Peter L. Ward verbalized:
-------------- Enclosure number 1 ----------------
Magical Girl Fanfic Theater
By Peter L. Ward
Starring:
- Miyakawa Mika as Exquisite Soldier Lovely Freesia
- Toriyama Akiko as Exquisite Soldier Crimson Rose
- Mura Natsumi as Exquisite Soldier Golden Poppy
- and Penko as herself
Tonight's Feature Presentation: Tenchi Muyo! Bug Bash
by AlberCrombie
[The lights come up on our three regular reviewers with their
robotic mascot, Penko. All three are seated with Penko in Mika's
lap and Mika looking a bit self-conscious over her uniform.]
[Gopher pops up from under the third row of seats]
Gopher: Whoa, MAMA! Magical girls, skimpy outfits, and *POPCORN*!!!!
Whoohoo!
[Out of nowhere a Panda pops up and plasters Gopher with a big ass spatula.
*THWACK* Then wanders out looking for Ukyo]
Gopher: Thanks, I needed that... Now, onto the review.
Tenchi Muyo! Bug Bash
by AlberCrombie (gopher@venus.net)
Gopher: Cool, I got reviewed. ;)
[Akiko]
Anyway, shouldn't that be "onboard", not "on board"?
In defense of the attrocity of spelling on my part, I must say that my
system currently has no spell checker on board. Thus, a lot of repetitive,
stupid spelling errors. I'm trying to watch it.
Every time that Mihoshi went to her floating HQ at Jupiter to make a
report it was always the same on return to Earth; she kept forgetting that
the Earth didn't have automatic landing beacons beaming landing instructions
to incoming ships. Because of this, each time, Yukinojo had to remind her
to land the ship by hand, and each time, she would blow it, and he - along
with the rest of the ship - would 'become one' with the planet below. He
seemed destened to spend eternity as a huge lump of scrap, devoid of
electronic life. At least until the wonderful Washu-chan rebuild him and
the rest of the ship.
-----
[Mika]
I thought that was her mothership, not her HQ.
Sort of the same thing - it's HER headquarters, not the Galaxy Police.
Granted I like 'mothership' better.
[Akiko]
I thought so too. At least we're getting a point of view other than
Tenchi and the horde, and that's from Mihoshi's long-suffering ship's
computer.
You just gotta feel sorry for the guy- he has to deal with (ick!) Mihoshi.
[Mika]
I can certainly empathize with Yukinojo or anyone who has to deal with
Mihoshi on a regular basis...
[Natsumi]
Why?
[Mika]
Forget I said anything...
Gopher: You, too, have my sympathy. If you want, I can show you how much
sympathy!
Mika : BAKA HENTAI! *WHAP*
Gopher: Yeah, and...? (ow.)
[Later, after piecing the fragments of his memory back together, Yukinojo
figured out that Mihoshi paniced, fired her pistol, hit his left visual
sensor causing him to scream (wouldn't you?), and then she collapsed
screaming on the floor as the 'thing' slammed into.]
-----
[Mika]
Slammed into...? What?
um.... 'as the 'thing' slammed into her.' Gomen.
Just then, the Ship's breaking system disingaged and started
to plummit straight down into Masaki lake below. Right before the impact,
Yukinojo fired a distress call to Washu-chan with practiced ease.
-----
[Penko]
Shouldn't that be "plummet"?
Gopher: Stupid non-existant spell checker!
"Just as I thought - Yukinojo went ker-plunk again. *Sigh* He has
too tough of a life for a simple police computer. Oh, well, I'll get to him
a little later."
She went back to hacking on Subnet - Galaxian equivilent of the
Internet.
[Mika]
Gee, I didn't know ancient video games had their own networks...
[Akiko]
Maybe he meant to say "Galactic"...
Gopher: No, I like the term 'Galaxian' more than 'Galactic' - It's my
fanfic, and I'll describe the Subnet as I want. So there.
Mika: Well, excuse us Mr. high and mighty Gopher.
Akiko: [whispering] Watch how you insult him, something tells me he could
take is as a compliment!
[Penko]
Any thoughts so far, girls?
[Mika]
So far, so good. A few spelling and other minor errors, but we have
the makings of a really good story here.
[Akiko]
Characterizations are really good, and using Yukinojo's POV made
things really interesting.
[Mika]
Yeah, you gotta feel for the poor bot.
Well, so far so good.....
[Akiko]
I think I'll pass, then. Gotta keep my figure for this costume...
[Mika]
Same here, especially since so much more of it can be seen in my
costume...
Gopher: Ooh! Don't I know! o_O
Mika: Watch it!
[The Gopher smiles wickedly and just stares. Mika realized what she just
said and baps her head for being stupid...then baps the Gopher.]
[Mika]
Oh, good! Another POV from a character we don't hear from much,
except for her myaa'ing.
[Penko]
I like it! It's not often that us mascots get to tell at least part
of the story.
I like to do this - it adds new flavor to old stories.
*sigh* What a life.
Well, just that moment in her life, Ryo-oh-ki was wishing she could
have been doing *ANY* of that. Instead, she was hiding under the sun-room's
sofa trying to cover her fluffy ears to block out the noise.
[Akiko]
Anyone notice the change in indentation here?
[Mika]
You mean how it went from a full tab to just a single space?
I dunno what happened - I just checked the copy that actually came across
the FFML - it was indented with full tabs. I guess somewhere along the
line, the tabs were converted to spaces at your end of things. In my master
copy, it has tabs.
Ryoko had a new CD on the stereo...
Worse, it was a rather loud CD...
Worse yet, Washu had connected a 'special' amp to the reciever...
[Mika]
Sure, I don't think my folks would mind you watching it at all. By
the way, shouldn't the CD be *in* the stereo instead of *on* it?
No - I'm old - its a bleed over from the vinyl era. "Throw a record *ON* the
stereo, man. Make it In-a-goda-divita!" Just showing my age
(personality-wise, that is).
Then again, some things you really can't get used to. By the way,
with the exploding amps and stereos, you think AlberCrombie's
borrowing from another 20th century movie?
[Akiko]
Back to the Future?
[Mika]
Yup.
Um, no. No movie references here, at all.
"Well, I expected something like this sooner or later after Mihoshi
told us of her encounter on her police cruiser. And I just happened to be
checking the various monitors about the house and grounds when I saw one of
Mihoshi's bugs next to the stereo, so I knew something was going to happen.
You're lucky, I noticed you coming down the steps and had just enough time
to suck you into the safety of the lab through one of my blackholes before
the stereo went on maximum overdrive. You're pretty lucky!" She dropped the
piece of junk she was holding and scooted up to Tenchi, "actually, after we
get all this mess cleaned up, if you want to 'get lucky' again...." She
learned her head on Tenchi's chest.
[Mika]
She just doesn't give up, does she?
[Akiko]
She's nearly as bad as her daughter and Aeka.
Gopher: I like determined people myself...
[Akiko and Mika pound Gopher before he can make any comments about being a
determined Gopher]
[All three girls and the robopet]
Awwwww!!!! Poor Ryo-oh-ki!!!!!!
Gopher: AH! Some others who find the sight of a crying cabbit the most
disturbing thing in the universe.
-----
[All three girls and their mascot are too busy sobbing and bawling
to comment at the moment...]
Gopher: well, I guess I got the response I was looking for.
"Yup! That's me!" She grinned like she was going to explode. "I'm
Skuld, System debugger First Class! Yoroshiku!" Skuld bowed.
-----
[Mika]
Gee...I think Skuld's been picking up a bad habit from her older
sister...
[Akiko]
Which one?
[Mika]
The habit of inflating one's position and status. Last I checked,
Skuld got demoted to being an Earth Trainee at the end of the AMG
anime...
You try to reference tapes that are currently packed and awaiting to be
moved to another city! Hrmph! ;)
[Akiko]
That's it for now! At least until AlberCrombie puts out part 2.
[Mika]
This was a good fic! A few, *ahem*, bugs to work out, but quite good.
[Akiko]
Yes, it was. I was going to ask how Washuu knew about goddesses and
bugs, but she's 20,000 years old. She ought to have learned a thing
or two about them in that time, even accounting for the millenia in
deep-freeze.
Do not underestimate the powers of the genius! HEHEHEHEHEHEEH!
Well, thanks for the review, I'll put the C&C to work. In the meantime,
I'll keep work on the next installment.
l8r
AlberCrombie
--==---==-=-=-=-=-====-==-----===-=-====-----=-==-=-=-=-=-===-=-====---===--=
AlberCrombie - Hentai Space Gopher e-mail: gopher@venus.net
http://www.venus.net/~gopher **fansubs available here**
_/\ Ranma 1/2 _/\ Maison Ikkoku _/\ Cuety Honey _/\ F^3 \_/ Dragon Pink _/\_
spatulating -verb; the act of delivering an person or object to an
appointed destination by spatula force. Commonly used by
Okonomiyaki experts as a transportation device and as a
weapon.