Subject: The Nameless Saga - Part 7
From: "Mike W. Loader" <mloader@scs.unr.edu>
Date: 5/10/1996, 11:42 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

   Anyone home out there? I've hardly gotten any mail at all today...
   Anyway, here's the long delayed seventh episode of Nameless. One more
to go, and I'm free! Free! If you're new to the ML and missed the first 6,
send me a note and I'll mail 'em off to you. Otherwise, you might be a bit
confused as to what all is going on.
   Nameless is a pure comedy piece with no dark elements at all, beyond a
bit of relationship building. Those looking for sadfics should go
elsewhere.
   Nameless 8 will be released one of these days, probably within a month
or so.
   C&C is good. Very good. Thanks. :)
------------------------------------------------On with the show----------
                                    __
            _           ___.-.__   /_ |
         _ / \    _    (___   __)   | |
        | |\_/   / `   (___   __)   |_|
        | `--.  /  /_   .--` '-.  =======
        `---. |/     ) | .-. ._ \  .---.
        .---' /  /-. `-. `-' | `' (_.-. |
        `----'`-'  `---'`---'        .'.'
                                   .'.'_
                                  (_____)        The Nameless Saga
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Characters and Backstory by Rumiko Takahashi-MegaSan. Ranma = Hers, okay?
The Fanfic is the fault of Michael Loader. So there
-----------------------------------------Episode 7 - China Beach---------

(We zoom in on the lifeboat. Ranma-chan is floundering in the 
water a few feet away, her eyes trying to focus on the rather 
large shark bearing down on her.)

Genma-panda: (via sign) My poor son! How am I going to explain 
this to Nodoka?

Soun: (crying) Who'll take over the dojo now?

Ranma: (finally focusing on the shark) Oh shit......

(He awkwardly tries to come into a fighting position. The shark 
shoots forward like a torpedo, and suddenly dives when it is only 
a few feet away from him.)

Ranma: (panicked) Huh? Where is it?

Akane: (covering her face) I can't watch!

(The shark erupts from beneath the water, right under Ranma. But 
instead of catching him in its jaws, it comes up between his legs 
and begins to carry him towards the lifeboat.)

Ryoga: What's it doing with him?

Akane: (looks up) Is he....huh?

(The shark carries the still dazed Ranma over to the side of the 
lifeboat, and then dives. Everyone hurriedly pulls him into the 
boat.)

Ukyo: Oh Ranchan! You're safe!

(She throws her arms around him. Akane's expression darkens, but 
she is too shaken and relieved to comment.)

Ranma: (uncomfortably) Um, thanks Ucchan, uh, excuse me....

(He slowly disentangles himself)

Ryoga: I was always under the impression that standard procedure 
for sharks that find struggling humans was to eat them.

Ranma: Yeah, I don't think sharks normally play lifeguard. Not that 
I'm complaining.

(The shark surfaces in front of the lifeboat.)

Ukyo: (darkly) Maybe it just wanted all of its snacks in one place.

Ryoga: It isn't getting me without a fight!

Ranma: (sarcastically) Boy, that water looks cold....wish we had 
P-chan here. That thing might leave us alone if we tossed it some 
bacon.

Akane: Don't talk that way about P-chan!

(The shark is staring at them with a rather impatient look.)

Soun: It seems to be waiting for us to do something.

Ukyo: (exasperated) Do what? Feed it? Talk to it? Sing to it?

Ranma: Hey! You throw me to the sharks without a second thought, 
and then you get upset when I suggest tossing that waddling little 
potential sausage to it?

Akane: (not sure whether to be sorry or angry) How was I supposed 
to know there were sharks around?

Ryoga: It's coming closer...

Ranma: Don't you know anything about the ocean? A ship gets 
blown to bits, of course there are gonna be sharks! Trust a tomboy 
like you to...

Soun: (breaking in) Not in front of the shark, children.

(The shark latches on to the bow of the lifeboat with its teeth.)

Ryoga: (gulps) It's going to eat the boat! We're done for!

(The shark begins to swim backwards, pulling the boat along with 
it.)

Akane: (puzzled) What is it _doing_?

Ukyo: It's probably taking us home to meet mother.

(The shark stops pulling, and goes limp for a second, as if 
resting.)

Ranma: This is not your normal, everyday huge killer shark.

Ryoga: What I wouldn't give for a harpoon.

(The shark gives a very human glare at Ryoga.)

Ukyo: Call me crazy, or strange, but I think it understood what you 
just said.

Soun: Crazy.

Genma: (via sign) "Strange."

Ranma: I think she's right....

Akane: (skeptical) How could it understand us? It's just a dumb 
animal.

Ranma: Akane, how many times has P-chan gone after me when 
I've insulted him?

Akane: (faltering) Okay, but P-chan's different from most 
animals...

Ranma: (grinning) You don't know the half of it.

(Ryoga elbows him.)

Akane: ...and he's probably set off more by your tone than anything 
else. Besides, Ranma, you could irritate a brick wall.

Ranma: You would know, being built like one.

Akane: (blue aura on) Why you stupid, pigheaded...

Ranma: No, that's Ryoga.

Akane: Leave Ryoga out of this! HE would never say that kind of 
thing to me!

(A look of bliss spreads over Ryoga's face.)

Ranma: (angry) So you like Ryoga, is that it? That directionally- 
challenged idiot?

Ryoga: (snapping out of blissful state) What did you call me!

Akane: (Icily) What exactly are you implying?

(Soun and Genma give each other despairing looks.)

Soun: (on the verge of tears) Unending weeks in a lifeboat with 
this....I must have died and gone to Hell. Yes, that's the only 
sensible explanation. 

(He bursts into tears. Genma looks at him sympathetically, and 
pats him on the back.)

Genma: (via sign) "At least the shark's quiet."

(Scene changes to the bridge of the Searose. Kodachi, Shampoo, 
and Sasuke have just finished extinguishing the control panel 
fire.)

Sasuke: That should do it, Mistress-Captain Kuno. We've lost a few 
minor things like steering and dive control and speed, but other 
than that we're fine.

Shampoo: Ranma! Did torpedos hit?

(Kodachi rushs over to the periscope, and peers through it for a 
while.)

Kodachi: The ship seems to have sunk, but I see a lifeboat out 
there. There's a flash of red that looks like that shirt he's always 
wearing. (she shivers) I just love that shirt....

Shampoo: Did we get hussys?

Kodachi: I can't tell....the boat's too far away. We can always hope. 
But the important thing is, we've succeeded.

Shampoo: (puzzled) What you mean, Ko-chan?

Kodachi: They'll never make it to China in that lifeboat fast 
enough to get the cure to Nabiki. She'll die a nice, painful death, 
and we'll have our revenge.

Shampoo: (grinning) When you right, you right. I kill those bimbos 
anytime I want, but Nabiki is special case. Cannot defeat her in 
power mode, no honor in killing her when she her pathetic, 
moneygrubbing self. 

Kodachi: Good. We _have_ to go on these little outings more often. 
Mr. Sasuke, bring the ship about and return to Tokyo.

Sasuke: The engine room is sending someone up to see about the 
controls. Until then, we'll just have to wait.

Kodachi: (pleasantly) Tell the engine room that we will get 
underway in ten minutes. Or I will have a, (significant pause) chat 
with them.

Sasuke: (pale) Yes, Mistress-Captain Kuno!

Kodachi: (to shampoo) Men. You've just got to learn how to train 
them.

Crewman: Captain, the guard at the hatch is calling. Should I put it 
on speakers?

Kodachi: Go ahead.

(Crewman flips a switch)

Guard: (over speakers) ...You'd better tell the psycho serving as 
captain to get down here...

(Everyone on the bridge makes sure to look at something other 
than Kodachi.)

Kodachi: (frigid tone) The "psycho" is receiving you loud and clear. 
What seems to be the matter, _dear_?

Guard: *gulp* Ah, captain, haha, um, I, well, just a joke, you 
know...

Kodachi: (thinly) Quite amusing. Now, you were saying?

Guard: Uh, something's chewing through the hatch.

Everyone: WHAT?

Guard: I can hear the gnawing, and the metal's beginning to give 
way...

Kodachi: Sasuke! Surface the ship!

Sasuke: Engine room's working on it now, Mist-

Guard: It's coming through! It's...oh, kawaii! What a cute little 
kitty! Here kittAARRGGGGUUUUGGGHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT 
AGGUUUUHHGHGHHBHB......

(Static pours from the speakers. Everyone exchanges uneasy 
glances.)

Kodachi: (hesitantly) Hello, hatch station? Come in? Hello?

(Static.)

Shampoo: (furrowing her brow) He say "Kitty"? That perhaps 
Japanese slang term for "Huge death-dealing horror from watery 
hell at bottom of sea"?

Kodachi: Not to my knowledge.

Crewman: Report from the forward wardroom, Captain!

Kodachi: (snapping) On speakers!

Wardroom: (over speakers) ...can't hold it! My God, it got Kari! The 
cat! It bit his head clean....(crashing noise, screams in the 
background)....Bullets won't stop it! Bullets won't stop it!

Kodachi: Excuse me. Is this a cat you're talking about? Four legs, 
size of a breadbox? Frequently domesticated by humans, and kept 
as pets?

Wardroom: That may be what it looks like, kind of kawaii actually, 
but its (meowling noise is heard in background) 
AYUGGGGAAAAUUGGHHHH!!!GET AWAY! GET AW...(static)

Shampoo: Silly men, scared of tiny Mao. Come, Ko-chan, we go beat 
silly kitty into a pulp.

Kodachi: (dubiously) Dear, are you sure this is a good idea?

Shampoo: It just a little kitty! How much trouble it make?

Crewman: Captain, the men in the forward companionway report 
that grenades only seem to make it mad, and are requesting that 
we send down a rocket launcher

Kodachi: (grimly) Come on, then. There's more than one way to 
skin a cat.

Shampoo: Forget skinning, just chop cat into little cat bits.

(Scene changes to the lifeboat. The shark has a lasso-like rope 
attached above it's fins, and is tugging the boat along at a rapid 
pace. Soun and Genma sit in the back of the boat, playing Shogi on 
a crudely marked board with driftwood pieces. Everyone else 
seems to be locked in permanent facefault mode, staring at the 
shark.)

Ranma: This is _not_ normal. I'm fairly sure that most sharks 
can't tie square knots.

Ryoga: (somberly) This bodes ill. Cats that act like rabid 
wolverines, sharks that rescue humans and are highly proficient 
in the proper use of ropes....a great evil is undoubtably afoot.

Ukyo: You would rather the shark ate us? C'mon, Ryoga, cheer up. 
We're almost to dry land! (she gestures at a rapidly approaching 
coastline) With any luck, that might be this Varaiyah place.

Ryoga: Maybe. But I still think that it's not eating us is all part of 
an elaborate plot to lure us to our deaths.

Ukyo: (kindly) Ryoga, what color is the sky in your world?

Akane: Well, I think its very nice of it to give us a lift like this. It 
almost makes you wonder if sharks might normally be nice, 
peace-loving, gentle creatures.

Ranma: Akane, nature builts things for a purpose. What purpose do 
you think a lightning-fast behemoth with a mouthful of razor 
sharp teeth was designed for, flower arraigning?

Akane: The one out there certainly seems helpful enough.

Ranma: Yeah, well, I've got an idea about that one....Ucchan, is 
there anything left to eat?

Ukyo: Depends. How do you feel about seaweed?

Ranma: Fine. Love it.

Ukyo: Good, cause that's all that's left. Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome 
finished off the other rations while you and Ryoga were having 
your little discussion.

(Ranma glares at Genma, who pointedly ignores him.)

Ukyo: Anyway, here's your share.

(She hands him a rope of greenish-yellow seaweed. The word 
"putrid" comes to mind upon viewing it.)

Ranma: (dismayed) What's this!?

Ukyo: Seaweed.

Ranma: (anguished) You got this out of the ocean, didn't you!

Akane: (snidely) That's where seaweed comes from, Ranma.

(Ukyo smiles at that.)

Ranma: Suddenly I'm not really hungry anymore.

(Scene changes to a corridor on the Searose. Kodachi and Shampoo, 
their clothing shredded [No, you Hentai, not _that_ shredded.], are 
running frantically down it. Blood is streaming from several nasty 
cuts and gashes, and they have a look of panic to them.)

Shampoo: Keep running, Ko-chan, it right behind us!!!

Kodachi: (dazed tone) The cat....it can't be a cat. A devil from hell 
stalks this ship!

Shampoo: Cat, devil, who care! It bite Bonbori in half, then eat it!

(A snarling meow is heard behind them, along with some 
screaming.)

Kodachi: (glancing back) It stopped to gnaw on the cook. Turn left 
at the next passageway.

Shampoo: Where we go?

Kodachi: Lifeboat. I hate to abandon ship, but I'm not, repeat, NOT 
going to take on that fuzzy little horror again.

Shampoo: Kind of kawaii, actually...

(Sasuke dashes out of a side hall.)

Sasuke: Mistress Kuno! Thank God you're okay! Someone said the 
cat ate you!

Kodachi: That's ridiculous. Have the man diciplined.

Sasuke: Um, I can't, Mistress. The cat ate him.

Kodachi: (shaken) Oh. We'll let him off with a warning, then.

Shampoo: Is lifeboat much further?

Sasuke: You're heading for the lifeboat?

Kodachi: (rolling her eyes) Yes, I know, death before dishonor, 
down with the ship....

Sasuke: Ah, haha, no, but I think...I mean....well, there's something 
you should know, Mistress Kuno...

Shampoo: Cut to chase, stupid man.

Sasuke: We forgot to install the lifeboat. Sorry.

Kodachi: (screaming) YOU WHAT!!!!!!!

Shampoo: (shrill) We stuck on submerged sub with stupid men and 
cat-devil? With no way out?

Sasuke: I suppose this is a bad moment to discuss my salary?

Kodachi: Okay. Let's not panic.

(A hideous gurgling scream is heard behind them.)

Kodachi: Well, okay, panic. But let's be orderly about it. Head for 
the bridge. We'll lock the door and train a flamethrower on it.

Shampoo: You really think that work, Ko-chan?

Kodachi: Not really. But unless you have a better idea...

Sasuke: (glancing back) Oh dear. Here it comes again.

(Scene changes to a beach surrounded by a forest. The lifeboat has 
been pulled up on the shore, and Ranma and Co. are sitting around a 
campfire made of driftwood and branches. We can see the shark 
just offshore, looking anxiously at the group.)

Ranma: Is the hot water ready?

Ukyo: One second, Ranchan. Be patient.

Akane: That'll be the day.

Ranma: Oh sure, and you're a model of...(with unusual restraint, he 
stops.)

Ukyo: (slightly concered) Is something wrong, Ranchan? You seem 
a bit jumpy.

Ranma: There's something familiar about this place...

Ryoga: You feel it too? I'm sure I've been here before, but I can't 
quite place it.

Genma: (via sign) "It's just a beach."

Ranma: Maybe. Still, I have this feeling....

(He exchanges a glance with Ryoga, and then makes a slight 
gesture towards Akane. Ryoga nods, catching his meaning, and 
moves between her and the forest.)

Ukyo: Water's done.

(She pours a bit on Ranma, and then some on Genma. Ranma stops 
her before she can pour all of it, though.)

Ranma: Hold on a sec, Ucchan. I need your help with something.

Ukyo: (pleased) With what?

Ranma: Help me drag the shark up onto the beach.

(Ukyo stares at him.)

Ranma: Okay?

Ukyo: (measured tones) Ranma, I don't think the shark would like 
that. It might get upset. Do we really want to make something 
with that set of jaws mad?

Ranma: Trust me, Ucchan, it won't be upset. I know what I'm doing.

Ukyo: It's an awfully big shark....

(Ranma bats his eyes at her for a second.)

Ukyo: (relenting) Well....okay. But be careful.

(They wade into the surf. Ranma changes back.)

Ranma-chan: Damn! Should have thought of that before...

(The shark swims over, in a friendly manner. Ukyo and Ranma bend 
down, hesitantly grab it on each side, and begin to haul it onto the 
shore. The shark seems to be having trouble breathing, but is not 
resisting. They pull it up onto the beach.)

Ranma: Now to test my theory.

(He grabs the cup of hot water and pours a bit on the shark. Steam 
hisses up, and he suddenly finds himself facing Shinshiro Kuga. 
Facefaults all around.)

Ranma: (pleased) I knew it!

Kuga: (slightly embarrassed) Um...anyone have a blanket, or a big 
leaf, or...?

(Ukyo, her eyes averted, gets a blanket from the lifeboat and 
tosses it to him.)

Kuga: Thanks, girl.

Akane: I take it you've been to Jusenkyo?

Kuga: Yes, in my youth. I was guiding a group of smugg...er, 
independant businessmen through the area. We stopped to rest, I 
decided to take a bath, and had the #&%$@# fortune of choosing 
Spring of Drowned Shark.

Genma: (skeptical) How can a shark drown?

Kuga: (confused) Y'know, that never occured to me...

Soun: What was a shark doing at a inland training ground in the 
first place?

Kuga: Hey! I just fall in 'em, I don't make 'em up. Anyway, the 
Guide fished me out after some coaxing, and changed me back. I 
kept away from water after that, but....well, after a few years of 
living with the curse you begin to get these feelings....

Ranma and Genma: Feelings?

Kuga: (shrugs) I just had to go to sea. I think I would have gone 
mad if I had stayed on dry land.

(The two exchange nervous looks.)

Akane: Well, thanks for pulling us to shore.

Kuga: (shrugs) You hired me to bring you to Varaiyah, and that's 
what I did.

Ranma: That's where we are? Varaiyah?

Kuga: Yep. The castle of the Warlord should be only a few miles to 
the west.

Soun: Wonderful! Surely this Warlord person would know where 
this Temerrit herb grows, wouldn't he?

Kuga: Probably, but I don't think you want to ask him..

Soun: Nonsence! I'm sure he'll understand....my darling 
girls....(fresh spate of tears)

Ukyo: (to Akane) Has he ever considered getting professional help?

Kuga: Go if you want, but I'm staying here with the boat. Maybe I 
can rig a sail or something...

Genma: I'll help you. Good luck, son. Hope you find the herb.

(Soun stops crying long enough to whack Genma over the head with 
a branch.)

Ranma: (firmly) Come on, old man.

Genma: (whining) But...

(Soun glares at him. If looks could kill, Genma would have to be 
carried home in a basket.)

Genma: (grumbling) Okay...

Akane: Wait a minute. Where's Ryoga?

Ukyo: I saw him wander off into the forest. I think he had to, uh, 
you know...

Ranma: Great. He's probably in Tibet by now.

Akane: Should we wait for him?

Soun: There's no time. We have to get that herb back to Japan 
before....(sobs)

Ukyo: (to Akane) I know a really good psychiatrist who specializes 
in obsessions and emotional disorders, he could probably do 
wonders for the poor guy...

Ranma: Well, no sense in just standing here. Let's go!

Genma: *moan*

(Scene changes to the middle of a forest. Ryoga, lost, is 
wandering aimlessly.)

Ryoga: Let's see...moss always grows facing the southeast....or 
was it southwest.... I knew I shouldn't have gone out for sight of 
camp! It must be all Ranma's fault!

(He hears the sound of conversation up ahead.)

Ryoga: (overjoyed) At last! AKANE! OVER HERE!

(Four men wearing ancient Chinese armor emerge from the 
forest.)

Warrior: What's that nois....YOU!

Ryoga: YOU! Damn, I thought this place looked familiar....

Warrior: Take the blaspheming dog!

(The four each pull a tea leaf from a pouch, swallow it, and 
charge. Ryoga grimly draws his umbrella and waits.

   Scene changes to Ranma and Co. making their way up a 
mountainside. A steep mountainside.)

Genma: (panting) Can't we stop for a bit? A short rest, maybe a 
snack or two to renew our strength?

Soun: (also panting) Shut up and climb, Saotome.

Ranma: A few miles, Kuga said. Forgot to mention that it was a 
few miles straight up!

(They crest the top of the mountain, and stop dead. Situated atop a 
peak to the south is a titanic fortress of greenish stone. A bridge 
connects their peak to the fortresses, providing the only means of 
enterance.)

Ukyo: That must be the place, unless private homes are a lot 
fancier over here.

(Ranma is staring at the fortress in shock.)

Akane: Ranma: The dream again?

Ranma: (dazedly) Yeah, it just came true. That's the castle I saw 
in my dream. There's a hall inside, with a figure seated atop a 
great throne....

Soun: That's nice, Ranma. Come on, let's find this Warlord fellow.

(They cross over the swaying, precarious bridge. The gates of the 
fortress are open, revealing a long passageway.)

Akane: Do you suppose we should just go in?

Genma: No.

Ukyo: Yes.

(They exchange angry stares.)

Genma: It would be rude to intrude without proper...

Ukyo: Since when have you ever worried about being rude?

Genma: The honor of a true martial artist...

Ukyo: ...is noticably absent from you, old man. Or do you intend to 
keep your promise to my father?

Genma: Well, um....

Ukyo: I'd say you don't have the guts to go in, but (she pokes 
Genma hard in the stomach) you seem to be mostly gut.

Voice: Excuse me.

(Everyone turns to face the open door. Standing in the passage 
mouth is a tall, green-robed figure. His features are concealed by 
a thick cowl.)

Robed Guy: Have you come to my master's doorstep for some 
reason aside from squabbling?

Ranma: Yeah, you bet! Take us to the Wmurghfghrhg...

(Akane puts her hand over his mouth.)

Akane: (politely) We humbly crave an audience with His 
Exaltedness, the Warlord. We have traveled many miles to see him.

Robed Guy: (pleased) I'm sure that can be arraigned. We don't get 
many foreigners here, and the Warlord likes to hear news of the 
outside world. Follow me, please.

(He leads them down the passageway, into the fortress. Torches 
made of some strange reed light the corridor, giving a greenish 
glow.)

Ranma: (whispering to Akane) What's with all the fancy language?

Akane: You don't order kings and emperors around, stupid.

Ranma: Yeah, but he's just the butler or gatekeeper or something. 
Why...

Akane: It makes them feel important, and when they feel 
important they tend to agree with you.

Ranma: (skeptical) That's ridic...

Akane: Surely someone as well-traveled and intelligent as you 
are, Ranma, has noticed this?

Ranma: (pleased) Um, yeah, that's right. I have.

(Akane rolls her eyes in amusement and frustration.)

Robed Guy: (stopping) Here we are. The hall of the Warlord.

(He raps three times, loudly and slowly, upon a massive set of 
double doors. The doors slowly swing open, revealing a cavernous 
throne room filled with guards and courtiers. At one end, upon a 
dais, sits a throne of jade and silver. A young man in ornate robes 
of green silk sits upon it, surveying the room with a sedate air. 
Ranma has turned slightly pale. The robed figure leads them inside 
the hall.)

Robed Guy: (in a loud voice) Bow before His Celestial Potentness, 
Lord Tsung, Supreme High Warlord of Varaiyah! (softer voice) That 
means you.

(Ranma and Co. give polite bows.)

Tsung: We welcome you into Our humble abode. May We ask what 
brings you to Varaiyah?

Ranma: (puzzled) Why's he talking in capitals?

Akane: It's a Warlord thing.

Soun: Oh great one, we have come from across the sea in search of 
your help.

Tsung: Indeed? And how might We be of service?

Soun: My two daughters have been poisoned, and we seek a certain 
tea said to be able to save them.

(Tsung's expression darkens, and an air of menace suddenly fills 
the hall.)

Tsung: (darkly) You do not refer to Varaiyah Tea, surely?

Soun: Oh, no, Illustrious one! It's named Temerrit.

(Tsung smiles, and the tension in the air visibly evaporates.)

Tsung: You have indeed come to the correct place, for Temerrit is 
found only within Our domain. For your daughters, you say?

Soun: Yes, illustrious one. They will die within weeks if they do 
not recieve it.

Tsung: A worthy purpose. Very well, you have Our permiss...

(Suddenly, the doors burst open. Six guards enter, dragging an 
unconsious Ryoga. His face is swollen, and he's been stripped to 
the waist. Several bruses and welts reveal the probable reason 
for this.)

Akane: Ryoga!

Ranma: Hey! Get your hands off him!

Tsung: (cold, icy, measured tone) You know this.....person?

Akane: (upset) Yes! He's a friend of ours! What have you done to 
him?

Tsung: So. You enter Our domain, bringing with you this... 
..blaspheming criminal, this putrid toad....

Ranma: Wow. And I though I could insult him.

Tsung: ...and you have the temerity to ask for help?!?

Soun: No, we don't have any Temerrit tea. That's what we came to 
you for....

Ukyo: What did Ryoga do?

Tsung: He has destroyed the heart and soul of Our people! He has 
committed an unspeakable crime! Guards! Drag these vermin to the 
lowest cell in Our dungeon! (pauses) Except for the beautiful one. 
Bring her to my quarters.

(The guards grab Akane, and begin to drag her off.)

Akane: Ranma!

Ranma: Akane!

Tsung: No, you idiots, not her. We said the beautiful one. What 
would We want with her? That one's average at best...

(The guards release Akane and grab Ukyo, then begin to drag her 
off.)

Ukyo: Ranchan!

Ranma: Ucchan!

Tsung: Now that's more like it.

Akane: (indignantly) What am I, chopped liver?

Tsung: Or something resembling that, after Our torturers get 
through with you. Take them away!

Ranma: (battle aura) Don't you touch her!

(The guards ignore him, and begin to close in. Ranma punts two of 
them through the roof, and the Genma, Soun, and Akane fight off 
one apiece. Ukyo struggles, but is being held by three of them.)

Tsung: Impressive. But feeble compared to Our might.

(He lifts a teacup to his lips, and drains it. His body begins to 
pulse with a greenish glow.)

Tsung: Come, boy. Fight Us.

Ranma: "Us"? I only see one of you.

Tsung: We are an army unto Ourself.

Ranma: You're gonna be a dead army in a second! TENSHIN 
AMAGURIKEN!

(He does the usual mind-boggling number of punches. They all 
connect. Tsung staggers a bit, but stands his ground.)

Ranma: Wha? OW!

(His fists are swollen and bruised, as if he had been attacking a 
stone wall.)

Tsung: Interesting. Were We not enhanced, it might have even been 
painful.

(He raises his hands on high.)

Tsung: CHAO KUNG MING STRIKE!

(An immense blast of greenish Ki-energy hammers into Ranma, 
who is flung against the far wall. He groans, and struggles to his 
unsteadily to his feet.)

Ranma: He's good...but if it's Ki he wants....MOKO TAKABISHA!

(Ranma releases his own burst of Ki-energy at Tsung. It impacts, 
causing the Warlord to stumble.)

Tsung: We have never before seen such persistance! But this 
begins to bore Us. It ends now, friend of heretics. (raises his 
hands) SHAN HAI GALE BLAST!

(He flings out his hands, and a column of focused, churing air with 
a greenish cast hits Ranma. He stumbles, makes a vain attempt to 
stay consious, and falls to the floor.)

Tsung: Such is the order of the heavens. Take them from my sight.

(Ranma and Co. are dragged away by the guards.)

Tsung: (to himself) Ryoga....at last We have a name to put to the 
face. Yes, Ryoga, you shall die a hundred times for what you have 
done to Us and Our people!

END OF EPISODE 7