Dark Streamline A.D. Viz-ion Image Entertainment presents...

A "Not-Bloody-Likely" Production

======================================================================
    -----------THE GREAT ANIME CROSSOVER FROM HELL!!!-----------
======================================================================
by Erin "So what if my grammar and spelling's atrocious?!" Mills
----------------------------------------------------------------------
With apologies to the creators of all characters herein
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Episode 2: Law vs. Justice--What Do You Mean They're Not the Same 
Thing?!

    The phone was ringing in Aaron Miller's house. It continued to 
ring and Aaron, half asleep on the couch, concluded that exactly this 
much was all right with the world.
    The day before was a mess. After what seemed to be the start of a 
great Spring Break, Aaron recieved the surprise of his life.
    Namely, the appearance of one Ranma Saotome and one Akane Tendo, 
the stars of the anime/manga series "Ranma 1/2." Normally, Aaron 
might have been delighted to see the two of them, if it wasn't for 
the fact that they weren't supposed to exist in the real world.
    Things went from bad to worse when two other "Ranma" characters, 
Ryoga Hibiki and Ukyou Kuonji, were arrested by Washington D.C.'s 
finest and had to be bailed out.
    Then came the really hard part...
    
    "Welcome to my humble abode," Aaron said, unlocking the front 
door of the house he shared with four other people. The four 
fictional entities looked around.
    "Nice place," said Ranma. "You pay to live here--UGH!" 
    "It's very nice," Akane said, removing her fist from Ranma's face.
    "And it's got a HUGE kitchen," Ukyou said, spying the room in 
question. 
    "Yep, this place has it all," Aaron said. Then he noticed Ryoga 
looking around uncomfortably. "Something wrong, Ryoga?"
    "Uh-" Ryoga began, "Where's the--?"
    "Oh, down the hall, third door on the right,"
    Ryoga nodded and started down the hall.
    "Make yourselves at home," Aaron said. "I have to go make a few 
arrangements," 
    <Like cleaning my room so somebody can use it,> Aaron finished 
silently.

    Ranma, Akane and Ukyou wandered into the living room. It had the 
usual acoutrements of a college student's house. Used furniture, a 
few pictures that had been on the walls for god-knew-how-long. The 
only truly nice things in the room were a mahogany shelf housing a 
mess of videocassettes (mostly anime) and an entertainment setup that 
must've cost about a couple thousand dollars.
    "Boy," said Ranma, sitting on the couch. "This guy takes his 
entertainment seriously," 
    Akane sank into a chair. "Who cares?" she said, "I'm just glad to 
finally sit down, and relax after this crazy day,"
    "You said it," Ukyou piped up, unslinging her combat spatula and 
leaning it up against the wall, before flopping into the chair next 
to the video shelf. "Finding yourself in America, defending your life 
and getting arrested all in one day is just a bit too much..." 
    "No kidding," said Ranma. "What I want to know is, what did that 
loon back there mean when he called us fictional characters?"
    "Stop calling him a loon," Akane said, frowning. "If it wasn't 
for Aaron, we'd probably all be in jail tonight, without anyone to 
bail us out, or out on the street somewhere,"
    "That still doesn't explain what he meant by `fictional 
characters'," Ranma replied.
    An object came sailing at him. Ranma caught it one handed and 
glared at Ukyou, who had thrown it. 
    "This is what he meant," she said. Ranma looked down at the video 
cassette with the words "Ranma 1/2: TV Series Vol. 1" printed across 
the top of the box.

    There had followed a very long night of explanations and Ryoga 
searching. (They finally found him in the attic, buried under a few 
dozen boxes.) When Aaron had finally convinced the four of them that 
this wasn't some big practical joke, they decided to turn in. Ukyou 
and Akane shared Aaron's room, while Aaron, Ranma and Ryoga made camp 
in the living room. Just before going to sleep, however, Ranma and 
Ryoga had a little discussion with Aaron...

    "You know about our little secrets, right?" Ranma asked, holding 
a fist under Aaron's nose.
    "Yes," Aaron replied.
    "And you're going to keep my secret from Akane, yes?" Ryoga said, 
holding the tip of his umbrella against Aaron's throat.
    "Of course I am!" Aaron snapped. "I'm not a complete idiot!"
    "Just so we understand each other," said Ryoga, lowering the 
umbrella, and stretching out on the floor.
    <Christ,> Aaron thought, <I'm never going to Nerima...>
    
    Which brings us back to the phone. Aaron's hand, moving under 
it's own power, with no help from the brain at all, picked up the 
reciever and placed it in the general area of his mouth and ear.
    "Grxzwahsadh, wha happened?"
    "MILLER!" Lt. Mallory's voice brought Aaron six steps closer to 
wakefulness.
    "Lieutenant! How nice to hear your charming voice at," he checked 
his watch, "4:30 in the morning. To what do I owe this early moring 
call?"
    "Is that Kuonji dame at your place?"
    "Excuse me a moment..." Aaron walked down the hal and knocked on 
the door of his bedroom.
    "What is it?" Akane asked sleepily, opening the door. Aaron was 
to tired to notice that Akane was wearing his pajamas.
    "Is Ukyou in there?" 
    "Yes, why?"
    "Oh nothing, just the esteemed Lt. Mallory's on the phone, 
wondering where she is. Nothing to worry about. Sorry to wake you 
up."    
    Aaron walked back to the living room and picked up the phone.
    "Yes, Miss Ukyou Kuonji is here and sleeping soundly in my 
bedroom,"
    "Why, Miller, you cradle-robber,"
    "Cut the crap, Chuck, it's too early. I'm sleeping on the couch, 
by the way. Why'd you want to know where she was?"
    "Because somebody just sent a severed head to the front desk 
here, and the cut looks similar to the ones Kuonji inflicted with 
those spatulas of hers on the lowlifes in Lafayette Park,"
    "Fascinating. Why're you telling me this?"
    "Because the desk sargeant says the woman who delivered the thing 
was Asian. I thought she might have been another one of your friends,"
    "Description, please," Aaron yawned. 
    "Young girl, short black hair, kinda small, dressed in a black 
bodysuit, tan trenchcoat, pink knee-length boots, and black 
fingerless gloves," Mallory rattled off.
    "Doesn't sound familiar. Sorry, Chuck. Good night," Aaron hung up 
before Mallory could reply. 
    God, Mallory could be a pain sometimes. Help a few fictional 
characters who happen to be Japanese out and Mallory thinks every 
Asian suspect is connected to you.
    Aaron flopped down in the chair next to the video shelf. His eyes 
idly wandered over the videos. Something caught his attention. 
Realization cut through the fog in his brain and he grabbed the case 
he was staring at. 
    On the cover was a girl who looked exactly like the one Mallory 
had described. The title on the case was "Battle Angel,"
    "Oh, shit." Aaron said. "Gally!"

    "Explain to me again exactly what we're doing out here," said 
Ranma. Aaron handed a translated manga over to him.
    "She's called Battle Angel Alita here, but her real name is 
Gally. She's a cyborg, and currently the most dangerous person in 
D.C."
    "Why?" asked Ukyou.
    "Check out page 147,"
    The "Ranma" regulars did. Page 147 showed Gally removing the 
head of a cyborg at least ten times larger than herself.
    "Jeez," said Ranma, eyes wide.
    "To say the least," Aaron said. "She's from a world where there 
is no police. An enitity known as the Factory puts a bounty on the 
heads of wanted criminals and lets freelance bounty hunters like 
Gally do the dirty work. Gally doesn't do it for the money though, 
she does it to regain her lost memory.
    "Anyway, My guess is that she took out some punk tonight, and 
took the head to the authorities. Unfortunately, that turned out to 
be Mallory's precinct,"
    "And we figure into this, how?" Ranma asked.
    "We've got to find Gally first and get her off the street before 
she sends another head to Mallory. Because if he tries to arrest her, 
I don't want to think about what's going to happen,"

    The junkie ran down the alley, carrying a Toshiba television. You 
didn't see many of these anymore. Big Louie had to give him at least 
a hundred for it. He was gonna be rolling in the fix tonight!
    The junkie was so caught up in his fantasy, he didn't notice the 
small figure at the other end of the alley until he was almost on top 
of her.
    "That does not belong to you," she said, pointing at the 
television. The junkie looked down at the small girl.
    "No shit, get outta my way, bitch, or I'm gonna make you move,"He 
pulled out a switchblade. 
     Gally smiled. The quiet predatory smile all hunters have.   
 "Come on, then," she said. The junkie blinked.
 "You one super freaky psycho bitch," he said as he brought the knife 
in to stab her. 
   The blade bent on Gally's metal body. The junkie stared at his 
bent knife in disbelief.
    "My turn," said Gally as she unsheathed her Bowie knife with the 
six inch blade.
    The junkie's screams echoed down the alley.
    
    "What was that?" Akane asked suddenly. The other members of the 
search party strained to listen. Another faint scream could be heard.
    "It came from over there!" said Ukyou, pointing west.
    "Let's go, then," Ryoga said, running off to the east before 
anyone could stop him.
    "Shit," Aaron cursed. "Ranma, Akane, go after him. Ukyou, come 
with me,"
    "Aren't you going to need backup?" Ranma asked.
    "That's what Ukyou's for," Aaron replied. "Hopefully, I can talk 
Gally out of doing anything stupid before Mallory and the cops show 
up. Get Ryoga and catch up with us. If you see any police cars or 
hear any sirens, head back to the house. Get going," 
    The four teenagers split up.
    
    "Gally!"
    She looked up, wondering who had called her name. Coming toward 
her was a young man in a black leather jacket, and a slightly younger 
woman with some sort of large metal weapon strapped to her back.
    Gally stood up, knife at the ready.
    "Who are you?" she asked.
    "We're friends," said Ukyou. "Don't kill that man,"
    "He's a criminal," Gally replied. "He stole something that 
doesn't belong to him,"
    "Yes, but this isn't Scrap Iron City," said Aaron. "This is a 
city called Washington, D.C. We have police to do your job,"
    "No," said Gally, "Police don't exist anymore,"
    "Dammit, Gally," Aaron said, "Just trust us. There'll be time to 
explain later. Right now, all three of us are caught up in something 
very strange, and it will be harder to find out if your sitting 
behind bars in a jail cell,"
    "He's telling the truth, Gally," Ukyou said, "My friends and I 
aren't from here, but Aaron's managed to help us. Trust us, please. 
The man coming after you isn't very nice,"
    "Let me get this straight," said Gally, "You expect me to trust 
two complete strangers who just happen to show up when I'm about to 
do my job, who claim I'm about to become the very same type of person
I've been vowed to eliminate just on their say so?"
    "I know it's crazy," Aaron said, "But if you don't come with us 
now, there won't be any time to explain because we'll all be looking 
at a charge of first degree murder--" The sound of sirens interrupted 
him.
    "--In about thirty seconds," he finished. 
    Gally stared at the two newcomers. She didn't know what to think. 
Ever since she found herself in this strange city, she'd been doing 
her job. But could her job actually be the wrong thing to do in this 
situation? These two certainly seemed to think so, and from what Ido 
had told her of "police", the charge of murder was very serious.
    Yet, the doubts remained.
    "I cannot go with you," she said. "But I would like to find out 
more about where I am and why I'm here. I will spare this man's life 
until I understand what is going on,"
    "Great," said Aaron. Then he got a flash of inspiration.
    "Gally, in this city there is a tall structure that looks like 
this," Aaron used some of the junkie's blood to draw a crude sketch 
of the Washington Monument on the wall of the alley.
    "Meet us there in about two hours, and we'll tell you anything 
you want to know,"
    "All right, but who are you?" 
    "I'm Aaron Miller and this is Ukyou Kuonji. We'll be bringing 
some friends,"
    "Very well, Mr. Miller. I will meet you and your friends there in 
two hours," With that, Gally leaped to a fire escape and rapidly 
climbed to the roof. Then she was gone.
    "Let's get out of here," said Aaron, wiping the blood off the 
wall with his hand. He and Ukyou ran back the way they came.

    In his lair, the Man in the Black Cloak laughed. Bringing Gally 
over was the best thing he had ever done. Admittedly, the American 
had interfered, but maybe that was all for the better. 
    Regardless, Gally's innate Hunter-Warrior nature was sure to 
cause havoc in the real world. But it was time to up the ante.
    The Man in the Black Cloak let his mind wander through all the 
possible worlds, finally getting an image of a tall, thin man with a 
mischevious nature, his attractive female companion and his worst 
adversary, an obsessed man dressed in a trenchcoat and hat.
    "Oh yes," the Man in the Black Cloak said, "They will do nicely,"
    
======================================================================
Next time on "The Great Anime Crossover From Hell!!!":

    Aaron: We've finally got Gally on our side. But Mallory's slowly 
putting the pieces together. Lucky for us, a certain international 
thief has just shown up, bringing his obsessed nemesis with him.

(Cut to a shot of Mallory and Inspector Zenigata argueing while our 
heroes hop a bus.)
   
   Aaron: Unfortunately, our thief has his eye on the Smithsonian.
   (Cut to Lupin III stealing a HUGE diamond.) 
  
   Aaron: Next time on "The Great Anime Crossover From Hell!!!"--- 
   "Faith, Hope Diamond, and Charity!" 
======================================================================
Brought to you by the diseased mind of
Erin Mills (Member in semi-good standing of the OAA)
Mill0622@badger.snow.edu
DETAILED flames, comments, questions and incoherent ramblings 
accepted.