I knew I forgot something with that last note.....

l8r
AlberCrombie


			Tenchi Muyo!  Bug Bash
		by AlberCrombie (gopher@venus.net)

Corrections due to the FFML, Chris 'Ryoga' Willmore, and Peter Ward

				Prologue

	In our galaxy there are things we have yet to comprehend; stars with
no names, gases that defy recognition, planets which hide from sight. 
However, there are other things that cause more confusion for those who know
of them.  For example, once they meet her, few are able to explain why the
Galaxy Police would ever accept people like....

	"MIHOSHI!!!!!!!"
	"huh?"  The Galaxy Policwoman said as she twisted her control cube
for the nth^3 time.
	"HIT THE BRAKES!!!!!!!"  Yukinojo screamed.  He was the police
crusier's onboard computer and his panic circuits were overloading.  He had
made this trip too many times, and he was not thrilled about the idea
of ending up as scrap metal once again.  
	Every time that Mihoshi went to her mothership stationed at Jupiter
to make a report it was always the same on return to Earth; she kept
forgetting that the Earth didn't have automatic landing beacons beaming
landing instructions to incoming ships.  Because of this, each time,
Yukinojo had to remind her to land the ship by hand, and each time, she
would blow it, and he - along with the rest of the ship - would 'become one'
with the planet below. He seemed destened to spend eternity as a huge lump
of scrap, devoid of electronic life.  At least until the wonderful
Washu-chan could rebuild him and the rest of the ship one more time.
	Yukinojo wondered how long the genius of the galaxy would keep
rebuilding him and the ship for Mihoshi.  For that matter, he also pondered,
how long she would (or could) put up with Mihoshi  Questions for another
day, providing he lived long enough to see one.
	Somehow, tho, Mihoshi actually hit the brakes with the flurry of
button punching and lever twisting that followed from Yukinojo's abrupt
alarm.  The ship leveled out and slowed it's descent.  The ship-board
computer breathed a sigh of relief; he would *HAVE* to talk to Washu about
giving him control of the ship's main flight functions.  A computer was not
supposed to have humanoid features, but he was deffinately gaining a
noticable twitch everytime he thought about Mihoshi's driving, or worse, her
landings.
	"All better!"  She smiled at the metallic face in front of her.
	"Thankfully, for once," he mumbled in reply.  How someone so empty
of common sense made the Galaxy Police, Yukinojo still hadn't figured out. 
He folded his 'neck', the mobile arm that connected his head to the ceiling,
and went back to working on some various ship projects.  Mihoshi went back
to fiddling with her cube.
	That was another thing that disturbed Yukinojo - why no one had
taken the blasted thing away from her.  She had proved many times that she
had not one clue on how to operate it, yet she was determined to continualy
fiddle with it until she got it right.  The problem, thought the McDonald's
Fry-guy shaped computer, was that the 'it' that was to be 'right'
constantly changed because she constantly forgot what she was working on!
One minute she might be trying to get the ship to make a cup of coffee then
the next she would be trying to convince the toaster oven to dry the cat. 
If she would just work on one idea, she might actually get it.
	Yukinojo prayed that she would never use it on him - he had
nightmares of being turned into a 1946 Dodge, a Mr. Coffee, or worse, a
galactic parking meter; it was things like this that always brought his
100,000 mile maintance check 20,000 miles early.  He glanced at the status
monitor and noticed they would both land in one piece, for once, at the
Jurian's Prince Tenchi's home.  He was glad.

	Mihoshi twisted her cube this way and that trying to get it to
make... uh, she wasn't sure any more.  The cocoa-skinned blonde just
shrugged and decided she must have been after a cup of coffee, so she twisted
the cube one time to the right, once to the left, and then back twice to the
right.
	No coffee, but the overhead lighting went *fizzl* then shorted out.
	"Oh, darn!"
	Yukinojo stuck his 'head' out from his little hidey hole in the
ceiling.  Good, he wasn't a parking meter yet.  He closed back up and hid
some more.
	Mihoshi twisted and cranked the cube a few more times and then in a
fit of anger, slammed the cube down on the desk in front of her.  Yukinojo's
positronic life flashed in front of his sensors when he realized what just
happened.  Abusing a control cube was a good way to complete the impossible
and improbable at the same time.  For example, if you wanted to generate the
hulking wreck of the Titanic at three parsecs from Earth, slam your control
cube into a brick wall for a while.  Why?  Because, it might just work.
	"Shoot!  I can never get this to work right!" 
	She didn't notice that the cube gleamed with a sickly, pale light
after it impacted with the desk, but she did notice the rustling sound that
appeared behind her right as the gleam disappeared.
	"What's that?!"  She stutered.  Looking around, she noticed movement
from the darkened corner.  
	"Uh....I'm a Galaxy Police office..." she gulped "...ficer, c-c-come
out!"  
	Yukinojo, sticking his head out againg to survey any possible
damage, noted that bravery was not part of her more appealing traits, but he
had to give her credit with her duty - she may be scared but she was ready
for what ever would happen next.  She had her laser pistol out and pointed
at the darkened corner.
	"aahhhh....I don't want to hurt you!  Come out of there!  Please!" 
	The something in the darkness shifted again.  Mihoshi whimpered, and
tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, she hated not knowing what was
going on.  But, being a Galaxy Police officer had reinforced the sense of
survival in her, she tightened the grip on her pistol and aimed into the
center of the dark corner.
	Yukinojo stayed silent - there wasn't anything he could do.  He just
prayed that if she fired she wouldn't hit him or anything else vital to the
ship!  If a computer could sweat, he would have been losing gallons right
then.
	Mihoshi stood up from her command seat. "Alright, I'm going to
come over there!  D-d-don't you move!"  She took a step forward and the
something in the darkness jumped; straight for her.
	"AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
	*BBBBRRRTTTZZZZ*  
	"EEEIIKKK!!!!!"  
	*THUD*
	"YYYYEEEEEEKK!"

[Later, after piecing the fragments of his memory back together, Yukinojo
figured out that Mihoshi paniced, fired her pistol, hit his left visual
sensor causing him to scream (wouldn't you?), and then she collapsed
screaming on the floor as the 'thing' slammed into her.]

	Mihoshi nerviously blinked and looked at the thing sitting on her
lap. It was about the size of Ryo-oh-ki but was white and fuzzy, googly eyes,
ears like a rabbit, and 8 spindly legs.  It just looked at her and wiggled
its nose.
	"You're cute!"  She squeeked, forgetting her fear.  She reached out
and rubbed its ears.  Almost as if in response, the Ship's breaking system
disengaged and the ship started to plummet straight down into Masaki lake
below.  
	Right before the impact, Yukinojo fired a distress call to
Washu-chan with practiced ease.

			*	*	*

			BOOM!!!!!!

	An explosion shook Washu's sub-dimension lab.  She looked up from
her computer terminal towards a panel on a nearby piece of equipment. 
There, on the top, blinked a little red light.
	"Just as I thought - Yukinojo's gone ker-plunk again. *Sigh* He has
too tough of a life for a simple police computer.  Oh, well, I'll get to him
a little later." 
	She went back to hacking on Subnet - Galaxian equivilent of the
Internet.

			*	*	*

	"WWAAAAHHH!!!!!!"
	"Now, Mihoshi, there's no need to cry, Washu-chan will get your ship
rebuilt...again." Tenchi added that last word after he realized that this
was the fifth time in a year that Washu would be called upon to rebuild
Mihoshi's crusier.  Definitely a new record.
	"*Sniff*  But I just had it fixed!  And it was working so well for
once!"  The wet blonde pulled the blanket tighter around her soaking body. 
Somehow, she always figured out a way to survive the impact of her ship and
the bottom of Masaki lake.
	Sasami handed her a nice, hot cup of tea and Ryo-oh-ki climbed up
and cuddled into Mihoshi's lap trying to comfort her.  
	"If you didn't keep going back to make reports you wouldn't have
this problem." Ryoko said, hovering only a few feet away.
	"But, it's part of my job!"  Mihoshi cried,  "I'm supposed to do
things like that!"
	Ryoko desperately tried to not teleport screaming from the room as
Mihoshi flashed her big, empty, blue, saucer-like eyes at the space pirate. 
Having to deal with that view too long would drive anybody nuts.
	"I mean, if I don't...OH NO!" Horror gripped Mihoshi. "Where is
it!?" Scattering her support group, she frantically started to search about
the room.  "It was here before the crash!  I saw it!  I know it made it out! 
Has anybody seen it?"
	"Huh, seen what?" Ryoko cried, now hovering safely out of Mihoshi's
paniced search.
	"The little rabbit thing!  It was with me on the ship, and I know I
saw it here a few minutes ago, so I know it survived the crash.  But where
did it get to?"  
	Sasami cringed as Mihoshi ran into the kitchen and started to
scatter various pots and dishes about from the cabinets.
	"...Rabbit thing...?"
	Tenchi and crew turned to the new voice, it was Washu's.  She had
just stepped from her laboratory to see a frantic Mihoshi tear past.  "What
kind of 'rabbit thing'?"
	Mihoshi stepped from the kitchen now covered with flour and soy
sauce. "The little rabbit thing with eight legs that popped up in the ship
right before I crashed.  I saw a few minutes ago, I want to find it and make
sure it's not hurt!"  Then she bolted out the front door to look outside. 
	Sasami, with cabbit on top, raced into the kitchen and screamed when
she saw the mess Mihoshi had made on her bizarre quest.
	Washu didn't say anything, she just stood there and pondered. 
"Hmmmm....'rabbit thing'...'eight legs'.  This isn't good."  With that she
turned and headed back into her lab.  
	"What's up Washu-chan?" Tenchi asked.  He knew the look on her face,
and he knew it wasn't good.
	She stopped, halfway into the darkness that was her lab, and looked
back at him, "I have to go make a bug report."


				Chapter one

	Ever wondered what it would be like to be a cabbit?  Being cute and
addorable, eating carrots all day, hanging out with Tenchi and crew,
occationally transforming into a space ship and playing with morons like
Kagato and Dr. Clay...
	*sigh* What a life.
	Well, just that moment in her life, Ryo-oh-ki was wishing she could
have been doing *ANY* of that.  Instead, she was hiding under the sun-room's
sofa trying to cover her fluffy ears to block out the noise.

	Ryoko had a new CD on the stereo...
	Worse, it was a rather loud CD...
	Worse yet, Washu had connected a 'special' amp to the reciever...

	In other words...it was *VERY* loud.

	[To steal a quote from _Spinal Tap_ : "This one goes to eleven."]

			*	*	*

	*THUMPATHUMPATHUMPABOOMBOOMSCREEEEEEEEEETHUMPATHUMPA* 

	Ryoko nimbly danced about; sometimes on the ground, sometimes
levitating.  While it was true she had been imprisoned on earth for 700
years, somehow, through it all she had completely missed out on the evoution
of popular music.  So to atone for the error, she now constantly brought
home new music (where she got the CDs or the money for them, no one really
wanted to ask) which immediately got popped into the stereo in the sun-room
at the back of the house.
	She was enjoying herself emmensly with her latest aquisition, "Frogs
On Acid - The Quiet Years".  But she was the only one; a very ugly looking
Tenchi stood at the top of the steps gazing down through half closed
eyelids.
	"Ryoko, I'm trying to sleep!!!!"  He got no reply other than Ryoko's
continued gyrations.  "Geez, of all the times that Grandpa wanted to do an
all night training session, why did it have to be last night... RYOKO!!!!!!"
Realizing that shouting over the din was like trying to get Ryo-oh-ki to not
eat the carrot patch, it just couldn't be done, he settled for the direct
approach.
	Tenchi plodded down the steps towards the twirling demon wondering
if it was possible to lock her back up in the cave where he found her.  As
he hit the last step he noticed something out of the corner of his eye; it
was small and by the base of the stereo.  He could swear it was white with
multiple legs, but he never got the chance to check - a Tenchi-sized black
hole appeared and swallowed him whole.
	Just before the world went completely black, he heard a loud
explosion and Ryoko's scream.

			*	*	*
	The blackness receeded from Tenchi as quick as it came, but instead
of standing on the steps in the Masaki house, he was now below the house, or
rather - 'next to the house' in another dimension.  Tenchi was standing in
Washu's lab.
	"Well, come on, we gotta go see what 'Little Miss Destruction' has
got herself into this time."
	Tenchi blinked away the remaining sleep from his eyes. "Wha? 
Washu!?  What's going on?" He jogged to catch up the crab haired genious who
was heading for the lab's exit.
	Simple, I sucked you into the lab before the stereo exploded."  She
opened a round-topped door and stepped into the dimensional matrix beyond.
The matrix emptied into the neighboring dimension, which just happened to be
the Masaki sun-room.  Tenchi followed and gasped when he reached the 'real
world'.  The sun-room was a mess; worse it was missing an outside wall.
	Washu just glanced about and took in all the desctrution as calmly as
someone looking for a can of soup at the grocery story.  "I figured as
much."  She found something interesting where the stereo used to be and
poked through the few non-disintigrated pieces.
	The young Juraian prince quickly scanned through the debris.  The
outer wall was completely removed.  Bit of it remained scattered on the
deck, but most of it was now either floating or sinking in the lake.  The
rest of the room wasn't any better; the sofa overturned, windows and picture
frames shattered, assorted furniture in various states of broke.  The one
thing he didn't see was the dancer.
	"RYOKO!!!"  Tenchi ran through the missing wall and onto the deck
overlooking Masaki Lake.  "RYOKO?!?!"
	"I wouldn't worry about her, Tenchi, she's a big girl."  Washu
called from the debris laden room.
	He briefly looked over the lake, then walked back to Washu.  She was
right, an explosion like that wouldn't seriously hurt Ryoko, but Tenchi was
still worried, "But what happened?  And how did you know that this would
happen?"
	"Well, I expected something like this sooner or later after Mihoshi
told us of her encounter on her police cruiser.  And I just happened to be
checking the various monitors about the house and grounds when I saw one of
Mihoshi's bugs next to the stereo, so I knew something was going to happen. 
You're lucky, I noticed you coming down the steps and had just enough time
to suck you into the safety of the lab through one of my blackholes before
the stereo went on maximum overdrive.  You're pretty lucky!" She dropped the
piece of junk she was holding and scooted up to Tenchi, "actually, after we
get all this mess cleaned up, if you want to 'get lucky' again...." She
learned her head on Tenchi's chest.
	"WASHU!" Tenchi fired back, holding the red-head at a distance
trying not to think about what she was offering. "What about Ryoko!?!"
	"Oh, she can wait her turn until we're done...." She noticed his
glare at her. "OH!  You mean where is she?  She's over there in the bushes. 
I spotted her when I stepped out from the lab."

	Tenchi ran over to the corner of the house and did indeed find a
very out to lunch Ryoko lying in the midsts of the bushes.  She was mumbling
something about the music being a bit too loud.
	"Ryoko, are you alright?"
	"Wahh...turrn the music don a notch, would ya, I can'd hear ya."
With that, her eyes rolled back in her head and she completely passed out. 
Tenchi carefully picked her up and carried her back in to the house.  Washu
turned the sofa upright so he could place Ryoko on it.  She then started to
examine her daughter.
	"Nah, didn't think so, no broken bones.  She's just K.O.'d.  She'll
be up in a few minutes."  
	This was good news to Tenchi, he knew that a small explosion like
that wouldn't damage the space vixen, but he didn't still didn't like to see
her hurt.  He started to glance about the room again, when he saw a bit of
brown fluff move under some rubble.
	"RYO-OH-KI!!!"
	"MeerrrrrrrooooooooOOOOWWWWW!!"  
	Tenchi may not have been too worried about permanent damage to
Ryoko, but damage to his favorite cabbit, was a different matter.  Cabbits
may have been made from crystal matter, but they were still fragile.  He
quickly scooped up the cabbit and called Washu over.
	"Oh, dear, this looks serious.  Tenchi, carry Ryo-oh-ki into the lab. 
I'll have to look after her there."  
	Ryo-oh-ki looked up at Tenchi with tear filled eyes and let out a
small whimper.  "Don't worry, Ryo-oh-ki, Washu'll fix you up." Tenchi was
headed for the lab door when the front door chimes rang.
	"I'll get it," Washu said, "You just take Ryo-oh-ki down to the
medical level, I'll be there in a minute.  This is could be the folks I've
been expecting."  She headed for the front door.
	"Uh, sure."  With cabbit in hand, Tenchi disappeared into the
blackness of Washu's lab.

			*	*	*
	Washu opened the front door and before her stood a small, slender
black haired girl wearing flowing red and white clothes, with what appeared
to be a croquet mallet slung on her back.
	"Yes?"
	"Ohayo gozaimasu!  I'm looking for a...", she glanced at a ripped
computer printout, "....Ms. Washu?"
	"That's me, call me Washu-chan!  Are you the exterminator?"
	"Yup!  That's me!" She grinned like she was going to explode.  "I'm
Skuld, System debugger First Class!  Yoroshiku!" Skuld bowed.
	"Well, you're here sooner than I thought, but not a minute too late! 
We've already been 'bugged' and I think there's more on the way."
	Skuld frowned, "That's not good.  Acutally, we were on vacation, and
I just happened to check my e-mail on the road.  It turns out that we
weren't too far from here, so I took the case."  
	Washu looked up when Skuld said 'we' and noticed two motorbikes with
sidecars and three other people setting off to the side of the drive way. 
There was one male looking at the engine of a small bike and sidecar.  He
appeared to be about Tenchi's height, maybe a bit smaller.  Next to him was
a long blonde haired girl; Washu thought she saw a family resemblence to
Skuld.  Finally, leaning next to what appeared to be some American oversized
motorcycle was a bored platnum blonde female who reminded Washu of Ryoko,
only with more meat on her bones and more shapely curves.
	The blonde girl walked over and introduced her self, "I'm Beldandy,
it's very nice to meet you."  She too bowed before Washu. "Have you had much
trouble with the bugs?"
	"Well, let's see...", putting a finger to her chin and glancing at
the sky, "not unless you count a falling space ship, an exploding stereo,
and," a thought registered in Washu's brain, "...an injured cabbit!  Excuse
me, I have to go take care of somebody who just got hurt.  In the back room,
you'll find the latest damage.  Ignore Ryoko, she was knocked out from the
explosion, she'll be fine.  Kitchen's off to the right, help yourself.  I'll
be back in a few minutes." With that, she turned and ran for the lab door
and disappeared.
	Beldandy and Skuld just stood there looking at the open doorway.
	"Spaceships?" said Skuld.
	"Stereos?" replied Beldandy.
	They looked at each other, "Cabbits???"

	Beldandy went back and collected her companions at the motorbikes,
while Skuld bounced into the house unslinging her bug bopper.





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