[As we last left our fanfic, I was partly done, while my computer told me to
go off line for a half-hour. Now, whair was I. Oh, yes. The door.]

(Nabiki goes off stage to answer the door. She returns with Ranma in tow. (Bet
you thought it was Kuno, humm.))

Ranma (taking off his hat): Im cadet Ranma. I was sent to check on you and
your sisters.

Nabiki: Im Nabiki, and thats my older sister, Kasumi. Akane is still out
picking flowers for the vase.

Ranma: I found this in a field of wild flowers while coming hear (places
basket on the table). This note was in it (hands Kasumi the note). I did not
read it, since it *is* adressed to "Mr. Tendo and his daughters".

Kasumi (reading it): Oh my!

Nabiki: What does it say, sis?

Kasumi: It says, and I quote "I, the great mastermind, Tatawaki Kuno, has
aducted your most presous flower, who goes by the name Akane. By the end of
the day, we shall be man and wife. If you must come to the wedding, we will
hold it in the abandon saw mill. Signed, Takawaki Kuno."

Nabiki: So, who *are* we going to get to resuce her?

(Both girls look at Ranma, and Ranma gets the sweet drop on his head.)

Ranma: What?

Kasumi: Your a mountie. Why don't *you* resuce her?

Ranma: But im only a cadit. Thay don't even give me a gun yet.

Nabiki: And one way for a cadit to become a full fleged mountie is to capter a
master crimimal.

Ranma: Whats the other way?

Nabiki: How much cash do you have?

Ranma: OK! Im going. (Ranma leaves)

Kasumi: I should make a wedding cake, just in case. Want to help me, Nabiki?

Nabiki: Might as well. I got nothing better to do.

(Thay leave the room).

     [Ninja-types rearange the set so it resembles an saw mill. Kuno and
Sasuki enter, carring Akane, now tied up in ropes.]

Kuno (gently sets Akane down): We must find a chair for my darling befor she
awakens. (Kuno scans the set for a chair. A ninja-type sets a wooden chair
down, and Kuno feches it. Then he places Akane into the chair.) Sasuki, tie
her to the chair, so she dosen't fall off.

Sasuki (tieing Akane to the chair, then saying...): It is done, Master Kuno.

Kuno: She should be awakening just about now.

Akane (grogerly): uhgh...(opens eyes) Whair am I? Why can I not move? (looks
around, and snaps back into awakenness) Boy does this place need cleaning.
(looks at herself) Who's the one who tied me up?!

Kuno: I am, the master crimimal Takawaki Kuno. And you shall be my bride, or
else.

Akane (angerly): Or else what? (she starts strugling with the ropes, but thay
are not coming loose)

Kuno: Thair is allways the alternative.

Akane: Alternative? Whats that?

Kuno: The last two protental brides chose the alternative. The first one
desided to great a train. The other one was crushed by her grief.

Sasuki: I thought we tossed her into a wine press, Master Kuno?

Kuno: Hush, sasuki. We must wait for the justice of the piece.

(Principal Kuno enters, dressed like a justice of the piece.)

Principal Kuno: Aloha!

Akane (mumbling) why am I not surprised?

Kuno: So, what is your choice?

Akane: Do I realy have a choice?

Kuno: Not realy. (looks at his father) Lets begin.

Principal Kuno: Derly beloved, we are gathered hear today to join this fine,
upstanding young man...

Voice From The Audeance: Ya. Sure. Right.

Principal Kuno (to the voice): Shall I continue, or shall I flunk you? (Pause)
Whair was I, son?

Kuno: upstanding young man...

Principal Kuno (continuing): ...to this woman. Do you take her as your bride,
my son?

Kuno: The lovelyness of the lilly. The energy of the dandylion. I will wed
both Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed girl!

Akane (aura flaring up): Back to the play, BAKA! Or did you forget why your on
the stage?

Kuno: Forgive me. (takes a moment to get back in charater, and for Akane's
aura to go away) I do.

Principal Kuno: And do you take this young man as your husben?

Kuno (taping his cane): And it *better* be yes, or else.

Akane (staling): Um, can I think about it some more?

Sasuki (crying): Oh, I just love weddings. (Honks his nose into a hankerchief,
then falls unconsess)

Kuno: Baka! Don't cry into the Cloraform.

Ranma (running into the room): Looks like I got hear just in the nick of time.
(looks at Kuno) Forsing a inosent, if uncute, girl to wed you is evil. (Folds
his arms like Sailor Moon) On behalf of the moon, I shall right wrongs and
tryumph over evil. And that means you!

Eveyone (including the audeance): What the!

Ranma (grinning like a chesterar cat): Sorie for the adlib, but I always
wanted to say that line.

Kuno (preshes a button on his cain, turning it into a sword cain): You can not
punish me if you are full of holes first, mountie.

Ranma (goes into a battle stance): Any time your ready.

(Ranma and Kuno go at it, with Ranma dodging all of Kuno's thrustes. Finaly,
Kuno preshes another button, and a pool of oilish liquid goes under Ranma's
feet, triping him.)

Kuno (plasing the sword cane by Ranma's chest): And now it ends.

Ranma (smiling): And so it does.

(Ranma disarms Kuno, gets up, then chestnut fists him into the air. An
unconsess Kuno lands on top of his father, KOing him. He then rushes over to
Akane's side, and starts to untie her.)

Ranma: Are you allright?

Akane: Untie me faster, Ranma. (Ranma finaly frees Akane from the ropes) Now,
excuse me. (Akane then sunenly materlises behind this fanfic writer, and
mallets him unconsess. Then she returns to the stage and tosses away her
broken mallet like nothing happened).

Ranma (surprised): What was that for?

Akane: I hate bad melodramas. And people who write them.

Ranma: So, now what?

Akane: I think this is the part whair we ride off into the sunset together.

Ninja-Type1: Not so fast. (removes her mask, reveling Ukyou). If Ranchan is
going to ride into the sunset with anyone, it will be me.

Ninja-Type2: You no ride into sunset with Ranma! (removes her mask, reveling
Shampoo) I ride into sunset with Ranma!

(Ukyou and Shampoo flair thair battle auras, and the curtan falls quickly onto
the stage. The sounds of battle come from the stage, as is the sound of things
breaking.)

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     THE END.
     A QUARTZITE FANFIC.
     How do you like it. Give me some C&C.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comming soon (I think):
Ranma VS Robin.