Well - it's a start.

It read a little like an overview, or synopsys.  You might want to add in a
little depth here and there.  You could leave this chunk as an overview just
to catch the reader up to speed, and then put in a more evenly paced story
from chapter two, on.

The concept is ok, but has been done before in various forms (something
happens and there is a male and female Ranma running around).  That doesn't
matter as long as you feel that you have made your's different from
everybody elses.

Let's have a chapter two, then it will be easier to offer suggestions.  Not
much to work with here.  Not yet, at least.

good luck.
AlberCrombie
                                                                           
  --==-=-=-=-=-====-==-----===-=-====-----=-==-=-=-=-=-===-=-====-=----===-=== 
                 Ranmamaniac: SOS, CON, COR, LOR, OCS, OAA                 
                    cesnyd01@starbase.spd.louisville.edu                   
               URL: http://www.spd.louisville.edu/~cesnyd01/               
              AlberCrombie ---- The One And Only Space Gopher              
                                                                           
       "It's not the one bullet with your name on it that you have to worry  
         about; it's the twenty thousand-odd rounds labeled `occupant.'"   
                                     --Murphy's Laws of Combat