In A Galactic Farce...Far, Far Away...
The WARP FACTOR
(by David and Shannon)


Scene opens: We are looking at a newspaper open to

Rabble Rouser
CLASSIFIED (in big, bold letters)

It looks like the classified section of any normal newspaper. As we scan the
listed ads we see

*****************************
LOST!!!
Human Boy and
Daggit.
Both too cute to be
believed.
If found, please keep!
Call
Galatica
Ask for Capt. Cartwright
*****************************
V
THEY ARE
OUR FRIENDS
(small, insignificant type)
*****************************
Tired of Droids?
Too Inhuman?
Try Replicants
(small, insignificant type)
Tyrell Corp.
*****************************
Psychic War Vet
for Hire
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
PLANET SITTER!
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
HAVE YOU SEEN
MY BIG BLACK
SNARLY THING?!
Answers to Ryan
$Reward$
*****************************
WANTED!!!
Little Man to
Placate Pigs!
Call Aunty Entity
*****************************
Used Droids
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
JEDI FOR HIRE!
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
Sable Rose and Assoc.
Professional Bounties
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
WANTED!
New First Officer!
To Boldly Go
Where No Man Has...
never mind.
*****************************
Young Drac
In Need Of Uncle
Call Schuenger
For Details
*****************************
Ewok Hunter
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
DANGER!
WILL ROBENSON!
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
NEEDED!!
STARGATE Co-ordinates
(small insignificant type)
*****************************
Notice of Salvage!
Derelict ship found
Cargo: 5,000 large
oval eggs of unknown
species. If not claimed
within 25 standard rotations
will go up for general
auction.
*****************************


In the second to the last column, towards the bottom, is a small ad, circled.
It reads

****************************************
WANTED!!
PILOTS TO FLY small recon vessels
for Resistance Operative. Occasional decoy
duty where Imperial interests are involved.
Some experience suggested, Piloting license
not essential. Appointments impossible.
See Capt. Pendragon, Independent Star
Runner Excalibur 200, when available.
****************************************