From: Mink <tempest@ktsabers.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [FanFic] Project Firehawke X Chapter ZERO [Version 3]

I don't propose to comment on speeling and grammar - I'm lousy in those
respects, so I leave that the experts out there.

Don't'cha mean "spelling"? ^_^&

On Thu, 18 Apr 1996 15:15:30 -0700,
 in <01BB2D3A.411B93A0@s40.yab.com>
 "John \"Firehawke\" Peasley" <firehawke@bbs.yab.com> wrote ...


 >Careful examination of the card showed it to have a processor of some
                                                      ^^^^^^^^^
An Inhell 666(tm) maybe ?
(Sorry couldn't resist that one)

Another punster, eh?  I'd like for this to be in the story...

 >His eyes opened to a dark blur. Slowly, everything focused among his
 >vision. A dead metropolis, crumbling, lied all around him. Building
 >after building, shattered, crumbling, lie in silent testimony to the

"...metropolis, crumbling, lay all around him"  I know that the two
words are similar, but in this case you'd use "lay" not "lie."

 >He sprinted to the building and forced the metal door open. The musty
 >smell of an ancient tomb rushed to his nostrils, causing him to wince
 >slightly. Bile rose into his throat, fear threatening to overtake

Small note here, "bile" is a good word to use.  Thank you.

 >passed, the boomer rampages becoming more and more violent. They turned

Question: Is it "boomer" or "buma"?  I've seen it both ways.

 >each of the suits, an idea beginning to take shape. He could take parts
 >from some of the hardsuits here and put together a working suit using
 >the designs on the computer. A determined smile lit John's face for the
 >first time in this world.

Where did he get this kind of knowledge?

Keep at it Firehawke.
Don't you dare stop, or I'll call Foxtrot in :-)

Don't worry, I keep my eyes out for almost all the 'fics on the
list and those on the remailer.

Foxtrot the Furryous, BTFH
...why do you think I'm the Taskmistress?
It's hard work, ya know...