That's 1/2 My Goddess. Part 2/9
(Sore wa Nibonuichi Megamisama)
PART II: Of New Loves and Old Friends
Ranma was in a lousy mood and the weather was mirroring his
sentiments. It was raining hard out there. He had been using the phone
at Ucchan's for the better part of an hour now. It was a cozy, little,
okonomiyaki restaurant. The food was good and reasonably priced, but
eating here always reminded him of an old friend of his from high
school for some reason, so he rarely went here. They were here because
it was the only place still open in the vicinity. It's at times like
this when you find out who your real friends are, he thought to
himself. It was already past midnight and he still didn't have a place
to stay.
None of his friends had any room for him and two women.
Mostly it would be either just for him (from his female
acquaintances) or for the women (the offers coming from his male
friends) but not all three of them.
The continuous dull patter of rain on the restaurant's roof
was starting to lull Ranma to sleep. He was exhausted and
homeless. This was a truly lousy way to end a day... He glanced at his
two companions to make sure they were doing okay.
Ranko was sitting contentedly at one booth nursing a hot
chocolate whose contents had already taken time to congeal at the bottom
of the mug. Akane on the other hand looked as miserable as he felt,
sipping her tea. He wished that he could be with her for the rest of
time... or so she'd said. That in and of itself wasn't that bad. Ranma
found that he rather liked her... even if they'd only met a few hours
ago and she had a tendency to get very violent. But what did you expect
from the goddess of Conflicts? Unfortunately, Ranko and a weird
proximity triggered sex change curse had somehow gotten into the deal as
well.
He cradled the receiver and took out his phone card. He
walked back to their booth, where he sat down next to Akane, as far as
possible from Ranko and said, "That's it... nothing."
Ranko shrugged and took another drink out of her almost
treacle like chocolate.
"So what do we do now?" asked Akane. She hated to admit it,
but she was getting scared. She had never had to deal with
anything like this before. She felt way out of her league. Her duties
used to include only weather patterns and competition for food by wild
animals... She wasn't used to dealing with people on a one on one basis.
The lousy weather was actually her fault. She tended to echo her
sentiments to the sky... and right now she felt like crying.
"Don't worry. Something will turn up eventually," said Ranko
airily, "This is just a temporary aberration."
Ranma's hand slammed down on the table, "Ranko, what are you
talking about? I don't have a place to live thanks to you and you call it
a `temporary aberration'!?"
"It's not a problem. If something threatens to invalidate
the contract, that is, something threatens to separate either of us
from you, the `Ultimate Force' will come into play and help facilitate
things and prevent contract breach. You'll see... " Ranko said with a
shrug of her smooth shoulders.
"What are you babbling about?!" asked Ranma.
Akane threw a frown in Ranko's direction, "It's what I meant
when I told you bad things would happen if you tried to get rid of either
of us. What she means is that there is a force which seeks to make sure
that all contracts with our office are enforced. She probably thinks that
since not having a home will make us want to leave you... the Ultimate
Force will come into play and grant us a place to live..." she snapped
her fingers, "Just like that."
"Bingo, hammer girl. You hit the nail right on the head...
so to speak."
"Quit calling me hammer girl, you imbecile!"
"Will the both of you calm down?!" hissed Ranma at the two,
"We already got kicked out of the Nekohanten by the old ghoul because
you two started fighting."
"Ahhh... what do you know, anyway?" said Ranko with a
dismissive gesture.
Akane smirked, "Ranko... remember the specs for the Ultimate
Force?"
"Sure I do... I've been serving the Goddess Relief Office
longer than you have, you know."
"Do you remember what the response time is supposed to be?"
"Yeah..." Ranko suddenly stopped herself as she seemed to
realize something. Her face took on a look of acute
embarrassment.
"It's five minutes, give or take two minutes, right?" Akane
asked nastily.
"Er... yeah."
"Ranma's been looking for a place for us for a good hour
now, wouldn't you say?"
"Uh-huh..." continued Ranko, not liking where the
conversation was headed.
"Doesn't that tell you something?"
"Like I said... temporary aberration... some sort of system
error..." Ranko replied vaguely.
Akane stood up, "A temporary aberration would have been
spotted an hour ago! Something is definitely wrong with our
contracts if they're not getting enforced!"
"Akane, calm down. Please," shushed Ranma, pulling Akane
back down into her seat, "If I understand you correctly... your...
er... `office' should have helped us find a place to stay by now?"
Akane and Ranko glared at each other but eventually both
nodded.
"So something has got to be wrong if we haven't found a
place yet? Or does it just mean that Akane won't necessarily leave
me if I don't find us someplace to live?"
The two goddesses exchanged looks of surprise... that was a
distinct possibility too.
"Hmm... does this mean the Ultimate Force will also try to
keep me from... er... breaking your heart? That would lead to
contract breach... right?"
Akane blushed slightly, "Um..."
"If you're planning on cheating on her, Saotome," said
Ranko, "Don't bother. I've seen people run smack dab against the
Ultimate Force. It's not a pretty sight."
Ranma gave Ranko a bewildered look. He sighed and thought to
himself, "Why did I have to be saddled with her? Why?"
He eventually said, "In any case, it looks like we'll be
sleeping in the van... at least for tonight."
"The van?!!?" roared Ranko, drawing herself to her full
height, which truth to tell wasn't particularly impressive, "That
piece of garbage?! I refuse to bruise my lovely young body scrunched up
in that awful little heap!"
"Ranko! Shut up! We don't have much of a choice, now do we?
I don't like the idea much either, but Ranma has no more money and I
don't want to sleep in some alley or on a park bench!" replied Akane,
also standing up.
Ranma made shushing gestures, but both goddesses ignored
him.
"Excuse me," said a voice approaching their table.
Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to himself,
"I don't need this aggravation..."
"What?!" asked the goddesses in unison, turning towards the
source of the voice.
The voice had come from the tall, handsome brunette with
long hair tied back into a neat ponytail. The person had just removed an
apron with the word, "UCCHAN'S" written on it. Under the apron, was a
shirt with a button down collar and blue jeans.
"I couldn't help but overhearing..."
"They could hear them all the way to China..." muttered
Ranma darkly. Akane pulled out her hammer and walloped him on the head
without looking.
"I'm closing up in a few minutes... If you folks really
don't have a place to stay... well, there's an extra room in the back
that has a couple of old futons. There should be enough room for three
people. If you want, I can let you stay for the night."
"Thank you, kind sir," said Ranko fluttering her lashes and
smiling impishly at the manager, "Could you do us the honor of telling us
your name?"
The manager blushed and looked flustered, but eventually
managed to say, "Ukyou Kuonji. You can call me Ukyou. I own this place,
I could use some people to work here, too if you're interested.
We might be able to work out a deal for you guys to live on the
premises... "
Ranma's brow furrowed momentarily in recognition... the name
sounded oddly familiar...
Akane got a relieved look in her eye, and murmured softly,
"I guess, the Ultimate Force is working, after all..."
Ranma jumped up and bowed low, "Thanks, Ukyou, we really
appreciate it."
"Sure, no problem. I just couldn't let you people go
homeless. It isn't safe for the ladies out there, even with you to
protect them..." Ukyou said looking intently at Ranma, "You are?"
"Ranma--"
"Ranko Tendo," she interrupted, bowing low enough to show
Ukyou a good deal of cleavage.
"Akane Tendo."
Ukyou's eyebrow raised a little, "Related?"
"Cousins," replied the two at the same time. They glared at
each other again.
"Well, just let me close up, then I'll show you the room."
"Sure. Thanks again," said Ranma, smiling, "If you need
anything... anything at all... I don't have much, but I'll be glad to
give it if you ask. We owe you for this."
"Well, you could start by helping me clean up, afterwards
though..." Ukyou smiled cattily at Ranma, "I'm sure I'll think of
something..."
The manager entered a broom closet and pulled out some
brooms and mops. Ukyou was feeling rather oddly impulsive... inviting
these people to live at Ucchan's without even finding out who they
were... but there was something about that Ranma fellow which looked
oddly familiar to Ukyou...
Ranma for some reason felt distinctly... worried.
Akane smiled at the exchange wordlessly. For no discernible
reason to her, she suddenly felt an odd surge of jealousy. She shook
her head to clear it. Surely she couldn't be feeling jealous over
the way this guy was staring at Ranma, could she?
Ranko, while the same age as Akane, was decades ahead as
far as sophistication was concerned. She understood the look Ukyou was
giving Ranma immediately, but didn't feel concerned at all. After
all, this poor sap was going to have to go up against the Ultimate Force
to get anywhere with Ranma. That wasn't bloody likely. She smiled to
herself... it would be interesting to watch though.
The clean up took less than half an hour and Ukyou led them
to the store room, helping them to lay out the futons.
"Well, I'll be turning in now," said Ukyou with a smile, "I
live on the second floor. If you need anything, just knock on the door at
the top of the stairs, and if anyone wants to take a bath in the
morning, it's the door on the landing. There are spare towels in there,
too."
"Thanks, Darling," said Ranko, cheerfully blowing another
kiss at Ukyou.
The manager took a last nervous glance at Ranko and bowed
out. After Ukyou had left, Akane shot Ranko a look of disgust and said,
"Honestly Ranko, you're a shameless flirt!"
"Hey, it was the least I could do... considering that he's
helping us out."
"But did you have to bend over like that every time he came
close?"
"I like to think of it as a partial repayment. Besides... I
don't think I'm the one he's interested in..." Ranko let her
statement hang.
"What do you mean?" Ranma asked smoothing down his futon.
"Weelllll... it's just that our benefactor was shooting some
rather sultry looks someone else's way..."
"Who?" asked Ranma not entirely in step with matters
innuendo wise, "He was looking at Akane?"
Akane blushed red, "No, he wasn't..!" she had obviously
picked up faster than Ranma did. "...er... he was... um..."
"Jeez, you're dense, Saotome," muttered Ranko as she took
off her outer coat.
"Oh yeah, one other thing, " she added, tagging Ranma on the
shoulder, "Just to make sure you don't try anything funny while Akane
and I are sleeping."
Ranma looked down at herself and tried to keep from
screaming again. This entire turning into a woman thing was definitely
going to take some getting used to.
"What do you mean `try anything funny'?!" asked Ranma, now
with a girl's voice.
"Funny as in lecherous or weird not funny ha ha, if you must
have me define it," Ranko replied with a smirk. She settled into her
futon and was snoring away within a matter of seconds.
"I am really starting to see why you don't like her much,
Akane," Ranma said.
"Oh, this is nothing... she was a lot worse when we were
kids."
Ranma merely nodded agreeably and said, "This is definitely
going to take some getting used too," she said, looking herself over.
Akane took a look at Ranko and asked shyly, "Would you like
me to change you back?"
"Um... you don't have to," Ranma glanced at Ranko, with a
nervous smile, "Actually I think she might have a point..."
Akane blushed deeply and her expression had turned into one
of rage as she pulled out her hammer, "You wouldn't, dare!"
Ranma held out her hands defensively, "No! Of course not! I
was just kidding, okay?! It was a joke!"
"Oh..." said Akane, lowering the hammer. For some reason she
felt oddly disappointed. She hefted her weapon again, smiling
dangerously, "Well, why not? I'm not cute enough for you, is that it?!
Is that it?!!"
"Argh..! Put that thing down, Akane, I didn't say that
either! You are... er... That is..." Akane lowered it again and
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "What I mean is... er... we just
met today. Besides, we're sharing the room with your cousin... and...
uh..."
Akane got a hold of herself slowly and managed to say after
a few moment's thought, "Its okay, Ranma, I'm kidding too," she said
unconvincingly, "But seriously, I mean it's no problem if you're a guy
with us," she paused and looked him straight in the eye, "I trust you."
Ranma smiled at that, "That's nice to know, Akane..." he
coughed nervously and shot a glance at the other goddess, "If you're
sure its no problem..."
"Not at all, come over here," she said beckoning to Ranma
over Ranko's sleeping form.
Akane could have just tagged Ranma on the shoulder as Ranko
had done, but instead she impulsively placed her hand on Ranma's cheek
and watched the transformation. One moment, she was taller than Ranma,
the next he was towering over her. She let her hand rest on his cheek
for a while longer.
The two stood in silence for long seconds. Akane noticed to
her surprise that Ranma's face began to get warmer and a little red for
some reason. Ranma put his hand over hers and eventually said with some
embarrassment "I think you can put your hand down, Akane-chan... We'd
better turn in," he added hurriedly.
"Er... sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry," replied Akane also
burning red with embarrassment. She certainly didn't miss the fact
that he had called her Akane-chan either.
So without any further word, Ranma and Akane lay down to
sleep. Akane was still trying to get used to how things were in the
human realm, but was certain that she was doing a good job of adapting.
She still had a lot to think about... especially about Ranma.
Ranma was certain that he would have trouble sleeping
tonight, despite his exhaustion. Not only was there his now rather
mutable sexuality to consider and his current homeless situation,
but there was Akane as well... he was a man of his word, he wouldn't
try anything... but he certainly couldn't stop himself from thinking
about it.
Both were so busy covering up their embarrassment and
pretending to sleep that neither of them noticed that Ranko's snores
had stopped. A small frown was already forming on Ranko's features...
"So, that's how it is," she thought to herself sleepily, mulling
over the two's conversation, "I didn't realize my tomboy cousin had a
romantic bone in her body... Not good. If she keeps this up, he'll
never want to break her contract... Akane and I'll be stuck down here
forever..."
"No way. Not if I can help it" she muttered aloud before
drifting back to sleep.
Akane got up fairly early the next morning. She was rather
surprised to find the still snoozing Ranma, his face under a pillow,
was now back to being a female... Ranko had disappeared as well, but
Akane was sure she could hear someone singing to the tune of a radio.
Very bad singing. Her curiosity piqued by this and certain that whatever
had happened it was all Ranko's fault, Akane stormed off to find
her. Akane moved up the stairs, to where the hideous singing was louder.
She eventually realized that Ranko had taken Ukyou's offer of a bath.
The door to the changing room was unlocked and she marched through the
divider without breaking stride.
"Alright, what were you trying to do last night?!" she
roared.
Sitting in the tub, Ranma looked at Akane with shock, cut off in
midnote. Akane was also no doubt shocked. Ranma quickly ducked under
the water to cover himself and replied, edging towards the far end of
the bath, "I didn't do anything!! I kept as far away from both of you as
possible!"
Akane, realizing what an error she had made quickly averted her
gaze and covered her eyes, "Oh God, I'm sorry Ranma, I thought
that was you still sleeping down there!"
"What are you talking about!?"
Ranko suddenly appeared behind Akane leering openly at Ranma,
"Yeah, right Akane... you were just looking for an excuse to burst in
on Ranma naked..."
"But I thought that was him, downstairs..!" Akane angrily
replied turning on Ranko. She stared as she realized what had caused
her mistake. Ranko's braid was now as short as Ranma's.
Ranko noticed her staring and gave her head a quick shake,
causing the rest of her braid to unfold from wherever she'd hidden
it. She smiled at Akane. "What a pair you two are! An exhibitionist
and a voyeur!" she shouted as she dashed out the door, "Enjoy the
show, Akane!"
With a puff of smoke Ranko had transformed into a six inch
version of herself, with stocky body dimensions and a much larger head
in proportion to the rest of her body. She looked a lot like a
superdeformed doll version of herself. She slid down the banister and
was already looking for a good hiding place.
"Sorry, about that, Ranma..." said Akane meekly as she
stepped out and closed the door. Outside she roared at the top of her
voice, "Ranko!! Get back here!!!" In the distance, thunder rolled,
echoing her sentiments.
In the tub Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to
himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"
Upstairs, what with all the noise, Ukyou was starting to
wonder if it was really a good idea to have invited those people to
stay the night. They seemed like nice enough people at the time. And
that Ranma reminded Ukyou of an old friend back in high school. "So
handsome..." the manager sighed and opened the apartment's front
door. Akane was on the lower landing, obviously searching for something.
"Tendo-san, Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
Noticing Ukyou at the top of the stairs, "Oh... er... Good
morning. Yes, Kuonji-san, thank you."
Ukyou looked at her and saw how tense and alert she was,
"Akane? Is something wrong?"
Akane still looked distracted, as though she'd just heard a
sound but now wasn't sure. "Um... No... nothing at all.
"Is anyone in the bath, then?" asked Ukyou.
Akane's head suddenly snapped to base of the stairs where a
small doll appeared to be hiding. Ukyou gave the doll a perplexed glance
as it winked back at the manager.
"Ranko..." Akane growled, totally focused on her prey and
ignoring all distractions, "Excuse me a minute, Ukyou..." she said
as she bounded down the stairs after the now retreating doll, her
hammer up and ready.
Ukyou was utterly confused now. With a shrug, Ukyou
proceeded to the bath... little realizing that Akane had not even heard
the question.
The manager knocked on the bath door and said, "It's Ukyou, mind
if I join you?"
Inside, Ranma said, "Sure come on in... I'm nearly done
anyway,"
It was his bath anyway, Ranma added to himself.
Ukyou entered the bath's changing room and stripped down,
taking extra care while removing the chest bindings. "It did seem odd
though," Ukyou noted, "Ranko's voice seemed a lot deeper than it did
last night..." she shrugged it off and slid open the divider.
Ranma stood up and was about to step out of the tub when the
divider opened again... and time stopped. Standing just outside was a
tall, attractive woman with handsome features. She had a smile, a small
towel over one shoulder and that was about all she was wearing. She was
two up on Saotome though... his towel was across the room and he wasn't
smiling. It took a few moments for the shock to wear off, but when it
did...
"Who are you?!"
"You're not Ranko!!"
Both screamed simultaneously. Ranma ducked back into the
water for the sake of modesty and the girl did her best to cover herself
with the little towel. It wasn't doing a particularly good job...
Ranma was getting dangerously clear views of what the girl was trying to
hide. She didn't like that...
Ranko and Akane heard the shouting and quickly rushed up to
investigate.
"Ranma! What's wrong?" said Akane, concerned as she hurried into
the bathroom.
The little doll Ranko bounced in a few moments later and
transformed into her normal form in another puff of smoke, "Now what?"
she asked, annoyed. Their expressions suddenly changed as they got a
better look at the situation. Ranko's expression turned to amusement
and Akane's had turned into one of shock.
Ranma was out cold in the tub, face down with a stream of
bubbles coming from his mouth. The girl had a towel rack in one hand
which she had obviously torn off from one of the walls and was using her
other hand to hold up her towel.
The girl turned her back to Saotome and said furiously to
Akane, pointing at her with the towel rack, "I thought you said Ranko
was in here!"
"When did I do that? Who are you?" asked Akane.
"I'm Ukyou!"
"But Ukyou's a guy!" Akane replied.
"That's not the issue, here!"
"Ranko! What did you do to Ukyou?!" said Akane turning on her
cousin, now certain Ranko had done something horrible, after all...
wasn't it her fault that Ranma turned into a girl?
"What do you mean what did I do?" asked Ranko, genuinely
hurt.
Ranma made a series of choking noises and finally managed to
revive enough to lift his head out of the water, "What did you do that
for?" he asked groggily, trying to look around. His eyes finally focused
on something nearby...
Akane felt relieved as she noticed Ranma's head finally coming
up, but he still looked a bit dazed. His head swiveled around until
finally his eyes seemed to lock, almost by accident on Ukyou...
Ukyou heard Ranma revive and realized belatedly that her
little towel was only large enough to cover her front. And Ranma was
behind her.
Several things happened simultaneously. Ranma realized what
precisely he was looking at and quickly averted his gaze. Akane,
realizing what Ranma was looking at, brought out her hammer.
Ukyou realizing that her bottom did feel a little drafty, dropped
her weapon, covered herself with her hand and quickly spun around.
Ranko started giggling.
"Ranma, you pervert!!" said Akane bringing her hammer up to
punish him.
"I didn't see anything!! I didn't see anything!! Honest!" Ranma
pleaded as he was hammered into the wall beside the tub. His eyes firmly
shut the whole time to make sure that he really didn't see anything.
"Stop that!!" said Ukyou, no one was precisely certain if she
meant the hammering or Ranma's staring, not even her.
Ranma found himself embedded in the tiles again and managed to
croak out, "What have I done to deserve this?" before passing out.
"I can't believe I trusted him, the creep," Akane muttered to
herself.
Ranko leaned against the frame of the door, "But, Akane... this
was all your fault. You told Ukyou that I was in the bath when you
knew that it was Ranma in there all along..."
Ukyou turned on Akane in a fury once more, "You mean you were
helping this lecher!?"
"No I am not helping him and no I didn't tell Ukyou that
Ranko was in the bathroom!"
"Yes you did," Ranko continued, "You were still trying to
hammer me on the stairs and he..." she said pointing at the girl, who
frowned, "Er... she was trying to talk to you. You weren't paying
attention."
"Are we sure that's Ukyou?" asked Akane.
"I'm going to get dressed and we are all going to have a long
discussion about this downstairs," Ukyou said in a voice that would
brook no argument, "Somebody put some clothes on him and drag him down,
too... I want to talk to him."
Ranko's face had a crooked grin as she looked down on
Ranma's unconscious form, "You know, Saotome... you've sure got some
way with women."
"`Saotome?'" said Ukyou, as she buttoned her top, not bothering
with the chest bindings which would have taken too long, "Why did you
just call him Saotome?"
Ranko frowned, "It's his name. Ranma Saotome."
"Saotome? I thought he said his name was Ranma Tendo?"
"Why would he be named Tendo?"
"I thought you said you were his cousins?" said Ukyou.
Akane offered, "Ranko and I are cousins. Ranma's just a...
er..."
"Her boyfriend." Ranko said in her silky voice.
"He is not!" said Akane, with surprising vehemence.
Ukyou blinked at the two in confusion... as she turned her
attention to the mildly bruised and unconscious Ranma.
"Oh, yeah..." said Ranko, sounding thoughtful, "He said he
wanted to spend the rest of his life with you... It wasn't what he said
precisely, but that's what he meant. You're right... you two are more
like betrothed than boyfriend-girlfriend," she added, smiling.
"That's not it either! He wanted--" Akane tried to answer,
desperately embarrassed.
"He wanted you, hammer girl." said Ranko with finality,
jabbing a finger in Akane's direction.
Akane wanted to shove her hammer down Ranko's throat, but at the
same time she rather liked the thought of Ranma wanting her...
somehow. Blushing red, she walloped Ranko into the floor, "Just shut up,
Ranko! You're stuck to him too!"
As Ranko picked herself up Ukyou, who had been gazing
intently at Ranma and utterly oblivious of Ranko and Akane's exchange,
asked again, "You two are sure his name's Ranma Saotome?"
"Yes... why do you ask?" the two goddesses asked simultaneously.
She brought her face on level with Ranma's, "Well... I think he's
a friend of mine from high school."
"He is?!" asked the two goddesses at the same time. They glared
at each other as they both said, "Stop that!"
Ranma, who had finally recovered enough to open his
eyes, blinked a couple of times desperately trying to get his brain
restarted. The first thing he noticed was that there was a girl peering
very closely at his face. That wasn't so bad, since that sort of thing
had happened to him many times before, but it wasn't something he was
comfortable with... The second thing he noticed was that her face was
only a few inches away from his own... uncomfortably close... The third
thing he noticed was that her eyes were very beautiful...
He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to focus on her
properly and backing off a little to see her better, when he finally
realized who it was and said, "Is that you, Ucchan?" Amazing what two
blows to the head can do to jog your memory. She was a very good friend
from high school... they'd been close, but drifted apart when they went
off to college... last he'd heard... she was planning on marrying some
guy she'd met in Kyoto...
Ukyou was startled but recovered quickly enough to hug him
and say, "It is you Ranchan! I'm so happy! It's been so long! Stay as
long as you like!" said Ukyou, who was feeling like a giddy teenager
all over again, "Your friends can stay too if they want! It's so good to
see you!!"
"Wait, slow down," said Ranma still half dazed, "It's great
to see you too, Ucchan, but who was the guy we met last night? Your
husband?"
Ukyou's smile faltered for the briefest of instants before
it was back, she hit him playfully on the arm, "You big silly, that was
me!"
"Oh... Er... I thought you looked familiar... but why were you
dressed as a guy?"
"I don't really like to talk about it, Ran-chan," she said
smiling, "Let's go downstairs... we have a lot of catching up to do!"
"Sure. Sure. We can talk there..." Ranma was still a bit
confused and not entirely certain why it was so drafty... Ranko gave a
small self contented smile as she watched Ukyou give Ranma another very
enthusiastic hug... made all the worse by four facts: the fact that Ranma
only had a towel draped over his midsection; the fact that Ukyou was
wearing a half buttoned shirt and nothing else; the fact that Ranma
didn't look at all unpleased that Ukyou was hugging him, and the fact
that Akane was watching, with a scowl. If this didn't make that stupid
tomboy want to break the contract, Ranko mused, she didn't know what
would.
"What is going on here?" Akane asked manhandling Ranma away
from Ukyou.
"Can I at least get dressed first?" asked Ranma realizing
that he only had a thin linen towel to protect his modesty with. Akane
and Ukyou hastily backed out to let him get dressed, Ukyou pausing just
long enough to pick up her boxer shorts. Ranko left last, taking her time
and ogling him.
Ranma made his way down to the restaurant proper a few moments
later to find Ranko and Akane seated at the counter. It was still before
opening time and Ukyou had already done most of the necessary clean up.
She was at the grill cooking up a batch of her specialty okonomiyaki for
their breakfast.
Ukyou smiled brightly at Ranma as he walked towards them,
"Breakfast's on, Sugar. Catch it while its hot."
Akane frowned to herself at Ukyou's familiar tone with Ranma...
Was she an old girlfriend? She asked herself.
Jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, thought Ranko silently,
This is great! I couldn't have planned it better myself!
The smell of the cooking food drew Ranma down faster, "Smells
great, Ucchan." He said with a smile, "You haven't lost your touch, I
see."
Ukyou dimpled slightly at the compliment, "Thanks."
"You two really know each other?" asked Akane as she bit into an
okonomiyaki.
Ranma nodded, "Yeah, we were best friends in high school."
"Pretty inseparable, right Ranchan?" Ukyou added with a giggle.
"Yeah," Ranma agreed as he sat down next to Akane. She favored
him with a small smile which he returned. That did not pass Ukyou's
notice... she raised an eyebrow but made no comment.
"It seems like such a long time ago..." said Ukyou wistfully as
she passed Ranko an okonomiyaki.
Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I guess it was. How are you anyway?"
Ukyou smiled sweetly, "Well, as you can see, I have my own
business," she gestured expansively, "It's all mine!" she thought for a
moment then added with a giggle, "Well, mine and the bank's!"
Ranma laughed easily at the joke, Ranko did so politely, around
her own breakfast... Akane however was feeling rather uncomfortable at
the easy friendship between Ukyou and Ranma.
"Just yours, Ucchan?" Ranma asked finally, slightly puzzled.
Ukyou nodded, flipping another perfect okonomiyaki onto a plate
just as Ranma said, "What about your husband? Weren't you marrying that
guy fro-"
She nearly dropped the plate in surprise at his mention of her
marriage. Her face suddenly turned unreadable and her voice was cold and
dead as she said, "I didn't marry him."
Ranma, oblivious to Ukyou's sudden change of mood was about to
ask for details, but Akane noticed her discomfort. She put a hand on
Ranma's arm and shook her head when she'd caught his attention. Ranma
looked confused, but didn't press the issue.
"I'd rather not talk about it," Ukyou said finally in the same
dead voice.
Ranko smiled to herself, Very interesting... sorrow. Lots and
lots of it. Rage too... could come in handy...
Ukyou's face brightened suddenly again, "You guys still need a
place to stay, right? My offer still stands Ranchan, I still need people
to work here and I have some extra room. I was only planning on hiring
two people, but considering how much business has been improving, I think
three would work out pretty well, too. What do you guys say?"
"If you're sure, Ucchan," Ranma said also brightening a little.
"Are you kidding?" she said, "This place does gets kinda lonely
sometimes... it would be nice to have some company,." she added, smiling.
"We are so lucky, aren't we, Akane?" Ranko said adding a wink in
Akane's direction.
"Yeah," Akane replied sullenly, "Lucky."
Ranko was picking at her own breakfast as she said cattily, "You
two were pretty close, huh?"
"You could say that," said Ukyou with a slight blush.
Akane seemed even more uncomfortable as she said, "Oh..."
Ranma hastily replied, "It's not like that, Akane! We were just
friends that's all!"
Ukyou was a little taken aback by the Ranma's reaction but she
laughed lightly as she replied, "Not for lack of trying on our friends'
parts to get us together though."
Ranko, looking for more fuel for the fire, said, "You mean you
two weren't an item?"
"No," said Ukyou with a slight trace of wistfulness in her voice.
"Ranko, quit bugging, her!" said Akane suddenly.
"It's okay, Akane, I don't mind," Ukyou replied easily.
Ranko whispered to Akane, "What's the matter, hammer girl?
Worried we'll find out something unpleasant about your fiance?"
"He is NOT my fiance!" Akane roared at Ranko.
Ranma jerked back a little at the vehemence in Akane's voice...
Ukyou was also mildly shocked.
Ukyou looked at Akane who was breathing hard and just an inch
away from pulling her hammer out to wallop Ranko into the floor. Then she
looked at Ranma who was looking at Akane, somewhat worriedly. Then back
to Akane...
"She's your fiance, Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, very surprised.
"I am not!"
"No she isn't!"
Ranma and Akane shouted simultaneously.
Ranko smirked, "Oh, yes you are... you've even got a registered
contract and everyithing! You're practically man and wife since Saotome
here proposed!"
"That was not a proposal, Ranko and you know it!" Ranma said.
Ranko put the back of one wrist to her forehead and said in heavy
mock tradgedy, "You ask the girl to stay with you for the rest of your
life and you claim that isn't a proposal?"
"It was an accident, Ranko!" said Akane, "He didn't realize-"
"Didn't realize what an awful decision he'd made!" crowed Ranko
triumphantly.
"You take that back, incompetent!" said Akane, pulling her hammer
out.
"Akane, it's not worth beating her up for it!" Ranma said
desperately trying to hold Akane back. Or pissing Ukyou off if either of
you start tossing blasts of energy around, he added quietly.
Ukyou watched them utterly confused and with a slight sinking
feeling in her heart. She shouted, "Quiet!"
As the three finally settled down, "Let me get this straight..."
she pointed to Akane, "You're Ranma's fiance, right?"
Akane looked embarassed as she put her hammer away, "Um... in a
manner of speaking... I suppose... actually... it's not quite the word
I'd use..."
Ranko said with a smirk, "I think she'd like to be called
'girlfriend' instead."
"Ranko, shut up!"
"Okay," she gave Ranma a cheerful look, "Why didn't you mention
this sooner?"
"Er... It wasn't my fault?" said Ranma lamely.
Ukyou sighed, "Same old Ranchan," she looked at Ranko and then
asked, "So what are you doing with your girlfriend's cousin then?"
Akane muttered, "She's here because she's an incompetent..."
Ranko gave a brief self-satisfied smile as she said, "I'm
watching over them."
"You're what?" asked Ukyou.
"No you're not! You're causing all of the trouble in the first
place!" said Akane brandishing her hammer.
"This makes absolutely no sense to me." muttered Ukyou.
Ranma sighed, "I don't really understand it myself..."
Ukyou said happily, "Ranchan, when you make a situation for your
self you don't do it half heartedly!"
Ranma burried his face in his hands and muttered, "It's not like
I asked for this..."
"Actually you did..." Ranko interrupted.
The argument and supposed clarification continued on for the
better part of the morning... in the end, Ukyou didn't really get an
explanation... but Ranma and the two goddesses ended up with a place to
live and jobs... for a while anyway...