On Thu, 29 Aug 1996, Jon Sacharuk wrote:

[a fanfic]

Interesting.  I don't know if I like it or not, which is why I really
like it.  Does that mean anything? ^_^.

Make lines 70 characters long, I'd say.

Somewhere in the darkness behind him, two eyes opened, and glowed an unholy red. The
rumble of a storm sounded on the horizon, and the air stilled.
"Welcome to the dark fold, child."

These lines took soooooo much out of the fic for me.  It's the beginning
of an explanation for something which I think would have been better left
unexplained.  Definitely end it with describing Ranma's dark eyes.  Kinda
the same thing with the "insane bastard" stuff.  Once, maybe, but
emphasizing it is taking the easy way out.  Any clues as to why or how
would best be meaningless.

IMHO,

Jeff

****jdrutsch@ucdavis.edu***********************Jeff Rutsch***************** 
I -I -I-I *"She's a kind hearted woman, she studies evil all the time.
IV-IV-I-I * She's a kind hearted woman, she studies evil all the time.
V -IV-I-I * You well's to kill me, as to have it on your mind."-R. Johnson
**^_^***.daed si luaP**^_^**Bird Lives**^_^**Ranma Loves Akane**^_^****^_^*