Notes from the Bunker
                            Dispatch #11



     Once again, I venture forth to do battle with the dark forces of
Anime.  Anime, the most.... (what!?....Not now Passionate Fox, Chief
Long Pole is kinda busy.  Why don't you go play with the nice toys
Aunt Kun-chan brought back from Nerima for you.)
     Now, where was I.....Oh, yes...  Anime, the most evil force in
the universe, mega or micro.  Having braved...( What is it now?!? ....
No, I don't know what size batteries it takes.  Yes, I suppose it does
kinda look like a boy thing.  How should I know if it's the same size
as Ranma's?  Ask your Aunt Kun-chan, she was there.)
     I'm never going to get this dispatch done with all these
interruptions. [sigh] Ok, let's try again. [phone ringing] Damn phone.
     "Yes?  Oh, hi oh Kunny baby, how's tricks?  Sorry, bad joke. 
Hey! I said I'm sorry.  What?  No, you did not leave your underwear
here.  What?  Oh, all right.  I'll check. [turning from phone] PANTY
CHECK!"
     [chorus of happy voices] Neato!  Allright!  Cool!   What?

     "Ok.  We've got: pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink,
pink, blue poka dot, pink, and pink.  Nope, not a leopard print in the
bunch.  Sorry babe, not here.  Yeah, thanks for calling." [hangs up
then quickly redials operator] "Yes, operator.  I'd like to reverse
the charges on that last phone call.  Thank you." <Call me collect
from Australia, will she.  I don't care if she *is* a college student. 
She found enough money to get to Japan.>
     "Do-Anything-For-A-Beer Fox, will you take off those ridiculous
looking poka dot panties...... NOT IN HERE!"

     Now, where was I?..... Space, the final frontier....NONONO.  
[sound of wife softly rapping at door] BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!!!

     "Yes sweetie."
     "There's someone named 'Zen' here to see you."
     "Male or female."
     "Well, it's kinda hard to tell."
     "Toss some hot water on *it* and get back to me."
     "Okie dokie."

     Ok, back to the dispatch.   [sounds of Zen screaming his little
Tennessee knickers off.] Hmmmmmm, perhaps I should have said 'warm'
water.  Oh well.  (What is it *now*, Kissy Fox?..... I do *not* know
where you put your inflatable Kuno doll.  Honestly, for the life of
me, I cannot understand why you keep that absurd looking thing around
here.  Yes, I *know* it has an impressive bokkan.  No, I DO NOT KNOW
WHERE THE BATTERIES GO!)  Excuse me while I shut the door
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

     Sorry, Big Boobs Fox lost her marbles again and I had to help her
look for them. 

     [More sounds of Zen's screams.]

     "Greg dear."
     "Yes, wife.  What is it?"
     "I've poured 20 gallons of boiling hot water on *it* and *it*
refuses to change."
     "Try cold water, dear."
     "Okie dokie."

     What?  Oh, yes, the dispatch.

     The anxiously awaited nuptials of White Wolf and Kodachi Kuno has
been called off.  Skuld showed up and claimed her (man? / wolf? /
person?).  In any case, Kodachi is on the loose and should be
considered sexually frustrated and dangerous.  She was last reported
on what was left of the American West Coast searching for horny male
FFML members of college age.  If you should see this person, do *not*
attempt to satisfy by yourself.  Call for help.  That number is 1-800-JUSENKYO.  Whatever answers has a better chance of subduing a
rampaging Kodachi on hormone overload than you, so don't take any
chances.

     [Yet more sounds of Zen's screams.]

     "Greg dear."
     "Yes, wife.  What is it?"
     "I've hosed it down and rolled it in the snow.  It *still*
refuses to change."
     "Ok, I'll take care of it." [Turns to his most deadly, hormone
driven weapon: Lusty Fox.] "Will you be a dear and check this 'Zen'
person out?  Thank you."

     Wyrm and Wyrm-chan have continued their battle over the tardis
and who was responsible for Happousai's getting aboard in the first
place.  It would seem that the crafty little rascal cloned himself
into hundreds of little perverts.  Reportedly, Bridget bailed while
she still had one pair of clean panties left to attend a wedding (we
understand no Anime characters were present.  However, she did report
some strange goins on during a trip across Nebraska.  Authorities here
in the bunker have chalked it up to Nebraska being an incredibly
boring state).  Shannon got so bored she produced another chapter to
her Dragon Dreams series, but no one noticed. (HEY! *I* did and it was
cool.)  And Misa invited the rest of the 'rescued' ladies to a weekend
at the spas around Bath.  All in all, a good time had by, well, all.

     [Zen's screams have ceased but the distinct smell of a sexually
aroused Fox filled the bunker] That reminds me, I've got to order more
air freshener.

     Meanwhile, Sebastian, depressed over discovering Ranko has been
coloring her hair black just for him, wrote his own... er... lemony
sort of thingy... er... story...   In any case, our poor little
Teutonic twit used his parents computer to produce this masterpiece of
smut.  Unfortunately, he forgot and left the disk in the computer.  We
understand he will be 'un-grounded' sometime in 2026.  Ranko insists
she'll wait for him, but you know how these things go.

     [Strange moans coming from the front yard have attracted the
attention of just about every cat in heat in the city.]

     Trish Ledoux is on the loose and should be considered sexually
frustrated and dangerous.  She was last reported on what was left of
the American West Coast searching for horny male FFML members of
college age.  If you should see this person, do *not* attempt to
satisfy by yourself.  Call for help.  That number is 1-800-JUSENKYO. 
Whatever answers has a better chance of subduing a rampaging Trish
Ledoux on hormone overload than you, so don't take any chances.

     We understand that Ranma refuses to return Kun-chan's phone calls
and insists "it's the girl's responsibility to provide protection
against that sort of thing."  Stay tuned as things 'develop'.  Oh, my.

     Sean Gaffney seems to have written himself into a corner with
Belldandy.  It seems she prefers Keiichi over him.  However, Skuld has
expressed a preference for Sean.  Jim Biles and White Wolf have both
protested and the whole thing's gone to arbitration.  The last thing
we heard was that Sean would not be suspended during the playoffs but
would have to sit out the first five games of the next season.  His
lawyers are appealing (but not as appealing as Sensual Fox).

     Suds-kun (aka Shaun Schillinger) is considering rewriting his
'Dear Diary' series with Kasumi as a happy axe murderer.  We spoke to
Kasumi's agent, Sly Fox, and she indicated there was certainly a
possibility Kasumi would take the part.  "She needs to grow,
professionally," Fox said.  "She's getting typecast as a mild-mannered
domestic goddess and all the good parts are passing her by."  Fox was
unable to say just *what* parts she was talking about but it's no
secret Kasumi has always wanted to do a good Project Ako script or
perhaps a BGC guest shot as a boomer with a heart.  We'll keep an eye
on this one.

     Kasumi Tendo is on the loose and should be considered sexually
frustrated and dangerous.  She was last reported on what was left of
the American West Coast searching for horny male FFML members of
college age.  If you should see this person, do *not* attempt to
satisfy by yourself.  Call for help.  That number is 1-800-JUSENKYO. 
Whatever answers has a better chance of subduing a rampaging Kasumi on
hormone overload than you, so don't take any chances.

     [Zen's moans have grown along with those of Lusty.]  

     Greg's getting a little 'warm' down here in the bunker.  Perhaps
if Passionate Fox is done with that 'Nabiki' doll...  Now, where did I
put all those quarters?  (Damn thing's hungrier than a car wash.)