Here are the entries in the Bulwer/Lytton Anime contest.  I didn't
try to pick a winner.  My favorite is probably Chris Willmore's,
but here are all of them.  A couple were deleted because they were
more than one paragraph.  Against the rules!

Anyway, sorry 'bout the delay.

WARNING:  A lot of these are lemons, and some of them are disgusting.
I take no responsibility for them.  Talk to the authors.


Matthew Trotter: 

          Ranma 1/2: Battle Against Boredome

   Things seemed pretty quiet in Nermia now that Ranma and Akane were 
married, and Mousse and Shampoo, and Ryoga and Akari, and Ukyo and 
Kontasu, and Dr. Tofu and Kasumi, and Nabiki and Kuno, and Mikado and 
Kodachi, and Asusa and Barney, and Tsubasa and Allegra, and Happosi and 
Cologne.  There was only one thing left to do...HAVE SEX!

           BubbleGum Crunch

   I had known Priss for little over a week now, and already I knew she 
was a Knight Saber.  I had met her while we were jamming at my  favorite 
night club Hot Legs.  I have already finished work on my new hard suit.  
I hate to brag, but it IS a thousand times more powerful than any of 
their suits.  I know they hate it when I come in and fight their battles 
for them...but I know they won't be able to take out Largo without me...

And now the lemon version of that same fic:

           BubbleGum Splooge

   I had known Priss for little over a week now, and already I had bagged 
all the Knight Sabers at least twice.  I met her while we were jamming at 
my favorite night club Hot Legs.  After we got done jamming at hot leggs 
we went back to her place for some real jamming.  Then after I saved the 
whole team from the clutches of Largo, we went back to Sylia's for an 
orgy...I remember it like it was yesterday...


Chris Willmore:  

        Cologne gazed into Happosai's eyes. Love potion or
no love potion, it'd been YEARS since she had felt these...
Sensations... And now that BOTH of them were infatuated, she
wasn't about to let the opportunity go to waste...  She
shivered with anticipation as he wrapped his pudgy arms around
her.  Their mouths locked, wrinkled lips brushing against each 
other and becoming entangled in the aged folds of skin.  Soon,
skin was all there was, as they pulled their outer coverings
off in a Passion-Spice-induced madness. Everything was perfect, 
until their tryst was about to become serious... 
At that point, Happi's eyes widened, and he tensed in places
other than that which nature intended... The Amazon wise woman
looked at him questioningly, but his only answer was in
English: "Oh, boy."

[Insert Quantum Leap opening credits]


Ben Kosse:

      When Urd called Keiichi into the room, he was paying too much
attention to his memory of the recent events to notice the bug jump into
Skuld's head. Upon entering the room, hewas greeted by the first of two
horrible surprises: a half-naked and bound Belldandy was being slapped by a
leather-clad Urd. The second surprise was Skuld appearing in front of him,
throwing off her Goddess robes and clenching him hotly.


Shinobi (?):

Ranma 1/2 
P-chan Passion

       As Akane came to her room after another fun filled night wtih 
Ranma, she stopped at her bed and called "Here P-chan".
Filled with delight P-chan comes to Akane knowing all to well what 
tonight will bring.  "Ranma is such a baka", Akane mumbled.  "Not 
like you my sweet P-chan".  <Yes> thought P-chan, < she only wants 
one thing after a fight with that bastard Ranma>.  P-chan jumps on 
the bed as Akane slips out of all of her clothes.  Getting in her bed 
she lets P-chan under the covers and says "Make me squeal piggy 
squeal" 


Kent Magami:

   A-ko allowed her head to fall into hands as frustrated tears poured 
from her eyes.  In the background, screaming could be heard as people 
ran from the horror in their midst.  Things had gotten very bad around 
Graviton City, ever since C-ko learned about sex...


Harvey Torrance Griffin:

	Once Mackie regained conciousness, he took in his situation with
something remotely resembling mortal dread.  He was buck naked and
securely gagged; his wrists were bound to a chain suspended from the
ceiling, and his feet were shackled to D-rings bolted to the floor about a
meter apart.  Then someone ripped off his blindfold and he blanched as he
saw as he looked around:  Linna clad only in a garter belt, stockings,
heels, and a cutting edge No-Hands camcorder; Nene wearing a translucent
T-shirt too short to cover her shaved crotch and casually examining a huge
bullwhip; Priss eyeing his ass with an evil grin on her face as she oiled
up the foot-long strap-on dildo adorning her otherwise nude body, and his
sister (in nothing save her transparent teddy) looking at him
emotionlessly as she smacked the riding crop against her palm. 
	"We warned you about those cameras, Mackie." Sylia said calmly.

	Priss tried to force herself to her feet, but to no avail. 
Whatever those... things were, they proved more powerful than any Boomer
she had seen save possibly Largo.  One of them had crippled her armour
with a single blast, and now ignored her as it joined it's 5 companions in
toying with the other 'Sabers.  Suddenly, she saw a strange glow in the
corner near where she landed.  As she dragged herself closer, it revealed
itself to be a glowing pink pen floating about a foot in the air.  The
sounds of battle faded from Priss' awareness as she reached out and
grasped the seeming illusion; then suddenly, her body was infused with
power that healed her wounds as a waterfall of knowledge poured into her
mind.  On instinct Priss stood, turned to face the Youma, and cried:
	"MOON PRISM POWER MAKE UP!" 


Julian Fong:

	Boss Hogg looked around the Bugrom throne room, tugging his white
jacket around his ample girth.  "Well, Miss Diva," he said, "Ah ain't too
sure jest how ah got heah, but if them boys are heah too and helpin' out
them Roshtarians, I kin betcha they ain't up ta any good."  He pushed up the
brim of his Stetson.  "So it's about tahm y'all had some law 'n order 'round
heah," he declared to the crowd of Bugs around him.  "If any o' yew's
willin' to volunteeah as mah deputies, we kin go out an' put the Dukes of
El-Hazard away fer good!"  His snorting laughter quickly grew to a maniacal
cackle.


Dark Fiber:


"i'd swear i heard hentai noises in here akane." Akane replied by upercutting
him outt the room. After shutting the door she reached down into her
nickers and after a loud popping sound a sodden but delerious duck
was help in her hands.......


Lizsue:

        The seventeen year old girl turned from her seat in the first row of 
the Oslo auditorium and looked into the crowd.  Leading scientists and 
humanitarians, heads of state, celebrities, and of course the press...a far 
cry from the crowd with whom she had associated as late as a year ago.  
Mesmerized by the realization that she had finally outdone them all, she 
almost didn't hear the announcement, even as she walked up the stage to 
recieve her medal and take her place in history.  It seemed as though she 
was dreamind, but a few of the speaker's words finally reached her to let 
her know it was really happening.
        "...and the Nobel Peace Prize goes to Kuno Kodachi...."


--Sean Gaffney
--never again, my friends...