Here's a little fanfic I wrote about DnR (Ranma in Collage).
Tell me what you think: <hayesman@webspan.net>
Harold C.Hayes wrote:
Thank You. Here you go. By the way, I have two other fanfics in the
(incomplete) 1st draft phase. One involves the gang from Mystery Science
Theater 3000 reveiwing "Ranma 1/2 The Movie: Big Trouble In Nekkonron,
China" and the other is a continuation of the series: "Ranma 1/2
Elseworlds: The nonexistant Book 39 and 40". The later takes up where
the series left off and follows Ranma and Akane as they get married
(accidentally) and cure Ryoga and discover how the curses actually work.
Sorry, the mallets will remain a mystery. :) The latter also combines
character from and resembling those of "X-files" and "Dragon Ball Z".
I'll sent the drafts to you as soon as possible.
Hayes wrote:
Here's a little story from HAYES, the man with entirelly too much free
time on his hands. ( Amazing that this has grown to a point where
fanfiction is writen about fanfiction,huh?)
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DnR: Elsworlds; Ace Ventura, Quest for P-chan Part 1: Allllrighty-then
***********************************************************************
[It is a beautiful Sunday at the Maison Sabaku. The sun is shinningearly in the morning. Akane is sitting on the small step at the
entrance
to the Maison Sabaku looking listless. Kazuyo steps out with her broom
to do some sweeping.]
Kazuyo: Oh! Akane! Ohayo, what are you doing out here.
Akane: oh, Ohayo, Kirinin-san. I was just thinking.
Kazuyo: Of what?
Akane: Of a pet I used to have. He was a small, black piglet. He was
like a stray cat, really. He would wander off, then return. I haven't
seen him in months.
Kazuyo: There aren't any pets allowed in here, y'know.
Akane: Yeah. But I wish he would come by, though. Its tough never
knowing what happened to him.
Kazuyo: ....
Kazuyo: {gets a flash of inspiration}
[Kazuyo walks into the Maison Sabaku and soon returns holding a yellow
buisness card.]
Kazuyo: Dozo {hands buisness card to Akane}
Akane: What's this?
Kazuyo: He's some kind of private investigatot that specializes with
pets. Apparently he did something to anger some tribespeople in Africa
and he had to take the first plane to as far away as possible, so he
ended up here. He was at the market trying to drum up some buisness.
Akane: Africajin?
Kazuyo: Actually, he seemed to be an Amerikajin.
Akane: Hmmm....
[Afternoon at the Maison Sabaku. Ranma was happily trotting home. He
had finished his back assignments ( well enough to warrent a break) and
spent the day alone training. Since the battle with that demon guy, he
realized there were still perils to face and, therefore, training to bedone. And to top it all off, he had a free lunch curtesy of Hitomi.
He
was wearing work out shorts and a T-shirt. Ranma had a feeling that
nothing could go wrong today, and maybe because of this, as soon as he
opened his door, something did.]
[Behind the door lay a tall man about six foot. He wore flamboyant,
hiked up pants and a white undershirt clearly visible under an openHawaiian shirt. He was pacing back and forth, scrutenizing the
contents
of their appartment.]
[Akane was standing near the doorway, looking dumbfounded at their
visitor]
Ranma: Un... Akane, who is this?
[Akane turns to answer, but is cut off by the man who rushes over to
Ranma and shakes his hand vigoruosly.]
Man: Hi! I'm Ace Ventura! Pet Detective!
Ranma: uh, konichiwa...
Akane: Uh, yeah, Ventura-san is here to help me find P-chan.
Ranma: P-chan?!
Ace: That's right! A small veitnamese pot-bellied piglet with an orange
and black patterned bandanna? Should be Nooooo problem!
Ranma: Akane, you hired a private investigator?! We're on a budget!
Ace: Fear not, my pony-tailed friend! As my first costumers in the land
of the rising sun, I am giving you a free-be, provided you pass on wordof my incredible skill in the art of observation. {Gives Ranma a
fistful
of buisness cards}
Ranma: right...
Ace: How about a demonstration?
Ranma and Akane: ?...sure...
Ace: OK! You are an ailurophobic Anything goes style martial artist whochanges into a girl when splashed with cold water and has a nil sex
life
with his wife.
Ranma and Akane: [face fault]
Ranma: How... How... did you...
Ace: Ah! You want an explanation....{Takes a DEEP breath...}
The moisture stain above the burner in the kitchen signifying that there
is a steaming kettle there constantly in readyness and I notice you have
a non-gender specific haircut that is totally outdated and absolutely no
body hair what-so-ever to save enbarressment hence you transform and
of course the only place to get a Jusenkyo curse is in the acursed
MARTIAL ARTS training ground and I also notice that all the pictures of
cats in your bio book are marked over with kanji usedo n wards to repel
demons and the only way a martial artist and master of concentration
could aquire so ludicrous a phobia is through the long since banished
cat-fu technique exclusive to the anything goes martial arts stlye and
the window is recently replaced and the tree outside has an imprint of
your face on it meaning an argument broke out between you two and ended
in you getting your ass kicked through that window into that tree where
most newlyweds end fights by making up and doing the horizontal monkey
dance...
*GASP* *GASP* *GASP*
Ranma and Akane: .......
Ace: Thats Right! I'm Right! I can tell! Yes! Yes! Yes! {accompanied by
abdominal thrusts} Can you feel that?! Yes!
Ranma: Are all Amerikajin like you?
Ace: No. There are some weirdoes in San Francisco.
Ranma: Yeah... shouldn't you be leaving now... to find the pig...
Ace: Alllllrighty-then. I'm just waiting for my faithful sidekick,
Spike.
Ranma: Spike?
[Just then we here a tiolet flush and a monkey walks out of the bathroom
with a peice of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his paw and dragging
behind him]
Ace: Spike! Your embarassing me!
[A few minutes later we see Ace exiting the Maison Sabaku and is about to
leave down the street when he heres the click of a camera]
[Ace looks around, then stealthly peeks around the corner of the buiding.
Choji is standing below Room 4's window and is looking into a camera
with a very, very blong lens. Ranma and Akane are argueing (duh). Ace
walks up to him and glares at him. Soon, Choji feels Ace's eyes on him
and looks up]
[Upon seeing Ace, Choji smiles weakly and runs around the corner.]
Ace: {To Spike, who is perched on his right shoulder} Looooouuu--ser.
[Ace walks down the street of Ranma's old neighbor in Nerima. He is
carrying a pad with what seems to be a "to-do" list and Spike is
following him]
Ace: Ok, Spike! First we have to survey the area, then we need to thinklike a pig ( good thing I bought my "Andrew 'Dice' Clay Live" tapes)
and
then we'll make a list of possible suspects....Spike?
[not hearing a "kikiki" of affirmation, Ace turns around to find a
strange girl dressed in a figure skating outfit and squeezing the life
out of Spike. She is standing next to a limo with an open door that she
presumably just hopped out of.]
Azusa: Jean Claude! Jean Claude! Oh! You're soooo Kawai!
Ace: {Snacthing Spike back} Excuse me, my dear near-sighted girl, this
is my associate, Spike, not the mucsles from Brussels!
[Azusa picks up a nearby mailbox and starts bashing Ace over the head...]
Azusa: Give Azusa back her Jean Claude! Jean Claude! Jean Caude!
Ace: Thank you, Tanya Harting!
[With that, Ace runs like hell and disappears around a corner.]
Azusa: *sob!* *sob!* And I so wanted Jean Claude for my collection...
[She getts back into the limo and it drives away]
Ace: {Memorizing lisence plate from behind the corner} So! She collects
cute animals, Huh? Spike! I think we have our first suspect!
Spike: kiki!
[From the other side of the corner, a man dressed in drag emerges from
the now battered mailbox]
Tsubasa: Urrrgh...Does anybody have an Advil?
--To be continued
Copywrites of Ace Ventura belong to Paramount or somebody, I'm not
fooling anyone. The rest belong to the Rumiko Takahashi or the Computer
Knights or something
Stay tuned for Part 2: Azusa's Kawai Zoo of Death: "Do NOT Go in there!"
