On Sun, 2 Jun 1996, Marisa Dawn Price wrote:

has no one read part 9? I guess these things happen when you write a 
lemon-- you get lots of interest... and when you go back to the story you
get a bit 0 :)!

   Hey, hey, hey, _I_ read it...
   As to actual C&C however...
   My only big problem with this installment was Nabiki's breaking down 
when Ranma confronted her about the photos. Her speech about being the 
one charged with maintaining the dojo seemed _very_ contrived to me indeed.
   My suggestion: just have Ranma confront her and put the terror of God 
in her, as he did before, though perhaps even more aggressively ("I don't 
hit girls; don't make me make an exception in your case"). Nabiki needn't 
say a word; I suspect she'd be so shocked that Ranma reacted as extremely 
as he did that it would reduce her to a simple "yes, of course" or some 
such remark. The shock alone, I think, would give her cause to reflect on 
whtether or not she'd really gone over the line there (and perhaps what had 
driven her there).

   I did find the scene where Ukyo reworks her boy's uniform outfit in a 
feminine mode a tiny bit peculiar. You appeared to be still in somewhat 
of a lemon mood; I found the mental image of Ukyo with her jacket open a 
little...ah...distracting...(H_H) I really can't see her going to school 
dressed quite as you described, even if she were trying to look more 
feminine. (i take it she's got very little on underneath the tank top. 
"...in all their glory"...ahem. Um. She _was_ planning on buttoning her 
jacket, I hope? :) )
   Seriously, Ukyo does seem a bit more surprised at Ryoga's reaction than 
I expect she'd be. She has observed first hand his violent reaction to 
even the merest glimpses of feminine glories several times. In any case, 
she does underestimate the "femininity" of her garb a bit more than I'd 
expect. Her intent _was_ to look a bit more desirable, I understand...

   Otherwise, chapter nine was thoroughly enjoyable. More, please...! 

Paul Corrigan
budgie@insomnia3.dorms.utoledo.edu