Another BGZone #9 Update!!
Gotcha!
As always, fire away with the comments and suggestions!
Ready!
Aim!
*blam*blam*zing*
Arggh! I .. I can see the light! \(O.O)/
=====
14 you interested in giving ironclad security to your nation's
15 defense? If you fit any of these categories, then the A-12
^^^^
The A-12, as I remember, was a cancelled US Navy project calling for a
flying wing along the lines of the USAF's B-2 bomber. I think the project
was nicknamed the "Invader".
16 `Tankbuster' Heavy Combat Boomer is for you! Designed for
17 the discriminating arms-buyer, the A-12 sports an impressive
18 array of offensive power. From the 1000-terawatt particle
19 beams to the compact, but deadly, Vulcan autocannons, it's
20 all you'll ever need from a front-line combat boomer! As an
21 added bonus, the A-12 can be configured to meet specific
OK, The first sentence says, "all you'll ever need", while the next line
says, "an added bonus ... can be configured...". I think this is a
inconsistent description. It should either be "well configured out of the
factory", or be "easily modified after you rip off the bubble-wrap".
As an aside, have you asked any advertising majors about compositon?
22 mission profiles! Just pull out the unnecessary components,
23 and insert the new ones!" The monologue paused briefly, and
^^^^^^
I still liked my "swap out - swap in" idea. B-)
24 the boomer finished off its last opponent in an impressive
25 blast of pyrotechnics.
^^^^^
"show"?
26 "For those of you who can't afford that unbeatable army
27 you've always wanted right away, no problem!! Just talk to
28 your local GENOM representative, and a deferred-payment plan
29 can be negotiated for a minimal charge. Some dealers may
^^^^^^^
Hmm, is this how Genom gets back out of the sales doldrums? Making it easier
for the little guys to buy combat boomers?
I'm imagining that these dealers are used to selling regular, everyday servant
boomers. Maybe you can fit something in about this?
30 sell for less; `Plug'N'Play' options extra. Buy now! This
31 is a limited time offer! GENOM Armaments: Tomorrow's
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What offer? I didn't see any offer.
32 firepower, Today!!"
///
98 "Have you seen Nene yet?" he asked a nearby secretary.
99 The harried, brown-haired young woman looked up from the
^^^^^^^^^
Can she be busy enough to _not_ look up from her terminal?
100 report she was rapidly pounding into the computer in front
101 of her.
///
154 Now, those suspicions surged back to the forefront,
155 clamouring for attention. Who exactly was he? He vaguely
156 remembered Nene calling him `Bert', but that was it.
^^^^^^
How about giving Leon a slightly fuzzy memory: "Ben? Boris? Benson?
Bert? Bert, that's it!"
157 Apparently, he had an engineering job somewhere, but where
158 exactly? No matter how hard he thought about it, he
///
167 He dismissed that though a moment later as unlikely; Nene
168 didn't have any of the signs of someone abusing her. Given
169 the way he'd seen the two of them look at each other on the
170 very rare occasions when he did see them together, it was
171 unlikely that there was that kind of a problem: the red-
172 haired couple were obviously madly in love with each other.
But does being madly in love equal no abuse, ever? Can anyone come up
with a better argument for Leon to give up this line of thought?
173 Okay, fine; leaving that aside, just who the hell was he,
174 what did he do, and what was Nene getting involved in?
///
183 herself as Hollister's hands started to come up. She'd done
184 it! She'd managed to get the bastard who'd hurt Bert and
^^^^^^^^
185 Sylvie, and now she was going to...
^^^^^^
Hey, did she forget about Anri?
186 Her heart leaped into her throat as Hollister suddenly
187 dodged sideways, leveling a large gun of some kind at her.
///
196 ****
197 "NOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Was her scream this coherent during the actual attack? Repeating exactly
what she screamed at the time would seem to make more sense, unless she was
being an observer (and a participant) in her own dream, and she was trying
to prevent what had happened.
198 Bert jerked upright in his recliner at the terrified
199 scream that suddenly blasted from his bedroom. Pitching the
///
219 "Another nightmare?" he asked quietly, running a hand
220 tenderly through her tangled hair. She nodded wordlessly,
^^^^^^
Can the nodding be more slight? It may be more of an emotional impact if it
was "hard to tell her nodding from her shuddering".
221 her face still pressed against him. He squeezed her gently
///
232 impression that had been irrevocably shattered by
233 Hollister's bullet. He hoped the shock would not be an
^^^^^
"experience"?
234 insurmountable obstacle for her.
///
253 He hugged Nene again, wishing her peace of mind with
^^^^^^
Would Nene be in pain if he hugged her too hard? If so, how about changing
it to "lightly again"?
254 more intensity than he'd ever wished for anything before,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
... and would be a good contrast to this.
///
282 any longer, there was sure to be a semi-official probe into
283 her illness, and they couldn't risk that. At the mention of
284 sleep, however, the fear in Nene's eyes intensified a bit.
^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^
One thing I remembered from watching all that anime is that when a young
lady becomes more scared, her eyes are to water up slightly, almost
like priming the reserves to cry some more.
285 "Will....will you stay with me for the rest of the
286 night?" she asked him in a small, quavering voice. She was
287 still trembling, and her pulse was still pounding like
288 runaway trip-hammers; he could feel it as he held her.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nani kore?
289 "Please? I....I don't want to be alone...I..." Her voice
///
332 "Think you'll be okay?" he asked quietly, sitting on
333 the edge of the desk. She looked back at him, biting her
334 lip in uncertainty, and nodded, once. Bert very carefully
335 kept any more unease about her from leaking through to his
336 face; Nene wasn't talking much, which was not a good sign.
What are her hands doing at this point? Can you add something about Nene
clasping her hands together on her lap?
///
367 over the fact that he couldn't help her in any other way
368 other than being there for her; he wanted to do more,
369 damnit.
^^^^^^
Is it "dammit", or damn it"?
370 He strode rapidly through the halls, avoiding
///
528 with short, dark brown hair and a slender, well-rounded
529 figure, wearing shorts and a dark T-shirt was muffling her
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Have you put any seasonal changes into your stories, or has it just been
three years worth of summer?
530 laughter behind a hand. Sitting quietly next to her, not
///
615 Wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, he
616 slammed the mug back down onto the counter, slopping a few
617 drips over the side onto the counter top, and turned away
^^^^^
"drops"?
618 to the worktable sitting in the center of the room. On it
///
626 computer beeped; it had finished analyzing his calculations.
627 Dropping the scanner, he strode quickly over to the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What did it fall onto? The workbench, a toolbox, or what?
628 computer, snatching the printout from the print roller as it
///
705 a hotplate, off to the side of the worktable. He refilled
706 the mug, adding his usual dosages of cream and sugar. As
^^^^^^^
"Heapings"?
707 Sylia watched, he drank the mugful in a steady, continuous
///
796 corridor, a faintly exasperated expression on her face. "I
797 told you to get some rest," she informed him. His shoulders
"... "I thought I told you ..."
///
910 kind of personality change, Leon was willing to bet his
911 badge that the guy wasn't a criminal...well, not a mobster,
^^^^^^^
"Mobster" sounds so ... uncouth. Is it just how Leon speaks? What about
something involving the phrase, "organized crime", or the like?
///
1021 hand onto the backrest of a nearby Nautilus machine. Her
1022 leg snarled at her, sending pains shooting along the nerves
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^1 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^2
1. How have her injuries been explained to her band?
2. "pain signals up and down her nerves"?
1023 at the sudden movement, reminding her again of why she was
///
1315 great extent. On a large, central viewscreen, the computer
1316 displayed a rendered image of what was actually happening
^^^^^^^^
Would this actually be useful? I always thought the USAF used wireframe
models in their Top Gun training academy for clarity. The information
provided by actually rendering a scene may not be as useful as a more
spartan, statistical display. But this assumes that Sylia spent all her
money on the sim's rendering computers.
1317 from the computer's viewpoint: A silver-and-blue hardsuit
///
1333 "Full assault," she replied flatly. Behind her, Priss
1334 sucked in a sharp breath, and her fingers dug into the back
1335 of Sylia's chair as her hands clenched in worry. The three
^^^^^
I remember seeing Sylia's testing lab not having any sit-down chairs, but
looked like it needed some tall stools or the like.
1336 women watched the viewscreen as a sudden horde of blue C-55
1337 combat boomers charged towards the lone silver suit.
///
1348 feet again as a scorching volley of spitting, blue-white
1349 plasma bolts carved divots from the asphalt where he'd been
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Shouldn't these holes be smoking by now?
1350 standing a scant second before.
///
1427 as he stiffly rolled over on the ground, just barely
1428 avoiding another round of cannon fire into the pavement
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wouldn't there be pavement chips flying about?
1429 where he'd been laying. The two B-12s that had caught him
///
1753 can, and proceeded to throw up violently in it. The racking
| ^^^^^^^^
|
1760 The hot shower helped to revive his flagging energy
1761 just a bit, and he felt almost normal again once he'd dried
1762 himself off and thrown on a clean tracksuit. He still felt
1763 a little out of it, however, so he splashed some cold water
1764 on his face. It helped a little, but he realized he was
Uh, wouldn't he try to rinse out his mouth? And stomach acid does tend to
make the teeth "tingle". (>_<)
///
1853 "Okay, fine," he nodded. "It's a deal." There was a
1854 sudden ringing in his ears, and he blinked, looking around
|
|
1861 "What's wrong?!" Priss asked worriedly. "What the hell
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Agitated, sure, but wouldn't, "What is it? What is it?!" be more PG-13?
1862 is it?!" She and Sylvie were holding him upright by main
1863 strength; Bert's legs wouldn't support him any longer.
|
|
1867 There was a loud, rolling, rumble, almost like an ocean
1868 was crashing down on him; black waves of unconsciousness
1869 washed over his sight, and the room vanished.
I've had this happen to me a few times, didn't faint, but the ringing is
right on, changing to a roar also seems to be right. But there was also
this feeling of being disconnected from one's body, and doing things by
observing the results of your movement commands from a distance, and seeing
things in something like tunnel-vision.
///
1876 the stopping car had raised. A pair of booted feet swung
1877 out of the car to the ground, being followed a moment later
1878 by a tall, blue-clad, brown-haired man with an ADP badge
1879 hanging on his jacket.
Hey, what's been happening with Daley? Where is he?
///
1923 widened a bit at that; that suit was a fairly impressive
1924 piece of work, and was probably worth several thousand yen.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Several thousand yen, even now - before inflation due to time, is worth at
most US$100.
///
2021 workouts. His mouth tasted foul, and he desperately needed
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, since he didn't even try to rinse out his mouth from thowing up, I'm
surprised that it doesn't taste ... _really_ bad. (o.O)
2022 a drink of water on top of that. There was a dull, gritty
///
2069 very polite, you know." Bert flushed guiltily as he sat
| ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
|
2081 Bert flushed again guiltily, and he didn't reply for a few
^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
And here I was, thinking you didn't like to use the same words again within
a short distance from each other.
///
2108 "And you felt guilty for running me through the
2109 wringer," Bert quietly added, "and you felt you had to
2110 apologize or make up for it somehow." Sylia flushed a
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wow, quite a lot of blushing and flushing in this scene, eh?
2111 bright red, and looked horribly embarrassed for a moment.
///
2321 Picking up the water bottle from the table, she took a
2322 long draught, enjoying the feeling of delicious coolness as
2323 it spread through her parched tissues. She took another
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Um, "parched tissues"? That somehow makes me think of a box of Kleenex
in the desert. (O_o)
2324 drink after the first one had been given time to settle,
///
2461 thoughts. She stopped, and waited; several minutes passed,
2462 and there was still no movement from the prone, red-haired
2463 individual.
Several _minutes_?! Ouch! (X_X)
///
2585 off her knees to sit cross-legged next to him on the floor.
2586 He seemed to be completely in control of himself; she wasn't
2587 getting any hostile or tense feelings from him anymore.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So Linna is part Betazed now, is she? ^_- Or is she just "reading his
aura"? ^_^;;
///
2624 didn't help that impression." A long interval of silence
^^^^^^^^^^^
You used "impression" in a phrase at line 2577.
///
2664 tension flash through him, and then disappear. After a
2665 period of strangled noises, and subdued, under-his-breath
2666 swearing, Bert made it to a fully upright position again.
^^^^^
"mostly"?
///
2687 be a better combatant was a good idea, especially since he
2688 seemed to have developed a certain amount of natural attack
2689 aptitude since his kidnapping. She wrestled with her own
^^^^^^^^
Where did she get this impression, unless she'd been in contact with Sylia
about the latest test?
2690 inner fears for a few moments, and made her choice.
///
2702 as they herded her towards to front entrance to the non-
2703 descript brown brick building where the exercise facilities
2704 and archery ranges were located. "I can't take it anymore!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ah, so that's where all the above was happening. Does Linna have her own
key to the place?
2705 Just shoot me now, goddamnit!!"
///
2734 Sylvie's pull on her, and they trooped through the doors,
2735 and over to the stairs. Why the hell didn't he put in an
2736 elevator system?, Priss snarled to herself as she climbed
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Aren't these required by building codes? One possible explanation for a
current lack of elevators could be that they're "still being installed".
2737 the stairs, leg cheerily protesting all the way. At least
///
2801 "Holy shit!! What the hell happened to you?!" Priss
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
2802 burst out. "What the hell did you do now?!" Out of the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Alright already, we know she isn't the most eloquent of the bunch, but do
try to cut back, please!
2803 corner of her eye, Sylvie saw Linna twitch, and started to
2804 look at her questioningly, but Bert's voice replying
///
2923 "It's just that Leon's been checking him out,
2924 apparently," Naoko shrugged. "A friend of mine down in the
^^^^^^^^^^
This sentence sounds like the dreaded, "Dangling Participle".
2925 Records division told me that Leon had a background check
///
3093 brown eyes unrevealing. Bert briefly envied her as he paced
3094 the length of the room, back and forth, several times. Nene
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In the same place Priss was pacing when Bert conked out after the shower?
3095 sat on the couch next to Sylia's chair, holding her own
///
3185 together after what Hollister did to me, and having
3186 something else ruin my life right now...would be more than I
3187 can handle." He went over and sat next to Nene on the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"... over and finally sat down next ...", since he was pacing around for
so long.
3188 couch, reaching out and taking his now-cold mug of tea,
///
3240 away; we won't need the plane for that short a distance."
3241 She didn't bother mentioning that they really needed someone
3242 to fly it anyway; leaving the KnightWing unattended was not
3243 a good idea.
What happened to Mackie again? I'm just lost in the multiple universes of
fanfics.
///
3316 softsuit interface worked, but as long as they worked, he
3317 wasn't going to knock himself out over details; the control
3318 systems were the one thing on the hardsuits he didn't fool
3319 with.
This reminds me of the way Microsoft writes up API's, and all the little
programmers write apps to that standard, and everything works fine. B-)
///
3340 latched them into their respective shoulder mounts. Their
3341 muzzles briefly tracked around the lab as his suit
3342 battlecomputer tested them out before adding their command
^^^^^^^
3343 paths to the main suit control programs. He was ready, he
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm thinking that the control programs are either based on some form of
Unix (now owned by SCO B-), or some OO (Object Oriented) technology.
A Unix based OS would need initialization of the hardware-recognizing
and initialization drivers, but that can be activated by the physical
connection. This would be like the "command paths" that you wrote of.
An OOOS (tongue twister, eh? B-) would not need a "program" to run, as any
added component would be recognized instantly. The closest parallel to
everyday language would be: the system becomes "concious" of the additional
hardware, and will query the peripheral about how it should be used, and
what it can do for the system, making a seamless integration into the
Hardsuit as a whole. The one limit on this "simulated conciousness" (not
even close to AI), is that you need a great amount of parallel hardware and
the communications network between components to make things run at an
acceptable speed.
Golly, maybe I _should_ subscribe to BYTE magazine. >B-}
///
3451 had been a shortage of qualified suit pilots around when the
3452 current disaster had developed. Topping that off, the K-17s
3453 hadn't been overhauled in so long, that some of them had
^^^^^^^^^^
"maintained", "had a tune-up"?
3454 developed mechanical quirks ranging from poor control of the
3455 suit, to involuntary shutdowns. He mentally promised
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Following from the above OS spiel, I suggest something about system crashes,
and a comparison to a certain currently popular OS. ^_^;
3456 himself that he was going to correct the negligence of the
3457 mechanics when....if he made it back to the station in one
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"... mechanics when he .... if he made ..."
3458 piece.
///
3467 pilots, elsewhere in the city, from just a meagre handful of
^^^^^^
"meager", unless you're using a spell checker from the UK. ^_^;;
///
3480 hull breach on the right shoulder of his suit. Luckily, no
^^^^^^^^^^^
3481 systems had been damaged. He was still in the fight.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Luckily, no major systems had been damaged, just some backup power
supplies." >B-]
///
3515 "Awwwwwwww SHIT!" Leon swore, feeling panic claw at
3516 him; he was a sitting duck now. It would be several minutes
3517 before the backup systems came on-line enough to allow him
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you followed the last suggestion, this could change into a
"reconfiguration", or "reinitialization" of the backup power supplies.
3518 to move. In the meantime, the boomers could pick him off
///
3528 The strike never connected, as the killer machine was driven
3529 off of its feet by a pile-driving, roundhouse punch from the
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Pile drivers usually are used in a downward direction, and the punch ins't.
3530 silver-and-blue clad armour suit that suddenly materialized
3531 in front of it. The boomer hit the pavement headfirst
3532 almost twenty feet away, and rolled over swiftly, roaring
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
With twenty feet of fly time, why wouldn't it try to right itself during the
fall, instead of taking the hit, and then straightening up afterwards?
Current autonomous robot control systems have "behaviors" that duke it out
in the OS for control of the 'bot. If you run the same trials over and over
again, the system learns the best, most efficient way to deal with it.
If this attack is not far enough into the boomer's test cycle, then just
ignore the above. B-)
3533 defiantly.
///
3650 He wasn't quite fast enough; there was a high-pitched
3651 screech, and a ripping sound, and a wave of angrily burning
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
3652 pain spread out from where the boomer's claws had sliced his
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Have you ever gotten what you thought was a paper cut from some metal
contraption, looked at it one second later, and noticed a little too
much blood for a paper cut was coming out? You first notice it as little
more than a quick, cold streak running along the actual cut, like a scratch,
but deeper under your skin, then the all little pain receptors decide that
you shouldn't ignore this intrusion, and finally, you howl in pain. B-]
3653 side. Slapping a gauntleted hand to the gash, SkyKnight
///
3661 out around the edges of the gash. Unfortunately, the sides
3662 of the suits, under the arms, was where the armouring was
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
3663 the thinnest. It had to be, in order to allow the wearer
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Since the boomers seem to know this weakness, couldn't the boomers be
basing their knowledge of weak points on their own weaknesses? In other
words, do the boomers themselves, have the least armor at the joints too?
///
3912 effect that more K-17s were being sent to his area. He
3913 ponderously stomped over to the area where the police suits
^^^^^^^
"clanked", "shuddered", "sproinged"? ^_^;;
3914 apparently had SkyKnight surrounded.
///
3945 her mind, uneasy fear had begun to crawl around, and she
3946 thought that she felt a twinge from her stomach muscles.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"stomach area"?
3947 She tried to ignore the feelings, chiding herself for
///
3983 racing heart. She was about to call Sylia when a cold,
3984 mechanical voice from the boomer paralyzed her with icy
3985 fear.
3986 "Identity confirmed," the biomechanoid stated
3987 laconically. "Red Knight Saber. Procedure: Exterminate."
3988 The boomer seemed to suddenly smile malevolently. "Threat
3989 Level Estimate: Inconsequential."
3990 ****
Uh, isn't this a little cliche? I think you should just describe what
the boomer is seeing in its field of view, a la the first Robocop movie.
But if you want the impact of a mechanical voice ... I have no idea how
else to do it.
///
4025 "BERT!!! SYLIA!!! SOMEBODY HELP MEEE!!! PLEASE!!!!"
4026 Nene's voice shrieked, sobbing at the same time. There was
4027 the sound of a loud impact of some kind over the channel,
4028 and the line went dead.
4029 Everything seemed to start moving very slowly, as
4030 SkyKnight spun sharply, ears ringing from the force Nene had
Could he just jerk slightly from the shock of such a loud intrusion? Then
the K-17's can get confused about why he looked like he was in pain, and
SkyKnight could then start running off.
Maybe even have him look in the general direction of where the scream may
have come from .... come to think of it, can't the comm systems play with
the phases of the sound coming out of each earpiece to make a 3D imaged
sound source, so as to give aural cues to where the speaker was in
relation to the pilot? This would make the pilot's situational awareness
much more in tune with the action.
And since he was about to speak, wouldn't the volume of Nene’'s scream
leak over into the external speaker pickups and give the ADP a clue to
why SkyKnight was running away?
I just want ADP to be more involved, and giving them clues like this may
make them slow down a bit more in the short term, and make the "grunts"
more passionate about not trying to stop the KS. That is, unless Hollister
and his group have already infiltrated the ADP brass.
///
4122 shots she'd hit it with. Topping that off, her sensors
^^^^^^^^^^^
4123 couldn't find a weak point on the boomer's armour to
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
4124 exploit. Calling for help hadn't produced any responses,
Do these boomers have ECM capability now?
///
4134 "No," she whimpered again, trying to huddle back into
4135 the wall. Everything she could see turned blurry with tears
4136 as her eyes brimmed again. "No, please, no..." She stared
4137 at her imminent demise, a sick feeling settling over her,
4138 unable to look away as the glow in the boomer's weapon
Is she asking the boomer to stop? Is she seeing Hollister in the place
of the boomer like in a flashback? Or is she reliving her dream again,
where she was trying to change what happened in the past?
///
4148 wall. She couldn't see what was going on, however, since
4149 the earlier explosions had blinded her temporarily.
Could she not also have clenched her eyes from all the knocking around she
was recieving?
4150 She heard metal plating scrape and grind against her
4151 hardsuit as whatever it was that was laying on top of her
4152 shifted, and started to move. She felt the heavy weight on
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
4153 her ease as whoever was on top of her started to get up, and
^^^^^^^^
Woah, isn't feeling weight in a hardsuit _bad_? Sorta meaning that you
are currently being crushed in your personal tin can.
I mean, sure, being immobilized, that can give you a clue that there'’s
something heavy, but I did'n’t think the hardsuits themselves could transfer
surface pressure detected, into something you can feel inside the suit.
4154 she heard some pained, under-the-breath swearing. A faint
4155 hope blossomed.
///
4404 weren't supposed to be. He sighed, deciding that
4405 complaining about his treatment wouldn't really get him
4406 anywhere.
But wasn't the boomer tracking his plasma saber to begin with?
///
4440 eyes were whirling with a complex multitude of concerns.
4441 She was wearing a form-fitting white, red, and blue bodysuit
4442 of some description, covered by a white lab coat.
Are you forgetting about the ear clips? If so, look at BGC ep8.
///
4460 fondly as he hugged her, then allowed her to step back.
4461 "Would you want me to?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Why? Would you want me to?"
4462 at her, hiding a smirk.
4463 "It'd be a hopeless wish," she said dryly. "You've
///
4473 He'll probably gripe about stiffness for a couple of days,
4474 but nothing you can't live with."
4475 "Easy for you to say," she retorted, smiling. "You
^^^^
4476 don't see him nearly every day. I do."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"You're not the one that's going to be listening to him gripe "for a couple
of days"."
4477 "The burdens of command," her uncle replied blandly.
///
4547 haired young woman was clad, as usual, in her snugly-fitting
4548 blue-white bike suit, and her helmet lay upended in a nearby
4549 chair, with her gloves crammed inside of it. Her golden-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wait, are her gloves that big, or is her head that small? ^_^;
4550 brown eyes kept shifting from Bert to Priss. Linna was
///
4663 leaned back into the couch looking resentful for a moment.
4664 She didn't say anything else, but Bert noticed she was
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Even though he's still pacing around like a thundercloud?
4665 unconsciously rubbing her injured leg. Sylia's remarks
///
4705 "Thank you," Sylvie said, eyes suddenly brimming with
4706 tears of happiness. "I can't tell you how much this
4707 means....I..." She quit speaking as Priss carefully stood
4708 and walked over to where she was sitting and gave her a
^^^^^^
"walked", or "hobbled"?
4709 quick hug. Sylvie hugged her friend back, and took a couple
///
4749 "He...can't...do....the.." Priss gasped, then collapsed
4750 laughing again, tears squeezing out of her eyes.
4751 "Ergonomics of my suit," Sylvie finished for Sylia,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sylia or Priss (who is hysterical right now)?
4752 puzzled. "What's so funny about that?" Sylia developed a
///
4762 control systems to work properly."
4763 "Well what's so hard about taking my measurements?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
4764 Sylvie asked, still puzzled. "That shouldn't be
^^^^^^^^^^^^
4765 too....hard." She looked at Bert, abruptly remembering just
^^^^^^^^^^^
You're repeating a phrase needlessly.
4766 who she was dealing with. She grinned suddenly, impish
///
4797 table; it was slightly awkward, handling things while his
4798 hand was bandaged up. It felt like he was wearing gloves.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"mittens"?
4799 With a sigh, he flopped back into his recliner, and tossed
///
4812 NOTE: Okay folks, Idea time.
4813 I'm open to suggestions as to what colour to make
4814 Sylvie's hardsuit.
Red with white accents, to match the DD.
///
4815 Sayonara!
Ja ne!
///
----------
Yung "William/The Forgotten One/Who?" Wong
(^_^) <gon@tsar.poly.edu> -=-<>--<>-=- <ywong01@barney.poly.edu> (;_;)
}-==================================================================-{
"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact,
it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to
invent. (R. Emerson)"
-- Quoted from a fortune cookie program
Gon%