RIGHT! THAT'S IT! 

    Sir Michael of New-Spam, I, the 32nd Bishop of the Church of the 
Divine Spam, have found you guilty of knowingly and viciously using 
bad puns in an attempt to make me look like a raving idiot ! :)
    
    Calculator: That's not too hard.
    
    Therefore, it is the judgement of this court, that you be 
submitted to the maximum punishments for each pun that you have used.

RASPUTIN! Fetch the following implements:

    1) A bucket of soapy frogs.
    2) A battery operated dolphin with inflateable wings
    3) The trunk of whpped cream and cobra venom
    4) Bart the Giant Perverted Turtle
    5) The performance artist who protests apartheid using a bathtub 
full of rigatoni
    6) And, the "William Shatner's Greatest Hits" Album.
    
    Thus shall all those who raise the fury of the most holey 32nd 
Bishop, etc., etc. meet their fate!

                                            ---Erin 2.5
                                            OAA and 32nd Bishop of 
                                        the Church of the Divine Spam!