(The Scene: Ukyou's Okonomiyaki shop. Ukyou has just finished cleaning up,
and is now piling her school books on the table to do her homework. There is
a hesitant knock on the door.)
Ukyou : We're closed for homework!
Voice: (Muffled) It's me, Ranma!
Ukyou: Ranma? This late?
Ranma: Can I come in?
Ukyou: Sure!
(She runs over and lets him in.)
Ranma: Ucchan! I'm so glad to see you!
Ukyou: What brings you over here at 9 pm, Ranchan?
Ranma: I just couldn't stay away from you.
Ukyou: (Big eyes) Ranma?
(Ranma leaps into her lap and kisses her. Her eyes get big, then she leans
into it.)
Ukyou: (thought) [This can't be real...but I don't care...mmmmmmmm]
(They hug and smooch for a while, slowly growing more intimate. Ukyou
relaxes, not caring why this is happening, just enjoying it. )
Ukyou: Ranchan...what about Akane?
Ranma: I don't care...only you...It is you that I love. I was a fool. You
are the only one for me.
(Suddenly the wall shatters and we see a familiar red head crash through. It
is Akemi. She grabs Ranma.)
Ukyou: No!
Ranma: No!
(Akemi beats him unconscious and tosses him over her shoulder.)
Ukyou: Akemi! Let him go!
Akemi: Ha haha haha! You'll never have him! He belongs to Akane! I won't
let you have him!
Ukyou: Then you'll have to fight me!
Akemi: Your silly spatulas are no match for my magic. Only magic can stop me
and you don't have any!
(She gestures and Ukyou is frozen in place.)
Akemi: You'll all be my slaves before I'm through! HA HA HA HA!!!!
(She carries off a futily struggling Ranma.)
Ukyou: NO! NO! HE LOVES ME! DON'T TAKE HIM AWAY!
Ranma: Help me, Ucchan...help.
(Ukyou snaps awake screaming.)
Ukyou: NO, AKEMI! DON'T! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!
(Ukyou breathes hard. The clock says 3:30 am. )
Ukyou: That dream...again...why...would she do that...Akemi isn't like
that...but Ranma...said he...just a dream...he loves Akane...not me..I have to
get over it.
A voice: Or you could take the power and take him back...Stop them, stop them
all...especially that girl Akemi...Ranma loved you until she showed up...
Ukyou: That's not true! He...Ranma...
(She starts to cry.)
A voice: IF you want Ranma's love, you won't get it by crying...
Ukyou : LEAVE ME ALONE!
(She sees the bottle of love oil she threw away in episode one. She shrieks
and tosses a spatula at it. It shatters. She really wakes up this time.)
(The clock reads 3:45 am. Ukyou sits in her sweat soaked sheets.)
Ukyou : Ranma...did you ever love me? Was I just a fool all along...Maybe
something did happen...No...I can't listen to nightmares...
*************************
(We see a stone room with a mirror mounted in the wall. A woman? man? with
reddish black hair stares into a mirror, watching Ukyou.)
Person: I am not a nightmare. I can give you what you want. And what I want
at the same time. How to make you listen...hmmmm.
*************************
Furinkan Summer
A Fanfic series based on Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi
Sequel to Ranma--Putting Your Heart in the Right Place
By John Biles
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu
gauntman@triol.dorm.umd.edu
johnbil@wam.umd.edu
With special thanks to David Tai for getting this thing formatted the
right way for me :)
*OMNINOUS THUNDER* sound effects courtesy of Stefan Gagne
Episode 3:
Prom Madness!
Will you dance with me?
"Summer Fields" (by John Biles)
Anger hides a loving heart;
Anger drives us far apart.
Only love can heal the pain,
For your smile brings the rain
That helps love's fields to grow.
Walk with me through summer fields
So we can help our hearts to heal.
Stride through grass and smell the air
Under the sun without a care.
I want to spend my time with you.
We hid our love behind our pride,
Never letting anyone inside.
To end those lies must be our task;
Tear down the walls; Throw out the masks
We used to hide from love.
Walk with me through summer fields
So we can help our hearts to heal.
Stride through grass and smell the air
Under the sun without a care.
I want to spend my time with you.
Love does not end with "I Love You",
Not if what we said is true.
We have to strive to make it grow.
We have to let our feelings show
Else love will fade like dew.
*************************
(We see the senior class council of the class presidents of the senior
sections hard at work planning the prom.)
President 1: I can't believe the Principal actually gave us the money to pay
for a prom!
President 2: Yeah. Didn't even make us shave our heads.
President 3: Yet.
President 4: Well, we've decided on a beach theme, right?
President 2: Yes. And now we just need a DJ.
(The door flies open. The jovial principal marches in.)
Principal: (in English) [Hey! Hey! Hey! It's the Principal!]
(They all stare at him wondering why he did that.)
Principal: Hmph. Well. I've come to announce an exciting new addition to
the Prom.
(Everyone stares in a mixture of fear, despair, and unmitigated terror.)
Principal: This is going to be too much fun.
President 1: Yes. Of course.
(Everyone nods in unison.)
Principal : A dance marathon.
(They wait. He says nothing.)
President 7: That...sounds great.
(Everyone makes yes-man noises.)
Principal: Excellent.
(He heads for the door.)
President 7: That's not bad at all.
(At the door, the principal turns.)
Principal: The winners get to graduate. The losers get to have shaved heads
and an extra year at our fine institution. Have a great day!
(He strides out, singing "You're too sexy to have hair.")
President 6: We're doomed.
President 3: Maybe I can still transfer...
*************************
(We see Kunou hard at work in his room. Well, sort of hard at work. He is
surrounded by his shrine to Akane and the pig-tailed girl. )
Kunou: Oh, my lovelies. How will I ever decide between you? Which of you
shall be graced by my presence with you at the dance? If only I could dance
with two girls at the same time. I should take you both, but then one would
have to wait in awe for her turn when I danced with the other. Choosing is
such sweet agony. Yet willingly do I suffer it for your sake.
(There is a knock on the door.)
Kunou: Go away! I'm soliloquizing!
Muffled Voice: Phone call for you, master.
Kunou: I said go away!
Muffled Voice: All right, I'll tell her you are busy.
Kunou: Her?
(He flings open the door, sending Sasuke flying down the hallway.)
Kunou: One of my lovelies has called me! My heart leaps with joy!
(Sasuke starts to get up, only to be trampled by Kunou.)
Sasuke: Owww...
(Kunou sprints through the house, down the stairs, and across a grand hallway
to the phone.)
Mariko: K-U-N-O-U! Hello!
Kunou: Greetings oh vision of loveliness! How sweet it is to hear your voice.
Mariko: Why, thank you, Kunou.
(Kunou blinks.)
Kunou: (thought) [Who is this?]
Mariko: Kunou? Are you okay?
Kunou: Um...who are you?
Mariko: (wounded) Don't you remember me, Kunou?
Kunou: Yes, yes of course I remember you.
Kunou: (thought) [Who is this?]
Mariko: I hear your school is having a dance.
Kunou: (blinks) Uh yes.
Kunou: (thought) Could this perhaps be one of my beauties trying to hint
that I should ask her to the dance? But which one? And why don't I recognize
her voice?
Mariko: Have you found a date yet for it?
Kunou: I am trying to decide between the grace of the huntress and the
healthy spunk of the red-tressed beauty.
Mariko: (Thought) [He thinks of me as a huntress! Hmm. How to tilt his
decision towards me...] I've been thinking of you, K-U-N-O-U.
Kunou: (thought) [She sounds familiar. Why does she keep spelling my name?]
I...am pleased to know you are thinking of me. Uhmm...Which do you think I
should ask out?
Mariko: (thought) [This is going to be easy.] The huntress of course.
Kunou: (thought) [It must be Akane. But I shall pretend I do not know who
it is. Probably she is fishing for an invitation. Then she shall get it for
her initiative!] Then Akane it is!
Mariko: Eh?
Kunou: I shall call y...Akane at once! Thank you. Good day.
(Click. He hangs up.)
Mariko: That did not go according to plan. Hmm. I remember the Akane girl.
What could Kunou see in such a tomboy? Well, I'll just have to deal with her.
Yes, indeed. I'm going to be Kunou's date. I won't lose this time! I have
twice as much love for Kunou as I did before, or my name isn't M-A-R-I-K-O!
*************************
(Later that day, we see Akane waiting under a tree, looking confused. Ranma
is perched up on a branch, looking down at her. Mariko is lurking higher up
in the tree.)
Ranma: Kunou called you and said he got your message and wanted to talk to
you here?
Akane: Don't ask me, Ranma. I have no idea what message he was talking about.
Mariko: (in the tree--Thinking) [This is a great hiding place. It's a good
thing Hitomi called me when she saw the Tendo girl leaving her house.
Otherwise I'd have never been able to find out about this little rendezvous.
I can't let Kunou ask this tomboy out.]
Ranma: Hmph. Well, I'll just stay and watch, I guess. Ain't got nothing
better to do.
Akane: Besides your tutoring session with Yuka?
Ranma: Eh?
Akane: You forgot, didn't you.
Ranma: What, me forget? Never. Nope, not me. Never ever ever. Er, where
was it supposed to be again?
Akane: At her house! Now go before she comes looking for you again!
Ranma: What about Kunou?
Akane: I can handle Kunou! Go! Go! Go!
Ranma: Okay. But if I hear you scream, I'm coming back.
Akane: The only person who's gonna be screaming is you after Yuka pounds you
flat for being late again.
Ranma: Yeah, like I'm afraid of a girl.
(He takes off towards Yuka's house.)
Akane: (thought) [If Ranma doesn't take his tutoring more seriously, it's
not going to do him any good.]
(Kunou comes into sight. He is carrying a huge bouquet of flowers and a box
of chocolates.)
Akane: (thought) [He's going to ask me out...again. Baah.]
Kunou: Oh my graceful huntress, whose raven tresses sparkle in the evening
sun, who moves with beauty in the night! I have heard your cries of love and
return them, coming to tell you I have agreed to grace you with my presence at
the dance and accompany you through the pleasant hours that shall compose it.
Akane: (thought) [I think he's trying to ask me to the dance...]
(Mariko drops down out of the tree into Kunou's arms, knocking the chocolates
into the air. Akane catches them.)
Mariko: I would be happy to go to the dance with you, K-U-N-O-U!
Kunou: (thought) [Do I know her? She seems vaguely familiar.]
Akane: Have fun! Enjoy yourself! Thanks for the chocolates, Kunou! You
look like you'll be very happy together.
(She takes off running.)
Kunou: (thought) [The fair maiden wishes to be pursued!]
(He tosses Mariko aside and chases after Akane. Mariko lands, rolls, gets up.)
Mariko: Hmmph. Well, it always seemed to work for Hikaru. I may have to
take more drastic measures.
Kunou: WAIT FAIR HUNTRESS! I ONLY WISH TO SHARE MY LOVE WITH YOU!!!!
(They run off out of sight.)
*************************
(The next day at school, we see Ryouga teaching his history class. Various
women are making doe eyes at him while he tries to ignore them. The boys of
the class are busily snapping pencils from irritation at watching the doe eyes
in progress.)
Ryouga: And in conclusion, the crucial event of Japanese history in the 1980s
was the invention of the Nintendo gaming system.
Totahachi Youta: (He is short, thin, and brown haired.) What about Sega
Genesis?
Ryouga: Pshaw. A true warrior cares nothing for Sega Genesis.
Youta: Oh. But the ads are better.
Ryouga: A true warrior cares nothing for advertising.
Ichiwara Sasami: (She is short, black haired and slim.) So true...
(She gazes at Ryouga, enthralled. Nearby, Nabiki is tapping out a death march
with her pencil.)
Nabiki: (thought) [I have to do something about that girl. Ryouga is so
naive he can't even tell she's infatuated with him. Hmmm...]
(The bell rings. The students get up to go to the next class. Nabiki heads
over to Ryouga.)
Nabiki: Ryouga-kun, I need to ask you something.
Ryouga: What is it, Nabiki-chan?
Nabiki: Would you...
(Suddenly half the girls in the class are flocking around him.)
Keiko: Don't forget your dance lessons tonight, sensei. 6 o'clock.
Ryouga: Hai.
Aiko: Don't forget the tutoring session tomorrow, sensei.
Ryouga: Hai.
Michiko: I made you a snack, sensei.
(She drops a wrapped basket on his desk.)
Ryouga: Hai.
Alita: I brought you a snack too, sensei.
(She piles twelve lunch boxes on the desk.)
Sasami: Would you like me to walk you to the history club meeting tonight,
sensei?
Ryouga: I think Nabiki-chan is...
Sasami: I would be honored to escort you, and she's not even in the history
club.
Ryouga: Uh, well...
Nabiki: Don't worry. I'll make sure he makes it to the meeting, Ichiwara-san.
Sasami: As the president of the history club, it is my duty to..
Nabiki: I live in the same house with him.
Sasami: (blinks) You do?
Nabiki: Yes.
Sasami: But my duty remains.
Ryouga: Um, Nabiki.
Nabiki: My duty is to assist him as a member of the Tendo household.
Ryouga: Um, Nabiki.
Sasami: What, you expect me to neglect my duties as the...
Ryouga: NABIKI!
Nabiki: What?!
Ryouga: Your next class starts in 30 seconds.
Nabiki: Uh oh.
(She and all the other girls take off sprinting to class.)
Ryouga: I'm surprised she forgot about that...Nabiki is never late to class.
Well, not this one anyway. Hmm. I forgot to find out where Keiko's family's
dance studio is. Well, I can just get directions. I'll have to go to the
history meeting from the studio...
*************************
(We see Kunou standing at the gate of the high school. He is holding a
battered bouquet of roses and a fresh box of chocolates. Ranma and Akane
emerge from the school building, along with Sayuri, Yuka, Daisuke, and
Hiroshi. Kunou blocks them from leaving.)
Kunou: Saotome, you must be the bearer of glad tidings for me.
Ranma: (blinks) You're going away forever?
Kunou: That would not be good news at all.
Ranma: Could have fooled me.
Kunou: Tell the pony-tailed girl to meet me at the boat docks at the park at
6. I have glad tidings and gifts to her.
Ranma: Yeah, right. I'll tell her.
Yuka: Going to ask her to the dance, sempai?
Kunou: (suddenly sees Akane) Akane! I swear I do not know who that woman
was who showed up when I was telling you I am willing to go to the dance with
you.
Akane: You're not going to ask the pony-tailed girl?
Kunou: Ah, my pony-tailed goddess! So healthy and full of spunk. How she
does make my heart to sing with joy. Yet, I know not if Saotome will
truthfully bear my message to her, so I tell you yet again that...
Ranma: What, you think I wouldn't pass on a message honestly?
Kunou: It breaks my heart that I must put my trust in such a foul sorceror as
yourself, yet I have not found the pony-tail girl in many hours of searching.
Ranma: All right already! I'll make sure she is there.
Kunou: Oh fair maiden Akane, it wounds me not to drive this dog from your
presence, yet I must need tolerate him that...
Ranma: Come on, Akane!
(He grabs her hand and drags her off. The others follow.)
Ranma: (grumbling) Baah...stupid Kunou...
***********************
(We see Kunou heading for the park. He is being followed by a girl in a
cheerleading uniform with a walkie-talkie. He reaches the park and stands
under a tree with flowers and the box of chocolates. We hear a sound of
distant hoofbeats. Finally, Ranma-chan enters the park. Ranma-chan walks up
to Kunou.)
Ranma-chan: You wanted to talk?
Kunou: Fair maiden in red, oh vision of loveliness, it is my duty and my
pleasure to annouce I will be accompanying you to the Prom.
Ranma-chan: I wasn't planning on going.
Kunou: We shall dance the night away, rejoicing in the love we share.
Ranma-chan: I don't love you, Kunou.
Kunou: Our young love climbing the mountain of the future to the heights of
ecstasy! Together, we will...
(A horse gallops into the park. On its back is Mariko. She gallops by and
scoops up Kunou onto the horse, riding off with him.)
Ranma-chan: Eh?
Mariko: Why imagine us meeting like this! What an amazing coincidence that
we should meet on my daily breakneck gallop through the park.
Kunou: Do I know you?
Mariko: Why yes! I'm the one who loves you more than...
Kunou: Wait. I remember you.
(Mariko smiles)
Kunou: You're one of my many fans, right?
Mariko: You could say that.
(Kunou signs an autograph, hands it to her, then leaps off the horse.)
Kunou: I must return to my beloved pony-tail girl!
(He smacks into a tree. Thunk.)
Mariko: Hmm. Time to try a different plan.
*************************
(We see Ukyou at her restaurant. It is the dinner time rush and she is hard
at work. There are tons of customers, ranging from the tall blond fellow in
the corner, sitting with his fiancee, a much shorter girl with brown hair in a
Nabiki-esque hair cut to the deaf old lady in tennisshoes in the back. A
squinty eyed sailor and his beanpole girlfriend sit by one window, while the
other has a flabby housewife and her rather bored five year old son who seem
to be watching someone out the window. In fact the view interests her more
than her food, apparently. Several dozen boring people also are seated at
various tables, munching out.)
Ukyou : (thought) [Wow. This is a busy day. At least I haven't seen Tsubasa
in a while.]
(*OMINOUS THUNDER* (TM))
(As Ukyou is busy putting down plates on a table for a family of five, she
feels something nuzzling her shoulder. She turns and sees a chinese style
wall screen rubbing up against her arm. She slams a spatula through it and
then reaches through the hole, pulling a head into sight. It is Tsubasa.)
Tsu: UKYOU-SAMA! How are you today?
Ukyou: TSU! GET A LIFE! GET OUT!
Tsu: You look as lovely as ever.
(Ukyou winces, picks up Tsubasa and the screen, and carries him to the door.)
Ukyou: AND STAY OUT!
(She tosses him out the door.)
Tsubasa: I ONLY WANT TO GIVE MY LOVE TO YOU, MY UKYOU-SAMA!!!!!!
(He sails out of sight.)
Ukyou: (sighs, thinks) [I wish Ranma would say that...]
(Ukyou indulges herself in a brief fantasy of him walking in, sweeping her
into his arms, kissing her and carrying her off to be his bride.)
Ukyou: I..I can't let myself think like that...He's Akane's now...not mine...
*************************
(We see Kunou chasing Ranma-chan down the street.)
Kunou: My darling pony-tailed love! Don't flee from my affection!
(They round a corner and he slams into Mariko.)
Mariko: K-U-N-O-U! Wanna take me to the dance?
Kunou: Do I know you?
(Mariko frowns.)
Mariko: You really don't remember me?
Kunou: You're that girl who...who...
(Mariko nods expectantly.)
Kunou: Who wrecked my meetings with my loves!
Mariko: Uh.
Kunou: How could you do such a thing!
Mariko: Because I'd like to go to the dance with you?
Kunou: Alas, fair maiden, it is too late. I have already asked both of them
to the dance. And I would not willingly be accounted a two-timer.
Mariko: But you asked both of them to the dance. Doesn't that mean...
Kunou: But I love both of them! That makes it different.
Mariko: I don't mind. I'll go with you and them.
Mariko : (thought) [It looked pretty clear they weren't interested]
Kunou: I will not betray my loves.
Mariko: Please?
(Kunou starts to go. She vaults over his head in front of him.)
Mariko: (doing a little routine) 2-4-6-8-10! Mariko will just have to ask you
again!
Kunou: No.
(He moves. She vaults.)
Mariko: (routine) K-U-N-O-U! He knows just what to do! Please take me to
the dance with you!
Kunou: No.
(He starts to stride off again. Vault. Routine. Denial...They slowly inch
off into the sunset.)
*************************
(We see an old man in brown robes, driving a horse and cart down the street.
Two young chinese girls are sitting in the back with a collection of boxes.
They drive up to the Nekohanten. Lots of people stare.)
Old man: We have found them. Help me to the door.
(The girls help him over to the door. They head inside. Shampoo is busy
serving Ramen while Mousse runs the cash register.)
Shampoo: (in Chinese) <Great-Uncle Shelf?>
Shelf: (In Chinese) <Hello, Great-Grand Niece. Hello, Mousse. We have come
to administer the test of man and womanhood to you.>
Mousse: (Thought) [If Ranma was from our tribe, he could take both. Heh.]
Mousse: (In Chinese) <How long do we have to prepare?>
Shelf: (In Chinese) <A week. You will need to help me find people to fill
the necessary roles. It would have been better to bring you back to the
village, but this cannot be delayed any longer.>
(Shampoo and Mousse nod.)
*************************
(We see Kunou at the front door of the Tendo household. Kasumi answers the
door.)
Kunou: I need to talk to Nabiki.
Kasumi: Come on in!
(She leads him to the living room, where Nabiki is fuming and doing homework.)
Nabiki: Where is Ryouga anyway...
Kasumi: That girl and her parents picked him up for those dance lessons.
Nabiki: Ack. I wish I hadn't had to miss those for that stupid Economics
club meeting...Keiko alone with him for an hour.
Kunou: Nabiki.
Nabiki: Who knows what she might have been doing...trying to dance close with
my boyfriend.
Kunou: Nabiki.
Nabiki: I won't let a little dancing bimbo like her make time on my RYOUGA!
Kunou : NABIKI!
Nabiki: (blinks) Kunou-chan?
Kunou: I regretfully find I have need of your services.
Nabiki: I don't have any fresh photos yet, Kunou-chan.
Kunou: Not that service. I need help dealing with an annoyance.
Nabiki: Why don't you just beat him up?
Kunou: It is a woman. She keeps harrassing me when I try to ask out one of
my loves to the dance.
Nabiki: You want me to get her off your back?
Kunou: Yes.
Nabiki: Hmm. Perhaps you can help me with something as repayment.
Kunou: Hmm?
Nabiki: There's someone I need kept away from my Ryouga. She needs a date
for the Prom other than him. And all these other girls too. I bet with your
influence, you can arrange that.
Kunou: I am already planning to...
Nabiki: Not you! Now here's my plan...
*************************
(We zoom in on the Gozaimasu Dance Studio. Inside, Ryouga is finishing off a
dance lesson with Keiko. Keiko's father, Gozaimasu Sayonara, is conducting a
lesson with some other students while her mother Ohayo is helping Keiko teach
Ryouga. )
Ohayo: This dance is called a waltz, Ryouga.
(Ryouga nods)
Ohayo: It is a three step dance. The basic move is forward with left foot,
forward with right foot, up on your toes. Then back with right foot, back
with left foot, up on your toes.
(She puts Keiko and Ryouga into the proper dance position. The music is a
cheerful piece of eighteenth century classical music.)
Ohayo: Begin.
(Ryouga moves forward one two three, back one two three, then suddenly goes
left one two three.)
Ohayo: Where are you going?
Ryouga: Ummm...
Ohayo: Try again.
(Ryouga goes forward, then back, then forward, then tries to turn around.)
Ohayo: Not like that!
(With much, much drilling, they finally get him to go back and forth.)
Ohayo: Now you will learn to circle the floor. You always go around
counterclockwise. To move forward, you do forward left, forward right, up on
toes, forward right, forward left, up on toes.
(Ryouga seems to learn this quickly. Ohayo smiles, then realizes Ryouga is
going clockwise around the floor, then cutting across the middle, spinning in
place and going back, then wandering off to the left somehow. The other
students working with Mr. Gozaimasu dodge or stop and stare as appropriate.)
Ohayo: Don't you know what counterclockwise is?
Ryouga: Counterclockwise is like this, right?
(He demonstrates counterclockwise motion.)
Ohayo: Yes.
Ryouga: Didn't I do that?
Ohayo: (draws a picture of Ryouga's movements on a handy chalkboard.) You
call this counterclockwise?
Keiko: I think he's doing really well! He hasn't stepped on my feet yet.
And he gets all the steps right the first time.
Ohayo: Yes, but he gets them right in the wrong places.
(Ryouga blinks.)
Ohayo: Hmm. Ahah! I have an idea!
(She lays down a sequence of foot shaped prints on the floor circling the room.)
Ohayo: Just put your feet on these and follow them, Ryouga.
Ryouga: Hai.
(They begin circling the floor. Ryouga goes the right way this time.
Unfortunately, he is running over all the other students because he is not
looking where he is going. The other students dodge as best they can.)
Ohayo: You have to look where you are going!
Ryouga: But when I did that, you didn't like it.
Ohayo: Good point. Hmm. Ahah!
(She drives a stake into the center of the dance floor, then ties a rope from
it to Ryouga. The rope is taut where he is.)
Ohayo: Circle the dance floor, keeping the rope taut.
(Ryouga nods. Things go well at first, but soon it becomes apparent the rope
is wrapping around the pole, causing Ryouga and Keiko to slowly spiral inwards
towards the pole. Ohayo sighs.)
Ohayo: This is going to be a real challenge.
*************************
(We see Kunou browbeating a series of guys, then phones ringing all over
Nerima. One by one, various girls get asked out. Finally, Sasami's phone
rings.)
Sasami: Hello?
Ogura Jinpachi: (a tall boy with ash blond hair) Hi, is Sasami-san there?
Sasami: Hi, Shion.
Jinpachi: Uh..would you like to go to the prom with me?
Sasami: I already have other plans.
Jinpachi: I'll be very sad if you say no.
(We see Kunou standing over him with a bokken.)
Sasami: I'm sorry. Why don't you ask that cute girl Alice?
Jinpachi: Because Kunou is ...Arch urk ow...
(Kunou whaps him in the head.)
Sasami: What was that about Kunou?
Jinpachi: Uh...she's going with Kunou...yeah, that's it. Please don't hurt me.
Sasami: I didn't mean to hurt you. But I'm planning on going with
Ryouga-sempai.
Jinpachi: Isn't he going with Nabiki?
Sasami: Heh. That's what she thinks. Bye, Jinpachi.
(She hangs up. Kunou glares at Jinpachi.)
Kunou: You know the price of failure.
Jinpachi: You jump out my window while I watch?
Kunou: I'm afraid I must visit the wrath of heaven upon you..
(Whammo, whammo, whammo!)
*************************
(Ryouga leaves the dance studio.)
Ryouga: I hope I can make it to the meeting in time.
(Ichiwara steps out of nowhere.)
Ichiwara: I'm here to guide you, Ryouga-sensei!
(She takes his hand and leads him. He follows.)
Ichiwara: (thought) I'm holding his hand. Heh! Nabiki is doomed! He will
be mine! All Mine!
(She starts to laugh maniacally, then walks into a telephone pole. Wham.)
Ryouga: Are you okay?
Ichiwara: I meant to do that.
*************************
(We see Nabiki with her various henchwomen.)
Nabiki: I need all the information you can get on this Mariko the combat
cheerleader character. Why she is after Kunou, who are her allies, what are
her abilities, can she be bought. The usual.
Her minions: Hai!
Nabiki: And where is Ichiwara Sasami right now?
Minion #1: At the History Club meeting with Ryouga.
Nabiki: Oh yeah. I'd better go meet him there so I can walk him home. Grr.
No way am I letting that Ichiwara move in on my Ryouga. No WAY!
(Everyone blinks. She blushes just a bit.)
Nabiki: I finally find a nice guy and everyone wants a piece of the action.
(She sighs.)
*************************
(We see the history club meeting breaking up. Ryouga turns to go, but
Ichiwara is between him and the door.)
Ichiwara: Do you have a date for the dance yet, sensei?
Ryouga: Um. (thinks) Not yet. I was planning...
Ichiwara: Did Keiko ask you?
Ryouga: I'm just taking dance lessons from her, but I...
Ichiwara: Has Nabiki asked you?
Ryouga: Not yet anyway, but I...
Ichiwara: I'm still looking for a date.
(flutters her eyes.)
Ryouga: I'm sure you'll find one.
Ichiwara: No, I mean...you, do you think?
Ryouga: Think what?
Ichiwara: Um. The dance. I mean.
(She begins to falter, uncertain if Ryouga is making fun of her or just not
getting her hints.)
Ryouga: Think what about the dance?
Ichiwara: Would you like to...OOF!
(The door flies open and she gets smushed into the wall by it. Nabiki strides
in and grabs Ryouga by the hand.)
Nabiki: Come on or you will miss dinner!
(She drags Ryouga out the door. It swings back shut and Ichiwara slumps to the
floor.)
Ichiwara: Okay, I need to be more obvious.
*************************
(After dinner, Ranma and Akane are studying. Ryouga is grading papers, and
Nabiki is reading an intelligence report gathered by her minions on Mariko.)
Nabiki: (thought) Hmm. Perhaps I can cut her a deal. After all, there's no
way Kunou's gonna get either of the dates he thinks he wants. I just have to
convince him she is what he wants. Hmm. I wonder if his plan worked.
Probably not. But it couldn't hurt.
Ryouga: What are you reading, Nabiki-chan?
Nabiki: (shuts the folder.) Just studying, Ryouga dear. Oh, I have
something to ask you.
Ryouga: Hai.
(The phone rings. We hear someone get it in the kitchen.)
Nabiki: Would you like to...
(Nodoka sticks her head in.)
Nodoka: Phone for you, Ryouga. It's one of your students.
Ryouga: I'll be right back, Nabiki.
(She nods. He vanishes into the kitchen. She starts studying.)
Ranma: Stupid math. Stupid math. I hate math!
Akane: Stabbing a hole through your page doesn't help, Ranma.
Ranma: What am I going to ever use this stuff for?
Nabiki: Do you always have to whine about everything, Ranma?
Ranma: Eh? What?
Nabiki: Look! No one likes everything they have to study in school! I don't
exactly enjoy math either, but it's just one of those things you have to be
put up with! You can't just be a bum and beat people up all the time and
expect to get anywhere! You want everyone to say, "There goes Saotome. He's a
good fighter, but he was too lazy and stupid to get out of high school?"
Ranma: I am not lazy and stupid!
Nabiki: Then why don't you study and learn instead of whining about it?
Ranma: ...
Nabiki: I thought as much.
(Ryouga comes out, with a little help from Nodoka, who seems to be almost
pushing him into the living room.)
Ryouga: Well, that's taken care of.
(He sits down.)
Akane: Who was it, Ryouga-kun?
Ryouga: Hitomi had some questions about the lecture.
Nabiki: (thought) Hmph. She's after you too.
(The phone rings again.)
Nabiki: Ryouga. Do you have to act as a chaperone, or will you be free to go
to the dance?
Ryouga: I only have to do it for an hour or so.
Nabiki: Good. Then could, I mean would you...
Nodoka: (head stuck out) Phone for Ryouga.
Nabiki: AARGH.
Ryouga: Be right back.
(He heads for the kitchen.)
(Nabiki sighs. She glances over. Akane is leaning against Ranma as she
explains a problem to him. She sighs again. They don't notice. One more loud
sigh doesn't get through either. She gives up and goes back to her homework.)
Nabiki: (struck by a certain thought) I think tomorrow, I should talk to
this Mariko character. Yes, that would be wise.
Ranma: (blinks) The combat cheerleader? Likes Kunou?
Nabiki: You know her?
Ranma: Um. Somewhat.
Nabiki: Tell me more, Ranma.
(He blinks, then does so.)
*************************
(Time has passed. It is almost lunchtime at school the next day. We see
Ichiwara waiting by the door to Ryouga's classroom.)
Ichiwara: (thought) Ryouga-sensei should wander out this door like he always
does at lunchtime. I just hope Ayukawa-sensei didn't notice me sneaking out
early.
(The bell rings. A horde of students pours out, slamming the door open.
Ichiwara gets mashed and slumps to the ground.
Ichiwara: (thought) Next time, I wait on the other side.
(A hand grasps hers and pulls her up.)
Ichiwara: Why, thank you, Ryouga-sen...oh, it's you, Youta.
Youta: (nervously) Um. I just wanted to...ah. Well, would you like to go
to the dance with me?
(Ichiwara blinks.)
Ichiwara: I've already got other plans, Youta.
Youta: You asked Hibiki-sensei to go to the dance with you?
Ichiwara: I have no doubt I'll be going to the dance with him.
Youta: (sad) Oh.
(He turns to go and runs into Nabiki who was lurking just around the corner
listening in.)
Nabiki: I see we have a mutual interest.
Youta: Eh, what?
Nabiki: Have I got a deal for you! Come by my house after school. You want
a date with Sasami. I'm going to get you one.
Youta: But I don't have any money.
Nabiki: (laughs insincerely) Ho ho ho. You know me too well. But this one's
going to be free.
Youta: (nervously) The last time you did me a favor for free, I got grounded
for a month.
Nabiki: Hey, trust me. You think anyone else is going to be able to get you
this date?
Youta: Good point.
Nabiki: Now I have to go rescue my man from a horrible monster.
Youta: Monster?
(Nabiki zooms over to the classroom door right as Ryouga finally finds his way
out. She latches onto him and pulls him right past Ichiwara before she can
say anything, pausing to thumb her nose as they go by.)
*************************
(School is letting out. We see Gosunkugi, Ukyou, Akemi, Ranma, Akane,
Daisuke, Sayuri, Yuka, and Hiroshi milling in a vague herd towards the gate.)
Yuka: Don't forget our tutoring session tonight.
Ranma: Hai.
Ukyou: I thought we were going to study history together tonight, Ranma?
Ranma: I was going to come over after we finish the tutoring. Don't you run
your shop until about nine anyway?
Ukyou: True.
Ranma: It would be kind of hard to study history and make food at the same
time, although if anyone could do it, you could, Ucchan.
Akane: That doesn't sound too hard.
Ranma: You...never mind.
Akane: What? What?
Ranma: So what about this Mortal Kombat movie?
Akane: You were going to make a crack about my cooking! Weren't you?
(Akemi and Gosunkugi smile a bit and head off as the argument becomes more
heated. As they step out the gate, Kunou is waiting for them.)
Kunou: I require your assistance, Gosunkugi.
Gosunkugi: Umm. With what?
Kunou: I must find a way to aid Nabiki.
Gosunkugi: I don't know how to turn lead into gold, if that's what you mean.
Kunou: What?
Akemi: What kind of help do you need, Sempai?
Kunou: Nabiki desires to date with Ryouga, yet the interference of Ichiwara
Sasami is thwarting this. My efforts to find her a different date have not
yet paid off.
Gosunkugi: I'm not going to ask her to the dance.
Kunou: You mistake my purpose. What I require is magical assistance in
getting Ichiwara to go to the dance with anyone other than Ryouga.
Gosunkugi: What a love potion or something?
Kunou: That would be good.
Gosunkugi: I don't know how to make those.
Kunou: Well, is there anything you can do to help me?
Gosunkugi: Hmm. Let's go see if I've got anything useful lying around.
*************************
(We see Nabiki on the phone with Mariko.)
Nabiki: (phone) Okay. You lay off him and I'll get you a date with him.
Trust me. He's no genius. The day I can't outthink Kunou is the day they
bury me.
Mariko: (phone) Are you sure you can do this?
Nabiki: (phone) Of course I can. I promise that one way or another, you will
get to go to the dance with Kunou.
(Nodoka walks in.)
Nodoka: There's a young man to see you, Nabiki. He says his name is Youta.
Nabiki: (phone) Gotta run. I have an idea. I'll call you back with it.
(She hangs up and heads out to the living room, where Youta is waiting.)
Nabiki: My old friend Youta! Am I happy to see you!
Youta: (Nervously) Last time you said that, we both got grounded for a month.
Nabiki: Oh come on, the ice cream was worth it, wasn't it?
Youta: You got more of it than I did!
Nabiki: Yes! But we were the first kids in the city to get that flavor! I
know I was bragging for months about that.
Youta: (smiling a bit) Yeah. It was kinda neat.
Nabiki: Besides, our parents haven't told us not to do this, this time.
Youta: Are you sure? I mean...there's always something unsaid when I deal
with you.
Nabiki: Youta. Youta. Youta. Did I ever tell anyone about the time you
snuck those hornets into your sister's room?
Youta: Eh? I never did that. It was Ito whose sister...Ito snuck those
hornets into his sister's room?
Nabiki: (thought) I must really be letting this get to me. (said) Heh.
Forget I mentioned that. I didn't help him get the hornets, either.
(She whaps herself.)
Nabiki: (thought) Pull myself together. Now.
Youta: You helped him get the hornets?
Nabiki: Let's just forget about the hornets, and get down to business. You
want a date with Sasami, right?
Youta: Hai.
Nabiki: (thought) No accounting for taste. (said) Well, I'm going to help
you because she's been hitting on my man.
Youta: Who, Hibiki-sensei?
Nabiki: Hai. Now here's my plan.
*************************
(We see Ranma at Yuka's house. They are up in her room.)
Yuka: Now do you get it?
Ranma: Yeah, I think so. I'm still not quite clear on what moles have to do
with chemistry, though. Aren't they burrowing mammals?
Yuka: Well, at least you remember some biology. It's a measurement thing,
Ranma.
Ranma: But it seems like such a silly term.
Yuka: You say that about everything.
Ranma: Not every everything.
Yuka: Well, it's almost nine. Time for you to go to Ukyou's.
Ranma: Hai.
(He pauses.)
Ranma: Thanks for helping me study. I think maybe I actually learned
something this time.
(He gathers his books.)
Yuka: (surprised) Umm, you're welcome. Same time tomorrow?
Ranma: Hai.
(He hops out the window onto a fence and sprints off.)
Yuka: He certainly knows how to make an exit.
*************************
(We see Shelf, Shampoo, Mousse, and Shower Cap and Curtain (the two twelve
year old girls) working to set up a bunch of statuary, partitions, rings, and
other odd items in the Nekohanten basement.)
Shelf: It is a pity Cologne is not here. This will make trouble. We need a
female elder.
Mousse: Surely we can send for someone other than the old dried fish?
(Shampoo whaps him.)
Mousse: We don't have either of our parents here, either.
Shelf: This is all a mess. But we must do it. We have waited too long
already. I assumed Cologne would be here. What has happened to her?
Shampoo: Umm.
Mousse: The old troll ran off with Happousai.
Shelf: THE Happousai?
Mousse: The one and only.
(Shelf faints.)
**********************
(We see Ukyou busily cleaning her shop. The last customer has gone home.
There is a knock at the door. She opens the door. It is Ranma.)
Ranma: Hi, Ucchan. I brought some lemonade.
(She smiles.)
Ranma: And some snack food. Boy, am I hungry.
Ukyou: Let me fix you something.
Ranma: I didn't want to make you feed me like you always do.
Ukyou: I like feeding you, Ranchan.
Ranma: I...I know I haven't been around much lately. So I wanted to try and
do something special for you. But this was all I could think of.
(He gets out a box full of various snack foods, some really evil looking
cookies, and a jug of lemonade. Ukyou looks at the cookies.)
Ukyou: (thought) Those look like something Akane might make. But it was
nice of him to bring me food, whatever it looks like.
Ranma: (thought) I wonder if I really should have used so much blue food
coloring.
Ukyou: Thanks, Ranchan.
(She gets out her schoolbooks, grabs some snack food, and sits down. Ranma
does likewise.)
Ukyou: Okay. Let's see. The final is going to cover Japan since the Meiji
Restoration, China from the Opium wars, and Europe since 1500.
Ranma: Yeah. Since we did most of Japanese and Chinese history last semester.
(Ukyou nods.)
Ukyou: I wonder if we'll end up having Ryouga as a teacher next year.
Ranma: Oh, I hope not. I can't believe the principal hired him.
Ukyou: Assuming he sticks around when Nabiki goes off to college.
Ranma: Yeah. Are you planning on going to college?
Ukyou: Yeah. I'm gonna need a business degree.
Ranma: I don't want to go to college, but they're gonna make me. I wanna
teach martial arts, like dad. Well, not exactly like dad...
(Ukyou giggles.)
Ukyou: I can't blame you. Are your grandparents like that? I mean...
Ranma: I'm not sure. They travel a lot, according to Dad. He seems reluctant
to talk about them much. I dimly remember meeting them when I was eight. But
Grandpa trained Dad in all the Saotome secret techniques. But Dad wanted more
training, so he foolishly went to Happousai, and got stuck as his slave more
or less.
Ukyou: Your grandfather wouldn't train him?
Ranma: Grandpa isn't much of a fighter, according to Dad. Pop knows more
martial arts than Grandpa.
Ukyou: What does he do, then?
Ranma: I...I have no idea. I guess I should ask.
Ukyou: So you are going to college?
Ranma: Eventually, I guess. I suppose I'll go wherever Akane ends up going
so we won't have to be separated.
(Ukyou chokes up a bit at this reminder of cold reality. She tries not to cry.)
Ranma: We'll probably get an apartment together or something. I'm not sure if
we'll get married before or after college. I at least want to get out of high
school.
Ukyou: (weakly) Yes, that would probably be wise.
Ranma: Akane isn't quite sure what she wants to do. Theatre maybe. She'll
probably take some business courses since she's gonna have to handle the
financial angles of the dojo unless we somehow get rich enough to hire Nabiki.
(Ukyou is now trying very hard to smile and not fall apart.)
Ranma: I'm good at living frugally, but I'm not used to having more money
than you can cram in your pocket.
Ukyou: I guess not.
(Ranma finally looks up at Ukyou.)
Ranma: I...Ucchan, you're crying.
Ukyou : (wiping her eyes) I must have something in my eyes.
Ranma: (Thought) This is my fault. I made her cry. I didn't mean to make
her cry.
Ranma: Ucchan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't make you listen to me talk about...
that sort of stuff.
Ukyou: (through tears) I...I want you to be able to talk to me, Ranma.
About anything. Even...Akane.
Ranma: I don't want to make you cry. I'm sorry.
Ukyou: Don't be sorry, Ranchan. You had to choose someone. If I wasn't
crying, Akane would be.
Ranma: I should have found a way. There had to be something I could do.
Ukyou: You...You can't win every battle.
(Ranma is tearing up a little.)
Ranma: If only I hadn't let it drag on so long. I just couldn't find a way
out of the situation. I shouldn't have let you all chase me like that. I
mean, it was inevitable with my charm and good looks. But I shouldn't take
advantage of them.
Ukyou: I ...Ranma, do you...
Ranma: Do I what?
Ukyou: I mean. Do you care about me, Ranma? I mean, really. I just...
Ranma: (wounded) Of course I care about you, Ucchan. You're very important
to me. More than almost anyone else I know. I wish I could offer you more.
Ukyou: You know that I...I...
Ranma: (comes over to her) You don't have to say it, Ucchan. We both know
how you feel. I just want you to know that if I hadn't chosen Akane, I would
have chosen you.
Ukyou: You really, I mean, you would, me, I mean?
Ranma: (leans over) You've always been the nicest girl I've known. If I
hadn't already been in love with Akane when you came back into my life, we'd
probably be the engaged ones. Or if Dad hadn't left you behind. I'm sorry
I've hurt you so. Can you...For...for...umm...you know.
Ukyou: (smiles a little) Of course I can forgive you, Ranchan. You couldn't
marry both of us. Someone had to lose.
Ranma: Well, I did briefly contemplate Mormonism.
Ukyou: (laughs) I don't think your parents would approve.
Ranma: I found out they don't actually do multiple marriages anymore, so I
dropped the idea.
Ukyou: You would have really married both of us?
Ranma: Well, I did contemplate it.
Ukyou: Umm. Ranma, can I ask a favor of you? I'll understand if you say no.
Ranma: Anything for you, Ucchan.
Ukyou: I never got to actually...kiss you. I just...I'll understand if you
say no.
Ranma: You want me to kiss you?
Ukyou: Just once. I just wanted to know what it would be like. (pause) I
shouldn't have asked.
Ranma: Swear not to tell anyone.
Ukyou: My lips are sealed.
Ranma: Okay. Just this once.
(He does a quick search of the room, including jumping up and down inside the
garbage can.)
Ukyou: Do you always do this before you kiss someone?
Ranma: Just making sure Tsubasa isn't lurking anywhere.
Ukyou: Good idea.
(She checks the ceiling for clinging Kodachis and other hazards. Finally,
they are both satisfied. They move towards each other and stand nearby gazing
at each other. Ukyou is trembling slightly.)
Ranma: Umm. You ready?
Ukyou: I, uh, think so.
Ranma: Then here I come.
(They close their eyes. Their heads move slightly towards each other, closer
and closer. Then Ranma feels his lips touch...something odd. His eyes snap
open, as do Ukyou's. His lips are on her chin, not her lips, and she is
kissing his nose.)
Ukyou: Nani?
Ranma: Oops. You're a bit taller than Akane.
(He reorients and this time their lips contact. He starts to pull back after
a quick peck, but her arms wrap around his torso. He hesitates, then moves
into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her. The kiss goes on for quite a
while, then breaks for air finally.)
Ukyou: Wow.
Ranma: (blushing) You're a great kisser.
Ukyou: Really?
Ranma: Yeah.
Ranma: (thought) If Akane finds out, I'm dead. As a doornail. Have to
admit that was one powerful kiss.
Ukyou: (thought) He gave me a real kiss. Wow. I thought he was going to
pull away, but he didn't. I wish that wasn't going to be the only one. He
didn't even kiss that well in that dream.
(Memories rush through her mind and she blushes. They stand there for a long
time just staring and thinking, with their arms still around each other.)
Ranma: (thought) One more kiss wouldn't...No! I can't be like that. Much
as I would like to kiss her, this is the first and only time. It wouldn't be
fair to either of them.
Ukyou: (thought) He isn't pulling away. Is he going to kiss me again?
(Ranma finally breaks the contact.)
Ranma: We'd better study.
Ukyou: Hai. Thank you, Ranchan.
Ranma: Want a cookie? I made them myself.
Ukyou: They're mauve.
Ranma: I messed up the food coloring. Boy that stuff squirts easy.
Ukyou: Oh. I'll have to show you how to use it properly some time. And you
don't normally add it to the dough.
Ranma: I was just following that recipe I found.
(He bites into a cookie and gags.)
Ukyou: Are you sure you made these? What other oddities did it have?
*************************
(We see Akane fixing herself a snack in the kitchen. She finds a piece of
paper in the kitchen on the counter.)
Akane: There's my cookie recipie I made in Home Economics. I was wondering
what happened to it. How'd it get left out here?.
*************************
(We see Kunou in the classic "stealth mode" with cloth wrapped around his
head. He and Sasuke are trying to sneak around the Ichiwara house. Sasuke is
clinging to the ceiling with sucker cups. Kunou is simply wearing a black
sheet around his head and his Kendo garb. He is carrying a small black lumpy
bag.)
Sasuke: What are we doing, Master Kunou?
Kunou: The sorceror Gosunkugi has armed me with something that should enable
me to fulfill my bargain.
(They slip into Sasami's room, where she lays sleeping. He puts a little
Tanuki statuette on her dresser. It starts to murmur. They slip out)
Kunou: Now she will do what must be done.
Sasuke: Namely?
Kunou: The first boy that asks her out, she will say yes to him. That should
fulfill my half of the bargain. I just have to send people to ask her out.
(Sasuke nods. They do not notice Sasami overheard the whole thing. After
they leave, she stuffs the statuette in a bag.)
Sasami: This should help me get Nabiki out of the way. Hmm.
******************************************************
(It is morning at Furinkan High. Classes are about to start, we see Sasami
slip past Nabiki into her seat, dropping the little statuette into Nabiki's
carry bag while pretending to adjust a shoelace. It is still murmuring, but
no one can hear it...consciously. Soon everyone is in their seats. Sasami
hehs to herself.)
Sasami: (thought) I'd better let her carry it awhile. I'm not sure how long
it takes to work.
****************************************************
(Later in the day, between classes. We see Kunou shoving a kid towards Sasami.)
Guy: Hey, Sasami. Would you like to...ah....go to the dance with me?
Sasami: No thanks. Oh, and thank Kunou for the nice little statue he gave me.
I've put it to good use.
Kunou: (thought) This could have consequences most foul.
****************************************************
(A little later, we see Sasami shoving her brother towards Nabiki between
classes.)
Brother: I thought she already is dating that teacher?
Sasami: Oh come on. She hasn't asked him yet. And I know you think she's
cute.
Brother: Yes, but...
Sasami: Trust me, she'll say yes.
(Nabiki is chatting with some of her girlfriends as Sasami's brother
approaches. The statuette is still murmuring.)
Brother: Umm. Nabiki-san.
Nabiki: (turns) Yes?
Brother: Um. Would you. I mean...could you. Umm. How about...
Nabiki: Yes?
Brother : The Dance, you see. Umm. Have you asked Ryouga-sensei to the dance
yet?
Nabiki: Yes.
Brother: Oh. I guess Sasami was wrong.
Nabiki: <thought> Wait a second. I haven't asked Ryouga out yet.
Nabiki: Yes.
Nabiki's Friend: I thought you just said you were planning to ask him out at
lunch.
Nabiki: Yes. I am planning to ask him out at lunch.
Brother: You said you already asked him out.
Nabiki: Yes.
Nabiki: (thought) Why am I only saying yes?
(She looks at the clock. Almost class time. She runs off.)
Brother: How strange.
(Sasami fumes and sprints for class.)
**********************************************
(Nabiki remains very very silent in class, but eventually...)
Haruka-sensei: Nabiki, please tell us what is the Gross National Product of
Paraguay.
Nabiki: Yes.
Haruka-sensei: Go on.
Nabiki: Yes.
Haruka-sensei: ...
(Silence)
Haruka-sensei: Answer the question, Nabiki.
Nabiki: (looks really irritated.) Yes.
Haruka-sensei: Is that all you're going to say?
Nabiki: Yes.
Haruka-sensei: Go stand in the hall for being impertinent, Tendo.
Nabiki: Yes.
(She goes out in the hall and thinks.)
Nabiki: Why am I...hey, I can speak normally now.
Nabiki: What happened to me?
*********************************************************
(At lunchtime, we see Nabiki digging through her bag. She finds the statuette
and hears it murmuring, "Say yes. Say yes. Say yes." when she looks more
closely at it. She wraps it in cloth so she can't hear it.)
Nabiki: I will get even. Sasami will pay. With interest.
Ryouga: Pay for what?
Nabiki: Nothing, Ryouga, dear. Oh. Before I forget, want to go to the dance
with me?
Ryouga: Sure.
Nabiki: (hugs him) Good.
Ryouga: I only have to play chaperone for an hour, so if I learn how to dance
in time, I'll have plenty of time to dance with you.
Nabiki: Daddy said he'd teach us to dance.
Ryouga: That should be fun.
Nabiki: He says he and mother used to dance a lot before they had kids.
Ryouga: I think those other lessons I had helped too.
(Youta wanders by.)
Nabiki: Youta. Have I got a deal for you!
Youta: Another deal?
Nabiki: This is part of the first one.
Youta: Hmm.
Nabiki: Be right back, Ryouga dear.
(She leads Youta off. )
Nabiki: Now here's what we're going to do.
*****************************************
(We see Youta dropping the statuette in Sasami's school bag.)
********************************************
(We see Youta call Sasami on the phone.)
Youta: Hey, Sasami!
Sasami: Yes?
Youta: Want to go to the dance with me?
Sasami: Yes.
Youta: That's great!
(We see Sasami looking at a note from Nabiki.)
Note: I know what you did. If you don't go to the dance with Youta, I'll tell
the world you're trying to use black magic on people. Sincerely, Nabiki.
Sasami: (thought) I'll get you for this, Tendo Nabiki. The vengeance of
Sasami is slow but sure.
****************************************************************************
(Later, at the Tendo household..)
Mariko: So how exactly are we going to pull this off? I don't exactly look
much like that pig-tailed girl, you know.
Nabiki: Well, one, I have the pig-tailed girl here to act as a model.
Mariko: You do?
Nabiki: Hey, pig-tailed goddess! Get out here!
(Ranma comes out of the kitchen, looking around warily.)
Ranma: Uh, hi, Mariko.
Mariko: Hello.
Nabiki: And secondly, I have a really brilliant disguise person on retainer.
Ranma: Please tell me you didn't hire Gosunkugi.
Nabiki: I said brilliant, not warped.
Nabiki: He's right over there.
(Points at a couch.)
Ranma: Behind the couch?
Nabiki: Heh.
Ranma: Wait a second. We don't have a couch.
(A head pops out of the couch, rather feminine looking with brown hair in a
pony-tail.)
Tsubasa: Hi, Ranma!
Ranma: Ack! I have to play model for that pervert?
Nabiki: You want the money for your next date or not, Ranma?
Ranma: Hrmph.
Nabiki: (thought) And then I can hold that over him too. Heh.
Nabiki: Well, let's go to work.
Tsubasa: (thought) Now this gives me an idea.
*************************
(We see Kunou meditating in his bedroom/Akane-Pig-tail Goddess shrine. Sasuke
enters.)
Sasuke: The Pig-tailed goddess is here to see you.
Kunou: What?
Sasuke: Your scarlet haired beauty wants to see you.
Kunou: Oh blessed rapture!
(He tromples over Sasuke. "The pig-tailed girl" aka Mariko in a well done
disguise, is right there.)
Pig-tailed Goddess (PTG): Um, hi, K U...Kunou.
Kunou: Ah, this must indeed be a day blessed of the gods. Have you come to
date with me?
PTG: (blinks) Why yes, I have.
Kunou: Then you shall! I will never let the foul sorceror Saotome take you
away from me again!
PTG: (smiles) I think I'd like that.
*************************
(We see Kodachi in her greenhouse, busily watering all the plants and singing
to herself merrily. Kunou walks in.)
Kunou: I have good news sister!
Kodachi: My new plant shipment arrived?
Kunou: No, the pig-tailed goddess shall be accompanying me to the dance!
Kodachi: (flat voice) I am overwhelmed by joy, brother dear.
Kunou: There is only one problem.
Kodachi: She is about to die a horrible death?
Kunou: (frowns) No. I require instruction in the art of dance.
Kodachi: You can't dance?
Kunou: I have had no formal training.
Kodachi: You want me to teach you to dance?
Kunou: Or if you could recommend a tutor.
Kodachi: I think I will enjoy teaching you to dance, brother dear. On one
condition.
Kunou: What?
Kodachi: Get me Father's permission to take Ranma-sama to the dance.
Kunou: He's not a senior and neither are you.
Kodachi: Perhaps you can get him to teach you to dance.
Kunou: (mental image of past games of musical chairs with his father ending in
head shavings) Um. I think I already know the only dance he knows.
Kodachi: (mental image of games of musical chairs ending in her giving father
a knock out flower.) Quite. Well, is it a deal or will you seek instruction
elsewhere?
Kunou: All right. It's a deal.
Kodachi: Then lets start with a waltz.
(She goes and changes the greenhouse stereo to a vienna waltz. She gets into
dance position with Kunou and the dancing begins.)
*************************
(We see the principal in his office at school the next morning. He gets out a
Karaoke machine and starts speaking into it at max volume. It projects his
voice and the music from "Copacabana" across the entire school.)
Principal: (sings. BADLY.) At Furinkan, Furinkan High School, there was a
senior, a senior class. They wanted, wanted to graduate. But they had to
pass the test, or be held back like the rest, at Furinkan...you've got to
dance.
Principal: (also into the mike, not singing, but with music still blaring.)
There will be a dance marathon the day before the Prom. Anyone who fails to
perform to my standards will get a head shaving and be held back a year. I
decided to move it to the day before the Prom so that everyone will be able to
enjoy the Prom already aware of if they will graduate or not. Have a great
day, everyone!
*************************
(We see Happousai and the still youthened Cologne talking to the Juysenkyo
guide.)
Happousai: I need the pool of permanent water.
Guide: I have never heard of any pool having a tragic story of...how would you
make a pool do that?
Happousai: Very tragic story of course.
Guide: You need artifact or something.
Happousai: Ahh. Like the one of the Musk Dynasty.
Guide: Yes.
Happousai: Hmm. I think we have a long trip ahead of us.
Young Cologne: (giggly) Okay, Happy my love!
*************************
(We see Ranma talking to a guy from Nabiki's class.)
Ranma: Come on, give it a try.
Guy: Why are you trying to get me to ask her out?
Ranma: Cause I'm a nice guy, and I know she thinks you're cute.
Ranma: (thought) I hope she does. Hmm. I should have asked her for a few
names before I did this.
Guy: Isn't she some kind of super-intellectual?
Ranma: She likes du...handsome guys like you.
Guy: (struts a bit) Well, my looks are world-renowned.
Ranma: Your e..yes, of course. You'll do it?
Guy: Sure, why not. I need a date. She wants a date. Works for me.
Ranma: Excellent.
(He heads off, whistling a happy tune.)
***************************
(We see Ukyou at work at her restaurant. It is a slow night, and the only
customers are two old men in one booth busily playing Shogi at a rate of about
one move per ten minutes, while they slowly eat. A boy her age enters the
restaurant. He is wearing a purple jacket, a black vest, a purple silk shirt
and black slacks. Due to his slender figure, the outfit is a little loose on
him. Black dress shoes cover his feet. He is wearing a nice fedora, and has
a confused look on his face, reflected in his soft blue eyes. His light brown
hair is tied back in a long pony-tail down to his upper back. He moves
uncertainly, as if he is not used to the way the clothing fits or moves with
him.)
Ukyou: Hello! Welcome to Ucchan's. What would you like to eat?
Boy: Uk...I would like a pork okonomiyaki, please.
Ukyou: Coming right up!
(She quickly whips up the okonomiyaki and serves it with some tea.)
Boy: Thanks.
Ukyou: You here by yourself?
Boy: I came to...yeah. By myself.
Ukyou: Well, I don't have anything to do until some more customers show up.
Mind if I sit here and talk with you?
Boy: That would be great.
Ukyou: (thought) Do I know this guy from somewhere? He seems vaguely familiar.
Ukyou: I'm Kuonji Ukyou. And you are?
Boy: I'm Kur..usawa Hayao.
Ukyou: Nice to meet you.
Boy: Nice to meet you too.
*************************
(We see the dojo has been turned into a semi-dancehall. There is a karaoke
machine and some other music equipment set up at one end of the dojo. There
are series of footsteps marked on the floor and walls. And someone has hung
lights and a disco ball from the ceiling. Nabiki, Ryouga, Akane and Ranma
have been milling around for a while. Genma is fiddling with the music
equipment.)
Genma: Let's see. Attach Wire @@@ to whatever this thing is called RT56. Hmm.
Ranma: I see that correspondence course in electronics from the Sally
Struthers school really paid off.
(Genma flicks a switch and picks up the mike. The lights go out and the disco
ball starts to rotate. Lights kick on illuminating it, shining a pattern of
lights everywhere.)
Genma: A martial artist must master many skills.
(Ryouga applauds.)
Ryouga: Looks good.
Genma: (Thought) I won't mention that was supposed to turn on the CD player.
(The song Staying Alive starts to play. There is a large poof of smoke in the
middle of the Dojo, and Soun steps out of it, dressed like John Travolta from
Saturday Night Fever. Ranma laughs. Akane stifles a giggle. Ryouga just
stares and Nabiki clutches her head.)
Soun: You're going to learn how to get down and boogie with Tendo Soun, Master
of the Disco Arts.
Nabiki: (thought) I'm going to die of embarrassment, that's what I'm going to
do.
Genma: And I'm going to help you work on endurance for the Marathon part.
Nabiki: I certainly don't want a shaved head.
Ryouga: I won't let him shave your head!
Nabiki: Not if I can help it. Well, let's boogie, I guess.
Ranma: Maybe I should just go practice.
Akane: Come on, Ranma. This is going to be fun!
Ranma: Oh boy.
*************************************************
(Later in the day, Ukyou closes up shop. There is a knock at the door. She
pauses.)
Ukyou: (thought) Could it be Ranchan?
(She opens the door. Ranma, Akane, Sayuri, and Yuka are standing there.)
Ranma: Hi, Ucchan. Want to study with us?
Ukyou: That would be great, Ranchan. Come on in.
(They soon get set up, while Ukyou whips up some snacks.)
Akane: Okay. Now who started world war I?
Ranma: Some Austrian guy's pet duck got shot by an assassin.
Sayuri: They started it over a duck?
Ranma: It was some important duck, I guess.
Ukyou: Archduke, Ranchan. Not Archduck.
Ranma: Oh. That makes more sense.
Akane: Yes. Archduke Ferdinand of Austria was shot by a Serbian named
Gavarillo Princip. This lead to Austria delivering an ultimatum to Serbia,
and things escalated.
Ranma: What's an ultimatum?
Ukyou: That's when a set of demands is made on which the demander will accept
no compromise.
Ranma: Ahh. Like any time you talk to Kodachi.
Ukyou: (smiles) More or less.
(Yuka has been staring off into space this whole time.)
Sayuri: Earth to Yuka. Come in Yuka.
Yuka: Eh, what?
Sayuri: What are you daydreaming about?
Yuka: I've got a date to the Prom!
Sayuri: Congratulations.
(Ranma gives a sigh of relief.)
Akane: Hmm, Ranma?
Ranma: I was worried if you would like him.
Yuka: Eh?
Ranma: I said I'd get you a date.
Yuka: Well, you kept your half of the bargain. What are we studying anyway?
Ukyou: History. For the final we have coming up.
Yuka: Oh yeah.
Akane: Next Question. Yuka, when did Japan enter World War I?
Yuka: Sakamoto is dreamy.
Akane: Eh?
Yuka: I'm sorry, did you ask me a question?
Ranma: (thinks) I guess I made a really good choice on who to get to ask her
out.
Akane: Okay, Ranma. Can you answer it?
Ranma: We fought in World War I?
Akane: (rolls her eyes) Yes!
Ranma: You don't have to yell at me!
Akane: I bet you didn't know we fought in World War II either!
Ranma: That's the war where the Tsunami wiped out the Mongol fleet, right?
(Everyone facefaults.)
Ranma: That was a joke! A joke! Of course I know about World War II. I even
read Barefoot Gen.
Ukyou: Any more World War I questions, Akane?
Akane: Okay, Ranma, which side were we on in World War I?
Ranma: The winning side.
Akane: Which was?
Ranma: Umm. The people who won.
Akane: Namely?
Ranma: The side that didn't have Germany.
Akane: The Giant Flaming Wombat Alliance?
Ranma: Yeah, that's it.
(Ukyou laughs. Sayuri stares at Akane. Yuka daydreams.)
Ranma: What's so funny, Ukyou?
(Akane starts to laugh.)
Akane: Ranma, it was just called the Allies. No giant flaming wombats at all.
Ranma: Really? Then why did you...
Akane: Ranma, you really don't know anything about World War I at all, do you?
Ranma: I saw this show called Black Adder once....it had world War I in it. I
think. Or was that the Renaissance? What ever it was, that one guy was
really scum.
Akane: I see.
Yuka: Such beautiful eyes.
(Everyone stares at her. She blushes.)
Yuka: Um. Sorry.
Sayuri: Well, let's go over World War I for Ranma, then.
Ranma: (thought) Maybe next time I won't skip the boring parts of the book.
*************************
(We see Gosunkugi and Akemi walking home together from a study session.)
Gosunkugi: I think we should have headed home earlier.
Akemi: I feel safe with you, Hikaru-chan.
Gosunkugi: (blushes a bit) Thanks, Akemi.
Gosunkugi: (thought) I wish I did.
(They come around a corner and a gang of young punks wearing animal masks is
waiting for them.)
Bat-face: Hiya, wimp. Cough up, or cough up blood.
Horse-face. Hah ha ha.
Gosunkugi: (sighs and digs for wallet) Lemme get my wallet.
Bat-face: Ohhh. Nice girl you've got there. I think we'll take her too.
Akemi: What?
Bat-face: She shouldn't be with a creepy little punk like you.
Akemi: He is not creepy or a punk! He's my boyfriend and I'm not going with
you!
Gosunkugi: I...uh...
Crab-face: Ghost boy wants a fight.
Bat-face: Time for your beating, kid.
Horse-face: I bet she'll look good naked. Hah ha ha.
Bat-face: You'll get your turn. Be patient.
Gosunkugi: (gets...less pale in the face) You...you wouldn't.
Bat-face: You gonna stop us, Voodoo boy?
(Gosunkugi digs in his bag and whips out a hammer and three nails. He runs
forward and drives the nail through the hand of Bat-face leaning against the
wall, pinning his hand to the wall.)
Bat-face: You crazy little punk!
(He slams Gosunkugi to the ground with a fist.)
Bat-face: You'll pay for that!
Akemi: You're the one who's going to pay!
(She launches through the air, feet first, hitting Bat-face in the head. His
head slams into the wall. She rebounds off the wall and head and launches at
the rest of the gang. As Crab-face starts to pull out a length of chain, she
strikes him in the face, knocking him down. As he gets back up, she kicks him
in the groin, sending him down again, moaning.)
Horse-face: You suck, Crab-face. Hah ha ha.
Akemi: Grrrrr.
(She moves in on Horse face, unleashing a flurry of twenty blows. He
collapses, with Hah ha ha, pressed into his forehead in Romanji. The rest of
the gang scatters.)
Akemi: Are you okay, Hikaru-chan?
(She helps him up. Bat-face leans against the wall, his hand still nailed in
place.)
Gosunkugi: Hai. Just a bit of a bruise.
(Akemi kisses the top of his head.)
Akemi: That should make it better.
Akemi: Let's go home.
Bat-face: Don't leave me nailed to the wall, please.
(Gosunkugi pries the nail out of the wall and hand.)
Gosunkugi: May this blow of Iron be undone, before the rising of the sun.
(The hand glows and stops bleeding.)
Bat-face: Ma...Ma...magic.
Gosunkugi: Hai.
(He and Akemi start to leave.)
Gosunkugi: (thought) Wow. It actually worked. Too bad I didn't even think of
trying to use any magic earlier. Akemi had to save me. And she said I make
her feel safe.
Akemi: You sure you're okay, Hikaru-chan?
Gosunkugi: As long as I'm with you, Akemi-chan.
(She smiles and takes his arm.)
Gosunkugi: (thought) Where did she learn to fight like that?
*************************
(The next day, we see Ryouga and Nabiki practicing marathon dance with Genma.)
Genma: Now for the next step of your training.
(He rolls out a pair of ball and chains, attaching one to Ryouga, and one to
Nabiki.)
Genma: Now dance!
Nabiki: With a ball and chain?
Genma: This will build your endurance.
Nabiki: Ack.
(They dance. As Ryouga spins Nabiki about, the ball and chain whips about,
wrapping around his legs. He falls on Nabiki.)
Genma: Hmm. Let me try something else.
(He unattaches the ball and chains, then fills two backpacks with liquid
concrete. He puts one on the back of each of them. Nabiki promptly topples
over.)
Genma: Hmm.
(He consults a book again.)
Genma: Let's try this.
Genma: Start polkaing around the room.
(They start to polka.)
Genma: Circle the room 30000 times without stopping.
Nabiki: Without...
Ryouga: ...Stopping?
Genma: Hai.
Nabiki: Urk.
(They start to polka around the room. Time passes. The sun sets. They have
worn a rut in the floor. Kasumi enters.)
Kasumi: Dinner time!
Nabiki: Dinner. A miracle.
Genma: You have 4,500 laps to go.
Nabiki: ACK!
Ryouga: Food. Please. Help.
(Slowly, he and Nabiki polka by like a stop-action photo sequence.)
Kasumi: Shouldn't they eat?
Genma: Food will only lessen their endurance.
Ryouga: What?
Genma: Well, at least the book says not to eat while doing heavy endurance
exercises.
Kasumi: Like waiting to swim after you eat?
Genma: Yes.
Nabiki: I've already got short hair. What could the principal do to me?
Must...have...food.
Kasumi: I think he is planning to shave all the girls bald.
Nabiki: Must...keep...on...dancing.
Ryouga: Pain.
Nabiki: Pain.
Genma: Only 4,499 laps to go!
Ryouga: Then we kill him.
Nabiki: Yes, that would be wise.
Genma: Uh oh.
*************************
(It is the day of the Dance Marathon. The entire senior class and their dates
are milling about in the gymnasium. The principal steps out.)
Principal: The rules.
Principal: We're going to do this in groups of 50 couples at a time. I've set
up a 26 mile track, starting here. You must follow the entire track, moving
forward entirely in dance steps.
(Everyone moans loudly.)
Principal: Everyone who gets to the end of the track fast enough gets to keep
their hair and graduate. Those who collapse, flunk. Those who are too slow
just get a headshaving. I was going to flunk them too, but the school board
wouldn't let me.
Guy: This is unfair!
Principal: I can just flunk you and shave you bald now if you like.
Guy: Erp. Right. Let's dance.
Principal: I wanna see you sweat!
(He turns on the stereo. It is playing In der Furher's Face, by Spike Jones.)
Principal: Time to boogie!
(The couples groan, and set out in a series of packs of 50 couples, moving to
the beat of a gag record. Polkaing couples, waltzing couples, breakdancing
couples, tangoing couples, mashpotatoing couples, all in a swarm.)
The Principal: I love the smell of absolute power in the morning. It smells
like fun.
*************************
(Time passes. We see a few couples straggle into the gym hours later. Kunou
and Mariko, still disguised as the pony-tail girl, waltz across the finish
line. Close behind them are Ryouga and Nabiki, discoing at a steady pace. A
few other couples are staggering along. The rest are strewn through the
streets and the campus.)
Principal: Very good!
(They all cross the finish line.)
Principal: You all made it. Excellent.
Kunou: I fear that the twenty of us here will be the only ones to graduate.
All the others have fallen.
Principal: It's a pity the school board decided not to actually let me flunk
any of you over this.
Nabiki: What?
Principal: But you all fell for my bluff! HA HA HA HA!!!!!
(The remaining students jump on him and mosh him until he passes out.)
Nabiki: Looks like he couldn't take a dance marathon.
*****************************************************************************
(We see the gang studying History some more.)
Akane: Okay, who can explain the effects of the occupation of Japan after
World War II?
Ranma: Grandpa lost his job.
Akane: And?
Ranma: Umm. We all had to start learning English in schools?
(Everyone moans.)
Sayuri: Hey, Ukyou. Who's that guy I saw you with today?
(Everyone turns and stares. Ukyou blushes.)
Ukyou: He's just a guy who came to eat at the store.
Ukyou: (thinks) Okay. He is pretty nice. And he does keep coming back.
(She sees Ranma eyeballing her a bit oddly.)
Ukyou: His name is Kurusawa Hayao. He's a pretty nice guy, but...will you
people stop staring at me?
Ranma: Sorry, Ucchan.
Sayuri: I'm sorry to embarrass you, Ukyou. I just haven't seen you...umm.
(Everyone falls silent.)
Akane: Shall we go back to history?
Ranma: (looks over at Ukyou) Um. Yeah. Next question.
Akane: What were the effects of the American Occupation of Japan after World
War II?
Ranma: Umm. How about if we discuss wrestling instead?
(Everyone glares at him.)
Ranma: Hmph.
*************************
(The gymnasium has been dolled up for the Hawaiian theme prom. The stage is
covered with sand, and there is a huge roast boar up there along with snacks
and other food. Ryouga is staying as far away from the boar as possible. The
first students have shown up, and the band is playing.)
Ryouga: Bunch of barbarians. Roast pig. Baah.
Coach: Are you Moslem?
Ryouga: What?
Coach: Everyone loves pork. Come on! Have some!
Ryouga: Eating pork is...is...cannibalistic, that's what it is.
Coach: Eh?
(Someone bumps into Ryouga from behind. He turns and glares, then softens.
It is Kasumi in a nice dress.)
Ryouga: Kasumi?
Kasumi: Hi. I'm here to chaperone. Part of my duties as the new
disciplinarian.
Ryouga: What happened to Hinako-sensei?
Kasumi: She's assistant disciplinarian.
Ryouga: How well is she taking that?
Kasumi: Not well.
(We see Hinako stomp up to a young couple, dancing cheek to cheek.)
Hinako: You're dancing too close, delinquents! HAPPO-5-YEN-SATSU!
(She lifts a coin and sucks out their fighting spirit.. They collapse. She
grows to adult size.)
Ryouga: Shouldn't you do something about that?
Kasumi: She just needs to blow off some of her high spirits, I think.
Ryouga: Uh, right.
*************************
(Far off we see Kodachi in a formal dress chasing Ranma across a rooftop.)
*************************
(Time has passed. More students have arrived. Things are picking up. We see
Youta dancing with Sasami, who looks distracted. We see Kunou waltzing
perfectly with "The pig tailed goddess" (Mariko). We see Yuta with her date.
We see Hinako frying various students for trivial rules violations. We even
see the Principal dancing with Ayukawa-sensei. Meanwhile, Ryouga has been
standing around bored with Kasumi.)
Kasumi: Would you like to dance a turn while you wait for Nabiki, Ryouga?
Ryouga: Uh. Yeah. Sure.
(She smiles and takes his arm, leading him onto the dance floor. He gets into
position and starts to disco across the floor with her. They move rapidly,
people desperately clearing out of the way as Ryouga wanders everywhere.
Soon, the crowd simply clears a large open space as they boogie to a
spectacular finish. The crowd applauds. Ryouga blushes.)
Sasami: (thought) He's with another woman. Hmm. Here's my chance.
(She manuevers over to the edge of the crowd as the dancing starts again, then
suddenly swaps with Ryouga and Kasumi. Kasumi finds herself dancing off with
Youta as Sasami takes the lead and polkas Ryouga across the floor. Too bad
everyone else is slow dancing. Bodies fly everywhere.)
Ryouga: Not so fast!
Sasami: Why, Ryouga-sensei. Imagine us meeting like this.
Ryouga: Eh?
Sasami: The way you just pulled me away like that.
Ryouga: Wait. I thought that you...
Sasami: To dance with you. Lead me, Sensei.
Ryouga: Um. Right.
(He takes the lead, and soon they are heading right towards the door. Sasami
gently turns their path so they curve by it. At this point, Nabiki walks in
and sees Ryouga haplessly now heading towards the barbecue pit. She rolls her
eyes and glares at Sasami, who sticks out her tongue.)
Nabiki: What's he doing dancing with her?
(She sees Youta waving at her as he tries to dance through the crowd with
Kasumi.)
Nabiki: Oh ho ho. Pulled a bait and switch, eh?
(She glides through the crowd to Youta and cuts in.)
Nabiki: Gotta borrow him. Sorry, sis.
(She scoots him across the floor, leading. He stumbles, unused to following.)
Youta: Where are we going?
Nabiki: Trust me.
Youta: Eep.
(They zoom across the floor over to Sasami and Ryouga, who is watching his
feet to get the steps right and unaware he is backing Sasami towards the pit.
Nabiki zooms in and matches their speed, then suddenly switches and swipes
Ryouga, popping Youta into Sasami's arms. They dance away, as Youta tries to
save Sasami from the barbeque pit. They end up embracing rather closely over
the pit, almost tipping in. He pulls her back from the edge and smiles at her.)
Sasami: Youta. You...where did Ryouga go?
Youta: Forget Ryouga. I'm your date.
Sasami: Yes.
(Hinako pops out of the crowd.)
Hinako: You two are much too close!
Sasami: No! Wait! This is a mistake!
Hinako: HAPPO-5-YEN-SATSU!
(Kerzap. They collapse and Hinako storms off.)
****************************************
(We see Ranma sprinting down a street. Kodachi is chasing him, and Akane is
chasing Kodachi with a mallet.)
****************************************
(We see Nabiki dancing with Ryouga. She is doing her best to keep him from
barrelling off to Hoboken or into people. We see Hinako zapping various
students off in the distance.)
Nabiki: Ryouga-kun.
Ryouga: Hai, Nabiki-chan?
Nabiki: I...you...we. I mean...
Ryouga: Hmm?
(We see a battered Sasami and Youta dancing nearby.)
Nabiki: It's so nice to have you...I mean...
Ryouga: You're not normally this bashful.
Nabiki: It's such a beautiful night. I...I never thought I'd get to dance
with someone like this. Someone...special like you.
Ryouga: I always thought Akane and I would dance like this one night...
(Nabiki flinches.)
Ryouga: But I see that was a foolish dream. She's Ranma's now.
Nabiki: (a bit of chill to her voice) But I'm not taken, is that it?
Ryouga: I was a fool to throw my love away when I could have been with you
instead. If only it had been you who kissed me, not Akane, then maybe...
(Nabiki blinks.)
Sasami: (thought) Akane kissed him? Hmph. I can't even get to dance with him.
Nabiki: She kissed you?
Ryouga: (blushes a bit) When I was a ...you know.
Nabiki: That's why you fell in love with her?
Ryouga: No one had ever kissed me before. You and Akane are the only girls
who have ever kissed me. And you're the only girl I've ever kissed. My heart
belongs to you now.
Nabiki: Are you sure?
Ryouga: There is no one for me, but you.
(Sasami grrs.)
Sasami: No way. You can't really love her.
Youta: What?
Sasami: (False smile) Nothing.
Youta: Give it up, Sasami. He loves her, not you.
Nabiki: Oh, Ryouga-kun.
(They kiss. As they stop, Sasami and Youta go by. Sasami tries to drop a
stink bomb, but Youta kicks it. It flies through the air and lands in the
Principal's pineapple drink. He blinks, then flees the stench.)
Principal: (to Kasumi) Do something about whoever threw that bomb! You're the
Chief Disciplinarian.
Kasumi: Any idea who is responsible?
Principal: Umm. Someone in the crowd.
Hinako: Hah! I'll find the culprit! I'm the real disciplinarian around here.
(She goes up on stage, grabbing the mike from the band.)
Hinako: Whoever threw the stinkbomb will turn themselves in now, or I will zap
everyone one by one.
(Silence)
Hinako: Right.
(She starts sucking people's chi, then zapping others.)
Hinako: You're all delinquents! All of you! Anyone want to admit their guilt
yet?
(ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!)
Band member: Can I have my microphone back?
Hinako: DELINQUENT!
(ZZZZZAAAAPPPP!!!!!)
Principal: Okay. That was too far. I can't afford another lawsuit today.
Kasumi, rein her in.
Kasumi: Yes, sir.
(She goes over to Hinako.)
Kasumi: Time for you to rest. I'll take over.
Hinako: No! I'm the disciplinarian! You're just a meddler! I'll show you
who's fit for this job! (She whips out a five yen coin.) HAPPO-5-YEN-SATSU!
(Nothing happens. She blinks)
Hinako: HAPPO-100 YEN-SATSU!
(No result. Kasumi smiles.)
Hinako: HAPPO-HULA HOOP-SATSU!
(Nothing. Hinako is getting desperate. Kasumi picks her up and starts
carrying her to the corner.)
Hinako: This can't be happening.
Kasumi: You've been a bad little girl.
Hinako: I am not a little girl!
Kasumi: Now you're going to stand in the corner until you learn how to be nice.
Hinako: What?
Kasumi: (waggles finger) I mean it. Now I have to go help put the people you
zapped.
(She leaves. Hinako pouts but stays in the corner.)
Ryouga: How did she do that?
Nabiki: I think Kasumi doesn't have any fighting spirit to steal.
*************************
(We see Ranma running along a fence, followed by Kodachi who is now carrying a
tuxedo, followed by Akane wielding a bokken, followed by Shampoo on her bike,
followed by Mousse.)
*************************
(We see Mariko, still disguised, dancing with Kunou.)
Kunou: That foul sorceror seems to have fled my presence for good.
Mariko: Hmm?
Kunou: There is no trace of Saotome. Indeed, I rarely go this long without
seeing him. Not that this brings me grief.
Mariko: It is you that I wish to be with, K U..Kunou-sama.
Kunou: You cannot imagine the joy that brings me.
Mariko (thought) I wish I could be doing this as myself. I can't keep up this
charade forever.
(The music ends.)
Mariko: I'll be right back. I need to freshen up.
Kunou: Of course.
(She heads into the bathroom. Nabiki is in there, also freshening up.)
Nabiki: Is it working?
Mariko: Like a charm. I just wish...I could be me.
Nabiki: If it was anyone but Kunou-chan, I'd agree. I hate to shatter his
illusion this one time. I've never seen him so happy.
Mariko: He doesn't have a clue.
Nabiki: Let him have this evening. There will be future occassions to date
him. If he found out you were really Mariko, he might make a scene.
Mariko: Hai.
(They finish and leave. Then Sasami steps out of one of the stalls.)
Sasami: I never realized how many people you've been manipulating, Nabiki.
Well, I'm going to blow the lid off this little scheme.
******************
(We see Ranma running through the dojo, followed by Kodachi who is carrying a
tuxedo, followed by Akane wielding a table, followed by Shampoo on her bike,
followed by Mousse, followed by Ukyou.)
******************
(We see Kunou dancing with Mariko. Sasami stomps over.)
Sasami: Kunou.
Kunou: I have not time to shine my munificence upon you, Ichiwara. Save it
for another day.
Sasami: Kunou, Nabiki has pulled a con job on you.
Kunou: What?
Sasami: She..
(Her voice is overridden by Kasumi at the microphone.)
Kasumi: The perpetrator of the stink bomb has been apprehended.
(Sasami blinks.)
Kasumi: Witnesses saw him kick it into our Principal's beverage. And he
confessed to the dirty deed. He is to be expelled from the Prom as his only
punishment.
Sasami: Youta...
(Kasumi starts to escort Youta out. Sasami looks at Kunou, looks at Youta,
curses and runs after Youta.)
Kunou: How odd. Oh well, the mind of peasants is a mystery to me. Let us
dance.
Mariko: (pulls herself together) Kunou-sama. I have something to tell you.
********************************************
(We see Mousse running along a fence, followed by Shampoo who is now carrying
a tuxedo, followed by Ranma wielding a bokken, followed by Akane on a bike,
followed by Kodachi who is weilding a spatula, followed by Ukyou. They stop
and stare at each other in confusion.)
********************************************
(The dance is winding down. We see Ryouga and Nabiki standing out in front of
the Gym looking up at the night sky.)
Ryouga: I love looking up at the stars.
Nabiki: Why?
Ryouga: No matter how lost I get, the stars are always there. I might see
different ones, but they're the one thing I can't lose.
Nabiki: Now you have two things you can't lose.
Ryouga: (smiles at her) We're going to stay together forever, aren't we?
Nabiki: I've invested too much in you to let go of this asset easily.
Ryouga: Is that a yes?
Nabiki: (Smiles) Yes.
(They kiss.)
*****************************************
(We see Kunou and a now de-disguised Mariko walking together under the stars.)
Mariko: I'm glad you're not angry with me.
Kunou: How can I deny a love so fervent as to go to such lengths? I shall
gladly date with thee.
Mariko: Thank you, Kunou-sama.
Kunou: There is plenty of room in my heart for three.
(Mariko frowns)
Kunou: But for now, there is only us, and the stars above. It is a night for
love and the sharing thereof.
Mariko: Hai.
(She leans in and kisses him. He faints.)
Kunou: (thought) Oh, the fires of heaven burn me with joy!
(Thunk.)
***************************************************
(We see Sasami walking home with Youta.)
Youta: You didn't have to come, Sasami. You could have stayed.
Sasami: I couldn't. I mean. Not after you took the fall for me. It was the
least I could do.
Youta: I never even got to really slow-dance with you, like I wanted to.
Sasami: Why did you do it?
Youta: Do what?
Sasami: Take the fall?
Youta: I...uh...you...
(He blushes.)
Youta: It's really stupid of me, but...I like you.
Sasami: You mean...like...
Youta: Yeah.
Sasami: It is really stupid of you.
(Youta winces. She flinches.)
Sasami: I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you know I like someone else.
Youta: I just can't help myself.
Sasami: Me neither. I mean...with Ryouga-sensei.
Youta: (smiles wanly) At least we have something in common. Even if it is
stupidity.
Sasami: (smiles back) I never said I hate you. I just don't feel that way
about you.
Youta: I...Can I ask one thing?
Sasami: Sure.
Youta: May I have one more dance with you?
Sasami: Of course you can.
(They dance slowly under the moon and the stars to a tune erupting from a
nearby disco, "Let's go to Pieces Together".)
*****************************************
(Far away, we see a pair of aged silhouttes standing on a balcony watching the
night sky. The old man points to a falling meteor.)
Old Man: Make a wish on a falling star?
Old Lady: I think I wish to see my grandson again. It's been so long.
Old Man: Your wish is granted. Should we mail him and say we are coming?
Old Lady: Do you seriously think he will still be there if we do that?
Old Man: Good point. A surprise visit it is, then!
Old Lady: He never writes home.
Old Man: We don't have a home for him to write to.
Old Lady: Good point. Shall you carry off the towels from our suite, or shall
I?
Old Man: I think I won't have room to fit it in with the silverware.
Old Lady: Oh, to see my beloved son again. It's been what, ten years?
Old Man: Some days, I think everything happened ten years ago. Other days,
I'm sure.
The End of Furinkan Summer 3...
John Walter Biles : MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu http://falcon.cc.ukans.edu/~ranma/falcon.html
http://www.dhp.com/~wraven/john/index.html
"All dressed up and no place to go...but Oblivion!", "That's so
sweet...I'm getting cavities!", "Welcome to hell, Sailor Moon!"--Queen Beryl