I've been playing with a pair of fanfics, but lost them when my last job
ended, and I had a disk space problem, a headache, and too little sleep.

  I tried rewriting this one, but I still don't see where it's going.

  Originally I thought it would have alot of Nabiki, but right now it's a bit
of a monologue. So here's an extreme Beta with the idea:

  Author winds in a fanfic, with minimal Japanese language skills, and no
ability to survive fights.

  Coments and Criticisms needed. No disrespect for the other authors who
entered their own stories intended.

  Tentative title: Arrival

  It was a typical Saturday morning at the Tendo dojo. Ranma and Genma had
succeeded in splashing each other during their morning sparring. Both families
were seated around the breakfast table, enjoying Kasumi's cooking. Ranma and
Akane were bickering at a low level. Ranma hadn't said anything really stupid,
or open to misinterpretation, yet; they were just letting everyone know that
they didn't care for each other deeply, and that they had no intention of
marrying.

  An odd splash from the carp pond caught everyone's attention. Odd because
no-one usually entered the carp pond unless they were both Jusenkyo cursed and
the recipient of violent transportation. Since Akane and Ranma were sitting
relatively quietly, everyone wondered why Shampoo might want Mouse to land at
the Tendo's (Shampoo always had had enough control to choose her destinations
pretty well).

  Everyone was surprised to find an unconscious westerner floating (luckily)
face up. After a brief, pointless, round of accusations over which Saotome was
responsible for this arrival, Kasumi requested Ranma and Genma to carry their
new guest into the main room, and lay him down on a futon. Their new guest was
1.95m, 165Kg (6'6", 360lbs for our American readers), definitely overweight,
wearing thick glasses (though not as bad as Mouse) and had relatively long
brown hair. He was dressed in a printed T-shirt (a copy of Van Gogh's
Sun-flowers), blue-jeans, and black sneakers.

  While Kasumi checked for obvious injuries, and made sure he was warm, Nabiki
found his wallet, and looked for information. "American dollars, about 25,000
yen worth... IDs... He's Neil Reynolds from New York, computer
programmer. All of his cards are for stores, companies and people in New
York. No Yen, no travel items, no photos of other people. Only connection to
Japan is two business cards for Japanese bookstores in New York. He's also
likely to miss his next dental appointment." Nabiki returned everything to his
wallet, seeing Ranma's raised eye she said "Of course I wouldn't take
anything. I'm not a crook." Ranma didn't think to keep from commenting "He'll
probably owe you it all anyway in a week." Akane followed through with a
mallet to Ranma's head.

  As it was a school day, Nabiki, Akane, and Ranma had to leave. Genma and
Soun played go, and Kasumi enjoyed one of the more relaxing mornings. After
finding out their guest had no serious injuries, she cleaned up the breakfast
mess, straightened out the main room, started the laundry, did the shopping,
kept tea prepared for the two fathers, made lunch for the whole family,
prepared hot water for Ranma's arrival home, finished the laundry, and
otherwise relaxed while waiting for the others to come home.

  Shortly after a noisily devoured lunch, while the Saotomes were sparring in
the dojo their guest started to wake up. Akane and Nabiki were curious what
his story would be, Kasumi was of course the perfect host.

Kasumi: Father, I think he's coming to.

Neil: Sumimasen, watashi wa nihongo ga wakarimasen. Koko wa doko ka?

Nabiki (in English): You were unconscious. You are in Tokyo. How much Japanese
do you know?

Neil: Little. I have Japanese-American friends, and learned a bit as a hobby.
How did I get here?

Kasumi (in English): We don't know. We found you passed out in our pond. Are
you feeling OK? We could take you to doctor.

Neil: Doumo Arigato, just confused. Thank you for taking care of me. The last
thing I remember was walking down a street in New York.

Kasumi (in English): If you need a few days to recover, you are welcome to
stay here. I'm Tendo Kasumi.

  Nabiki was watching this exchange, trying to read Neil's expression.
Kasumi's last statement produced a wide mix of emotions. Mostly relief and
thanks, until she said her name. Then His face went through surprise, delight,
and disbelief in extremely short order. Kasumi, of course either missed it, or
ignored it. Neil looked at the other two sisters, while Kasumi continued
introductions.

Kasumi (in English): This is Nabiki, and Akane, and our father Soun.

  Neil's face had an odd grin on his face which turned into a mixture of fear
and worry.

Neil: I'm Neil Reynolds. Thank you for your kindness. My Japanese is horrible,
but I will try to improve it. I don't know how I got here, but I will try to
avoid imposing on your hospitality. Is there anyone else I'm likely to meet
here?

Kasumi (in English): The Saotomes are in the dojo, Saotome Ranma, and his
father Genma.

Neil: I know this seems odd having just woken up, but I feel about to fall
asleep again.

Kasumi: Father can you help him to the other guest room?

Neil: Thank you all so much.

  After getting upstairs, Neil quickly fell asleep, even though it was still
early afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  It was a typical Sunday morning at the Tendo dojo. Akane had left for her
jog, Kasumi had started preparing for breakfast, Ranma and Genma were about to
begin sparring. Kasumi asked Nabiki to see how their new guest was doing.

  Nabiki knocked on the guest door, and entered when he invited her. He had
obviously woken a while ago, and had spent a few hours in thought about his
situation. Nabiki announced breakfast would be ready in 20 minutes, and after
pleasantries had been exchanged, asked Neil

  Nabiki (in English): You seemed to recognize our names, how?

  Neil: I have an... odd story. If you don't mind, I'd like to tell it to you.
I swear it is true as far as I know, but I'm slightly unsure of my own memory
because I don't know how I got here, and because it seems so crazy. I'll leave
it to you to decide how much of this you think your family should know.

  When I started learning Japanese I also became interested in Manga and
Anime. Some had been translated into English, and I found translations for
many Manga, and bought the original. One series that was very popular had
characters with your names. Tendo Soun and his 3 daughters, Kasumi, Nabiki,
and Akane, and Saotome Genma, and his son Ranma. Soun and Genma engaged Ranma
to Akane. Ranma and Akane fought a-lot. And Ranma suffered a curse that made
him female when he was splashed with cold water. Genma turned into a panda the
same way.

  Nabiki: Well, so far you have a match. No one told you about the curses or
the engagement yesterday. What else do you know about us?

  Neil: Kasumi is in charge of keeping the house functioning smoothly. Akane
is kindhearted, but has a temper. She practices kenpo. Doesn't deal with boys
well. She is being pursued by Kuno Tatewaki, an obsessed Kendo captain in your
class. Everyone that Ranma and Akane deal with daily tend to be violent. Their
fathers are both martial artists so they can defend themselves. Kasumi helps
everyone so no one would ever think of attacking her, and you are too clever
to be directly drawn into any conflict. From my reading, you never used
martial arts, you were the only one to understand everything going on around
you, and are one of the most clever people in the ward. The only person to
show up in the series who might be on par with you in intelligence had decades
of experience, and the two of you never got into direct conflict so it was
impossible to compare you two. This is why I'd prefer to discuss all of this
with you.

  Nabiki: Everything you said matches up pretty well. Either you've read about
us, or you've had us watched for a long time. You would have been noticed if
you were in the neighborhood. If this is a story where you come from, at what
point in the story are we at? Do you know our futures?

  Neil: How many people right now want to date Ranma and Akane, and who wants
to kill Ranma?

  Nabiki: You're kidding, this is how you figure out where in the story we are?
Let's see, Kuno wants to date both of them, but wants to defeat the male
Ranma. Half the boys in school ambush Akane to get a date. Akane hits Ranma
regularly.

  Neil: We're near the beginning. Akane hitting Ranma will remain constant.
Kuno will remain constant. More violent people will arrive shortly. My life
expectancy has dropped very low, and I'm trapped in one of the worst cliches
in fan-fiction. I've been thinking over this possibility for a couple of hours.
This is the worst possible scenario for me. One wrong move on my part, and I
might not survive. I don't know how I can turn this to your advantage, but the
only way I can see me surviving the next few days is with your help. I promise
I will do my best to see that you turn a profit in dealing with me, but I
don't know how yet. Will you help me?

  Nabiki: What are you so worried about?

  Neil: I'm surrounded by people who mean well, but when angry often resort to
violence that'd kill me. No one here knows me at all, and I know way too much
about everyone's personal life, and their future. The only way to avoid people
wanting me silenced would be to say nothing, and forget all I know, but then I
have nothing of value here. Also I have no way out, since I don't know how I
got here.

  Nabiki: I see. Let me think about this, and we can talk after breakfast. In
any event, you're going to have to tell me a-lot more about yourself to make up
for all you know about me. For now, don't tell this to everyone.

  Breakfast proceeds more or less normally. Neil is introduced to the
Saotomes, who are sticking to their uncursed forms. Ranma and Akane aren't
bickering due to the guest present. Nabiki surprises everyone at the end of
the meal by announcing she's going to show Neil where everything is in the
ward, and try to find out more about how he got here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Nabiki: In order for us to deal honestly with each other, we have to even
out our differences. Without telling me about my future, you have to tell me
what you know about me, and tell me an equal bit about yourself.

  Neil: Well I can tell you what I know about you easier than I can describe
myself. Telling anyone about yourself is always hard, and I've always found it
harder than most. I should warn you that much of what I have to say about you
is speculation, and not all of it my own. I'll try to tell you what are my
beliefs, and what others have said, so please don't hold others ideas against
me.

  Nabiki: You make it sound pretty bad!

  Neil: The books concentrated on the relationship between Ranma and Akane,
none of the stories focused on you directly. The motives for your actions were
left as an exercise for the reader. You've been portrayed as everything from a
heartless devil to a near saint. The only thing people seem to agree upon
about you are your powers of observation of what goes on around you, and your
ability when you get involved in directing outcomes your way

  At this point in the story the readers have only seen your deals with Kuno.
Most everyone agrees that any money you can get out of Kuno is fair game. If
he were just a rich idiot some people might feel sorry for him, but with all
of the trouble he causes, it's only fair that he pays for it. Selling pictures
of Akane and Ranma raised questions. Some of the pictures of Ranma were a bit
too explicit, but since Ranma doesn't have much physical modesty as a girl, he
doesn't care. The biggest problem is selling pictures to a drooling pervert,
but that's offset by the fact he'd set them anyway, and this way the money
comes back to your family.

  Your biggest image problem was that the readers only saw you for a while
concerned with money. This made you look very one-sided. Later on you did try
to help Ranma and Akane with problems that came up, but your help was always
oblique. In addition, you were seen as one of the few people that could
actually fix their problems in spite of themselves, so everyone wonders why
you didn't.

  Also, since you are the only character who can successfully pursue your
goals, and the story doesn't mention anything about your private life, there
have been a large number of speculations on it. Being intelligent, and as
attractive as your sisters, it's felt you could have any relationship you
wanted. If you decided on someone, they would eventually get the hint,
reciprocate and the lucky guy would be happy for life. But it would have to be
instigated by you. You're a dominant person in a world where women are mostly
submissive. I could run down the list of people you have been written as being
paired with, but you haven't met most of them yet. They all have one thing in
common though. You picked the guy, and then he pursues you

  Nabiki: Why all of this concern over relationships?

  Neil: Didn't I mention it? The story is a romantic comedy. The engagement
between Akane and Ranma is just the start. Pretty soon this ward will be full
of people who violently love and hate one another in such a bizarre tangle
that many of the characters have trouble deciding who's a friend and who's a
foe at a given moment. Any disagreement will polarize all parties briefly.
Alliances change in a moment. Only you, Kasumi, and Dr. Tofu are exempt. Soon
we'll be up to our arms with people who can't say `I love you', but have no
trouble with `Prepare to die!'. This is one of the reasons I'm so desperate to
achieve exempt status.

  Nabiki: Earlier you said `I'm trapped in one of the worst cliches', what did
you mean?

  Neil: Many people would write stories about the characters in the main story
to explore possibilities that the original author never bothered with, or
deemed inappropriate. One of the most common types were where the author
writes themselves into the story. About half of the time they know the future
and decide to fix all of the problems that the characters have, and most of
the time they are strong enough so that only Ranma can defeat them, and
they're Ranma's friend. It had gotten so widespread that stories that poked
fun at the subgroup arose, and stories that looked like the same old plot, but
with original twists arose. Some of the stories were utterly forgettable, and
some of the stories provided just the right framework for the authors to
create something truly interesting or thought provoking. A few were silly,
but just plain fun.

  Nabiki: OK, now try to tell me a bit about yourself.

  Neil: Alright, I'll try. When I grew up, everyone assumed I'd be intelligent
and successful. My parents sent me to tough schools, and made sure I was doing
the work. I never really saw them as pushing me, though. It was just the way I
assumed was normal for everyone. I followed their advice about what to do
through college, never really having any big goals. Opportunities were
presented to me, and I took them. I got a strong education in theoretical
math, computer science and electrical engineering, and then realized I had no
real goals in my life. I value my friendships highly, and the friends I made
have lasted years, but I don't make friendships easily. I'm more likely to
remain distant from people. That may be my biggest two flaws. 

  Currently I have a third, because I don't know what I want, my energy level
has dropped very low. I've been working on fixing this lately.

  Nabiki: Energy level?

  Neil: I tend to be lethargic, as well as introverted. A bad combination. My
last house-mate moved away to follow his girlfriend, so I've been living alone
for a while. I'm both looking forward to, and apprehensive of staying in your
house with your family. That's all I really have to say about myself, unless
you have any questions.

  Nabiki: Maybe later. What are we going to do with you, though. If we are
just fiction where you're from, we've got a larger problem than just getting
you an airline ticket to New York.

  Neil: The only person I would think to ask is still in China, and won't
appear here until most of the confusion is in place.

  Nabiki: You've said a-lot of people would show up, who's first?

  Neil: An old classmate of Ranma's named Hibiki Ryouga. You'll have about a
weeks warning before you have to deal with him. He'll drop by, leave for a
week, and then you'll meet him. Describing him would take a while, and I'd
have to think about what I should and shouldn't say first.