At 12:13 AM 8/31/96 -1000, you wrote:
<snip>
Thanks for the input... Q8)
Yay! C&C, now I can revise parts 1&2.
Here's a few comments on your comments, everything else should be
taken care of in the revision. (No spellchecker, I used a fixed font so
the arrows are off but thanks. It helps.)
Glad to be of service :)
<snip>
it a precaution that Mousse has taken, like most of the others he has
become more prudent with age.
Hmm...do you think his eyesight has improved with age? My
uncle used to wear glasses, but not anymore (no he is not wearing
contacts). My father explained it as a kinda balance...meaning that
if youre nearly blind when youre young, then when you get older,
youre compensated with better vision. Other people have reported
this phenomenon...ok, so it was just one other person...
<snip>
Good point, I'll change that. I don't like using <> for Chinese
but I'll deal with formatting when I'm finished.
Good idea...
<snip>
By the end of chapter 2 some of it will make sense, a full
explination will be given eventually... but of course pieces of the puzzle
will be thrown in on occation until then... I just hope the pieces fit.
Thats what Im here for <grin>
<snip>
couldn't resist putting her into one of those outfits.. she has a striking
resemblence to NukuNuku that way.
Do these uniforms look like the sailor fukus that girls in Sailor Moon
wear? (Sorry, I have been deprived...I have not watched ONE episode of
Ranma 1/2)
<snip>
Yup, her son has arrived...or should I worry about that being her
daughter?
Hmm... nah.. well maybe... nah.. hmmmm...
<red devil pops up : Cmon...go for it.>
Maybe: felt very much like a teenager, a very stupid and ...<actually, I can't
think of the appropriate adjective right now>
Neither could I.
Well...anyone else want to help with this? Of course, you have to read
the fic first for context :) <No, Im not being pushy...this is a great fanfic>
Here's a response to the chapter 1 C&C:
<snip>
I'm trying to fit him in now, he makes a surprisingly good
principal and I'd like to show that. He's not as strange as he used to be,
but he can still turn a phrase.
Are the students gonna play pranks on him anyway?
<snip>
Whoops, Kuno was a mistake. I'd have just used Kuno but that would
have been confusing. I'll rephrase the whole thing. Have Kochou step down
in favor of his son.
Well, I read somewhere...probably that Ranma Terms list that Slashtooth
is passing out (thanx again Slashtooth)...that Kouchou means principal...Im
not sure if they ever gave Kunos father a real name...Maybe if Kuno took over
his dads title...nah...
<snip>
Shampoo is the mother without a doubt. Didn't want to mention her
until I had to, in fact she's getting written out of chapter 2. As for the
Ahhh...does this mean Mousse cant face down Ranma and have
him feel like a gauche teenager?
<snip>
connection. I couldn't think of a fitting bath product so I didn't try. I
wasn't going to name her after Linlin and Ranran either.
Ya know...maybe Takahashi-sama messed up on naming them
or she had the same problem as you. Hmm...missing out on a chance
to make fun of a Chinese name...unless theres some joke about those
names as well that someone would care to enlighten me about?
This doesn't sound right. How can she take his statement as his
flight papers. BTW, defenestrate means to throw someone out the
Kune goes to defense, Megumi goes to offense. Actually anything he
said wouldn't have changed her mind. You can only explain so much in 5
seconds.
I knew that...thats not what I meant <see Zen, sometimes I dont express
myself so well :)>. Your statement : Taking that (i.e. his charming compliment)
as his flight papers... well the sentence sounds weird to me...not that she
threw
him out.
<I promise, but can you hurry? I think I have to use the bathroom.>
Good reason for her to hop up and down and wail. Kinda weird for her
to do it after that confrontation...but humorous.
It's not Takahashi humor, but I think it's funny.
Its called bathroom humor <snigger>
<snip>
I'm halfway through and I can say it should be half flashback.
Something just occured to me that I have to write Shampoo out of chapter 2
so when the chapter 2 revision comes out forget everything you read in the
first version... it may or may not be wrong depending on what I write
later.
Itll be hard to...perhaps if chapter 3 came out as well? <yes, Im
blackmailing you>
Shampoo is in chapter 3 sort of... Kuno as well... Ukyou might take
a little more work. Anyway I'll end here and get back to writing.. I still
have two revisions to do.
Yes get back to work :)
/--=={ http://www.pixi.com/~mousse/ }==-----------------------/
/ /
/ "Chapter 3: Flashback, First Day, and Mom?" /
/ /
/------------------------------------=={ mousse@pixi.com }==--/
The Venkarel
(whose still apostrophe-less & quote-less. Sorry about that)