Sorry.  Thought of one thing you might have done better.

Imagine the impact the story would have if you started it at the shantytown -
describing the characters without explaining why, not even mentioning Mousse
until he showed up for an attack one day, giving the past in small bits...
without revealing the whole story.  Describe this "present" as though it
were there, and not introduce it as the byproduct of armageddon.

Nightelf
Sent the message too soon...
nwl9354@tamvm1.tamu.edu