This was great. You say it's your first one? Damn good start.
   Kasumi's always been one of my favorite characters, and this piece is a
worthy tribute. Superb characterisation; your portrayal of Kasumi's
thought processes really hit the mark. I also liked the use of the
supporting characters, especially your handling of Nabiki.
   Day-in-the-life fics are a real challenge to an author. Do them wrong,
and you wind up boring your audience. Do them right, and you have painted
a moving portrait of a character. This one was definatly done right.
   I liked the way the apron-ritual was mentioned at the very beginning
and very end; it seemed to bring the thing full-circle.
   The use of Japanese has already been mentioned enough.
   I was rather surprised by Kasumi's reaction to Akane's impromptu
haircut. I think the shock she felt was a little overplayed; you might
want to tune it down in future versions.
   Kasumi's interaction with her mother, and the link you make with this
and Kasumi's character, were perfect. I also liked the implications of
Nabiki's working on the finances.
   Overall, wonderful. Keep the same quality of writing in future pieces.
I'll be looking forward to them. :)

- Mike of No Particular Title or Handle
===/\=====+==================================================================
  /  \    l   Mike Loader - Lincolnite, Amberite, Illuminatus, Discordian,
 / () \   l      Journalist, Author, Traveler, Historian, Java Fiend.
/      \  l        Trier - LA - LV - Kiev - Reno - Hong Kong. Fnord.
--------  l                    mloader@scs.unr.edu
==========+==================================================================