Just a little idea I had on the bus... 

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Clogged Sink Press Presents:

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction:


                             The Chaos Machine


By Plunger

      All characters copyright of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Inc. and
              Viz Communications, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah...
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[Story begins...]

Gonsunkugi Hikaru sat in his bedroom brooding. Ever since the cursed Saotome
Ranma had arrived in Nerima, his chances of ever attaining the attentions of
the beauteous Tendou Akane were almost nonexistant. Whenever he thought he 
finally had a chance to do something, Ranma would show up and sort it all
out in his usual stupid macho martial arts way. It wasn't fair! How could 
someone as attractive and intelligent as she was, like someone who was as
intelligent and charismatic as your average sea slug?! And with the eating  
habits to match, no less!

After a few minutes of just quietly stewing to himself, Gosunkugi sat up 
suddenly as an idea struck him. If he could create some means of getting  
Ranma out of the way for a while, he knew that he could steal Akane away 
from him...

Now... All he needed was a diversion...

He pulled out large sheet of paper and began to draw. At first it appeared
to be a simple box shape, but as he went along it, became more and more 
complex and more and more confusing. By the time he was finished, the sheets
of paper covered one entire wall of his room, which was lucky, as he had not 
drawn it to scale. He stood back to take in the sight of his masterpeice. 
His greatest invention was finally on the drawing board. Now all he needed 
to do was build it...

Gosunkugi went out and began to search for the parts he needed. Crawling 
through rubbish bins and in and out of scrap yards and behind factories, he
was able to scrounge the pieces he needed. Hours later, he arrived home, 
tattered and exhausted, but elated. He had everything he needed...

Gosunkugi set to work, following his own confusing instructions and assem-
bling the twisted and malformed device. Finally, when all was done, he 
pulled out a large, battered, aged looking book. He flipped through the pages
and finally opened it to "Magical Investments". After carefully reading all
the instructions, he made a small prayer to Kamisama that if magic could work 
just once in his life, let this be the time. 

He strapped the two lit candles to his head and placed more candles about
the room in preparation. When the everything was ready, and the wax was 
dripping into his ears, he raised his hands and began to chant the spell... 

As the hours past, the candles burnt down and Gosunkugi felt himself becoming 
increasingly exhausted, but he ingored the pain and carried on with the spell.
Finally, just before dawn, Gonsunkugi collapsed flat out the floor, uncons
-cious.

When he woke up, it was time for school. He looked around the messed up 
room and spied the machine. It was done... Or at lest he thought it was. 
There was only one way to find out...

He reached out nervously and flicked the switch. There was a high pitched 
whine for a moment that eventually settled into a low hum. Gosunkugi frowned 
for a moment as nothing happened. He reached over and turned a control knob. 
The effect was instant, as pictures fell off his walls, his TV exploded and 
the CD player lauched a disc viscously across the room at him. He immediately 
switched the machine off and began to laugh. 

It worked! It REALLY worked! Ranma was doomed! Doomed! Gosunkugi gloated to
himself as he gathered his school books and picked up the machine. He ran
eagerly out of the house and dashed off to school, much to his mother's surp-
rise...

That day, Gosunkugi Hikaru took his machine to Furinkan High and, in the
midst of the martial arts battles, alien invasions, shady business deals
and other sundry forms of mayhem and confusion, he activated the most 
successful melding of magic and technology the world had ever seen. 

It worked perfectly... And no-one noticed...
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                                  - Fin -
plunger@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au