Now if only Part three would show up as quickly! ^_^

I liked it alot - though I will be interested to see how you deal with the
various fiancees, particularly Ukyou...

Keep spending the effort, or we will hunt you down and do horrible things
to you.  You *may* consider that as emotional blackmail from a graduate of
the Tendo Nabiki School of Indiscriminate Financing... ^_^



My only question involves this:

Ranma stopped for a while, and his eyes began to glisten.  And then, the words
came out of him as if he couldn't stop.  "I'm a bad person, Akane.  I bully
people and say bad things about them.  I don't give anyone any respect; I'd
rather punch them than be nice to them.  I call you uncute and make fun of
you and fight with you all the time, and I don't care if you get hurt while
I'm doing it.  I insult my father and make my mother feel unloved.  Nothing
matters to me other than my stupid martial arts, and what does that get me?
Trouble with princes, monsters, and curses."  Again, he hung his head.
"I don't do nothing but hurt people.  My life ain't worth nothing."

You have this paragraph in the story twice.... verbatim.  Was that deliberate?

Looking forward to revision two!

(and parts three +)

Zen-



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[[                  James Bateman (Otaku@nashville.com)                  ]]
[[ -The experiment has begun - A million monkeys at a million keyboards- ]]
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