Mr. the Rutsch[SMTP:jdrutsch@ucdavis.edu] wrote:

In Ranma 1/2, in which this story is set, Kasumi does things stereotypical 
of a ditz.  No matter what your motives, "would the elves like something 
for breakfast?" is saying something stereotypical of a ditz.

My mom says things like this quite often... usually when I'm in a bad mood (and she is definitely NOT a ditz).  Kasumi's just trying to take attention away from petty problems.

I'm asking: why the disparity?  If she's intelligent, why does she 
consistently act like a ditz around the family?  I realize she has 
ulterior motives for specific examples...but I don't see any reason why 
she consistently acts that way.

>From my school experience, I'd have to say that acting like a moron is, "just so cool, ya know?"  'Course, Kasumi doesn't seem like that kind of person...

There's plenty of methods to get what you want done without acting like a 
ditz.  As I mentioned, Kasumi's main value to the family, in this story, 
is as a mother...and being a ditz is neither a necessary nor a positive 
characteristic for a mother.  

True, but her "ditzy" moments are interupted by some extremely non-ditzy ones... when she's comforting Akane or Soun, or speaking with Tofu.  She doesn't want to be the mother... she wants to be the older sister.  She respects her mother far too much to even consider taking her place.  That may be why she feels so bad about her mother's memory slipping away.

Maybe I'm missing out on something that's obvious.  If so, please explain 
what.  

Well, I agree that her methods aren't exactly normal... but she gets the job done, right?  I was thinking more about her thoughts and her actions on a general level, rather than her actions in face to face conversation... it's clear that she isn't a ditz, because she manages to keep the family going.  Her strange parenting style may be explained by the fact that she isn't exactly raising a normal family... ^_^

There's the even-odd thing going on, which maybe I should have caught on 
to.  However, much of the story is in flashbacks.  So it's not just "a 
day in the life", it's also "the memoirs of Kasumi."

Yes, most of the story is flashbacks, but Kasumi is a very quite, reflective person.  She doesn't have much action in her life, but she has a lot of memories.  

It's linear in kind of the same way _Slaughter-House 5_ was. ^_^

Never seen it.  Doesn't sound too good, though.  I don't like steak. :P

How better to develop a character than to use typical occasions?  If 
extraordinary circumstances were used, Kasumi probably would be acting 
extraordinarily...  I say, GOOD JOB! 

I agree entirely.  My opinion is that limiting the events of the story to a 
single ordinary, perhaps *boring* day, with *no* flashbacks, would be even 
better, would be even more representative of Kasumi's life.  

That would better fit the "day in the life" mold, but bringing out her character that way would be difficult.  I'll take back my "day in the life" claim... It literally is a day in her life, but I guess it doesn't really follow a typical "day in the life" structure.  (Thank god... that would make for a severely boring story)

I loved the opening scene.  I really did.  Also, I think a metaphor 
for the family would be a nice addition to the story.  

Sure.  I thought you wanted him to change the hair thing, though...  and I like that part.

I wouldn't change a thing.

'Course, as C&C, that's useless...and he asked for C&C.

I meant about the opening... I don't want everything spelled out right at the start.  It's nice to ease into the story.  So often stories begin with a 5 line introduction that is little more than a crude outline.  "Heart of the Home" doesn't give many hints about where it's going to go, or what it will become.  

My biggest complaint is about the Japanese inclusions...  It took me a while to figure out what some of the words really meant (in terms of respect & such), and they seemed kind of unnecessary.  I don't mind a few chans or sans, because those meanings can't really be reproduced in english.

I didn't mean to sound caustic or anything, Jeff, I just felt that perhaps you'd missed something while reading through.  I don't want to push my opinions on anyone; it's pointless.

Good night,

-Neill
-----
As the colors fade away my love,
As the darkness turns to day above,
Celebrate the one you love.
-the Tea Party
-----