On Thu, 05 Sep 1996 18:53:12 +0000 Deranged Gear said:
: A First Time For Everything
: By Deranged Gear
: Fission Park Press
: I won't call this a lemon 'cause it's not risque enough for it in my opinion.
Well, no matter how you'd like to call it, it *was* a lemon, and
you should have tagged it accordingly.
Furthermore, I'm sorry to say that it wasn't an overwhelmingly
good lemon. The ending was pretty funny, and Akane's behavior in
the store at the beginning well done - but where's the motivation?
That little paragraph at the beginning was supposed to make me
believe that Akane just "decided it was time"? Some people say
that Lemons are neccessarily out of character, but that doesn't
mean you shouldn't even try.
Overall: Not bad in the humor department - try it without the
sex, next time. :)
Sebastian