On 17 Sep 1996 21:52:24 -0500 "St. Suika Roberts" said:
: I finally got this one edited to a decent level, so tell me what you
: think, please.
: C&C is of course appreciated.
I think that this one was even better than the first part. The
first one was a little undecided, breaking the story flow in many
places and going off on tangents. Part 2 is much more fluid, and
explores some of the neat ideas of the first part in depth.
It *still* suffers from insufficient dialogue attribution. It may
be completely obvious to you, who is talking, but it becomes
increasingly difficult to tell for the reader. Especially since
there are more characters taking part in the dialogue, this time.
Sebastian (Who doesn't think that LSD in the Nerima water supply
would make any difference)