Nightelf presents...                        


                        College Station by Night

     Night had fallen long ago over the shadowy land of College Station, 
with all but a few people sleeping away, gathering their strength for the 
coming day's storm.  For a few, however, the darkness was not an excuse 
to rest; rather, it proved an excellent canvas for the dreaming.  In the 
night, the shadows of legends can be seen, their miraculous works the 
inspiration for the bards of the modern age.  

     One such bard weaved his latest magic in the hours before the dawn, 
casting his eldritch energies like a fireball through the internet.  While 
still rather young, only just at the age of adulthood, his hazel eyes held 
the tiredness of a man some years older, but glittered with the intensity 
of a madman.  Unruly black hair stuck out in odd directions from his head, 
and a few days' worth of facial growth adorned his face.  Pewter-and-black 
frames encircled his eyes, and a combed cotten button-down shirt and 
denim shorts fit over his somewhat overweight frame.  

     "Nicholas Leifker?"

     "Hmmm?"  The young man turned to the soprano voice, only to be 
rewarded with a sight of beauty to entrance the gods.  The pigtailed 
redhead stood at the entrance to the tiny computer lab, eyeing the 
young man intently, like a hunter with cornered prey.  She was older 
than he, roughly twenty-five years of age, with a green-and-red women's 
Chinese-style blouse and pink silk pants dancing lightly over her 
artfully curved, yet surprisingly muscular frame.  A katana, the weapon 
of a true artist, was slung over her shoulder, and a sealed bucket was 
carried in one hand.  For some reason, it all seemed too familiar to the 
young man...The woman repeated her question of his identity.

     "Are you Nicholas Leifker, also known as the Nightelf?"

     An eyebrow arched on the student's forehead.  "I am, though I am 
curious as to how you know of my writing nom de guerre."

     The young woman smiled, with a strange quality that sent shivers 
down Nick's spine.  "Oh, I know a great many things about you, Nightelf."

     "Please, call me Nick."

     "Okay...Nick."

     He examined her closely for a moment, remembering where he had seen 
her unique attire before - specifically, on a model above his bookcase.  
"Pardon me for asking, but where did you get that outfit?"

     The anger began to build in the warrior's expression.  "Oh, this?" 
she whispered through clenched teeth.  "You gave it to me."

     "Huh?"

     "Don't you remember?  You locked me in cursed form, killed my 
fiancee and friends, and stuck me in the Amazon village for eight years!" 

     Mental gears, dulled by hours of typing, grinded to a halt as Nick 
processed the young lady's words.  "Waitasec.  You mean..."

     "Yes.  I am Ranma Saotome."

     Needless to say, this did little for Nick's peace of mind, 
especially as he realized exactly _what_ was on the computer screen in 
front of him.  "No way!  Ranma's a fictional character!  This is the real 
world!  How could you..."

     Ranma seemed sad for a moment, recalling what might have been.  "A 
parallel-universe Akane sent me here...for my revenge."

     "Forgive me if I seem unconvinced."

     "Very well..."  The warrior went into the single-bathroom attached 
to the dorm's computer lab, carefully stuck her head under the tap, 
and twisted the knob for hot water.  Nick's eyes widened, realizing the 
validity of her claim, as Jusenkyo's magic transformed the guest to a much 
larger size, then back to her more petite measurements as she turned on 
the cold water.

     "eyuh...Hey!  I gave you your manhood back in the end!  I even set 
you up with Ukyou!"

     "Yes.  And that fact is the reason why I'm giving you one last 
chance."

     Nick suddenly went nervous.  Last chances are not something a college 
student likes to hear about, especially from a fictional martial arts 
master.  "Last...chance?"      

     Ranma nodded, the water from her demonstration shaking off of her 
head.  "Yes.  I'm tired of you playing God.  From now on, you will not 
start any more fanfics.  You can finish the stories you started, but you 
cannot write any more besides that." 

     "And how are you going to do that?"

     "Within two weeks, you will have a steady friend...one way or 
another." 

     This was news... "Huh?"

     The Niichieju warrior sat down next to him, calmly looking him in 
the eye.  "Let me put it to you this way.  Jusenkyo is only an 
afternoon's walk away from my house.  Now, in this bucket here is water 
from the Spring of Drowned Beautiful Girl, which will pretty much force 
you to fight off the guys whenever it rains.  If I don't see any progress 
in your love life within two weeks...you're going to be all wet."  She 
looked over to Nick's terminal, casually examining its contents, much to 
his discomfort.  "Now...what are you working on here?"

     The Nightelf winced, expecting the water to come flying once she 
read the screen...Ranma saw red, her eyes aflame as she took in the last 
words written there.

     *It was Ranma, in her now-permanent girl body, though if her clothing 
were any indication, she wasn't made from sugar and spice and everything 
nice.  Her next-to-nothings consisted of a lace bra, panties, garter belt 
with sto*

     "YOU HENTAI!!!"  She stood up and unsheathed the sword from her back, 
swinging it in a neat arc for Nick's head.  Only by narrowly ducking did 
the young student avoid imitating a character from one of his favorite 
movies.

     "It's Happi's dreams, I swear!  This doesn't happen in the real 
world!!  In fact, it's from a story where you beat the stuffing out of 
him!"  Desperate to get out of there whole and masculine, Nick rapidly 
tried to explain the offending words.

     "You mean...you WROTE the old lech's dreams?"  The young woman's 
anger turned to simple revulsion as she realized the meaning of Nick's 
words.  "You _are_ sadistic."

     Nick just nodded in agreement, unable to voice any reply.

     Ranma sighed, then sat back down.  "Anyway...when was the last date 
you were on?"

     "Uh...sprbrk."

     "Huh?  I didn't quite catch that."

     "Spring Break, okay?  Are you happy now?"  The young man shook, 
angry at the personal intrusion.

     "Not yet, I'm not.  Maybe I should just drench you with this.  It 
would certainly improve your love life..."  She tapped the bucket 
thoughtfully with her katana, as if to punctuate her point.

     "No, thank you.  Sorry, but the CT's and fratrats and bonfire 
lunatics around here aren't my type."

     "Oh well."  She smiled, giving a carefree shrug.  "Had to try.  Are 
there any girls you're interested in?"

     Nick thought for a moment.  "Well, there is this girl named Lita..."

     Ranma picked up the bucket, ready to open it.  "She had better not 
be a Sailor Senshi!"

     "No, no!  She's this LARPer friend of mine.  She's cute, and smart, 
and into Anime..."  

     The man/woman perked up, seeing a ray of hope in the student's 
future.  "Great!  It sounds like you two have a lot in common.  Now all 
you need to do is call her, set up the date, and get on with your life."

     Nick looked strangely Ryouga-like as he contemplated the move he had 
to make.  "Me...call her?  I..."

     "Yes, you...call her, or you...shop in ladies' section of department 
store.  Got it?"  

     Nick smiled weakly.  "got it..."

     Ranma got up from her chair, sheathed her sword, and picked up the 
bucket.  "Oh, by the way, since I have no other place to stay, I'll be 
staying in your dorm room for the next two weeks."

     "My roommate is gonna _love_ that..." Nightelf mumbled 
sarcastically.  

     "Actually, he is.  I already used some shampoo on him, to make him 
think that he's my girlfriend for the time I'm here.  Of course, he's 
also forgotten about his girlfriend, which isn't a problem since she's 
also forgotten about him."

     A large sweat bead appeared on Nick's forehead.  "Uh...don't you 
mean that he think's you're his girlfriend?"

     Ranma's eyes grew wide for a moment.  "oops...Oh well.  I have 
enough of the water to spare."

     "Well, he was rather annoying anyway..."

     Ranma locked eyes with him, trying to drill her point in his head.  
"Remember:  Two weeks.  After that, you have a problem."

     "I hear you, I hear you.  I just wonder how I'm going to pay for all 
of this."  

     Ranma unbuttoned the top of her shirt, forcing Nick to seriously 
rein in his hormones at the sight.  She pulled a wad of bills out 
of...well, out of her shirt, and threw it at Nick.

     "Thank Nabiki.  She's so sick and tired of your manipulations that 
she's willing to pay you to get out of her hair."

     Nick stared at the bills (American, surprisingly) for a long moment, 
contemplating his chances.  His last date had been a disaster, and the 
one before that, in high school.  In other words, if he were a betting 
man, he'd be betting he wouldn't be...

     "I'm doomed..." he whimpered as he numbly followed Ranma to his, now 
their, room. 

*************************************************************************

     For those of you wondering, when I first wrote my entry into the 
revengefic challenge, I treated it like a spamfic, essentially typing away 
for about half an hour in script format on some random idea floating in 
my head.  I didn't think quite so much would come of this... Also, 
there was one major mistake in the original, with Ranma saying that she 
made my roommate think that he was her girlfriend.  I realized it was 
better with it in, but with the appropriate reactions accompanying it.  

And, finally, for those of you who want an ending...

* poit, poit *  "Oh my..."     


Nicholas Leifker
"Nightelf"
nwl9354@tam2000.tamu.edu
October 2, 1996