(Feeling a little hungry for something sweet, he goes to
his favorite ice cream shop and spots Ranma-chan eating
a banana split by the window. Somehow unsurprised at this,
considering how alike he and she think, Ranma goes into
the shop. He notices a bunch of boys sitting in the booth
just behind Ranma-chan, looking longingly at Ranma-chan,
who pointedly ignores them. The boys simply think that
Ranma-chan is playing `hard-to-get'. Ranma enters the air-
conditioned shop and makes his way to Ranma-chan.)
Ranma-chan : Mmff....(chomp...guzzle...chomp...)
Ranma : What a surprise, finding you here. (looks at the banana split) Delicious?
Ranma-chan : Not much of a surprise if you ask me. And yes, I had a craving for icecream
so of course it's delicious.
Ranma : Waitress, give me a strawberry sundae, okay?
Waitress : Coming right at you!
(A shrill ringing of a bicycle bell and a screech of tires on concrete
were the only warning sounds. Without even bothering to lock her bicycle
<indeed, who would be stupid enough to steal from her?!>, a certain cutie
with lavender hair ducked under the canvas awning. Counting a wad of bills
in her hands, Shampoo walked into the shop. She can be heard humming a
popular Chinese song as she ducked under the awning.)
Shampoo : (thinks to herself) Oh, Shampoo just love payday! Now, Shampoo can enjoy treat
after hard work.
(She scans the restaurant for a booth all to herself - and catches
sight of Ranma-chan guzzling a banana-split. Ranma was hidden
from view by the booth's high-backed seats. With an extra bounce
in her step, she walked over to Ranma-chan's table.)
Shampoo : Ni Hao!! Ranma, you want to date with Shampoo! (she made it sound like a
fact, not a request. She waves to Ranma-chan as she skipped to the booth.)
Ranma-chan : (looks up, face covered with ice cream) Oh no.
Ranma : Is it...is it...?!
Shampoo : Ranma, date Shampoo, yes?
(Shampoo reaches the booth, and sees the two Ranmas.
The wad of bills drop and scatter all over the floor.)
Shampoo : Err...what...is this?
Ranma : Uh, hi, Shampoo.
Ranma-chan : Shampoo! Your money!
Shampoo : Oh! (she bends down and quickly gathers all her fallen money. She gets up.) Girl-
type and boy-type Ranma, what going on here?
(Both Ranmas fill her in on the situation.)
Shampoo : Well...Shampoo don't mind, as long as Shampoo get Ranma!! (Ranma-chan heaves
a sigh of relief and Ranma is trying not to react too overtly to Shampoo's cuddling.
However, Ranma-chan can't help but feel the stirrings of a heartbreak as she sees
the usually devoted Shampoo ignore her and concentrate on the other Ranma.)
Ranma-chan : Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds together...
Ranma : Wait!!
Shampoo : Wo ai ni!!!! (She tightens her grip on Ranma and she disappears in a tangle of
limbs and tablecloth.)
Waitress : Your dish, sir. (She places the dish on the window ledge and walks away,
unruffled by the sight of Shampoo clinging onto Ranma)
Ranma-chan : Well, at least that's one thing I don't hafta worry about. But then....oh well.
(musing to herself) Maybe I sort of liked it when Ukyo and Shampoo were
chasing after me, when I was a guy....I didn't really mind them considering
me their one and only true loves....
(voice from outside the restaurant) : Shampoo! Shampoo! Where are you?!
Ranma-chan : (to herself) Is that Mousse? She stands up and peers around the seats, oblivious
to Ranma's predicament.
Mousse : (glasses on) Her bike's here, so she must be inside! Shampoo?!
Ranma-chan : (unworried that Mousse would see her and Ranma) Hi ya, Mousse! Shampoo's
down there (points at Shampoo plastered all over a blushing Ranma)
Mousse : (points at Ranma-chan) Saotome!! What are you doing with my Shampoo?
Ranma-chan : Me? What am I doing? You fool, _I'm_ doing nothing to her!
Shampoo : Is true, stupid Mousse. Ranma taking Shampoo on date. We just having fun
_before_ date. (gasps of surprise from all nearby customers, who try to lean and
peer inside the booth.)
Ranma : It's not that way!!!
Mousse : (looks long and hard at Ranma-chan and Ranma) So you aren't....(points at Ranma)
Then what are YOU doing to Shampoo? (does a double-take) Huh? (looks at
Ranma-chan, then back to Ranma) There's two of you?
Ranma-chan : No. Time to get new glasses, Mousse. You're seeing double!
Mousse : (removes his glasses) Maybe you're right. But you're still taking advantage of my
Shampoo! Prepare to die, Saotome!! (six long blades shoot out from his left sleeve
while a wicked-looking sword appeared in his right hand, and he starts to mangle a
nearby plant.)
Ranma-chan : Idiot.
(She makes her exit, glad to leave the chaotic scene
behind her as waiters, waitresses and diners all look
at the booth where Shampoo is trying to persuade
Ranma to go out with her. Ranma tries to squirm
free from her hold, but Shampoo only tightens her
grip and brings her body in closer contact with
Ranma. Mousse is now stabbing the table with
his blades, shouting a battle cry as he did. Still
looking back, she leaps up and over a corner...
and lands on somebody on the other side.)
Ranma-chan : Oompff! Sorry 'bout that (looks up) K..Kuno....?!
Male voice : What cretinious fiend dares attack the person of Tatewaki Kuno?!
Ranma-chan : Uh oh! Gotta get outta here, fast!! (She disentangles herself from Kuno and
tries to make a run for it. But Kuno recovers and throws both arms around her.)
Kuno : Oh, pig-tailed goddess! What strange turn of fate draws us together, like the heavenly
spheres in symphonic harmony!
Ranma-chan (from within Kuno's embrace) : Let go of me, ya pervert!! (She struggles
ineffectively)
Kuno (rubbing his chin on Ranma-chan's head) : How can I let you go now, my love!!
(Akane's voice) : Like this!!!
(Crack!! The business end of a huge wooden mallet is introduced
to Kuno's head. Kuno releases Ranma-chan and slumps to the ground.)
Akane : Honestly! Are you all right, Ranma?
Ranma-chan : Hahh..huhh...hahh...I guess so. He's one jerk I can live without.
Akane : Isn't....isn't Ranma around here? (thinking of Ranma's promise to look out for Ranma-
chan.)
Ranma-chan : Oh, he's back in the ice cream shop, being pawed over by Shamp....ooops!!
Akane : He is, isn't he. (She hefts her mallet and stomps off towards the ice cream shop.
Ranma-chan tries to hold her back but Akane hardly notices Ranma-chan's feeble
attempts to prevent bloodshed. Through the window of the ice cream shop, Akane
and Ranma-chan can see Shampoo still clinging onto Ranma, who is valiantly trying
to finish his banana split. Mousse is berating the two, waving his weapons
threateningly over Ranma. Ranma sees Akane and Ranma-chan, and more importantly,
the infamous mallet. His eyes go wide with fear and he tries to pry Shampoo off him.)
Akane : RANMAAAA!!!! (She stomps into the ice cream parlor and looms over Shampoo
and Ranma, left eye twitching dangerously.)
Shampoo : Who disturb...Akane! What you do here?
Akane : DIEEEE!!! (She brings her mallet down on them but Shampoo parries with her
concealed bonbori.)
Mousse : Akane? Are you an enemy of Shampoo? An enemy of Shampoo is an enemy of mine!
Ranma-chan : This is not the place for a fight, you guys!!
Ranma : Yeah! Yeah! Quit it already!!! (Sees both girls doing their blue aura thing and he
cringes)
Akane : I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
Shampoo : AKANE DIE!!!
Mousse : (shouts at the table) DIE, RANMA!!!
(There is general bedlam for a few minutes as Akane trades
swipes from her mallet with Shampoo's bonbori. Ranma-chan
pulls Ranma out from the fight and the two make a VERY
quick exit. Mousse is still stabbing the table with a spear while
Akane and Shampoo, noticing that the person they were fighting over
has run away, turn as one and burn out the door in a madcap chase after
both Ranmas.)
Ranma : (running pell-mell down the street) Why me?! Why does it always have to be me?!
Ranma-chan : (running alongside) I know the feeling!
Ranma : Well you don't have to rub it in just because you don't have to worry about stuff
like this, now!
Ranma-chan : (frowning) What do you mean by that?
Ranma : I mean, you're a girl.....oh, leap up here. (the two leap simultaneously up ontop of a
roof and hide themselves)
Ranma-chan : (chest heaving) Say what?
Ranma : (catching his breath) Nothing.
Ranma-chan : No, tell me!
Ranma : .......You sure? (looks at his female half closely, involuntarily noticing the light
play of the wind on her hair, the highlights and features so much like his own...yet
so very different, as a girl.)
Ranma-chan : Very. (she is lost in the azure gaze of her male half, instinctively reacting to
his manly features, and absently noting how broad his shoulders were in
comparison to hers. Strange that the same body, juxtaposed into a female
one, can be so different...)
(Ranma fidgets a bit, knowing full well the impact
his rash statement could have on Ranma-chan.)
Ranma : ....Now that you're a girl, you don't have girls like those (thumbs towards the general
direction of Akane and Shampoo) chasing after you anymore.
Ranma-chan : (turns slightly so that she is facing away from Ranma) Yeah, that's true.
Ranma : Did I say something wrong?
Ranma-chan : You know that we were either handsome or beautiful, if you know what I mean.
Ranma : Yeah, I do. Go on.
Ranma-chan : Now that we are, in effect, normal people....oh, I don't know!
Ranma : Hmmm...you're trying to say that because I'm handsome (puffs up his chest a little)
those girls chase after me. And now that you're...uh..beau..beautiful.....
Ranma-chan : Uh huh.
Ranma : (puts an arm about Ranma-chan, who twitches involuntarily) I'm sorry for you. I
really am. Now we've got to really find a cure for you or your social life will be
hell. Imagine boys chasing after you! I mean, you are me!
Ranma-chan : (turning back to Ranma) Umm...Ranma?
Ranma : Yeah?
Ranma-chan : (clutches her hands together) I really don't know. Remember, my body is causing
havoc with my...impulses. I'm afraid that my...way of thinking is next to go.
Ranma : What are you talking about? Come on..stop lingering on the...
Ranma-chan : (screws up her face and yells at Ranma) WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS
THAT I MIGHT BE TURNING INTO A TRUE FEMALE!!!!!
Ranma : (perplexed) But...you told me that already!
Ranma-chan : No, no! I said my body is overpowering my male instincts! This is for more
than that! (Ranma looks blank) IDIOT! Here, let me show you exactly what
I mean!!
(Ranma-chan quickly presses herself against Ranma,
and clutching his face in her hands, brings it down
to her face...and kisses him. The two remain kissing
for a long moment, their bodies entwining and in close
contact with each other. Ranma-chan's bust presses on
Ranma's chest as she arches her back and kisses Ranma
with all the intensity she could muster. Then Ranma-chan
breaks the kiss and sits back, breathless.)
Ranma-chan : Now do you see, Ranma? (her eyes are wet with tears, her shirt front disheveled.)
Ranma : I....enjoyed that. I really...liked...kissing you. How strange.
(his eyes roll up and he faints against the chimney.
Ranma-chan slaps him back to consciousness.)
Ranma : What was all that about? (hauls himself up)
Ranma-chan : Even when you were a girl, back when we were a single person, you TOTALLY
hated the very thought of kissing another boy on the lips. I mean, you would
rather die than do that! Remember Mikado? And Kuno, in that school play?
Ranma : (shivering) AW, MAN!! Don't remind me! (he spits to one side.)
Ranma-chan : Well, I didn't throw up. I didn't feel sick, right?
Ranma : Me neither. I don't know what's going on here.
(While the two sit there in silent contemplation over
the act of kissing each other....themselves....or
whatever, a small shape in ninja clothing packs up
his camera and leaps over the wall, whereupon he
runs away in the direction of the Kuno mansion.
The hours pass and it is a couple hours before dark. Akane goes to the
dojo and calms herself down by breaking whole cinder blocks with her
punches. <Ranma, you casanova.>, she thought. Her hand crashes
through the fifteenth cinderblock. <I know it's not your fault that girls
jump all over you. But....> Her other hand shatters the sixteenth block.
<But....> She takes a step back and sits down on the dojo floor, drawing
her legs up close to herself and resting her head on her knees. A slight
breeze blows a fallen leaf into the dojo, through the open door and it settles
next to her. With a sigh she picked the leaf up and starts to look at it in disinterest.
For one of the few times in her life, she dropped her own
inner barriers, the self-imposed safeguards that prevent her
from fully giving of herself to Ranma. Unlike Ukyo, Kodachi
and especially Shampoo [her eyes narrow whenever she thought
of _her_], she never chased after Ranma or proclaimed her...liking
for him. Sometimes she wondered if he still liked her. After
all, she hits him all the time, and for unfair reasons too. Sometimes
she stayed up late at night, unable to sleep, wondering if Ranma
had fallen for one of his `fiancees'. And sometimes she looked at her
nude figure in the mirror in the bathroom, behind locked doors, and
wondered if she was....desirable. She would examine her body from
many vantages and angles, posing a bit here and there to check herself
out. She could never bring herself to admit it publicly but inside she
knew that she enjoyed living under the same roof as Ranma. Hell, she
even treaded close to masturbation, every once in a while. She'd rub her
breasts in the bath, in private, and try to imagine Ranma's hands in place of
hers. Even while in the house, she'd feel his presence just about everywhere.
An unfinished bag of chips here, a bookmarked tankobon there, his shirt
hung on the bannister of the stairway, an abandoned tea kettle on the deck. She
tried to imagine how it was like back when she didn't know him. Her life has
been alot more interesting since he moved into her life, and into that little
space in her heart. She wondered how much more duller and boring her waking
(and sleeping) hours would have been without Ranma, but she couldn't. Ranma
was, in a way, a part of her. But she didn't know if she was a part of him.....
and that made her worry alot more over her appearances than she normally
would. And now that Ranma-chan is into the mix......she paused. <Why
am I worrying over her? She _is_ Ranma, after all. But she _is_ a girl.>
A particularly perverted thought suddenly entered her head, something
concerning herself, Ranma-chan and Ranma...but she took a mental hold of it,
before it could progress any further than it already has, and she stuffed it back
into the recesses of her mind. But the damage has already been done. She
could feel her nipples standing straight and hard, and she was starting to heat up below.
Another leaf blew into the dojo and Akane picked it up too, still absently twirling
the first leaf. Then she stopped and looked at the dojo door. She remembered
closing it before she started working out. She knew she did! But who was
looking in on her? Nobody was there now and there was only the cheep-cheep
of birds getting ready to sleep. She stands, looking at the open dojo door for
a long while, then she tosses both leaves on the floor and prepared the seventeenth
cinder block for destruction.)
(Ranma hung upside down from a treebranch, his pigtail pointing downwards,
hands crossed over his chest. Ranma-chan was doing pushups on the ground
around the tree, huffing and grunting as she did. <She looks really sexy this
way.>, he thought as he eyed her. Then his thoughts turned back to Akane.
He had seen her sitting down on the dojo floor, like she always did after
putting her fist through fifteen or sixteen cinder blocks, musing quietly over
something and reaching up now and then to, he was sure she did it unconsciously,
to touch her hair, or her face. Today, however....)
Ranma-chan : ....and twenty! Whew! (she dropped to the ground and rolled onto her back)
Ranma : Only twenty? (he snorts) I can do two hundred.
Ranma-chan : That's 'cuz I have a heavier chest than you. (Ranma almost falls out of his
tree and she grins. Exactly as she expected him to do.)
Ranma : Hnnnn..ggh. Y-yeah.
Ranma-chan : So what's gotten into you?
Ranma : Huh?
Ranma-chan : What's with the far-away look?
Ranma : I saw Akane in the dojo.
Ranma-chan : So how many did she do before sitting down?
Ranma : Sixteen.
Ranma-chan : She must be really unhappy.
Ranma : And...ahh.....could you do me a favor?
Ranma-chan : What?
Ranma : Put your hand on your, uh, chest and rub your nipples.
Ranma-chan : WHAT?! Why?!
Ranma : Just do it. I saw Akane doing it in the dojo, but she didn't seem to even think about
doing it.
Ranma-chan : You mean she wasn't touching her hair or her face?
Ranma : Nope.
Ranma-chan : Alright. But only to see how it (she rubs herself)...FEELS!
Ranma : I suppose it was...um..nice?
Ranma-chan : Gave me the tinglies.
Ranma : Tinglies?
Ranma-chan : As in `tingles'. Tinglies? Get it? (she rubs her breasts again and her face
turned a deep red when she saw Ranma looking at her.) What are _you_ looking
at, pervert?
Ranma : Pervert? You're the one who is....
Ranma-chan : No, you are. (points at the spot between his legs)
Ranma : Now who's the pervert, looking at a place like that?
Ranma-chan : We're both perverts! (starts to giggle)
Ranma : Hmmph. (flips rightside up and sits on the branch)
Ranma-chan : What do you suppose Akane was thinking about when she did that?
Ranma : I dunno. Probably thinking about some guy she likes, or something.
Ranma-chan : Who? Which guy would she like?
(Ranma sighs inwardly. Sometimes he wondered if Akane had
not already fallen for Ryoga, or some other guy he didn't know
about. Insomnia due to lack of understanding or knowledge of your
fiancee's current likes or dislikes in the game of love is a terrible
thing indeed.)
Ranma-chan : Maybe she has one of those ecchi magazines, or something, and she was just
thinking about it.
Ranma : Ecchi mags? For girls?!
Ranma-chan : Sure, haven't you heard of them? Sayuri and....oops. (glares at Ranma)
I promised not to say a word to anyone else, and to keep it to myself.
Ranma : Then you can tell me. You didn't say a word, you said two words, and I am you.
Ranma-chan : Well.....okay. Sayuri and Sayaka have one copy of these ecchi mags...and
they're for girls only. I saw it in Sayaka's bag, but she said it was her older
sister's. So, to shut me up, she showed me some pics and told me to keep quiet.
(Ranma looks disgusted and Ranma-chan just grins from ear to ear.
She knows what he is thinking, but she decided to ask anyways.)
Ranma-chan : Why _that_ look?
Ranma : I always thought that...that ecchi mags were for men only. That is sick.
Ranma-chan : What about what girls think? To them, it must be sick for other women to
pose naked in ecchi mags.....
Ranma : Did...did you like looking at those pics? Of Sayaka's ecchi mag?
Ranma-chan : Of course I did! (Ranma falls off his branch and hits the ground with an
unceremonious thump) Wa ha ha ha ha ha!
Ranma : You...you're....
Ranma-chan : (walks over to him and kneels by him) Idiot! _That_ was easy...
Ranma : You mean you don't?
Ranma-chan : Nope.
Ranma : Good. I thought you were serious there for a sec.
(Ranma-chan turns away so Ranma couldn't see her face. She really
did like that ecchi mag...but she couldn't bring herself to admit it,
even to herself or himself. It was lucky that Ranma couldn't see
her burning face now, or see how her hand is surreptiously adjusting
her shirt to accomodate her hardening nipples.)
(It is fast approaching dark in Nerima Ward and both the Tendo and
Saotome families are about to have their supper. A night breeze brushes
the wind chimes and the tinkling noise resembles that of a bird's song. A carp
leaps out of the water and catches an insect. The night is quiet and there are
no automobile sounds to ruin the sacredness of the evening.)
Kasumi : Supper is ready, everybody!
Nodoka : Yes, come and eat! (She is wearing her sword-shaped bundle on her back.)
(Chorus of voices) : Okay!
(Ranma pounds downstairs, dressed in his
usual red shirt and black pants, followed closely
by Ranma-chan and Akane. Ranma-chan is wearing
the same clothes as Ranma is, while Akane is dressed
in a knee-length sweater emblazoned with a huge picture
of a clock. Nabiki, Mr. Tendo, Mr. Saotome, and Happosai
are already seating themselves at the table.)
Nodoka : Ranko, could you please help me hand out the rice?
Ranma-chan : Oh..uh..sure! I would..umm...love to!
Nodoka : You are such a sweet girl, Ranko! (Ranma-chan blanches a bit and Ranma tries not
to show any reaction to his mom's statement.)
(Ranma-chan flips the rice bowls to everybody in a flourishing move.
Nodoka seems not to notice her great skill as she calmly puts the food
on the table, even as spinning bowls land all about her in precision order.
The two families settle and begin gorging themselves on the excellent food.
Ranma-chan, noticing that she was just as hungry as Ranma, who was wolfing
down his food, begins to do the same.)
Nodoka : (In a motherly but admonishing tone) Ranko! It is unseemly for a girl to eat like that!
Ranma-chan : Mmmff? (she stuffs more sukiyaki beef into her mouth, swallowed it after a few
chews, and swills a glass of pop.)
Nodoka : (Maintaining the same tone) Ranko, please be more ladylike.
Ranma-chan : (slightly miffed and sullen) Okay.
Ranma : This food is great! More please! (holds out his rice bowl to his mom, who happens
to be close to the rice cooker.)
Nodoka : Ranko, will you please fill up Ranma's bowl for him?
(Ranma-chan's chopsticks, reaching for a carrot, suddenly impales the
vegetable in a swift move.)
Ranma-chan : What?!
Nodoka : Please, Ranko? It is only proper for the man to sit while the woman gives him more
rice. After all, they eat more than we do.
Soun : (to Genma in a hush-hush voice) She is ever the traditionalist, eh Saotome?
genma : (back to Soun in whisper) Sometimes I still think she is living in the past.
Ranma-chan : (Simmering) Sure. (She takes the rice bowl and fills it up with rice. She saunters
over to Ranma and hands it to him.)
Ranma : Thanks, err...Ranko. (He looks up at Ranma-chan with an apologetic look on his
face.)
Ranma-chan : Anytime. (She plops down on her cushion and recommences eating to her fill.)
Nodoka : Does anybody know where Mr. Panda is? I have a whole bagful of peelings and
assorted trash that I'm sure Mr. Panda would eat. (Genma shudders) After all, it
must be very hard to feed a giant panda at his size, wouldn't you all agree?
Kasumi : I'm afraid Mr. Panda doesn't live here anymore. He went somewhere and we've
never seen him again.
(Soun looks in surprise at his eldest daughter. She had never
lied before in her life, until now. Kasumi looks over at her
dad, and gives him a smile. Kasumi will always be Kasumi,
Soun thinks. Thoughts of his dear, departed wife sprang
to the forefront of his mind, and he tried to keep the dam on
those memories from breaking. The only times he allowed
himself to weep for his wife were in front of the altar, before
the portrait of his love. He could remember every line, every
feature on that face. He could remember everything about her,
how he met her, what they did as they courted each other. He
thought of the day he proposed to her, in a restaurant that is
now out of business. He had held her hand, looked her in
the eye and stuttered out the words of proposal. While she
was still in shock, he pulled out his trump card. The wedding
ring fit her finger perfectly, much to his relief, for he had paid
*alot* for it. She smiled then and then she....NO! He musn't
cry during dinner. He cannot.)
(Kasumi turns back to her food. The others think that she'd
always been this way. Not so. Once, a long time ago, she
was like any other girl. She lived her life to the fullest, and
competed for boys in the arena of school. She loved cute
cuddly things and went to every slumber party she could go to.
In many respects, she was like Akane back then, except for
a few details here and there. She looks over at Akane and
sighs a little. Then, her mother died. She cried for a long
time in her room, the empty space in her heart tearing at her
soul, all her thoughts about the funeral. She had come away
changed. Her tears ran dry that day, and she had promised to
try her hardest to fill the void left by her mother's death. She
assumed the mantle of `mother', and she cooked her first meal
in the kitchen by herself. Somehow, it seemed as if the spiritual
essence of her mother was guiding her around the kitchen, telling
her which utensils to use and which ingredients not to mix together.
She lovingly crafted each spring roll to perfection, and patiently
peeled each and every beansprout. When the family ate her first
meal, and her father burst out in tears, and the characteristically
cold and calculating Nabiki wiped a tear away from her eye, she
knew that all her efforts were not wasted. She remembered looking
at her mother's portrait at that moment and feeling a warm sensation
stirring in her heart. Kasumi wiped a tear from her eye. Just
remembering was enough to bring back all the memories. To this
day, she had never once forgotten her mother's face. She didn't
even need to look at the portrait to see the love in her face, the patience
and understanding reflected on her face.)
Nodoka : Oh, is that right? I'm so sorry, you all must miss him. (Ranma and Ranma-chan
glare at Genma, who hides his face behind his bowl) Ranma, why don't you tell me
about your trip to Jusenkyo? Did you train very hard there?
(Genma freezes up and tries to draw as little attention to himself as possible.)
Ranma : Uhh...okay. Me and Dad had a very intense swim over to China and we met this
guide, who showed us to the Training Grounds.
Nodoka : Go on, please.
Ranma : Sure..we trained some and I...almost hit Dad into the Spring of Drowned Panda.
Nodoka : Spring of Drowned.....Panda?
(<Oh no!>, Ranma thought, <I'm gonna give away Pop's
secret if I talk about it longer. Gotta wrap it up real
fast!>.)
Ranma : Sure, you know...like there is a curse that changes those who fall into the springs
into whatever had drowned there a long time ago.
Nodoka : So, there must be alot of springs there?
Ranma : Yes, uhh...lots of springs. Yeah.
Nodoka : All kinds of drowned animals? Even people?
Ranma : Yeah...I..uh..think so. And then we left that place and....
Nodoka : Imagine if you had fallen into a spring, my son! Oh, the horror of my only, manly,
son being cursed with an alternate body. It would be my duty as a mother to help
such an inflicted son in the only way that I can. (She unshoulders her bundle and
places it by her side. Ranma, Ranma-chan and Genma pale simultaneously.)
Genma : It.....would be a very terrible tragedy indeed, dear.
Nodoka : Yes, dear. Very, very terrible indeed. Imagine if my son had fallen into a spring,
dear, because of you. Bad enough that he would be some sort of animal half the time.
Imagine if he had fallen into a spring where some poor girl had drowned a long time
ago! The humiliation of having a son, who is not a son!! The Saotome line would
have to end there, to save our family honor. (She pats the bundle.)
Ranma : (eating very quickly) Well, I've gotta go. (he puts the empty rice bowl back
on the table and gets up.) Seeya! (he exits to the garden and leaps ontop of
the roof.)
Ranma-chan : (setting aside her half-full rice bowl and relinquishing her sukiyaki) I'm not
hungry anymore. I've also gotta go! Seeya! (she follows Ranma)
Nodoka : Sometimes I think Ranko picks up too many bad habits from Ranma. To think
Akane's cousin would spend more time with my boy than with Akane. She is
unlady-like some of the times, but she's a good girl.
Akane : Yes, Auntie Saotome. She may be strange sometimes, but then she was brought up
in the country, you know. (she is hoping that her fast-talk was enough to fool Mrs.
Saotome.)
Nodoka : Ah, yes! Thank you, Akane. I forgot that little detail. I suppose a country
upbringing can influence the way a lady should act.
Genma : (nodding his head) Um-hmm.
Nodoka : Isn't it strange, though, how Ranko looks so much like Ranma? (Genma splutters)
Soun : Strange, isn't it? (wipes a sweat drop off his forehead.)
Nodoka : The both of them have the same haircut, the same pigtail, and they even dress the
same, sometimes. A girl shouldn't dress like a boy, it detracts from her femine
nature. She should be dressing more like she was earlier today, it brings out the
full bloom of her beauty!
Genma : (looking very flustered, as if a secret was on the verge of being discovered) Dear, let
me talk to Ran..ko later, okay? She knows me longer than she has known you and
I'll ask her to act more like a lady. Okay, dear? Let me handle it!
Nodoka : Thank you, dear. Well, if everyone has finished eating, then let me and Kasumi help
wash the dishes and put them away.
(She and Kasumi get up at the same time and begin putting away
the dirty dishes. Akane runs up to her bedroom and opens her
window. She can hear Ranma and Ranma-chan talking quietly
on the roof right above her window)
Ranma : I've never been so scared in my life! I thought, for sure, she was gonna find out
that I had really fallen into that damned spring!
Ranma-chan : I left before she could draw any conclusions from the way that we look alike,
dress alike, talk alike, and everything.
Ranma : Everything?
Ranma-chan : (slightly embarassed) Except for...you know.
Ranma : Oh, right. (a long pause. Akane narrows her eyes slightly and tries to crane her
head out of the window - to see what the two are doing.) Still, anyways, let's be
more careful around her, okay? I'm gonna go and catch up on my homework.
Ranma-chan : Well, seeya. (sound of rustling clothes as Ranma-chan leaps off the roof. Ranma
leaves similarly after a short while. Akane closes her window and falls on her
bed, deep in thought. She gets up, checks the TV guide, and goes to get Nabiki.)
(Ranma-chan falls onto the couch and turns the TV on. She surfs the
channels, looking for something exciting. A football game comes on
and she watches it for some time, before changing to an action movie.
Bored of the action movie, she randomly picks a channel and changes
to it.)
TV : And now, our annual Body-Builders Unlimited Spectacle! See the men who develop
the muscles to the point of perfection! Up first, Mr. Universe!
Ranma-chan : Wow. Look at the muscles on that guy!
(her eyes are glued onto the TV screen and she feels a not unfamiliar
sensation, the same thing she felt when she was looking at those ecchi
mags just yesterday. Her body tingles slightly and her heart starts
to beat faster. She also remembers a similar feeling while watching the
female swimsuit channels, when she was a guy.)
Ranma-chan : This is freaky. I'm getting outta here.
(She quickly shuts off the TV and leaves the room. After
a while, Akane and Nabiki walk into the room and flick on
the TV)
Nabiki : I sure hope I haven't missed that Body-Builders program! (The TV finally focuses)
Akane : Hey, it's already on that channel. Oh well, all the better for us.
(The two sit and watch, entranced by the allure of the program.
Ranma-chan walks by the living room and catches sight of the
program again. She sees Akane and Nabiki intently watching
the TV. Nabiki, ever resourceful, had stuck in a tape in the
VCR and she was recording it even as they watched in rapt
fascination.)
Ranma-chan : (aloud) And you guys call me a pervert!
Nabiki : Do be quiet, Ranko, and let me concentrate on it.
Akane : Ranko, were you watching this channel? It was already on this channel when we
turned it on.
Ranma-chan : N..no! No way! Why would I ever want to watch a program featuring bare
g-guy bodies?! I'd rather watch the Annual Swimsuit Show, if you ask me!
Akane : Okay, if you say so.
Ranma-chan : Change the channel, willya?
Akane : No way! This is a once a year event and it's very popular! Besides, we have first
dibs on the TV.
(She turns back to watching the show, yet Ranma-chan doesn't leave.
She stands in the doorway, enjoying the pleasurable sensations
coursing up and down her body. She starts to drool a little as more,
and more, tightly muscled men in teeny trunks ascend the stage to show
off their bodies. Suddenly a hand drops on her shoulder and she jumps,
badly startled.)
Genma : Hello there, Ranko. Your...I mean my wife asked me to speak to you about
something.
Ranma-chan : (in an angry whisper) Dad!! Don't shock me like that!
Genma : Hmmm, you shouldn't have been so easily caught off guard....I wonder what made you
so careless.....(he looks around the corner, where the TV is situated.)
Ranma-chan : Umm..err..well, uh..it is not REALLY what it seems to be!
Genma : (watching the show) Whatever you say, Ranko. (turns back to Ranma-chan.) Since
when did you ever watch shows like those?
Ranma-chan : C'mon, let's go someplace private. Tell me what Mo..Mrs Saotome wants of me.
(The two run silently to the backyard of the Tendo residence. They
give the kitchen a wide berth and they stand far out of earshot of the
house.)
Ranma-chan : Well?
Genma : Your mom's getting closer to the truth, Ranma. When you two had left so hurriedly
after supper, she remarked about how similar the two of you seem.
Ranma-chan : You mean, like the way we dress, talk, behave, and all that stuff?
Genma : Right. For starters, to divert attention from yourself, why don't you dress more....
uhh...you know.
Ranma-chan : So you want me to dress more like a girl, more often?
Genma : Yes.
Ranma-chan : Not to worry, Dad. I've already got myself some feminine attire. A bra and
a pair of panties for one thing. Then I've got this really cool looking swimsuit
that really shows off a lotta skin, considering it is a one-piece swimsuit and all....
and then...
Genma : Bra?! Panties?!! What's gotten into you, boy? (grabs Ranma-chan by the shirt front)
Ranma-chan : (annoyed, through clenched teeth) GET WITH IT, DAD. I'm a GIRL now,
remember? (she looks down at her father's hands, still clutching the front of
her shirt.)
Genma : Oh, sor..sorry!! (lets go of Ranma-chan's shirt front.)
(He looks long and hard at Ranma-chan, his..daughter,
and he wonders just what is happening to her...)
Ranma-chan : Why the strange look?
Genma : Just remember who you really are, okay boy?
Ranma-chan : That's the hard part, Dad. Sometimes, I do things that I would have never
considered doing when me and Ranma were one person.
Genma : Tell me, boy. Did you....like watching that...that show?
Ranma-chan : ......Don't ask me things like those, Dad. Not now.
Genma : Tell me! I need to know what is happening to you!
(With an adamant shake of her head, Ranma-chan spins on
one heel and walks quietly away. She doesn't look back
and her hands are in her pocket. Genma stares after the
retreating form of his son/daughter. A cricket chirps.)