Okay, at Kun-chan's request (it's her fault, so you can't blame me.
^_^), here's a little fic I wrote a while back, the first episode to a
mock-tv series I'm currently writing, called 'Mikado Ichiban: Zembun
Otoko!' (lit. translation: 'Number one Mikado: All Man!').
It of course, stars the infinitly cool, yet far too underexposed
character: Mikado Sanzenin, skating idol, kisser of females, etc.,
etc... Of Ranma 1/2, of course. It details Mikado's exploits at his own
School, Kolkhoz High.
This is not intended to be continuous with the Ranma 1/2 universe.
Basically, it's my interpretation of how the Ranma 1/2 universe would
have progressed if Mikado had continued to have a part at all. :)
It's a bit corny. It's occasionally meladramatic. But mostly, it's plain
silly.
I have 8 episodes complete, ep. 9 well on it's way, a movie in the works,
and a couple o' OAVs being written by other authors. This puppy has
been my pet project for over a year. (Sleep? Wassat?)
Most of the characters in the series are new, and most names are joke
references to friends I've met on the various MUCKs around. :)
Characters who show up that people might recognize are Chance (from
Arthur Harvey Edwards' "Black Ops 301"), and Juzya (from Stephan Gagne's
"Juyza's Lyric"). And yes, I got permission first.
And without further dawdling, here it is...
----
(a television screen, showing a news reporter, and a picture of Mikado in the
background)
reporter: today's topic, Mikado Sanzenin...
(channel gets flipped, another show with Mikado being talked about is on this
channel. The channel keeps getting flipped, each station having something to
do with Mikado- a show, an interview, or an ad with him in it. The scene pulls
back to reveal that Mikado is watching this from his room. He smiles wryly.)
Mikado: (sighing, running a hand through his meticuloulsy done hair) I always
knew that TV stations had some taste left in their programming.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(scene fades to black, theme music starts playing.)
(A slow pan as the music starts up, Mikado is shown, starting from his feet and
moving up. He standing on a street corner, leaning against a telephone pole.
He has a very determined look on his face. The scene moves to show what he is
looking at- a very beautiful young girl who is walking down the street. Mikado
gets up, and starts to skate over to her. His skating is disrupted by Azusa,
who rushes in front of him to pick up.. a bottle cap. She mouths the words
'Kawaii', while running around Mikado, showing him the bottle cap. Mikado
looks with dismay as the female walks out of sight. Next scene the backdrop
changes to a rink where he does some complicated moves. Standing at the
sidelines are a group of screaming females, holding signs with Mikado's name on
them, and a lanky, purple-haired male is behind them wearing sunglasses and an
annoyed frown. The camera goes back to Mikado, who jumps into a quad axel. The
animation stops, and the camera zooms in on his face. The music comes to an
end.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mikado Ichiban - Zembun Otoko! Ep.1- Here's Mikado!
(we see a pan in Black and White of a typical-looking anime high school,
obviously through a home camcorder.)
Commentator voice: Kolkhoz High School- A school like so many others in
Tokyo, but with one major difference: this is the school of Mikado Sanzenin,
one of the foremost skating stars of our time. Over the course of this film, I
hope to get the inside scoop on this deity!
(The camera blips, and we see a crowded classroom. There are many people
sitting around in their desks, but one desk is surrounded by a group of females
standing patiently. The desk has many gifts piled on top of it.)
Commentator: This is Mikado's class room, where Mikado learns many fun and
exciting things! (we see that half the students are asleep.) This is his
desk. (camera swings over to the desk being surrounded by females.)
Unfortunately, he is not here right now- he's off representing Kolkhoz High
School in the Japanese High School skating competition! (loud cheers are heard
from the group of females crowding around Mikado's desk.) Those are a few of
the member's of the largest club in Kolkhoz High School- the Mikado Sanzenin
fan Club! (more cheers) As you can see, they are all proud of him, and his
efforts to bring the title back to Kolkhoz High for the third year
running! (the girls all cheer again.) Those boxes you see are the
daily gift load from his admirers.
(the screen blips again, and we see a girl with short orange hair, glasses, and
wearing a classical female school dress. She has a microphone in her hand.)
Commentator: You all know about Mikado's school, and have now seen the
classroom he attends, but now you must be thinking: what is Mikado like?
Well, I'm going to go all around the school, and ask as many students as I can
that very question!
(Image blinks, we see a short girl with curly, strawberry-blonde hair. She is
wearing a cheerleader costume, and holding pom-poms.)
Commentator: Okay Josie, what do you think of Mikado?
Josie: (does a few Cartwheels) M!... I!..... K!.... A!... D!.... O!
MIKADO-KUN!!! (she stands still, giggling.) Mikado is a really great guy,
handsome, smart, and thoughtful as well! I should know, I'm really good
friends with him....
(we hear screams of shock from off the camera.)
girl #1: What? What do you mean you're 'good friends' with Mikado?
girls (a bunch): Yeah!
Josie: (turns to face off camera) Hey, I'm just his friend, it's not like I'm
going out with him..
Girl #2: Did you hear that? She's going out with him!
Girl #3: We must protect Mikado from her, I want to go out with him!
Girl #1, and some others: Yeah, get her!
(Josie runs off screen, we see a group of females run past the camera as well.
The commentator sticks her face in front of the camera.)
commentator: (smiles lightly, holding a hand behind her head, and laughing
nervously.) Well, let's just see if we can find some other people's opinions!
(The image blips, and we see the face of a tall, blonde-haired boy wearing
glasses. He looks a little like Mikado, except for the glasses, his clothes,
and his posture.)
Commentator: Phrank, you're Mikado's classmate, and a good friend, right?
Phrank: That's right, I've known Mikado since we were in grade five.
Commentator: Wow! That long? What was he like as a child?
Phrank: He was a puny, weak boy who had problems defending himself. I used to
protect him from bullies.
Commentator: Really? What changed him?
Phrank: (smiles, and runs his hand through his hair.) I took him on his first
skating lesson. It was obvious from the moment he stepped onto the ice that he
wasn't the one needing any training. He is a perfect example of a child
prodigy. (he smiles) You could say I'm responsible for his success,
protecting him in those early years, and then making him discover his talent
for skating... (Phrank brings his hands down, and clenches them into fists.)
Damn.. If I hadn't taken him skating that day, he might have continued being
the puny twerp he was... Instead, he developed into a professional skater, and
lady killer.. (starts to scream) Damn you Mikado! Because of you, I can't
get a date with anyone! They all want to go out with you! I should..
(image cuts out, and cuts back in with the frazzled face of the commentator.)
Commentator: Sorry about that, maybe we can find a sane conversation in the
cafeteria...
(image cuts to the school cafeteria, to a table where a woman is sitting by
herself, sipping a cup of tea. She is fairly tall, with long, red hair, and
green eyes. She is wearing a business suit.)
Commentator: So Mikami, what is your opinion of Mikado?
Mikami: (finishes sipping her tea, and smiles.) Mikado? The skater boy?
He's handsome, but nothing special.
Commentator: Nothing special? He's one of the most well-known upcoming
skaters in the world!
Mikami: Maybe, but he's still just an egotistical guy. He came up to me once,
saying how lucky I was, as he was taking me out on a date. I just slapped the
bastard right there and walked away.
Commentator: WHAT?!? You.. You turned down a date with Mikado?
Mikami: Hey, he may be cute, but no one tells me what to do!
(Mikami goes back to her lunch, and we see the commentator swing her face in
view of the camera. She is wide-eyed, gaping in shock.)
Commentator: There you have it, a female who denied herself the chance to go
out with Mikado. Let's try and find somebody with a better sense of judgment..
(the image on the screen blips. The backdrop has changed to a hallway in
Kolkhoz High. We see Azusa looking at the camera, smiling and giggling
happily.)
Azusa: OOH!! Raymonde! You're such a cuuuute camcorder!!!
(we hear cries from the commentator, as Azusa's face gets closer and closer to
the camera. The image changes to a bunch of static. The image blips again, and
the scene has changed to a bunch of lockers. A short, drab-looking kid with a
tired look on his face is centered in the camera.)
Kid (Baka): Mikado? He's one of the most handsome guys in the world... (his
mouth twitches.) truly a model skater... (bows his head, and then yells
loudly.) He stole my girlfriend, the bastard!!! (at the screaming, the screen
bowls over and points up towards the roof.)
(screen blips yet again. cut to a group of teenage females.)
females #1-12: EEE! MIKADO IS SOOO COOL!! female #1: He's so dreamy!
female #2: He looked at me once, I can't believe it!
female #3: Mikado is a god, I want to marry him!!
(The commentator appears in front of the camera. She is beaming happily, and
looking tremendously relieved.)
commentator: There you have it, The opinion of the Kolkhoz High School on
Mikado Sanzenin- skating god, and truly wonderful person!!
females #1-12: YAYY!! MIKADO!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(cut to commercial. An SD Azusa is chasing a terrified little cat. She bumps
into Mikado, who is blocking her way, she cries a little, and hits him over the
head with a hammer.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(show comes back, cut to a scene with a lot of technology around, flashing
lights going off randomly, and the typical screen chart which makes no sense
whatsoever. A man in olive drab military technician clothes is standing in
front of the camera, he has silver-colored eyes, and purple hair.)
Commentator: So Chance, rumor has it that you work for Mikado?
Chance: Yes, I do.
Commentator: So, what exactly do you do for him?
Chance: I'm sorry ma'am, that's top secret information.
Commentator: Can you say anything about your job under Mikado?
Chance: I'm afraid I cannot reveal the nature of my job, but I will say that
it's had the singular merit of being.. unusual. (smiles, revealing a vicious
grin) And the pay is good.
Commentator: Well, if that's all you have to say...
(suddenly, a person bursts through a doorway, he stops and salutes Chance.)
person: Sir! We have made a breakthrough in our research on the
anti-Azu... mrph! (at this point, Chance has leapt from his position beside
the camera, over to the person who had walked in, and is covering the
man's mouth with his hand.)
Chance: (looks at the camera, smiling diplomatically.) please forgive my
partner for his outburst, (turns to look at the person, and narrows his eyes.)
I'll be sure it doesn't happen again...
commentator: Yes, umm... Well, thank you for your time, Chance! I hope
whatever you're doing for Mikado goes well.
Chance: (grins, as his eyes gleam. He looks back at the camera, releasing his
grip on the man, who slumps to the floor.) I certainly hope it does too. I
just hope that Azu... (pauses, catching whatever it was he was about to say,
and looks suspiciously at the camera. He smiles.) Err, I just hope that
Mikado appreciates the job once I'm finished.
Commentator: Yes, well, umm, thanks for your time Chance!
Chance: (salutes) It was my pleasure.
(Image fades, and cuts to scene in front of a gate to a lavish-looking home.
The commentator is standing in front of the camera, looking very happy.)
Commentator: Now that we've seen Mikado's school, his classmates, and
interviewed his mysterious employee, we're going to finish this documentary
with an interview of his father, at the Sanzenin household!
(The camera continues to roll, with the Sanzenin household getting larger and
larger, we notice a gigantic building to the left, apparently a personal
skating rink. Finally, after walking up to the doors of the house, and through
some magnificent hallways, we reach a gigantic study, filled wall to
wall with books and historical artifacts. We see a middle-aged man with
long black hair. He is sitting in a chair, looking through a book.)
Commentator: Mr. Sanzenin, what do you think of your son, Mikado?
Mr. Sanzenin: (sits back in his chair.) Mikado is a fine son. (chokes once on
his words.) He has brought much luck and wealth to this family.. (starts to
cry) Oh I'm so proud of him!! I only wish Hikaru were as smart, good-looking,
or skilled!
(A short, dull looking boy wearing glasses walks up behind the father. He
looks embarrassed, looking down at the ground, and blushing.)
Hikaru: I wish you would stop saying things like that....
(the father continues to let tears stream down his face, ignoring Hikaru. He
is clenching one fist, and holding a framed picture of Mikado and himself in
the other.)
Father: I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE HIM!!! (continues sobbing)
(Hikaru walks out of the room, continuing to look shamefaced. The commentator,
after figuring out that Mr.Sanzenin is emotionally tied up, follows him.)
Commentator: Hikaru? Wait up please, Hikaru!
Hikaru: (turns around) What do you want from me?
(camera stops moving.)
Commentator: You're Mikado's brother, you should know him better than anyone
else... What is Mikado like?
Hikaru: (adjusts his glasses, pondering the question) I'd have to say that
well... Mikado... he means well, at least. It's a shame he's so misguided...
Commentator: misguided? How so?
Hikaru: (laughs) How so? He's misguided in his entire view of things! He
thinks that kissing females is his mission in life, that he's doing them all a
favor! Yeah, right! I mean... (screen fizzes out)
(the screen comes back to life, and we see the commentator standing in front of
the camera, again. We see her hair is messed up, and she looks a little
miffed. Hikaru is lying on the floor beside her, with a 100 lb mallet
implanted into the side of his head. The commentator tries to prim herself up,
and then starts to speak.)
Commentator: Well, there we have it- an in-depth view on the great Mikado
Sanzenin, undisputedly one of the greatest people of our time! Hopefully, next
time, we will meet up with Mikado himself, but for now, this is your host,
Kureena Mitsuka, saying so long, and I hope you enjoyed the show!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(show ends, ad break. Show comes back on, and music starts playing as the
credits roll by. The background for the credits is a meeting of the Mikado fan
club, at which the members are singing the lyrics to the song currently
playing.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
** end **
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mikado Ichiban: Zembun Otoko! episode #1 - Here's Mikado!
written by: Eric Jones (AKA Mikado on the AnimeMUCK)
notes: co-starring: (also from the AnimeMUCK) -Josie
-Mikami
-Phrank
-Chance
Thanks to these people, who's likeness I have (sort of) used (with their
permission), to add some extra (extremely silly/crazed) characters to the
fanfic. Thanks also to Mikado Sanzenin (the god of skating and good looks) for
not being a regular character on Ranma 1/2, thus giving me an excuse to write
this! ^-^
----
And there you have it. The first, but not the last. The next four
episodes (ep. 2-5) were mostly just transcripts of the events of the
Ranma 1/2 manga, just to let people who hadn't read them in on where this
Mikado guy came from. I could skip right past those to ep. 6 with little
confusion, but if You want, I could sent them all... Or none at all,
your choice. :)
==============================================================================
|
-Eric "Mikado" Jones | ejones@FineArts.uvic.ca
| http://kafka.uvic.ca/~ejones/home.html
Unwilling Arch-Deacon of the |----------------------------------------
Church of Azusa, Keeper of the |
Bruises, and head of the "kawaii | "No Azusa, those pants are *not* cute!"
people!" department. | -Mikado
-----------------------------------------
Join now, and you get to give up a treasured object of your very own to
the Goddess Azusa! Or she'll kill you!
==============================================================================
"I say Arthur, I'm not sure the new look becomes you."
-Ford Prefect, THHGTR