TSUBASA ATTACKS!
part 3: The Girl, The Ape, and the Off-Road vehicle.
[Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi, Ryo Muhoshin by RpM, Skeride
Gosunkugi by Christopher Willmore]
In_Between_Worlds....
In the worlds between worlds, three figures hidden in darkness
congregated to scheme and dream in a time when others feared the end of
the worlds.
"Status report, gentlemen? What are the others up to?"
"The anime bunch is striking down, they've got some occupied
lands. Eav's joint is an anime zone now, as well as a few others."
"The writers are assembling a strike force to retaliate. Seems
they suspect some grandiose superbeing to be behind this. *snort* Pity,
that. You know how it works, they believe in it and it _will_ happen."
"Ironic, isn't it?"
"Tsk, oh well."
"Better make a note of that... make sure Rod doesn't believe in
it. Might run into problems if he even suspects there's a Super Entity."
"What of the status of the Nexus?"
"I think someone is definitely watching it."
"Twister?"
"Maybe."
"Legion?"
"Not sure."
"Skyknight?"
"I don't recall _him_ having reality-shattering powers, do you?"
"Ah, sorry. How silly of me."
"Quite alright."
"Y'think it was a good idea tipping off McKenzie like that?"
"Don't see why not. He wrote pretty good scenes for us, eh?"
"That is true, very true. He wrote us well."
"But what if the others start to suspect us?"
"Well... that's what the candles are for."
"The candles?"
"Oh... oh _no_. We're _not_."
"If the situation becomes dire enough, we may have to."
"Drat."
"You know... I keep on having the feeling we're forgetting
something..."
* * * * * * * *
The orangutang sighed.
Life as an orangutang was not bad. Rod was getting used to it,
actually. Being able to do anything with his feet that he could do with
his hands was interesting, and he found that climbing trees was, in fact,
not unlike meditation.
However, there were still occasional flea problems. And his
'boys', the Muhoshin three, were nowhere to be seen for the last few days.
At the moment, he was lounging high in the trees of a foresty bit near the
University of Houston Clear Lake campus. It was good weather for it too,
very much fall-like. A rarity in Houston.
"Oy, boss."
"Ook?" Rod blinked and looked down. One of the more stable
Muhoshins, the one from The Pursuit Of Happiness, was waiting below.
Initiallly, it was hard to distinguish between the three, but once
he had a good look, there were obvious signs as to which one he was
dealing with. The one down below was most likely from The More Things
Change because his aura was a sort of greyish purple, and he behaved
rather normally compared to the other two. He was also immune to all but
the most powerful of magics. Rod thought of him as Ryo#1, since he was the
first Ryo to be made.. The 'Psycho Power' Ryo had a constant purple glow
on him, and sometimes if he was forgetful, he'd glide instead of walk.
This one was Ryo#3, since he was the third incarnation of Ryo Muhoshin to
be made. The remaining Ryo, the one from his collaberation with Chris
Wilmore, made him nervous instantly. Mostly because of the three of them,
he had a distinctly larger psychotic streak, and it showed in the way he
looked around, much like a lizard. He was also, ironically, the only
Muhoshin with 'normal' ki. This Muhoshin was the second incarnation of
Ryo, and thus appropritately dubbed Ryo#2.
"EEK! Ook ook EEK!" said Rod again.
"We've been busy, okay?"
"Ook?"
"T'bring you to the nexus, we've gotta make sure the way is all
clear, right? I mean, you don't want to run into the likes of Twister or
Legion, do you? We couldn't possibly deal with them, not yet anyways."
Rod nodded. "Ook ook."
"Besides, we can't exactly get there yet."
"EEK!" The orangutang glared at Ryo.
"No, wait, we have a plan."
"Ook?"
"Do you recall that rather interesting piece of jewelry that Ross
McKenzie 'created' for Ryo Saotome? You remember, Descents and
Inversions?"
"Ook."
"We're working on getting that... and then we'll focus on the
nexus."
"Ooooook."
"We did track down some fellows that might be friendly."
"Ook?"
"Lesse..." the Muhoshin unfolded a piece of paper. "Mr. Eav's
residence has been occupied by Nerimites, and we think he's been cursed.
Madame Seawright had a bit of the ol'Jusenkyou touch her, ah, himself,
now, and there's Nerimites around her as well. Don't know if they're
hostile, though. McKenzie's under the gun, er, blade, from that fellow
Mousse, but last we heard he was starting to scout things out on his own.
Who else... Hm...." Muhoshin looked down the piece of paper quickly.
"Let's see... hunted by BGC characters... no... dueling with Ranma...
hrm.... organizing the Anime Lib... er... never mind... ah, here's one."
"Ook?" asked Rod.
"Willmore, Christopher. You recall that one, yes?"
"Eek." Rod remembered that one. If the trend of characters
getting ticked off at their writers continued, Willmore had alot to be
afraid about.
"We've looked the place over, it's a dorm. Looks like it's been
quiet so far. We might be able to reach him in time, yes?"
Rod nodded. "Ook."
Two figures emerged from the shadows. "Sorry we're late," said
one of them. "There was some odd british girl with a broom chasing us
about." The Ryos waved and joined the other two.
Ryo#1 blinked. "British?"
"Ook?" asked Rod nervously.
"That is correct," said Ryo#3.
Rod and Ryo#1 looked at each other.
"Noori?" asked Ryo#1.
"Ook," confirmed Rod.
"Will this be a problem?" asked Ryo#2 irritably.
Rod scratched his chin. "Oooo.... ook."
"Good."
"People, people," said Ryo#1. "Let's go check on Wilmore one
more time, shall we?" The three Ryos briefly exchanged a knowing and
devious glance. They knew far more than they were telling, especially
about what Willmore was up to. And if they could throw a wrench in the
works, create more confusion for the others... nobody would ever bother
to check on their status. Rod the orangutang blinked, scratched his head,
and whapped the nearest Ryo.
"EEK!"
"Oh, of course we'll get hot water first."
* * * * * * * *
Four people entered slowly into a rather modest dorm. The lights
were off and the windows were covered.
"Hm..." said Rod.
"Hey, what's that smell?" asked Ryo#1.
"Smells like a dead body," said Ryo#2.
Everyone else looked at Ryo#2 curiously.
"Well, it _does_," said Ryo#2 impatiently.
"Somebody turn on the lights," said Rod.
"Ah, here's the light switch," said Ryo#3
The four stared at the scene before them, one of them very
surprised.
Ryo#2 rolled his eyes up. "I _told_ you it smelled like a dead
body in here." The three of them spotted a corpse on the ground.
"Say... isn't that," said Ryo#1.
"Could it be?" wondered Ryo#3.
"Ryouga's dead body," said Ryo#2.
The three of them sighed. "And we weren't the ones to do it,"
said the three of them sadly. They kicked the body around a few times for
good measure, then went about poking around the room. Rod was feeling a
bit nauseated and had a seat on the bed, ignoringa large amount of
irritating kawaii plushies. It was then that he noticed a few bits and
pieces on the floor.
"Ah... guys?" said Rod.
"Oooh, an Indiana Jones-ish hat, how niiice."
"'Come on, Drink the Squirrel'? What's this poster supposed to
mean?"
"Well well well, it's Miss Jansen's machete, or a replica of it."
"Um... guys?" asked Rod.
"Hey, Pirates of Penzance poster!"
"No kidding? The musical?"
o/" I am a pirate kiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! o/"
"Bwa-HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"GUYS!"
"Hm?" said Ryo#2. The other two ignored him and kept on looking
through miscellaneous drawers, cabinets, and closetspace.
"There seems to be," said Rod, "er... something else here."
Ryo#2 walked over, casually stepping on Ryouga en route, and
kneeled down. He picked up something charred, black, and with rubbery and
hairy bits on it.
"Piece of skull," he said flatly.
"Pardon?!" said Rod.
"Piece of skull," repeated Ryo#2. "In fact.... hm... I think
this might be Willmore."
The other two Ryos froze in their tracks. "Pardon?" they both
asked.
"Willmore may have been fried," said Ryo#2.
The other two shrugged, seemingly not surprised.
"And I wanted to pound him a bit for giving me that obnoxious
'Gosling' nickname too," lamented Ryo#2 dramatically, almost too
dramatically.
"Let's get outta here," said a very ill Rod. He didn't handle
gore very well at all.
Just as he reached the doorway, the door opened and a young girl
entered. They both stumbled back in surprise, and the three Ryos turned
to look at her in a manner that reminded Rod of the raptors from Jurrasic
Park.
Ryo#2 grinned. "Skeriiiide-chaaan. Well, hello again," he said,
approaching her with open arms. "Let's get re-acquainted, darling."
The girl's eyes widened. "Hey! I'm not who you think I am!" She
took a few steps back and pulled out a knife. "Stay back! I'm warning
you!"
"Aaaah, feisty!" Ryo#2's grin became distinctively lecherous.
"Who is that?" asked Ryo#3 flatly.
"I have no idea," said Ryo#1 casually.
"Skeride Gosunkugi?" asked Rod.
"Rod? Is that you?" the girl asked.
Rod blinked. "Huh?"
"It's me! Willmore!"
Ryo#2 froze in his tracks and the other two stared at 'Skeride'
with mock puzzlement.
"Thought Willmore was a male," muttered Ryo#1.
"Me too," said Ryo#3.
Ryo#2 took a step back and looked at Skeride carefully.
"Gosh. Something _does_ seem different about her," he said.
"Prove it, lady," said Rod.
Skeride hmmed, then named several projects that Willmore and Rod
were planning to work on. This seemed to convince him. Ryo#2 seemed
unconvinced.
"What's the nickname you gave me, then?" asked Ryo#2.
"You? Um... Gosling."
"Bingo." Ryo#2 promptly whapped Skeride Willmore.
"What's that for?!?!" Willmore yelled.
"The nickname."
* * * * * * * *
"So that's how you ended up in Skeride's body, eh?" said Rod. The
five of them were now seated at an all-night diner, late at night.
"That's about it," said Willmore.
"Look at it this way," said Ryo#1, "you've got a great tush."
"Good legs too," commented Ryo#3.
"Niiice lips," said Ryo#2, leaning forward and grinning wickedly.
Willmore turned a shade paler than she was normally. "Hey you,
shut up!" The three Muhoshins smirked for a moment, then broke out into a
fit of snickering. "STOP LAUGHING!" yelled Willmore.
"Hey," said Ryo#1, "Don't get your *hehehe* panties in a bunch!
*BWAHAHAHA!!!*"
Willmore narrowed her eyes. "Why you..." She picked up her glass
of water and flung it across, splasing Ryos 1, 3, and Rod....
Who was now an orangutang. A rather upset orangutang.
"Ook," he said, burying his face in his hands.
"Heeeey, you're a monkey!" said Wilmore.
"Orangutang, actually," said one of the Muhoshins casually.
The orangutang glared at Willmore, daring her to make any primate
jokes.
"Ook!"
"What'd he say?" asked Willmore.
"He said 'at least I'm still manly'," interpreted Ryo#3.
Willmore pointed a finger in Rod's face. "At least I don't
require a FLEA COLLAR."
"EEK! Ook ook ooook EEEK!"
"Oh yeah?!"
"OOK!"
"And he's a low maintenance pet too," said Ryo#1, scratching
Rod behind an ear.
The primate promptly bit his finger. After a brief yell of pain,
Rod let go and sulked.
"Ook ook oook ook ook," announced Rod, who skulked off to to the
bathroom.
"Alright then, we'll be waiting," replied Willmore. "Waitaminute,
how'd I understand what he said?"
"You get used to it," the Ryos replied.
Willmore sighed.
"Oh, loosen up, tight-ass," said Ryo#2.
-pinch-
"PERVERT!"
*WHAAAAAAP*
"Hey, it's your own fault I'm like this. _You_ wrote the scene."
"AAAARGH!" Willmore frowned. She was stressed. Very stressed.
In fact, she had a nagging feeling she'd forgotten something....
Meanwhile...
ANIME LIBERATION FRONT HEADQUARTERS
"Hey, anybody seen commmander Willmore?"
* * * * * * * *
The orangutang tapped a finger impatiently on the sink, waiting
for the water to heat up to the appropriate temperature. It was
warming... warming... ah. As the orangutang splashed himself with warm
water, he took on the shape of Rod once more. He quickly adjusted his
shirt and pants (which, having containted a moment ago a body the shape of
a sack of potatoes, was in some considerable disarray).
"Ahh... much better."
"Nihao."
Nihao? Rod turned around slowly, with a feeling of much dread.
"Uh oh."
*SPLASH*
* * * * * * * *
"What's keeping the boss?" wondered Ryo#1.
*CRASH*
BEEPBEEP!
The four Gosunkugi-ish persons stared in surprise as a grey Nissan
Pathfinder crashed through the resteraunt, pursued by a pack of heavily
armed Chinese Amazons.
"What the heck is that?!" yelled Willmore. The three Muhoshins
tsked and shook their heads as the Pathfinder zoomed towards them.
"They got him again," sighed Ryo#1.
"Indeed," solemly said Ryo#2.
The car stopped abruptly in front of them, the doors opened by
themselves, and the car radio spun wildly, stopping from station to
station to string together the words // o/" EVERYBODY o/" .... bzzzt ....
o/" get into my car o/" //
"Got him again? Got who again?" asked Willmore.
"The boss," said the three of them as they jumped in, dragging her
with them.
"That... that's Rod?"
// Shut -hsssssssss- up //
"Floor it, boss, there's a pack of Amazons behind us."
* * * * * * * *
They were in a jeep, down by a river. What river they had no
idea, but the important bit was that there were no amazons there.
"What's taking them so long?" asked Willmore.
// I... lsakjflkaflkjsf... don't know.//
"Hm... must be kinda hard talking via radio stations, huh?"
// slkdjflskjalkjdsfak..SUCKS //
*knock*knock*knock*
"Oy, boss, open up." The doors unlocked and the Ryo Trio entered,
each carrying a small plastic package of some sort. Willmore's eyes
widened and she couldn't help but smile.
"Laptop computers!" she yelled.
"Bingo," said Ryo#1. "With you two being 'the writers', we are
guessing that perhaps a little more writing might aid our cause, yes?"
//get sssssssssssssssslkjfdlkaa me some sssdfkljkdsssss hot
water.//
A BUCKET OF HOT WATER LATER....
"Well, guess I better get to it," said Ryo#3.
"Hm? Get to what?" asked Rod.
"I'm going to retrieve the McKenzie Locket," said Ryo#3. "Be back
in a while." With a slight bow, Ryo#3 vanished through the passageways of
hammerspace, and into the great unknown.
"Hm... wonder if this'll really work," said Willmore, looking
through her laptop. "*sigh* It just had to be a Macintosh, didn't it?"
"Beggars can't be choosers, dearie," said Ryo#2.
"I'M A GUY!"
The remaining Ryos snickered.
"Won't matter inna bloody second."
Everyone froze. That was a girl's voice, and the only girl in
sight was Willmore. And she definitely didn't say that. Ryo#1 and Rod
looked around nervously.
"That sounds like..." said Ryo#1.
"Noori?" wondered Rod.
"DIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Suddenly, a soot-covered chimneysweep girl with
a metal wire broom blazed out from the shadows, swinging wildly. Rod and
Chris retreated, and Ryo#2 stepped in her path, blocking her attack.
"So, we meet again," he said, sounding unimpressed.
"Um... ano... Noori-san?" came another voice from the shadows
nearby. A cowering voice. A voice that the Ryos didn't like at all.
Ryo#2 glanced at Ryo#1, and they silently agreed that #1 would 'take care'
of Gosunkugi while #2 put Noori away. Noori and #2's fight began in
ernest, with much parrying and swinging of weapons.
"Come out, come out wherever you are, Gosunkugi!" yelled #1,
prowling around slowly. Finally, the figure of Gosunkugi emerged from the
shadows. Neko-Gosunkugi, that is.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Both Ryos couldn't help but start laughing
maniacally.
"I-it isn't funny!" insisted Gosunkugi.
"WAHAHAHAAA! Gosun... aheheh.... GosunKITTY! WAAAHAHHAHAAH!!!"
*CLONG*CLONG*
The two Ryos suddenly fell, totally unconscious, leaving the two
hack writers defenseless. Grabbing their laptop computers, they began to
run for their lives. Awkwardly, Rod popped open his laptop while still
running, and tried to type. He yelled at Willmore, "START TYPING!"
"Typing? Typing WHAT?"
"A way for us to get out of this mess!"
"That's a stupid idea!"
"Yeah, it's stupid, but it just might be stupid enough to work!"
* * * * * * * *
Somewhere in the universe...
There was a spark of belief. It was fueled by flames of
suspicion. The energies swirled in a void, gathering more energy as it
spun about. If one listened closely, they could hear the whispers of a
hundred people through the raging winds.
The energy finally began forming, becoming one body, a humanoid
one with arms and legs, and a face.
Then, it's mind was born.
_I_AM_ALIVE__
* * * * * * * *
Cologne#391 looked down upon her amazon sisters in shame. "How
could you let him elude you! He is but a man! Bah, sisters, you shame
the amazon tradition. Because of this, we shall give _him_ one more try."
The crowd of amazons looked down in shame.
Off to the side, an incredibly large shape stood, it's cold white
surface shining in the light. Cologne looked to it, doubt pricking at her
mind.
"You there, are you sure you wish to take this route for your
revenge? You realize that you've now become exactly what he made you."
"It doesn't matter. I will do anything, even this, to bring him
down."
"Very well... good luck, Kurenai."
The large mecha nodded, then launched itself into the skies, and
finallly through hammerspace.
-to be continued-