I bet you thought I fell off the planet. Well I did. I just had this
weird dream this morning and thought I'd share. Yeah, yeah, I know
wheres the next real fanfic. I gave up trying to give dates for my
fanfics for lent. I am working on the same fanfic I was last
time...heh...its coming kinda slowly...I'm also working on another fanfic.
wee. That'll probly never get done either. I'm still in grad school,
I'm still pretending to be a sysadmin, I'm still makeing lame excuses,
still can't spell...
But I bet you wanted to read a fanfic, not my autobiography, so here ya
go...
Matthew Trotter, C&C welcome.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mystery Rumic Theater 3000 II
Somewhere locked in the icy grip of space there is a space station.
Its not an ordinary space station... it looks like a dog bone.
[Tom] Hey! Shut up! There's nothing wrong with our space station.
[Joel] Shhhsh you'll ruin the surprise.
[Crow] Surprise? Who else has a space station that looks like a dog bone?
Anyway,
there's a space station. In it the inhabitants sit transfixed by a giant
screen onto which is projected
[Crow] A fanfic to review?
[Tom] A bird?
[Joel] A plane?
<voice over: Dr. Forester> No, Joelikins. Tonight we have a very special
presentation.
<voice over: TVs Frank> Your really going to like this, Joel.
<voice over: Dr. Forester> Shut up, Frank. Tonight we're turning you over to
prime time television, Joel.
[Tom] Hey, that doesn't sound too bad.
---------------
< There is a lone woman running down a beach. She is wearing a skimpy
one piece. The camera view is closing in for a close up on her behind er I
mean closing in behind her. She is joined by two other girls who are
running.>
Akane: Hurry, guys, Ranma needs our help.
Shampoo: What happen?
Ukyo: Didn't you hear? Ranma honey, saved Ryoga from a near fatal accident.
< As they run another girl joins them. And another and another.>
[Tom] and they'll tell their friends and they'll tell their friends...
Baywatch 1/2
[Crow] uh oh.
[Joel] Hey, I've always wondered what this show was about.
Staring
< Insert picture of Shampoo with a pair of beach balls shoved down the
top of her bathing suit>
Shampoo as The Girl With Really Big Tits
[Joel] Holy plastic surgery!
[Tom] They look so natural.
[Crow] And people thought her head was full of air.
With
< Insert picture of Ukyo with a pair of basket balls shoved down her top.>
Ukyo as The Girl With The Not So Big Tits
[Joel] I sense a trend.
[Tom] Ukyo as the inflatable woman.
And
< Insert picture of Kodachi's butt>
Kodachi as The Girl With A Great Ass
[Crow] Say, Joel, what audience is prime time television aimed at?
[Tom] Pubescent boys apparently.
< Insert picture of Dot Warner in a bathing suit>
And
Dot as The Cute One
< Insert picture of Nabiki in a two piece>
Nabiki as the greedy one
[Tom] Ah, Nabiki, a woman after my own heart.
[Crow] Its not your heart she's after.
< Insert picture of Kasumi in a modest one piece>
Kasumi as the motherly one
[Joel] Hey, aren't they forgetting someone?
Oh Yeah
And Ranma and Kuno and Ryoga as some lifeguards
[Tom] Warning Male Chauvinism alert.
[Crow] Warning subliminal pun detected.
[Joel] You two cut that out. I'm sure there's some kind of plot to this
show. How would it get on prime time with out a plot?
< Cut scene to Ranma. Ranma is dragging Ryoga up the beach. Ryoga
looks to be in terrible pain. Ranma looks worn out and worried. The
girls come running up as he drags Ryoga up to a first aid station.>
Ranma: Don't worry, Ryoga, we're almost there.
Akane: Ranma! What happened to Ryoga?
[Tom] It was awful, he got lost.
[Crow] We almost didn't make it on the show.
[Tom] But the producer said there have to be guys for the chicks to watch.
Ranma: Well,...
Ryoga: No its my fault, I'll tell them. I was out walking the beach like
normal, then a girl offered me a piece of gum. It looked so tasty I
couldn't say no...so I accepted it. The gum was so fresh and
delicious I ... I forgot to watch where I was going.
Ranma: I saw it. One minute he was just walking, the next he tripped on
a sand castle and plummeted to the ground.
Ryoga: That was how it happened.
Ranma: He...he..he skinned his knee.
[Joel] See there's a plot.
[Tom] Joel your stretching.
[Crow] It takes real aerobics to find a plot in this fanfic.
< Shampoo faints. Landing right in front of the camera for a cleavage
close up.>
Kasumi: Oh my.
Nabiki: Oh brother.
[Wane] Extreme close up!!!
[Garth] ShaWing!
[Joel] You two take off those wigs!
< Camera view begins to pull back from the beach.>
Next time on Baywatch 1/2 special guest stars, The Street Sharks, join the
cast.
< Cut scene to beach with Street Sharks and the normal cast watching
people (mostly girls in bikinis) play in the surf.>
Hammerhead: Jusenkio? Is it contagious?
Nabiki: Apparently.
< Cut scene to beach with the normal cast waving good bye as the camera
retreats over the ocean.>
Script by
ME!! Its all Mine!! Bwahahaha!!!
Original characters stolen by
< The camera spins around to face out to sea. On the horizon is a sail
boat of some kind.>
ME!! Its all Mine!! Bwahahaha!!!
< As the camera closes on the boat it appears to be a large catamaran.>
[Tom] The BBC would like to apologize for the constant repetition in
this fanfic
Original concept by
ME!! Its all Mine!! Bwahahaha!!!
< As the boat looms closer there appears to be a man on it.>
[Crow] The BBC would like to apologize for the constant repetition in
this fanfic
Directed by
ME!! Its all Mine!! Bwahahaha!!!
< The man looks very old and withered as if he's spent too many years
under the sun>
[Joel] The BBC would like to apologize for the constant repetition in
this fanfic
Next on NBC: The Tuesday Night Movie. Tonight's movie
W A T E R W O R L D
< The camera closes in on the old man>
The Old Man: An I thought sani bad...
[Tom,Joel,Crow] AAAAAAAAAAAAA MAKE IT STOP!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!
<voice over: Dr. Forester> It never stops, it only gets worse!!!
<voice over: TVs Frank> It'll be ok Clay. You'll have to forgive him, we
couldn't find anything worse than prime time
television.
<voice over: Dr. Forester> Push the button Frank!
<Click>