He'll get killed by
the exchange rate if nothing else. Next! 'Mr May...'"
-----R2
-----A3
Akane had decided to take the stairs down to the main floor. She
was recovered enough to do that now, it was only one story down after
all. As she walked out of the stairwell she looked around. Finding a
guide map she studied it, and headed for the gift shop.
She searches through the candy section, finding nothing that seems
appropriate she turns around and immediately wishes she hadn't.
Right in front of her is a picture frame. The picture frame. The
one Ranma had given her for Christmas. Her mind blots out the
the generic picture in the frame, replacing it with the one Ranma had
used.
Her eyes started to water. Ranma could be so sweet at times, and
this was how he usually got repaid for it.
"Dearie, are you alright?"
Thinking, from the voice, that it was Cologne, She whips around,
prepared for whatever. It wasn't, just another old woman looking
concerned.
"Sorry to startle you."
"No, that's Ok." Akane sniffles and tries to dry her eyes with the
back of her hand. "It's just that you sound just like someone I know,
thats all."
"Here visiting someone I take it?"
"Yes"
"Who is it? If you don't mind a prying old woman's curiosity."
"He's sort of my fiancee." Akane looks sort of sheepish.
"Sort of fiancee?" asked the woman. "Never heard of that before."
"Ok, he's my fiancee. It wasn't my idea." Akane's old habits kick
in, she gets mad. "Our parents decided the whole thing!"
The old woman smiled. "And you can't stand him, yet here you are
standing in a hospital gift-shop looking like a mess."
"It's not that I hate him, really," getting angrier, "it's he's just
such a, a.."
"Stupid, insensitive, jerk."
"Yeah." Akane looks and sounds surprised.
"He's a man, they are all like that at times. It's been like that
with both my husbands."
"It's not my place to decided if you love him or not, but if you do,
always remember: 'This is life, not a shojo manga.' If you want the
relationship to work, then that is what you must do, work. The guy
who's always hanging around giving your family little cakes and
telling you how much love he has to give will usually end up being an
emotional void trapping you inside."
Akane stared at the old woman, digesting what she had just said.
"Enough of an old woman's pratlings. You were looking for a gift,
perhaps?"
"Hai."
"Food is usually a good idea, but hospitals frown on "Feeding the
Animals." Flowers might work though. There are some lovely little
vases over here." the woman turns and walks over to the display, turns
back to Akane, with a serious expression on her face. "You will
_subtlety_ point out to him that when he gets out he can put other
things in it, besides flowers. If you don't he'll probably just throw
it away. Men can be kind of dumb about stuff like that."
"Yeah." For the first time in hours Akane laughs a little laugh.
The old woman smiles. "That's better. Now tell me which one do you
like?"
One caught her eye, black lacquer, with a scene of two cranes
walking side-by-side in the shallows of a pond. She looked at the
price on the underside of the vase, too much. Slowly, with a regretful
look on her face, she put the vase down.
"You liked that one didn't you?"
"Yeah, but.."
"Ok, then."
The old woman picked up the vase and walked towards the counter,
saying, "We'll get the flowers from a place I know down the street.
The flowers here aren't all that spectacular."
"Huh. Hey!" Akane tries to catch up and cut the woman off. "I
don't have enough money with me to pay for that."
"Don't worry, my undutiful son-in-law will pay for it." The woman
hands a credit card to the clerk.
"What?" Akane looks around, confused.
"My son-in-law does some sort of computer work in America. He gave
me this card in case of 'emergencies' and I certainly conceder a
fiancee in the hospital an emergency." She winked. "I wish he'd
return home so I could see my middle grand-daughter again."
"But why are you doing all this?"
"I could say that you remind me of my grand-daughter, the one in
America, but really, once, long ago, someone I didn't know did a favor
for me asking only that do the same for someone else in the future,
and that is my request to you."
The woman hands the now wrapped vase to Akane. "Now let's go see
about those flowers."
-----A3
-----SH1
Wondering whom it would be this time Nabiki responds to the front
door, and opens it.
"Hello..."
"Where is Ranma? Shampoo bring ramen for Ranma."
"Shampoo." Nabiki pauses, "Ranma 'went' away, he probably won't be
back for several days, weeks maybe."
A worried look crosses the amazon's face.
"Nabiki tell Shampoo where Ranma go?"
"Sure, 3000 yen."
Shampoo now looks puzzled. "Where is '3000 yen.'"
A pained expression crosses Nabiki's face. A large sweat drop forms
on her right temple.
"Your great-grandmother must be one heck of a business woman, to
stay afloat with you as her principle assistant."
Shampoo now looks impatient. "Yes, great-grandma very good, now
where is '3000 yen.'"
"Let's put it this way: Your bill this evening comes to 3000 yen."
"Oh, Shampoo see now, you charge Shampoo for information. You
sneaky girl."
Shampoo pulls out the yen and hands it to Nabiki.
"That's what people say. Ranma broke his shoulder, he's at the
hospital now and it doesn't look like he'll be home anytime soon."
Concern clouds Shampoo's face.
"Don't worry Ranma, Shampoo come visit you!"
Shampoo turns her bike around and peddles off towards the hospital.
Remembering that she was out of chips, Nabiki shuts the door and
walks to the kitchen.
-----SH1
-----SO1
Soun was troubled, his future son-in-law, a person living under his
roof, was in the hospital and he felt like he couldn't get a straight
answer. Tofu, a man whom Soun thought had an interest in his eldest, a
relationship he approved of, he just wanted Ranma and Akane together
first so he could retire and move in with Kasumi (for obvious
gastronomical reasons) had told him only that Ranma had been hurt very
seriously. What he had understood from his friend beside him, Saotome
had painted a totally different picture.
When the surgain had stopped by he had really said nothing about
Ranma's condition, just that he was hopeful for a full recovery and
that he expected Ranma to regain consciousness sometime that
night/evening.
Soun hadn't wanted to disturb Saotome with his questions, so he had
kept his peace. He hadn't seen either of the two doctors since then
and the one time had pulled aside a nurse she had claimed not to know
anything.
Curiosity finally got the better of him, telling Saotome that he
had to "find a tree" he got up and started searching the halls for
either of the two doctors.
After a couple of tours around the floor Soun saw the surgain
talking to a couple of medical looking people. He waited until their
conversation had broken up before talking to the doctor.
"Excuse my interruption sensei, but you are the surgain whom worked
on Ranma Saotome, are you not?"
"Yes, I am, and you are?"
"Soun Tendo, sensei, Ranma is staying with us. He is also engaged
to my daughter."
"Tendo, Tendo, didn't I hear Tofu-sensei blathering on about a Tendo
somebody?"
"Different daughter, sensei." Soun was disturbed by the doctors
comments, but he kept them his feelings out of his voice. "I have
been having some trouble sorting out what you and Tofu-sensei have
told me and what Ranma's father has told me. I didn't want to bring
it up in front of Saotome."
The doctor looked both curious and disturbed.
"Just what did Saotome tell you?"
"Well, he talked about Ranma dying and being brain damaged and/or
paralyzed."
With that the doctor no longer looked curious. Still disturbed, but
also uncomfortable with what he was going to say next.
"Well, hmm, I can see where that would trouble you, but don't worry
I expect to see Ranma up and walking before too long. Now if you'll
excuse me, I have a.. consultation on the third floor and I need to
go."
Soun stood their scowling. Thinking, **That made no sense. "..up
and walking.." I thought the problem was Ranma's shoulder, not his
legs. This is not good.**
Soun turned and walked back to see how his friend was doing.
-----SO1
-----M1
Nabiki, hearing the door knock yet again, walks over and upon
opening it she is grabbed in a suffocating bear hug.
"Shampoo, I've found you!"
Whopping the side of Mousse's head precisely so that A) his glasses
would fall on to his eyes and B) he'd just let go so she could
breath again.
"I am not Shampoo, Mousse!"
Mousse looks up and sees that he holding Nabiki, lets go
and straightens his robe.
"Oh, hi Nabiki, have you seen my dear Shampoo?"
"Well, let's see, I could tell you for, let's say, 4500 yen."
"4500!"
"Yep, she's with Ranma and if she has her way she'll probably be
with him all night."
"Oh, all right."
Mousse holds one sleeve above the other hand and a medium sized
cloth bag falls out. He opens the bag, takes out a coin, stares at it
for a few seconds and hands it to Nabiki saying "Ten."
"Ugh, Mousse, don't you have any paper money?"
"No, I only get paid 1/5 tips, and that is usually all coins."
**This is going to take all night. I might lose a customer while
this lout counts his money. Oh yeah!**
"Mousse."
Mousse hands Nabiki another coin.
"Fifteen. What is it Nabiki?"
"I've got an electronic change counter upstairs. Would you like me
to count it with that?"
"Sure it would be faster."
Nabiki runs upstairs, grabs the machine and runs back down.
"Ok, Pour the money in here
Nabiki grabs Mousse's arm moving it six inches to the left so the
the money actually falls in the machine.
The machine jangles and rattles and sorts out the coins.
"Y10,623 total, minus 5000 for the information, minus 504, leaves
you with Y5134."
"Hey, what do you mean 'minus 504?"
"What, never heard of a 5% change counting transaction charge
before?"
<Thud>
Nabiki keys the release and drops the rest of the money back into
the sack. She places the sack on the unconscious figure, kicks an arm
out of the doorway and walks to the kitchen. Briefly looking at the
faucet, but considering that too cruel, picks up the steaming teapot
and walks back to Mousse, pouring some of the hot water on the
unconscious boy.
"YARRGH! Why did you do that!?!"
Nabiki, looking bored, responds, "You would have prefered I used
cold water, Duck Boy?"
"Err. No."
"Ok. I could have just left you there," Nabiki puts on her most
innocent and compassionate face, "but because I'm such a honest and
caring business-woman, I've waited until now to tell you where 'your'
Shampoo is."
"Where?"
"At the hospital, Ranma got hurt, she's visiting him. She lef..."
"Wait for me Shampoo!" shouts Mousse as he runs off.
"..t about 15 minutes before you got.. here. Oh well."
Nabiki bends down and picks up something.
"I wonder how much he'll pay for these?" Holding up Mousse's glasses.
-----M1
-----T1
Walking out of the Doctor's Lounge, Tofu was still amazed that he
had fallen asleep. Sure he at been up most of the night studying for
his Pharmaceutical Recertification Boards for Tuesday, and the ordeal
with Ranma had been draining, both mentally and physically, but still
he was worried about the boy and in the role confidant/councillor it
had not been one of his best days professionally.
**Well I'd better go and see how Genma and the Tendo's are doing**
From what he'd seen from Dr. Yaun in the last month or so, he didn't
expect him to have talked to them on his own.
He reached the elevator, one could see how utterly exhausted he
still was. Ranma was out of his hands for the time being, but the
others were his patients too. If he could help them, more sleep would
just have to wait.
Stepping into the now open elevator he turns around to see that
someone else had already hit the "2." He waits for the elevator to
drop the one floor and open its doors again.
Stepping out, he again decides to see the others before checking up
on Ranma. He therefore turns left, instead of right and heads towards
the waiting room.
He soon notices Dr Yaun walking towards him. When Dr Yaun notices
him, his eyes narrow as he slightly changes direction towards him.
In a none to pleasant voice, angry really, he points down the other
direction and says, "You, follow me."
Dr. Tofu quietly turned and followed the senior physician down the
hall. A few feet past the elevators, Dr. Yaun turned and demanded,
"Just what did you tell that boy's father?"
Before Tofu could respond one of the elevators dinged open and two
people walked out. After they were out of earshot and before Tofu
could breath in to respond, Dr Yaun did it for him. "You told the
guy that Saotome kid had died, didn't you!"
For a time Dr. Tofu could say nothing. Nether man noticed the
elevator door trying to close but being held open.
-----T1
-----R3
Nabiki's 'studies' are once again interrupted by a knock at the pond
door. upon opening the door she lets out a little sigh.
"Ryoga, this is pathetic, even for you."
"No way! Why now? Three times in a row I find myself at Akane's
house and she's not home!"
Ryoga breaks down, tears streaming from his face.
**Reminds me of Dad, pathetic.**
"Hey Ryoga... Ryoga... RYOGA!"
Ryoga looks at Nabiki.
"I may have a way for you to get to Akane."
"You do? How?" Ryoga's eyes light up with new hope.
"I'm feeling sorry for you so I'll only charge you 1500 yen."
"Urk." Ryoga hands over the money.
"Thank you. Ok, Ryoga , how much cash do you have left?"
"A little over Y1000." Ryoga looks worried.
"Oh," she pauses, "I was going to call you a cab, but that would
cost you 3500-4000 yen. So sorry, but all I can do is tell you that
its that way." Pointing the direction for the third time that evening.
Ryoga face faults.
Nabiki shuts the door, muttering "pathetic, really pathetic."
-----R3
-----A4
Akane had rode up to the fourth floor with the old woman. She had
not only enjoyed the woman's stories about her husbands, the first
reminded her of Ryoga, her second, oddly enough, Kuno, but she had
also told the woman many things about herself and her problems, not
always in full, she couldn't find a way to explain Ranma's "problem."
She had, however to this stranger things she could have told anyone
she actually knew.
Lost in thought, happy ones for a change, she didn't notice the
doors open or the other passengers getting off. Finally realizing the
situation she thinks, **No baka. Will you wake up? You've been
spacing out all day.**
Akane then hears an almost familiar voice say, "You told the guy that
Saotome kid had died, didn't you!"
Akane froze. Ranma dead? The doubt, fear and guilt she had felt
earlier falls crushingly on her shoulders again. Bringing her lower
than she'd been all day. Somehow she managed to move her arm up to
stop the elevator door from closing and keep it open. She recognized
Dr. Tofu's voice next.
"Well it kind of slipped out."
<THUD!>
The thud sounded like someone hitting a wall. It also sounded like
her collapsing world.
"You STUPID idiot!" the first voice yelled, "I ask you to do one
simple, little, thing and now I have a huge mess on my hands!
Considering the job you did reviving the kid I thought you could
handle this. Wrong. Now I have some long haired wanna-be relative
pestering me about the kid being dead or paralyzed. Heck, there's
still a 50/50 shoot of the kid retaining full mobility of that arm.
No need to bother anyone about it. Now I have to come up with some
song and dance to appease these people." The voice sighs, "Come on,
I'd better check on the kid before we explain ourselves."
For several seconds Akane stays where she is. Right hand holding
the door open. Left, hugging the flower-filled vase. Ranma died. He
would be dead now except for for a dumb luck landing. She knew now
what it was that Tofu wound not or could not tell her. She thought
she also understood why, to.
A youngish duty nurse came over to Akane, she had been ready with
her favorite snide remark, but when she saw the girls expression, so
sad, so lost, she simply said, "Excuse me miss, but could you please
step out of the elevator so others can use it."
Akane nodded and stepped out of the elevator. With both arms now
holding the vase as if it were her very life, she walked back to the
waiting room.
-----A4
-----TK1
The door knocked again. It sounded more formal than any of the
previous calls.
"I was wondering when he'd show up." Nabiki says to herself as she
walks to the door.
"Hey Kuno-baby, what's up."
"Ah Nabiki Tendo, is either your sister, the lovely Akane, or my
beloved pig-tailed girl in tonight?"
"First things first, you want?" Nabiki holds up some pictures of
Ranma in his female form, "Only 5000 yen."
"Drat, Nabiki, thou knowest I canst allow such vile images to be
seen in public. Yet again I am forced to lower myself and purchase
your vile handiwork, if only to protect my beloved."
Kuno hands Nabiki the money, who in turn hands over the pictures.
Grabbing at the pictures, Kuno begins to thumb through each one,
eyes agape, mouth open.
"Kuno-baby, your drooling."
"What, Oh." Kuno quickly stuffs the pictures into his robe.
"There both out right now. Akane is with the rest of the family, a
private matter. I could tell you where I saw your pig-tailed goddess
heading last."
"You would?"
"Sure for 5000 Yen."
"Nabiki Tendo, with such a mercenary heart I fear you shall never
taste the sweet nectar from love's blossom." Kuno hands over the
money.
"Last I saw your pig-tailed one she was headed that way." Nabiki
points in the direction of Dr Tofu's clinic.
"That way hmm. What is that way? Of course! the docks! She must
of heard that construction has finished on our new family yacht and
wants to go on a moonlight cruise with me. It would be shameful of me
to let her spirits be dashed on such a lovely evening as this. Needs
be it that I go to her. Farewell Nabiki Tendo."
"Yeah, later Kuno-baby."
Nabiki returns to her magazine. Looking through Mr December's entry
she thinks to herself, **There's one guy who's assets I wouldn't mind
managing, and I do mean, his assets. <snort>**
-----TK1
-----KVSH1
The caped Kodachi stands on the ledge of the hospital's roof.
Contemplating the scene below, she calls out, "I am nie my love."
She steps off the roof, dropping three stories to the first of the
flag poles sticking out from the hospital. She does one, two, three
giant spins around the pole and flies to the other pole she had
chosen, doing one more spin then dismounting with a double layout.
Her landing is perfect, heels together, arms raised up and out, right
in front of the "Emergency Ambulance Entry Only" doors.
"Hah, lets any who would say that the Black Rose has lost any of her
early skills look upon that and weep!"
Kodachi bursts into laughter, a loud ear curdling cackle. After
recovering her composure some she thinks aloud, "Enough frivolity, I
am here to be with my darling Ranma, in his time of need."
"You is stupid."
"Who dares say that." hisses Kodachi as she turns to face the voice.
"No one be with Ranma except Shampoo!" replies the amazon as she
gets off her bike.
"If you think I am going to allow some uncultured, semi-literate,
tart come between Ranma and myself you are sadly mistaken!"
The two girls circle, Kodachi twirls her ribbon, and casts off her
cape. Shampoo keeps her body at a 45 degree angle to Kodachi. Her
left hand is in a low, defensive position, while her right is up over
and behind her right shoulder, out of Kodachi's view.
At the moment when Shampoo is between Kodachi and the hospital doors
she spins on her heel, never allowing Kodachi to see her right hand,
and walks towards the door.
-----KVSH1
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
General spam
This was written on a Mead Cambridge Day timer/planner. Entered into
the computer using the 'joe' text editor and spellchecked with ispell.
the versions are the ones realased by the Infomagic-Slackware Linux
March 23rd CD. I'm constantly beating the spell checker though. (It
doesn't know what the heck I'm trying to spell.)
Ok, this isn't exactly my best style to write in, but I felt the
story needed it at this point. There was alot of plot details to
setup before chapter 4.
You may have noticed that everyone of the regulars showed up except
Ukyou. She appears in chapter 5.
Section spam
-----R1
Not much to say, see the other Ryoga sections this one just starts
everything going.
Oh how do you spell the name of the Japanese stock market? I think I
mispelled it.
-----A1
More of my "deep inside the head of.." style, more background on/for
Akane. (Can you say foreshadowing for chapters 4,6, and 7?)
-----K1
Kodachi, next to Kasumi, the hardest character for me to write for.
I've only seen her in TV 6, 9 and the Christmas scramble, so I'm not
sure of my characterization.
-----A2
Transition point, I need the vase in A3 for chapter 4. This gets her
to the gift shop.
Again, I'm real weak with Kasumi.
-----R2
Pattern building. Yes, I've got an asbestoss suit for the mail I'll
be getting from the Ford people. Remember Nabiki is Japanese, and the
dollar is having problems.
-----A3
Ok, the first big one. The vase is central for sections of chapter
4. Doesn't have to be a vase and flowers, just breakable. (It's not
seeing the other side of chapter 4) Any other gift Ideas of a more
traditional Japanese nature?
Thanks to Hitomi again for the "little cakes" reference
It seems cruel to me to build up Akane like this just to smash her
down again in A4. Unfortunately I think I need to do this to sell the
braking point in chapter 4. (lets just say she loses it) The woman and
her advice/comments have no real bearing that I can forsee at this
point (but, then again, I didn't see the Akane sub-plot until I was
half way through chapter 1.) So I might be able to do this without
her.
The old woman just walked into my head. As I get better responce
from these spontanious free flows rather than my most thought out,
hand crafted dialoge, I present her to you. If you like her and/or
think that I should fill out some more of her and Akane's interaction,
I've got alot more that I can use in the begining of A4.
Also, as I am a engaged-once-messy-break-up-not-much-dating-since
bachelor, comments, from females, on my presentation of the female
prespective would be very helpful, if I keep her.
-----SH1
For all the Shampoo lovers out there, get this: I AM NOT WRITING HER
AS IF SHE WERE STUPID! it was a translation mistake on her part. If
you have any doubts, please wait until you see the Kodachi/Shampoo
fight in chapter 4, before you say I'm presnting her as stupid.
-----SO1
Soun, tried to show him as a compassionate friend. Tried to show Dr
Yaun as a jerk (Yaun is a chinese name, I have a much better selection
of chinese names, do to where I work, to draw upon, no other refererces
to China and the Chinese are implied here.) Truth be told, there is a
lot of my temperment (exagerated) in this guy, but I work on computers,
not people.
-----M1
Shows off Nabiki's mindset more. Needed another vinette, and I do
have a use for Mousse in chapter 4. My R4 idea (see R3) doesn't seem
to work if I throw Ryoga back here, so the idea of dropping Mousse
and adding the other third Ryoga vinette kind of flops.
-----T1
Although no one else thought he was damaged, I'm using this stuff to
rebuild Dr Tofu. Dr Yaun is a great surgain (I have got to figure out
how that word is spelled, my spellchecker is as clueless as I am.) but
a jerk. I hope I'm showing that well here. I've got plans for him in
chapter 4. More about him/this in A4.
-----R3
Other big question. Look at this section again. Do you think The
chapter would be better with this as the ending for the chapter? (A
15th vinette.) I've got another third Ryoga scene and could redo this
one as a fourth. I thought that it would be an overkill on the gag,
but I'm open on this one.
Over all goal with Ryoga, keep him out of the hospital.
-----A4
Reality Bites Akane. My main question here is how was the
presentation. Having the dialoge being heard from Akane's prespective
closed a lot of options for me, but I think it more important to
showcase her, as this is whom this discussion effects.
Did anyone notice that Dr Yaun comments were only directed on how
the situation effected him, and not the paitent/family.
I also tried to develop an emotional bond Akane is forming with the
vase, its symbolic meaning to her. As always, chapter 4. Did this
show through?
-----TK1
Got enough of a mess at the hospital built up, needed Kuno out of
the way. Nabiki did see Ranma fly off that morning, so she really
didn't lie, it was the last place she _saw_ Ranma go.
Does Nabiki sell pictures of Akane too, or is it just Gosenkugi
<sp>? I couldn't remember so I wrote Akane out of it, though I don't
think it works as well.
-----KVSH1
The other ending.
IMO Kodachi probably started out in regular gymnastics before she
found her true calling. A WAG on my part.
Again, for the Shampoo people, notice, Shampoo has just began the
fight by attacking Kodachi's great weakness, her mental stability.
If you think she droped her gaurd, no.
Oh yeah, sorry about the "Caped Kodachi" line, couldn't stop
myself. Too many old superhero comic books in my youth I guess.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks:
God, for giving me the life and talent I have.
Carl Macek, for hacking together Robotech, for without it, I'd still
have a credit rating. :(
Rumiko Takahashi, for hours of fun and laughter. Also for providing
the Ranma world, which I'm trashing up here.
Animego and Viz, for getting me Ms. Takahashi's works to me in a form I can
understand and legally own.
White Wolf, for starting the fanfic ML, where I began to spam this out.
Hitomi_Ichinohei, for providing the example and inspiration the take
the plunge.
and in classic, Last-But-Certainly-Not-Least form, tons o' thanks to:
Windlily, for, let us say, removing the by-products from the meat. I owe
you big time.
What's Next?
------------
Post Part 1 on R.A.A.S.
Chapter 3. The first rewrite
Chapter 4. It keeps writing itself in my head. I'll probably have it
down before I finsh Chapter 3.
Chapter 3. Final Draft.
Chapter 4. Final Draft.
Chapter 4 Highlights.
-----------------------
Kodachi vs Shampoo, the fight continues.
Kodachi vs Shampoo vs Akane, the fight escalates.
Ranma regains consciousness.
Ranma surprises Some of the staff.
Tofu does the chewing out.
and
Hard choices for Genma.
___________________________________________ _______________________________
| Bruce R. (just call me Ryoga) Brunk | All those animals. |
| Lake Oswego, Oregon | People eating Akane's cooking |
| Senior Systems Engineer, FEI America, Inc.| and liking it.... Something |
| brbrunk@agora.rdrop.com | weird is going on here! |
| brbrunk@industrial.com | - Saotome Ranma |
|___________________________________________|_______________________________|
| Executive Engineer, Hardware. H.A.C.K.S. | Nene, have your cake |
| Honored Attendies of the Cute Kight Sabre | and eat it too. |
|___________________________________________|_______________________________|