Hopefully you've read my second release, where I've outlined a
disclaimer.....

In general, don't bitch too much about my awful writings.....  I'm a busy
student slaving away in a premed program, and the only time I can type
these stories is in the early hours of the morning....  So just enjoy the
plot, and don't nitpick with the "Official Manual to be an Anal Retentive
Fanfic Critic."

BTW, I haven't gotten to the point where I can accurately spell all
locations, names of in the Ranma Multiverse.  So, spelling will improve in
the future.  (What sux tho, is that many people have released their own
version of the official Ranma FAQ, and in each version, spelling varies.)

Enough excuses for my ineptitude at writing.

This is another story that came to me in a dream.  (Gosh, arent dreams
nice?)

===================================>Cut
Here<========================================

Herbal Remedy

Another Fanfic story by Michael Chen (aka. Zenki, in #anime)

PART I: Shampoos brewing, again?
[Shampoo, Cologne, and of course Mousse are in the Nekohaten.  Colognes
been cleaning out her spice stores, and absent-mindedly leaves a few
bottles out in the open.  Shampoos in the kitchen cooking ramen, of
course, for Ranma]

Shampoo
	[singing a Chinese song, is adding cooking the ramen to perfection.  With
a spoon, she tastes it] [To herself] Hmmm..... Soup needs some spice.

[She looks about, and her eyes immediately land on the passion spice.  She
grabs the entire bottle and puts a liberal amount inside.  She inhales the
aroma of the soup.  Immediately,  Shampoo starts coughing.  Staring at the
bottle, she realizes the spice expired some 50 years ago!]

Shampoo
	Oh no!  Grandmother Cologne!  I need to have some more spice!!!!!

[Cologne happened to be in her room, sorting out 200 year old clothing]
Cologne
	I left some spice on the counter, you can use it.

[Shampoos eyes scatter back and forth, and they land on the huge pile of
spices that Cologne had accumulated in her life time.  Shampoo pauses a
moment, and gives a shrug.  She grabs a couple bottles, and dumps them into
the soup.  Almost immediately, the soups aroma and appearance improved
drastically.]

Shampoo
	Ramen, all done. When Ranma eat this, he will fall in love with Shampoo! 
I can then marry him, and we will have fun without tomboy Akane!

[Shampoo glances at the clock.  It reads 12:01.  Shampoo panicks leaving
quickly.]

Mousse
	Shampoo where are you going?  I want to come too!

[Mousse goes running into the kitchen, where he slips on a stray bottle of
spice, and crashes into the wall.]

PART 2: Ranma eats ramen.
[Shampoos bike practically flies into the Tendou dojo.  Shampoo, bursts
into the dining room, where she sees Ranmas usually group of followers
fighting.]

Ukyou
	No, Kodachi, Ranma would rather prefer my tasty okonomiyakis!  Cookies are
just too sweet for lunch.

Akane
	What do you mean, Ranmas my fiance, and hes going to eat what I cook!

Kodachi
	Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, my cookies are extra sweet for my lover. [She shoves a
cookie into Ranmas mouth. and forces him to chew and swollow]  See, my
boyfriend agrees with me.

[Shampoo leaps into the fray]

Shampoo
	Ranma would definitely prefer my tasty ramen.

Ukyou
	[to Kodachi] Well, it happens that Ranma likes my okonomiyakis better. 
[She shoves an entire okonomiyaki into Ranmas mouth, and forces him to
swallow it whole.]

[Shampoo jumps in the band wagon, and pours the entire bowl of ramen into
Ranmas mouth.  He swollows.  Shampoo, leaps into Ranmas lap and starts to
embrace him closely.  Akane snaps, kicks Ranma way from Shampoo]

Akane
	[shouting at Ranma] Ranma!!!! Well, whose food do you prefer.

[Ranma stares at Akane for a moment, and he says...]

Ranma
	Akane, how can you be joking, you know I really like your cooking.  [He
eagerly spoons a glop of mush, and swallows. Immediately he turns green,
and falls over.  Everyone is shocked that Ranma willingly at Akanes
cooking...especially Shampoo]

Shampoo
	[Curses in Chinese.] Ta ma de.  [She leaves in tears, because yet again,
her plan had failed.]

( For those not schooled in Chinese swears, Ta ma de (literally, "He/She
Mother of") can be interpreted in various ways... It could mean "Son of a
Bitch", "F**k you", "Eat my s**t", "F**K my s**t", etc.  It's pretty open
ended....) 

Ukyou 
	[Concerned looks at Ranma, sighs, and shakes her head. ]  Well, Akane, I
guess you won this time, although it seems our judge will be out cold for a
while.  [She leaves solemnly]

[Kodachi, seeing that nobody watches her, attempts to kiss Ranma.  However,
Akane sees this and kicks her out through the roof, in the process, Ranma
is knocked over and he immediately embraces Akane.]

Ranma
	Akane, do you how much I love you!!!!  Its so much, that I feel
overflowing with love!!!!!

[Akane, its privately pleased, but shes also embarassed.]

Akane
	You pervert, stop hugging me as if were married.  Off I say! OFF!!! [She
shoves Ranma through the wall into the adjacent room.  Soun starts to
whimper.  She walks towards her room.  Ranma bursts through another segment
of walling, he doesnt bother to use the door.]

Ranma
	Oh, whenever I hear your voice, I am pulled to you like a nail to a
magnet.

[Genma-panda looks up from his losing game of go  He picks up the board and
throws it at Ranmas head scattering his pieces everywhere.  Considering
how his evenings been going, Soun starts to cry.]

Genma	
	[sign] Hahhahahha You sound like Kuno in one of his spells.....

Ranma
	I do not sound like Kuno.  Why would I use beautiful words to describe a
tomboy like Akane!

[Akane gets mad, and smacks Ranma with a hammer.  Ranma immediately perks
up, hammer still imbeded in his head.]

Ranma
	Akane! Come back my love!!!! Did I ever tell you that I like it when you
are mad!!!!!

PART 3: Cologne knows it all.
[Shampoo is in tears on the way, when she bursts into the Neko Haten.  She
is surprised to see Cologne, on her stick, waiting for her.]

Cologne
	What happened Shampoo?  The spice didnt work again,huh?

Shampoo
	[stops crying]  How do you know!  I make good ramen, use a lot of spice! 
Ranma not obsessed with Shampoo when she feed him.  Ranma instead eat
Akanes poison happily! 

Cologne
	Well of course, considering you mixed totally unrelated spices.  See you
added passion spice, boredom basel, and madness herbs!!!!!!

[Shampoo is completely horrified.  Cologne is just as horrified.]

Cologne
	No one has ever administered such a mix of spices before!

PART 4: Beautiful Luscious Babe and no response.
[The next day, Ranma and Akane are heading off to school, when Kodachi,
whos obviously cutting class appears out of nowhere]

Ranma
	[surprised and angry]  Kodachi, how many times do I have to tell you I do
not love you!

Kodachi
	Oh Ranma, but when you say that, you mean yes.  [She suggestively wraps
herself and Ranma together with the ribbon...]

[Akane s about to explode, when Ranma yawns, looks about, and manages to
extract himself from Kodachi.]

Ranma
	Come on Akane, Im getting bored.... Lets get to school before the bell
rings...

[Kodachi tries to follow, but it seems her ribbon gets stuck]

Kodachi
	Ha.-hahahahaha.  Ranma is definitely trying to tease me into getting more
interested with him.

[She tries to walk, but in the end resorts to hopping off, tangled in her
ribbon.]

[Later that day, Shampoo lands on top of Ranma.  Ranma jumps up, and almost
throws Shampoo off her bike.  His arms open wide...]

Ranma
	My beautiful Amazon friend!!!!

Shampoo
	No this more like it.  Ranma, see delicious meal Shampoo cook for you.

[Ranma stops dead in his tracks, his expression completely different.]

Ranma
	Oh, its you Shampoo.  You know, Im not hungry now.  Ill see you later.

Shampoo
	[Shes still happy that Ranma showed some emotion to her, gives Ranma a
great big hug.  Ranma is clearly bored.  Akane, conveniently shows up.]

Akane
	Ranma, you low-down sleazy ball, pimp, double crossing, hentai, womanizing
idiot.

[On hearing Akanes angry words, Ranma breaks his bonds with Shampoo, and
runs off to Akane.]

Ranma
	My princess, my reason for living, the spice in my life, ...

[Everyone stares at Ranma, because hes not talking back, and everyone
swings back to Akane, expecting her one-two PUNCH routine.  It never comes.
 Ranma hugs Akane, who starts blushing like her face was on fire.]

PART 5: Everyone is at the Tendou Dojo.
[At dinner time, Cologne shows up with Shampoo, and soon afterwards Ukyou
shows up.]

Cologne
	I know why Ranmas been acting weirdly recently.  I appears that an
unfortunate mistake has happened.

Genma and Soun
	Whats weird.  Its perfectly normal for two lovers to act that way. 
[Genma and Soun look proud.]

[Ranma knocks Genma head on the head, pushing his fathers face into the
bowl of rice.  Akane stares at her father. ]

Cologne
	No no no, it seems that last time, Shampoo brought some ramen laced with
passion spice, boredom basil, and some madness herbs.  This unique
combination brought a change in Ranmas personality.  Observe.

[Cologne nods at Shampoo, and Shampoo attaches herself to Ranma.  Ranma
begins to look bored, and starts to yawn, ignoring Shampoo.  Akane gets
really mad this time, because Shampoo kisses Ranma.]

Akane
	Ranma No Baka!!!1 What do you think youre doing with Shampoo! [She grabs
a convenient hammer and swings it at Ranma.  Ranma immediately perks up,
and hugs Akane.  Akane falters.

Cologne
	See, when someone shows love or affection, the Boredom Basil effects are
triggered.  When someone is mad or mean to Ranma, it triggers the Passion
Spice!  [Everyone sees and agrees with that statement.]

Soun
	How long would these magical spices last! [He winks at Genma.]

Genma
	Yeah, it would be nice if these spices could last forever.

Cologne
	Hmmm, according to my calculations.....factoring the fact the spices were
150 years expired, hmmmmmm.... Wow!  The effects should end about now! 
What a coincidence...

[Ranma wakes up from the effects of the spices.  He sees himself hugging
Akane, and he gets woozy.]

Ranma
	Ahhhhh! Why am I hugging this ugly tomboy!  Who tricked me!  What
happened!
[He turns to Akane]  Did you drug me or did I eat you some of your cooking?

[Akanes face suddenly hardens.  Everyone else takes cover.]

Akane
	Ranma you no good, lying idiot.  Take that for making fun of my cooking!

[Ranma is punted through the roof, and he flies out into the landscape.]

T H E    E N D


So this is a short work that has little character analysis and very little
in terms of a new plot.  So what! I had fun writing this!  So enjoy real
Original Flavor.  Heck this story tastes like it was a rehashed Tv
episodes.....that got mangled in a blender....