The lights come up in the theatre. We see Lyra stage center, sitting 
quietly with a sober look on her face. Windir and Frito flank her, 
looking somewhat disgruntled.

Lyra: Hello, and good evening. Before we begin tonight's review, we would 
like to apologize to the author for a certain... um, excessive zeal on 
the part of the review team in a prior critique. We...

Windir: Ahem.

Lyra: <Looking over at him in surprise> What?

Windir: Well. If my esteemed colleague could restrain her excessive sense 
of personal responsibility for a moment, it would be in order to point 
out that, in fact, culpability for the prior critique does *not* lie with 
this review team, but rather with its editor. While the apology may in 
this case be expressed through the medium of this review session, it is 
important for the author to note where the actual responsibility lies.

Frito: Yeah, she's just kissin' up to da boss again!

Lyra: <Outraged look> WHAT? Why, you little weasel! <Jumps up to strangle 
Frito, who by this point is two seats away and accelerating rapidly.> 
It's our *job* to save face for our teammates, like with any good team!

Windir: <Looking after the running figures> Sigh.

[Editor's note: <Sigh> Gomen. You're right. Raphael, I do apologize for 
being excessive the last time around.]

From:        SEE, raphael@asu.edu

   Okay, hope you all had a splendid Labor Day!
   Here's part Three of my fanfic. Travis Butler will be pleased to note 
that there are *gasp* lines between paragraphs! :P 

Windir: <Looking vaguely satisfied> As I said. Responsibility where it is 
due.

Lyra returns to her seat, panting slightly. Frito limps over, rubbing a 
lump on his head.

Lyra: All right, all right. <Sigh> Let's get on with the review, and see 
what amends we can make.

Scoop of the Day
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction

Thanks to Mike W. Loader, without whom Noriko, Suzuki, and the rest of 
the "Furinkan Informer" would end up in a dark, damp corner of my mind 
and doubtless die of malnourishment.

Windir: Yes. While Mr. Loader has much to learn about keeping his 
characters under reasonable control --

Lyra: "Like herding cats," I believe our not-so-fearless leader said? 
<Smiles sweetly> I think he was referring to you at the time.

Windir: AHEM... IF I could continue? Mr. Loader does have a certain 
talent for catalytic inspiration. Not to overlook the non-trivial fact 
that he is a fellow journalist.

Chapter Three: I'm Editor-In-Chief


	The after-school meeting in the journalism room was starting to 
wind down, and Noriko was handing out the last of the assignments for the 
week. "So, we've got Wataru covering this week's damage and Takaya doing 
the rugby game, right? Right." Noriko paused for a moment, making sure 
that there wasn't anything else that needed to be taken care of. With 
Watanabe-sensei out of town for the week, Noriko was left with the job of 
conducting meetings for the newspaper, and she didn't want to forget 
anything important. "Okay, that's it for this week, then. Thanks for all 
of your hard work, and keep it up!" The meeting ended as the students got 
up and slowly trickled out the door. Noriko sat back down at her desk, 
grateful for another meeting gone smoothly without interruption from some 
disaster.

Windir: Ah. Now this is the Noriko I like and respect; intelligent, 
concerned with her duty and her people.

Frito: Aw, shucks! She ain't no fun!

Lyra: <Aside to Windir> And here I'd hoped that he would keep some of 
that maturity he learned in the "Serena and Luna" review.

Windir: It was a vain hope.

	"Well..." Suzuki scratched his head, not sure how to phrase what 
he was about to say. "I'm a little worried about her, I guess. Chief 
hasn't been acting like herself lately, writing all those things against 
violence and martial arts for the 'Informer.' And now she seems to be 
obsessed with getting some kind of scoop on Saotome. You think she's 
getting in over her head?" At first, Suzuki had simply dismissed her 
recent fascination with Ranma to the sudden news of the "Informer's" bad 
financial standings, but her behavior had continued to progress past the 
point of Suzuki's comfort. He hoped that she wasn't letting the news get 
the better of her.

Lyra: This does help clear up the problems with 'journalistic standards' 
that our editor... ah, noted... with chapter 2. <Rushed> You're probably 
going to hate me for saying this, the last sentence or two seems like 
it's going a bit *too* far in response... <Relaxes> but overall, a good 
bit and a big help.

	Gosunkugi thought for a moment, but another crew member had 
overheard Suzuki's concerns and decided to answer for him. "Aaahhhh, it's 
probably that time of the month for her or something," he remarked 
carelessly. A few of the others laughed in response, but their laughter 
quickly died when Suzuki whacked the eavesdropper on the head. 

Lyra: Arrgh. I want that s\c\u\m\ crew member taken to Juysenkyo. Now.

	A nagging doubt crossed her mind again. Should she really go 
through with this? It wasn't exactly the most ethical thing to be done, 
and it could really be bad for the "Informer" if things got out of 
control. Mr. Watanabe was out of town for the next week; maybe she should 
wait until the edition after and get his approval, or forget this crazy 
idea altogether, or...

	Noriko shook her head again, chasing away her conscience. *It 
_is_ his fault, and he deserves this!* Noriko clenched her fist without 
realizing it. *He's the one that's responsible for all the property 
damage and chaos that's happened for the past year, and he's always 
gotten away with it! I'm the only one that can show everyone the truth!* 
Her conscience jabbed her once more at the word "truth," and Noriko tried 
once more to shake off her trepidation.

Frito: Aw, what's da big deal? 

Windir: It has to do with Journalism Ethics, Frito; a topic you would 
undoubtedly fail to understand if it were paraded a foot in front of your 
eyes in six-inch-tall letters. A true journalist is responsible for not 
only double-checking the accuracy of the sources she uses; she is also 
required to get reports from as many witnesses as possible, to make sure 
that she is not missing important facts. And, above all, she is required 
to keep her personal feelings out of the story as much as possible. In 
this passage, we are shown that Noriko's own personal axe to grind is 
interfering with her duty as a journalist; her prejudice against martial 
artists is leading her to attribute all of the school's woes to Ranma. 
The fact that we the readers know the other side of the story highlights 
the guilt pangs Noriko shows, and allow them to point out that she is not 
living up to the standards of her chosen profession.

	Noriko's temper began to flare. "Are you questioning my judgment 
as a journalist??"

	Suzuki quailed a bit, fearful of what might come next. "Yes! I 
mean, no! I mean, maybe you should think about it a little before you go 
and do something you might regret..." Suzuki trailed off uneasily, but 
quickly regained his trail of thought. "Chief, this isn't like you," he 
said with a little more resolve in his voice. "For the past week and a 
half, you've done nothing but blame everything that's wrong on Ranma. 
It's almost..." Suzuki searched for just the right words. "...It's almost 
as if you've got some kind of vendetta against this guy whom you don't 
even know. Really, maybe you should rethink printing this project."

	Noriko stood up from her desk, fuming. "Just because you're a 
year older than me doesn't mean that you know everything, you know!! I've 
been working on this a long time, and I'd think you'd realize that I've 
already looked into everything as best as I could before starting this 
project!!" Noriko realized in the back of her mind that her last 
statement was only half-true, but her temper had been triggered and there 
was no turning back. "I'm just as good a journalist as anyone else on the 
'Informer,' including you! And furthermore, as editor-in-chief of the 
'Informer,' I have final say on what gets printed if Mr. Watanbe's not in 
town, which means that I don't have to listen to anything you or anyone 
else has to say to me! It's my prerogative to do special features, and 
I'll be darned if anyone is going to stop me!!" She slammed her fist on 
the desk for emphasis.

Frito: Ahhh, enough with da speechmakin' already! 

Windir: Indeed, the author would be advised to break up some of these 
long passages. One must realize that (sadly, for those of who remember 
the true art of language, as practiced by such great novelists as Dickens 
and Dumas) many if not most of today's readers have a rather limited 
attention span; long passages that cover substantial breadth of text tend 
to induce skimming in readers, and may even induce readers to skip the 
passage altogether. The author has taken the first step in fixing this, 
by breaking up Noriko's speech with some of her reactions and thoughts; 
however, an additional improvement might come if there were a reasonable 
way to reduce the volume of speech that she delivers.

Lyra: <Rolling her eyes> Speaking of pots and kettles...

	Several tense moments passed before Suzuki slowly turned away and 
headed for the door. "All right, Chief, if that's the way you'll have it, 
then I guess I won't stand in the way," Suzuki said, obviously affected 
by Noriko's tirade. He paused as he reached the door and sighed. "Still, 
I think you might be making a mistake on this," he said over his shoulder 
before the door clicked shut behind him.

	Noriko slowly sank back to her seat, slightly shocked at the way 
she had responded to Suzuki's obviously well-intended statements. He was 
a full grade higher than her, after all, and had actually been next in 
line for editor-in-chief before Noriko had showed up and took the 
position instead. Unlike what most people would have been in his 
situation, though, he had been nothing but supportive of Noriko, 
teasingly giving her the moniker "Chief" as a subtle reminder of what she 
had taken from him. Noriko appreciated the high-quality work Suzuki 
produced under her command as layout editor. Others certainly wouldn't 
have done likewise, and Noriko wasn't even sure if she would have done 
the same had the situation been reversed. And now, she had just told him 
off, pulling rank and shoving his sacrifice back in his face.

	Noriko held her head in her hands and sighed. *No use trying to 
undo what's been done, I guess,* she thought somewhat despondently. *I'd 
better get back to finishing this feature of mine; after all, I did say 
that I was going to print it. Darn it! If it weren't for all those 
martial artists, this wouldn't be happening to me.*

Windir: Again, while the introspection and soul-searching is welcome, it 
is rather long-winded --

Lyra: Heh.

Windir: What was that?

Lyra: Oh, nothing, nothing. <Smiles innocently>

Windir: <Giving her a suspicious look> Indeed. As I was saying, the 
sentiments are indeed meritorious, but their expression goes on for what 
could be a tiring length. 

Lyra: There are a couple of things you could try: 1. First, try cutting 
back the description to the smallest, most basic statement of the most 
important things you're trying to bring out here -- like "Suzuki was a 
grade ahead of her and would have been chief editor if she hadn't taken 
it from him. He'd continued working for her as a subordinate editor, and 
done an excellent job... and she'd just demeaned that sacrifice by 
telling him off." Then expand it out just enough to make it flow nicely, 
and compare it to your original... and see if that helps you reword your 
original to a tighter, more effective statement. 2. Instead of putting 
all of this information in flat statements, try suggesting it through 
other events -- maybe she's got a framed copy of the first issue with her 
name on the masthead sitting on her desk, and use that to convey the 
information about their positions.

Frito: <Disgustedly> Thank you, Miz Exposition. Ya know, you're gettin' 
as bad as Wind-bag!

	Deadline day arrived once again for the "Informer," and the crew 
was once again scrambling to turn in their assignments before it was time 
to send the final layout to the presses. 

	"Where's that rugby story I assigned??" Noriko hollered.

	"Here it is, Noriko!" Noriko snatched the paper up and quickly 
skimmed it.

	"Who's got the pictures from the flower arrangement show from 
last week?"

	"It's on your desk in a white envelope!" Noriko found the 
envelope under a stack of paperwork.

Frito: This is good. It ain't long-winded, and it carries ya along 
without havin' ta slog through all da longer crap.

Windir: Truly, you have no appreciation for the stylistic excellence that 
can be achieved through proper application of extended verbiage. <Pauses 
for a second> Nonetheless, this passage does flow well, and gives a vivid 
impression of the newsroom events.

	Ranma glanced at the page. "WHAT!?" he yelped in shock. In big 
bold letters on the top of the sheet were the words "MARTIAL ARTS: CRIME 
FODDER?" Directly underneath the headline were photos of Ranma in both 
male and female form from the front and from the side. "These...these 
look like mug shots or something!" Still in shock, Ranma read the first 
few sentences in the first paragraph. 

	"In the ancient days, practitioners of martial arts adhered 
closely to the principles of bushido and budo, the ways of the warrior. 
Honor and integrity were valued above all, and the warrior code 
transcended any animalistic lust for violence. 

Lyra: Sounds like she's got more than a passing familiarity with the 
discipline, ne?

However, these values have 
gone into decline as time has progressed, and today martial arts are less 
of a code of honor than simply a more efficient way of beating an 
opponent into submission. In the case of Furinkan High," Ranma paused and 
gulped. "In the case of Furinkan High, which houses a relatively large 
amount of proficient martial artists, countless cases of destruction and 
mayhem have occurred within the last two years, all in the name of 
martial arts. Property damage, truancy, insubordination, delinquency, and 
harassment can all be found on the list of offenses committed by Furinkan 
martial artists. Just a few days ago, however, the latest and possibly 
most deplorable addition was made to this list in the form of assault and 
battery when Ranma Saotome brutally attacked two of the 'Informer's' 
reporters pursuing a story." Immediately after the paragraph was a recent 
photo of Suzuki and Gosunkugi after the incident with Ryoga. They looked 
terrible, with bandages all over and leaning on crutches. 

Windir: The paragraph as a whole is a rather histrionic piece. This, 
however, is not a bad thing in this context; the entire purpose of this 
paragraph is to establish by example that Noriko has overstepped her 
bounds as a reporter.

	Ranma folded the paper and slipped it into his pants pocket. 
"Nothing, that's what. I mean, what's anyone going to do, huh? If anyone 
asks me, I'll just tell 'em what happened. Who's gonna believe..." Ranma 
pulled out the article again and looked at the byline. "...some girl 
named Noriko Hirauchi, anyway?"

Frito: Ya know... dis line is just *beggin'* for a response...

	"Ranma Saotome, you vile miscreant and cur! Prepare to pay for 
your trespasses!" a voice shouted from the distance. Ranma sighed and 
followed the familiar voice to a student dressed in blue robes wielding a 
wooden bokken. Ranma's friends quickly scurried away, knowing what was 
coming next.

Lyra: Right on cue. Poor Noriko.

Frito: Huh?

Windir: Does it not say something about her writing, when Tatewaki Kuno 
is presented as the first person who believed it?

Frito: Oh.

	"Silence, wretch!" Kuno pointed his bokken at Ranma. "So, your 
cowardice has driven you to prey on defenseless students for your 
pleasure!" Kuno held up a page from the "Informer" for emphasis. "It is 
apparent that I, Tatewaki Kuno, must bring you to justice!" He charged at 
Ranma, bokken pointed straight at Ranma's heart.

Lyra: Nice Kuno paragraph... <She breaks off, and looks at Windir for a 
moment, before shaking her head.> Nah, couldn't be.

Windir: <Frostily> And what, perchance, are you implying?

	"Geez. Well, if it's just Kuno that's worked up about that 
article, it ain't so bad, I guess."

Windir: Another cue?

	"Aloha, Ranma!" Ranma jerked his head up and saw a Hawaii-decked 
man on a skateboard hurtling towards him. "It's time to punish you for 
your misbehavior!" Pineapple bombs began exploding around Ranma as he 
frantically dodged. 

Lyra: Uh-huh. <Snicker>

	"Ranma Saotome, you are a naughty delinquent! Picking on 
defenseless reporters! You should be taught a lesson!" came a 
high-pitched, female voice from behind him. Ranma whirled to see a short 
girl in a yellow dress holding a five-yen piece in front of her. "Yoiko 
no taizo, step one! Happo-go-yen-zatsu!" 

Lyra: <Puzzled> Now where did that come from?

Windir: Indeed... while our only direct acquaintance with Hinako-sensei 
comes from the subtitled OAV episode, I nonetheless received the 
impression that she did not engage in 'hunting expeditions,' as it were, 
on her own initiative; rather, she showed a pattern of reacting to 
situations actively presented to her, such as her encounter with Happosai 
after one of his panty raids, her finding Gosenkugi under attack, or 
Ranma's challenge at the athletic field. (One possible exception being 
her summoning Ranma to the office, to discuss the stolen yen coin.) Then 
again, it is quite possible that other episodes, in manga volumes that we 
have not seen, do in fact portray her in such a hunting role. 

Frito: Aw, for Pete's sake! Quit tryin' ta analyze it ta death, here! 
It's funny, OK? Deal.

	"EEYAARGH!" Ranma howled in frustration, barely dodging the 
debilitating chi-absorbing blast. Principal Kuno emerged from behind the 
corner and started assailing Ranma with renewed fervor. Ranma frantically 
ran, dodging nets, pineapple bombs, and chi-absorbers all at once. He saw 
a row of bushes and was nearly blown to bits by a set of hidden land 
mines when he tried to dive behind them. Ranma heard snickering from one 
side. 

	"At last, Akane Tendo will be ours!" cackled the president of the 
Chem Club as the Chem club activated mine after mine, gleefully watching 
Ranma handle two assailants and a mine field at once.

	"Happo-go-yen-zatsu!"

	"Time for a haircut!"

	"And now, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High shall smite you!" 
Kuno had landed from his assisted flight and charged madly at Ranma with 
a new bokken supplied by Sasuke, who threw nets, snares, ropes, lines, 
and anything else the gopher-faced ninja could produce from the folds of 
his uniform.

Frito: Yahhhhh!

Windir: Heh.

	*This could be bad,* Ranma thought to himself. 

Lyra: <Dryly> No doubt.

End part three

Lyra: Not a bad ending, either. <Snicker>

Okay, that's it for now! A few comments on this part before I sign off 
and work on part four:
   This chapter didn't come very easily. The major struggles Noriko goes 
through are partially influenced by the comments of Travis Butler and 
Zen, who I'd like to thank for providing useful, insightful C&C.

[Editor's note: Erm, thanks. Not sure I deserve it, though.]

right now.) Also, this chapter isn't quite as fast-paced and wacky as the 
other two, which concerns me just a little bit (only a little, mind 
you). However, things should get better in the next installment (yes, I 
know I said that last time).

Windir: It did indeed slow down by a notable amount in this chapter. The 
introspection scenes --

[Editor's note: All right, all right, I *know* that's one of the things I 
was pushing for in the C&C I did on Chapter 2. And I still think --]

Lyra: Yes, I think they're needed, and they add to the story; the main 
thing I'd to is tighten 'em up, give 'em a little more punch, and make 
'em a little less melodramatic.

Thanks to Mike W. Loader without whom this fic would never have gotten 
off the ground.

And an apology to Mike W. Loader for shamelessly stealing his ideas for 
journalism-style martial arts techniques.

Frito: Da mad journalist strikes again!

Lyra: They turned out rather well, didn't they?

Chapter Four: Noriko Strikes!

	Elsewhere in Furinkan High, Noriko's feature editorial was 
causing quite a stir. Ranma was already a minor celebrity among the 
students of Furinkan, and the "Informer's" article only served to 
heighten their fascination with the greatest teenaged martial artist 
Nerima had ever known. Students who were either friends or sympathizers 
with Ranma were slightly upset over the article and refused to believe 
its contents. On the other hand, the majority of students (particularly 
male ones who had never quite gotten over Akane Tendo) felt that the 
article was long in coming and that it was time that Ranma got his due. 
In either case, talk within the halls of Furinkan was all about Ranma 
Saotome and his innocence, or lack thereof. Even the journalism room 
itself housed a lively discussion of Noriko's handiwork.

Lyra: Again, it'd be better to at least break this up a little with 
actual examples; you don't want to have too many 'summary blocks,' and 
these actions have the potential to be *very* funny if they're handled 
right.

Windir: It brings to mind some of the opening/closing narrations Susan 
Ivanova has done in some of the Babylon 5 episodes. Note, however, that 
these narrations are always voice-overs, covering a series of actions 
that highlight what she's actually saying. Take the closing narration in 
the last episode of Season 2, where her narration about things getting 
worse at home is accompanied by the picture of a shop being closed by the 
Nightwatch.

Frito: How 'bout da *opening* narration in da first episode of Season 2? 
I loved da way she faced down dem complainers...

Lyra: "And if you're not happy with the seating arrangements, I will 
personally order your seats moved outside, down the hall, across the 
station, and into the fusion reactors." Heh. A funny one, this time; 
also, a good example of how a break in the narration can be used to good 
effect.

	"Did you read Noriko's thing today? Pretty daring, huh? I never 
knew she had it in her!"

	"I guess she wants to end the year with a bang. You know, step on 
some toes while we're still alive."

Lyra: These aren't bad; but they aren't all that great, either. I don't 
get any feel for who's speaking or what context they're speaking in. I'd 
cut this down to two or three well-chosen quotes, and put them in context 
so we can see a bit more of who's saying it and how -- for example, a 
photographer leaning against a table in the darkroom, looking at one of 
Gos's cameras, would be a good context for the quote about how they're 
doing. Or something like this:

--------
One of the reporters cornered a member of the ad staff behind the copy 
machine. "Did you read Noriko's thing today?" He pulled out a copy of the 
insert and brandished it at the unfortunate victim, then leaned over 
confidentially. "Pretty daring, huh? I never knew she had it in her!"
--------

	A small object hit the back of Suzuki's head, and he quickly 
turned to see Gosunkugi strewing a copious quantity of small glass 
spheres about while wearing a pair of lit candles around his head.

	"That fool Saotome! Something terrible will happen to us soon, I 
know it!" Gosunkugi cast another handful of spheres onto the floor, which 
rolled in all directions. 

	"Gosunkugi! What the heck are you doing??" Suzuki asked, not just 
a little bit irritated at Gosunkugi's irrational behavior.

	Gosunkugi pointed to Suzuki's copy of the "Informer." 
"Noriko-san's article is going bring disaster on us all! Ranma might come 
to finish what he started!" He reached into his bookbag and produced 
another handful of glass bearings. "These Spheres of Blessing I ordered 
should shield us from danger." He hurled the bearings onto the floor. 
"That fool Saotome!"

	Suzuki sighed and decided that Gosunkugi had finally gone and 
lost his marbles.

Frito: Bwa-ha-hahahahaha!

Windir and Lyra look at each other, trying to keep straight faces. Lyra's 
lips start twitching first, followed by open laughter; Windir resists a 
moment longer before joining in.

Lyra: <Still chuckling> Good one. Cheap, but good.

	Ranma sat alone on the rooftop of Furinkan High, taking a 
breather from his morning "exercise." 

	"Feh. Jerks! Ganging up on me like that...," Ranma muttered to 
himself. The fight had ended much better than Ranma had expected it to, 
actually. Shortly after Kuno had returned, one of Sasuke's lines ended up 
entangling Kuno instead of Ranma, who took the opportunity to grab the 
line and hurl the pair as an improvised bolo into an incoming Principal 
Kuno, effectively pinning his arms to his sides. The principal's 
skateboard (with Principal Kuno, Tatewaki, and Sasuke on board) careened 
out of control into a set of mines, blowing the trio directly into the 
midst of the Chem Club, neatly immobilizing all parties involved. Ranma 
then leaped high into the air to dodge Miss Hinako's chi-absorbing blast, 
which continued under him and into the mass of arms and legs that 
belonged to the Chem Club, Principal Kuno, Sasuke, and Tatewaki Kuno. 
While Miss Hinako was busy draining the crowd of their chi, Ranma 
descended from his leap and landed on her (suddenly well-built) 
shoulders, giving him the perfect opportunity to hit Miss Hinako's five 
Happo-shiatsu points, effectively canceling out her draining abilities. 
Five for five.

Lyra: I can almost visualize this. Scary. <She shudders slightly>

Windir: Indeed. Which is one reason why the narration works well in this 
circumstance; unlike the previous example, it is detailed enough (and 
covers a narrow enough set of events) that one can gather a good 
impression of what happened. 

Lyra: I thought it also had a nice, almost droll tone to it, for some 
reason; perhaps it's words like 'neatly immobilized,' or the closing 
'Five for five.' Whatever, it worked.

	The door to the journalism room flew open, and in came a very 
disgruntled-looking Ranma Saotome. Noriko immediately jumped to her feet 
in alarm "May...may I help you?" she asked coldly, trying to keep the 
nervousness out of her voice. Noriko silently cursed herself for not 
realizing that a scenario like this might happen as a result of her 
article. 

Frito: Hey, she's talkin' like you again, Windy!

Windir: Ahem.

Lyra: Um, well, the wording does get a little stuffy there.

	"Noriko Hirauchi, right?" Ranma growled. 

	"Yes...that's right. And you're Ranma Saotome," Noriko countered. 
"Wh-what do you want?"

	"I wanna know what the hell *this...*" Ranma held up a copy of 
Noriko's article and punched it for emphasis. "...What *this* is all about!"

	For the first time in a long while, Noriko was genuinely scared. 
Ranma definitely sounded angry, and there was no telling what he was 
capable of doing when provoked. Images of Ranma in combat, Ranma 
ruthlessly beating off assailants, and Ranma easily destroying school 
property flashed through Noriko's mind. 

Frito: Blabbity-blabbity-blah!

Windir: <Sigh, with a beseeching look heavenward> Frito...

Lyra: Well, he's sort of right; this is another place that would benefit 
from some tightening-up and smoothing-out. 

Windir: Hmmm, yes. This does come across as rather contemplative, not to 
say verbose, for someone in this situation; for example, we the readers 
can see Ranma's anger, and it can be acknowledged in passing without the 
deliberative statement "Ranma definitely sounded angry." 

Frito: You're talkin' too mealy-mouthed!

*What if he tries to do something 
to me? There would be no one around to stop him... I hope I can remember 
my old training,* she thought desperately. *I never thought I would 
actually _hope_ I could remember my martial arts.* Noriko's hand groped 
around her desk looking for a penknife, a letter opener, *anything* that 
she could defend herself with if Ranma decided to become violent. Her 
fingers closed around a fountain pen Suzuki had given her when she first 
became editor-in-chief. It would have to do.

Lyra: Interesting symbolism.

	Ranma started to take a step forward, but his foot landed solidly 
on several of Gosunkugi's "marbles" and slipped out from under him. 
"Urk!" Ranma yelled as he pitched forward, straight towards Noriko.

	Up to this point, Noriko had been tensed, waiting for an 
aggressive move on Ranma's part. Still, Ranma's fall towards Noriko 
surprised her and it was all she could do to leap out of the way, lashing 
out with her pen in retaliation. Ranma managed to dodge the blow in 
mid-fall with some difficulty, but not without the tip of Noriko's pen 
tearing a gash into his shirt.

	Ranma landed neatly on his feet and assumed a defensive posture. 
"What the heck was that for??" he asked in bewilderment. *Was that a 
_pen_ she used to attack me with?*

Frito: Ha! Da pen is mightier den da...

Windir: Boot to the head!

Frito: OW!

Lyra: That time, you deserved it. <Grins evilly>

	Seeing Ranma apparently dive at her in attack finally pushed 
Noriko beyond the point of reason. "So dooming the paper to extinction 
and injuring my reporters wasn't enough for you, is that it?!? You're 
going to try and kill me as well! Well, just you try it!!" Noriko lunged 
forward with her pen, letting her old martial-arts training flow back 
into her body.

Lyra: Seems like she remembers a lot more than she wants to. At least 
consciously.

	Ranma easily dodged the blow, flipping to the back of the room 
and out of the range of Noriko's weapon, which lodged itself in the 
corner of a nearby desk. "I'VE doomed your paper?? What the heck do you 
mean by that??"

	"It's YOUR fault that the 'Informer's' not going to receive 
funding!! Your destruction and mayhem are why the 'Informer' is going to 
die after this year!!" Noriko yelled, yanking her pen out from the desk. 
She grabbed a handful of pencil stubs from the desktop and hurled them in 
Ranma's direction. Ranma stepped to one side, letting the projectiles 
imbed themselves into the wall behind him, and immediately dropped and 
rolled to the other side to avoid another blow from Noriko. 

Windir: The story really does regain a stronger sense of footing in this 
scene, I must admit. The author seems to move ahead with a confident 
self-possession that was lacking in some of the earlier, introspective 
scenes.

Frito: Wait a minute! Ain't ya da one who keeps sayin' ya hate fight 
scenes?

Windir: Er, well...

Lyra: And weren't you also the one who kept *pushing* for those 
introspective scenes?

Windir: That was our editor!

Lyra: Your part of his personality, yes. <Sharply> Your point?

Windir: Oh, very well! If you want me to say it that badly, I was *wrong* 
to suggest they be put in! Is that sufficient?!

Frito: Uh-uh.

Lyra: Nope. Not really.

Windir: Then what is it that you wish me to say? I merely pointed out 
that the action scene here read smoother, more confidently, than the 
soul-searching scenes. Then you reminded me that I suggested Raphael put 
those scenes in, and imply it is not enough to admit I was wrong. 
<Frustrated> Just what is it you want?

Lyra: *We* suggested, Windir. <Smiles sadly> I know, I wanted them too. 
But why do you always have to see things in black-and-white? Yes, I 
thought there should be some soul-searching scenes -- or, more 
accurately, some scenes where she realizes she's breaking journalistic 
ethics, and wrestles with the temptation to do so. And yes, I think some 
of those scenes came out stilted and overdone as they appeared in print. 
But that doesn't mean you're stuck choosing one or the other; it just 
means striking a happy medium between soul-searching and a smooth 
narrative flow, OK? <Smiles at Windir, and gives him a playful poke in 
the ribs when he doesn't respond.> OK?

Windir: <Sheepish smile> All right.

	*She wields that pen of hers like Kuno uses his bokken,* Ranma 
thought while avoiding yet another strike. *She's got potential, but not 
much else; I could probably dodge her attacks all day.* Ranma lifted his 
arm to let a pen-thrust slip under. *Still, I should probably put a stop 
to this before she hurts herself. Talking her down seems definitely out 
of the question, though, and I don't hit girls.*

Lyra: <Acidly> How good of you, Mr. Saotome. It is truly a wonder to see 
the amount of simple concern you display for her welfare. Most 
condescending.

Frito: Huh? Lyra?

Windir: An effective demonstration of his character, perhaps. However, a 
more pertinent observation -- in regard to the analysis of this story -- 
would be to point out the amount of erudition displayed in his thoughts. 
While he is no doubt highly intelligent, Ranma (as I, among others, have 
pointed out several times in the past) has little dealing with the fine 
art of considered contemplation. His intelligence operates at the 
instinctive or subconscious level most of the time, not in the conscious 
mind.

Lyra's angry look fades into a look of resigned, even amused, annoyance. 

Frito: Ya can't just say it simply, can ya, Windy? 

	Noriko watched her umpteenth attack whoosh through empty air with 
frustration. *Why won't sit still?* she thought. *I'll just have to keep 
him from moving so much, then.*

	With a sharp tap to the end of her pen, Noriko caused a small jet 
of ink to shoot directly at Ranma's eyes. Ranma tried to dodge the stream 
of blinding ink, but was caught off guard by the unusual maneuver. *Geez! 

Lyra: <Nodding judiciously> Not bad.

I should've been more careful,* Ranma chided himself. Quickly, he assumed 
a different stance, one that sacrificed power but allowed maximum 
reactivity and sensitivity to external stimuli. He detected a slight 
displacement in the air to one side and threw up his hands, catching the 
pencils before they could lodge themselves into his flesh. 

Windir clears his throat, but before he can speak, Frito pipes up.

Frito: Again?!?

Lyra: <Resignedly> Again.

Windir shakes his head, and wisely decides to remain silent.

	"Get off...you're the one on top of me!" Ranma yelled back, now 
very annoyed by the entire situation.

	Noriko blinked again. Unfortunately, Ranma was right. "Well, 
then...at least let go of me!"

	"I can't...your stupid glue...I'm stuck!" 

	Noriko sighed inwardly. *Now* what could go wrong? "Stop 
squirming; you're getting wax all over me!" she snapped.

Frito: <Leering> Oops! He he he...

Lyra: <Resignedly> And, of course, we *know* what's coming next...

	"Are you all right?" Suzuki asked as he helped Noriko to the 
ground. Fortunately, the glue that held her to the wall was a relatively 
small amount, so detaching her from the wall was a relatively easy task. 

Lyra: Um... wording's a bit awkward, here.

	"Noriko Hirauchi!! I'd like to see you in my office 
*immediately!*" thundered the voice of Watanabe-sensei. Noriko and Suzuki 
both turned to see Mr. Watanabe standing in the doorway, looking none too 
happy.

	*Swell,* thought Noriko.

Windir: <Wincing> And now, the bill comes due.

	Noriko stood in Mr. Watanabe's office, not just a little bit 
nervous. Mr. Watanabe allowed Noriko to shift her weight uncomfortably 
for a few more moments before he spoke.

	"Miss Hirauchi," Mr. Watanabe began. "I arrived my office at noon 

>from a conference only to find this on my desk." Mr. Watanabe gestured to 

a copy of the "Informer," turned to the pages containing Noriko's feature 
article. "Just what is the meaning of this?" His voice was deadly calm, 
which scared Noriko even more.

Windir: A rather traditional opening to the dressing down, but none the 
weaker for that. Watanabe-sensei's last statement is a trifle cliche, but 
still effective.

	"You printed it," Mr. Watanabe said. "This...this is not 
journalism. This is sheer tabloidary. Did you check your sources? Did you 

Lyra: Um, 'tabloidary' isn't a word; I doubt a journalism professor would 
make that mistake. Just say 'tabloid journalism.'

	"I want you to search out the *facts* about what happened that 
afternoon and print what you find. I expect this to be done within this 
week so that it can go in the next edition of the 'Informer.' A written 
retraction, of course, will have to be published."

	"But what if it turns out I'm right?" Noriko protested.

	"An apology would still be in order for your rashness. 
Correctness is not an excuse for speculation." Mr. Watanabe let his 
expression soften slightly. "Noriko," he said, less harshly. "I know the 
news of the 'Informer' has kept you preoccupied for the couple of weeks. 
Still, that doesn't mean you should throw away your last year. Remember, 
professionalism is paramount to everything else."

	"Hai, sensei."

	"You're free to go now. But I expect you to get to work on this 
immediately."

Lyra: This didn't turn out bad at all.

Windir: Yes. There was a certain amount of the awkwardness in the earlier 
introspective bits, but overall it worked rather well.

	"Hey, Chief! You've got a note from the Principal Kuno! I left it 
on your desk!" called out Suzuki as he put the nine of diamonds on top of 
the ten of clubs.

Frito: Now wait just a cotton-pickin' minute here! <Looks accusingly at 
Windir and Lyra> You've been fillin' me with all them tales about how 
busy a newsroom is -- so how come he's got time ta play solitare?

Windir: In journalism, there is a large amount of... "Hurry up and wait," 
I believe the expression is? In this case, Suzuki is the layout editor, 
and thus has very little to do until the stories start coming in, and he 
knows how much space to reserve for each story (or how much needs to be 
cut *out* of each story). Of course, once the stories do begin to 
arrive...

	"Ah, yes, my note! I'm GLAD you found it!" Principal Kuno said 
boisterously, leaning his head in close. Noriko tried her best to resist 
the temptation to squirm. 

Lyra: I can feel this, yes. <Grins wryly>

Frito: <Shuddering> No kiddin'. Dat guy is *scary*!

	"NONSENSE!" Principal Kuno interrupted. "I LOVED IT!" he shouted 
with glee. "It's about TIME that someone showed the world what a 
delinquent Ranma Saotome is!" 

	"Well, I..."

	"Yes, yes indeed! It was a work of art! Say," Principal Kuno 
whispered mock-conspiratorially. "I heard that the 'Informer' is having a 
little bit of trouble financially." He threw his head back and laughed.

Frito: Naahhh, I was wrong before -- he ain't just scary, he's a grade-A 
NUTCASE! I an't seen no one *dis* crazy since I saw "Silencer of da 
Lambs"!

Windir: I believe you are referring to "Silence of the Lambs," Frito.

Frito: Uh-uh, I mean *Silencer*. Jodi Foster as a Mob hit-guy... brrrr.

Lyra: Good characterization, anyway.

	Noriko was nonplused. "You...you mean to say that--"

	"OF COURSE!" Principal Kuno shouted, causing Noriko to jerk back 
in her seat in alarm. "I don't see how the 'Informer' could have slipped 
by the budget without getting funds. I must have been thinking about 
Hawaii again." Principal Kuno sighed as he gazed at the SURF poster 
directly over Noriko's head. "With this kind of work, I think I can 
arrange for the 'Informer' to receive enough funds to keep it afloat for 
another year. 

Windir: I find this part convincing...

Now, you do understand that you can't breathe a word to any 
of your crew or, say, Mr. Watanabe as to what's been discussed here. 
Let's keep this our little secret. I mean, it would be a real tragedy if 
something were to happen to either you or your crew." Principal Kuno's 
gaze fell on the giant pair of shears which hung next to his desk.

	Noriko gulped.

Windir: ...but this is rather like destroying flies with a large blunt 
instrument, such as a pile driver or a Sherman tank --

Frito: Aw, it ain't *dat* bad!

Lyra: It just doesn't make sense, for some reason, or at least it doesn't 
ring true. <She shakes her head, concentrating hard, as if trying to 
imagine Frito in a tuxedo.> I can't really pin it down, but it doesn't 
feel right. He's talking like he's the one worried about being 
blackmailed, when it's Noriko that's got everything to lose. I'm not sure 
that makes sense. <Shakes her head again, ruefully.> For that matter, I'm 
not sure *I'm* making sense. <Sighs> Anyway, I think it's overkill; all 
you really need to hint is that funding of the paper depends on how she 
writes.

	Noriko sat in the journalism room at her desk, feeling worse than 
ever. *Watanabe-sensei told me to go search for the truth to what 
happened that day and print a retraction, while Kuno-kouchou tells me 
that he'll grant funds to the 'Informer' because of my article.* Noriko 
looked up at the ceiling, trying to sort her thoughts. *Mr. Watanabe was 
right about the article, though; I should never have printed anything 
like that without checking the facts first. But what will happen when I 
print the retraction? Principal Kuno would never fund the paper then. My 
crew...I'd be letting them all down, letting the paper die like that.* 
Noriko turned her glance to the mess on her desk and cradled her head in 
her hands. *What if I couldn't find anything? I mean, no one would really 
be able to tell, and it _has_ been a week since the incident. If I just 
told Watanabe-sensei I couldn't find anything, he really couldn't expect 
me to print anything, could he? And everyone would still get to keep the 
'Informer.'* Noriko shook her head at that thought. *No, I've done enough 
unprofessional things these past couple of weeks. I'll just search the 
way I'm supposed to. I mean, I'm probably right about Ranma after all, 
and then the 'Informer' would still receive funding, and everyone would 
be happy, and...* Noriko let her thoughts wash over her in a jumble.

Lyra: Not a bad idea... but if it's supposed to be a jumble, I'd write it 
a bit more like a jumble. More sentence fragments and thought fragments, 
keep them shorter and simpler -- make it feel like she's tumbling from 
thought to thought, instead of lining them up neatly in her head.

Frito: Yeah, ain't no way I'd be thinkin' that clearly when I was feelin' 
like dat!

Windir: Frito, it would be doubtful that you would think that clearly 
when you were *not* feeling like that. Or, indeed, at any other point in 
your existance.

	A mug of steaming cocoa was placed in front of Noriko. She looked 
up and saw her layout editor standing in front of her desk. "S-Suzuki! 
You're still here?"

Windir: The slight stutter here is much better; it gives one a better 
impression of her inner turmoil.

	"I saw you in here as I was getting ready to leave. You look like 
you need this more than I do," he said almost sheepishly, pushing the mug 
towards Noriko. 

	Noriko took the mug in her hands and took a small sip, savoring 
the flavor. It was a double-batch, with four small marshmallows and a 
dash of cinnamon...just the way she liked it. "Mmmmm...thanks. I needed 
that," she said gratefully, eagerly taking another sip.

Lyra: Nice hint, here, of Suzuki's feelings -- claiming that he was 
giving her something he'd made for himself, and then pointing out that it 
was 'just the way she liked it.' I wonder when she's going to realize 
what he did? <Smiles mysteriously>

	"Anyway, Gosunkugi forgot that he had this roll of film developed 
last week, and wants you to have it. The pictures are a week old, but 
maybe you'll find something you can print in the last issue or something.

Frito: He FORGOT? The roll of film that got him beaten up like dat, and 
he FORGOT?! No way!

Windir: It is... rather unlikely. Quite possibly, the author is trying to 
tell us something, but in that case I would expect Suzuki's attitude to 
be more... indicative.

	Next photo. Ryoga had jabbed his finger into the concrete. 
*Around his finger...there. A point blast?* The next few photos were 
taken in rapid succession, judging from the time printed on the photos. 
The blast around Ryoga's finger was getting bigger and bigger, throwing 
shrapnel and broken pieces of concrete all around. Ryoga and Ranma were 
airborne in the next photos, and the last photo was completely obscured 
by broken concrete, dust, and shrapnel.

	*Wait, if this was the viewpoint of the camera, and Suzuki and 
Gosunkugi were behind the camera the whole time...* The photos slipped 

>from Noriko's fingers as the pieces clicked into place. *Oh, no! Ranma 

was telling the truth the whole time! The paper! My crew! What have I 
done!? What have I DONE!?* Noriko lay her head on the desk and sobbed 
bitterly, all alone in the empty journalism room.

Windir: And here, indeed, is the evidence required to prove to her 
satisfaction that she was mistaken about the incident with Ranma. And, 
once one gets past the 'manufactured' aspect of their introduction, their 
presentation is reasonably straightforward and succeeds in its purpose. 
However, Noriko's reaction comes off rather melodramatically; I would 
consider toning it down slightly.

Lyra: Not a bad place to end this chapter, though.

As I stated in the beginning, response to my last posting was tepid at 
best. Do you guys want to see this story finished? Your responses are the 
main thing that fuels meto crank out the next part. The less response I 
get, the longer it takes me to write a part. So, *please, please please 
PLEASE* send me comments, criticism, flames, etc. about this part. 
Whether you liked it, hated it, or never want me to write another piece 
of fanfiction ever again, send me some kind of response.

Frito: Hey, how's dis?

Windir and Lyra: <Sternly> Frito!

Lyra: It's not nice to bait promising authors.

Windir: Indeed.

Lyra: Seriously, don't let this get you down. We did like it; otherwise, 
we wouldn't spend this much time on it. 

Okay, next: Noriko's moves. I think they're a bit outlandish for the type 
of story this is, and for the type of person Noriko is. Still, I couldn't 
resist the temptation of having my main character know journalism-style 
martial arts. Any comments?

Windir: While her, ah, denial and how it was overcome seemed a bit 
strained... I... <embarrassed cough> thought the results were worth it.

Lyra: It was quite entertaining, wasn't it? <She looks across Windir to 
wink at Frito.> In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing more of it, huh? <Frito 
grins back at her, and gives a covert thumbs-up; of course, Windir is 
staring at the ceiling, looking uncomfortable, and probably wouldn't have 
noticed it anyway.>

Windir: Perhaps... <He looks back down, past his colleagues, not meeting 
their eyes> It might not even be necessary for the author to invent a 
martial arts background; given the high incidence of martial arts at the 
school, it is quite feasible to postulate a Jungian martial arts 
unconsciousness; a pool of experience, as it were, that any receptive 
student can tap into. After all, it is surely no more ludicrous than some 
of the other martial-arts inventions in the series.

Lyra cocks an eyebrow at Frito, who rubs his chin and nods. 

Frito: Yeah! Da Force will be with ya, always!

Windir groans, and even Lyra shakes her head.

Also, Noriko's dilemma isn't coming out quite the way I want it to. It 
seems a bit forced right now, but it's important that she have a real 
dilemma to deal with. Any ideas (Zen, Travis, Mike...anyone?)?

Windir: The dilemma as it stands is reasonable; Principal Kuno found a 
reason to fund the paper when it printed a story hostile to Ranma, and 
any retraction or alteration in that stance would undoubtedly result in 
another loss in funding. The rather baroque embellishments tacked on to 
that dilemma, such as the admonition not to discuss this with anyone 
else, are unnecessary and could possibly be the cause of the 'forced' 
feeling you mention; a simple "As long as you're producing work of this 
caliber, I don't see why we can't find some money for you" should suffice.

And some people have wrote me commenting that I shouldn't use so many 
add-in characters as it detracts from the Ranmaverse. Well, I wish I 
could have done this without having to create a single character (well, 
except Noriko; I'm starting to take a liking to my main character :P), 
but the more I thought, the more I needed more add-ins to flesh out the 
story. I tried to put "real" Ranma characters where I could, but there 
came a certain point where it stretched credibility to put an 
already-established character in there (I'm particularly pleased at 
Gosunkugi-the-photographer). Any ideas on reducing add-ins?

Lyra: You don't need to. Really, I think it works just fine the way it 
is. And I agree; the choice of Gosenkugi as a photographer was delicious. 
Though I know a few photojournalists who might disagree with me... <Grins 
evilly>

Chapter Five: A Distant Blue Thunder

	Ranma arrived at school the next morning considerably earlier 
than normal. Normally he was loath to do so, preferring to spend as 
little time at Furinkan as possible, but Ranma decided that spending an 
extra twenty minutes in the morning at school was preferable to tangling 
with the ever-growing gauntlet of Ranma-haters that had been spawned by 
the recent article in the "Informer." Last afternoon had been 
particularly bothersome, with the entire Kendo Club chasing him around 
the school grounds with those ridiculous bokkens of theirs. 

Lyra: Again, this might work better if it were shown rather than 
summarized. Or, at least simplify/tone it down a bit; you don't want 
Ranma sounding too much like our friend here <jabs Windir lightly in the 
ribs with an elbow>, even in summary. 

	*Jerks, jerks, jerks!* Ranma thought vehemently, opening his 
locker. *Why do those losers believe everything they read? One Kuno is 
bad enough, but being chased by about fifteen Kuno-wannabe's... Still, it 
_was_ pretty funny when it started raining.* After the storm had hit, 
Kuno immediately jumped to his "osage-no-onna's" defense, easily beating 
off the confused kendoists who still insisted on trying to hit Ranma with 
their bokkens, after which Ranma thanked him by kicking him into the next 
district. *That curse of mine does comes in handy sometimes; still, I 
wouldn't have half the troubles I have now if I didn't have it in the 
first place.*

Windir: His thoughts are still a little too erudite, but this paragraph 
does much better.

Frito: Hey, can'tcha just see dis!

Windir: Heh.

	"Get in the way? What, you think I don't know how to fight?"

	"Hey, I was just trying to look out for you! It's not my fault 
that you can't even kick, you're built like a brick, your thighs are too..."

	The blow came swift and sure, sending Ranma crumpled to the 
ground within the space of a second. "...thick...," Ranma feebly croaked 
before darkness enveloped him. *Sexless tomboy...*

Lyra: Um... this was a little overdone, here. I think someone else 
brought this up, and I'd agree with him. Too stale.

	"HEY!" Noriko nearly jumped out of her seat in fright. Calming 
down slightly, she looked up to see Suzuki standing at her desk, looking 
slightly impatient. "I've been trying to get your attention for the last 
ten minutes!" 

	"Oh! Sorry! I guess I was a little distracted..."

Lyra: Uh-huh. Right. <Smiles> Not bad at all, if a little long in spots.

	"Yeah, I guess so. You were pretty spaced out there for a moment. 
Do you know that you just stapled your sleeve to your desk?" 

Frito: Oops! <Cackles nastily>

	"Thanks. You know, Suzuki, you're a real pal." Noriko pulled 
another staple out with some effort. "What would I do without you?"

	"Well, I..." Suzuki looked up briefly from the staple he was 
tugging at and suddenly realized that his face was very close to hers. He 
caught a faint scent of lilacs as Noriko redoubled her efforts on the 
offending office supply. Suzuki gulped nervously, trying not to blush as 
he continued to stare at her, trying to think of something intelligent to 
say. "I...I..."

Frito: Ai-yi-yi-yi-YI! Get outa there, buddy, *now*, before she sinks her 
claws inta ya!

Lyra: Oh, I don't know... it wouldn't be Ranma without some romance, ne? 
<Gives him a Mona Lisa-ish smile>

	"Hmm?" Noriko turned and found herself face to face with her 
layout editor. The staple dropped forgotten from Noriko's fingers. 
"S-Suzuki?" she asked with some apprehension. *What're you doing?* What 
seemed like an eternity passed, with Noriko and Suzuki looked directly 
into the other's eyes.

Lyra: This, on the other hand, is telegraphed a bit too strongly. I'd 
make it just a little more subtle.

	Noriko quickly walked down the main sidewalk of Furinkan, trying 
to clear her head. *I haven't been getting enough sleep recently; yeah, 
that's got to be it,* she thought, trying to explain away her irrational 
behavior and the strange feelings coursing through her. Suddenly, she 
stopped. Standing in front of her path was a student in blue robes 
carrying a bokken, effectively barring her path.

Frito: <Looking unaccustomedly serious> Uh-oh.

	*No self-esteem problem here.* "Well...I certainly meant no 
offense against you or Akane in particular. I'm sorry if the article came 
out that way," Noriko said as politely as she could, hoping to dispel 
whatever ire Kuno may have harbored against her. *Boy, am I ever sorry,* 
she added to herself.

Frito: <Still soberly> You ain't kiddin'. 

Lyra: Uh-huh. You're in for it now, I'm afraid.

	"For years I have tried to win the pig-tailed girl's heart, 
knowing if I could only break the hold Saotome has on her she would be 
free to properly choose me!" Kuno clutched his chest in anguish. "Many 
things have been said about her in the past, but I have been there to 
defend her honor every time. And now...this mockery of journalism comes 
to besmirch her honor! She may be held captive by Ranma Saotome, but she 
is no criminal! You will answer for your misdeeds!" Kuno flung the paper 
to the ground angrily. 

Windir: I fear this angle is put forward a little too strongly, here. 
Even granted Kuno's usual flowering of excess, he is going rather... 
'over the top,' I believe?

	Kuno just stood there for a long time, trembling from Noriko's 
revelation. His mouth moved slightly, trying to form words. Noriko 
briefly considered turning around and taking a different path to 
Ucchan's. "G.....g......g......LIES!!!!" Kuno finally screamed, swinging 
his bokken in a wide arc, neatly cleaving a nearby tree in two. Noriko 
gave a small shriek at the unexpected outburst and reflexively dropped 
into a defensive stance, hopping clear of the swath Kuno's bokken carved 
in the air. Kuno was beyond fury. "So, you are capable of defending 
yourself," Kuno observed coldly, seeing the speed with which Noriko had 
reacted to his outburst. "Very well, a duel for honor it will be! You 
will fight for your own, and I will fight for both mine...and the 
pig-tailed girl." Kuno said evenly with a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

Frito: Hoo, boy.

Lyra: Told you. <Sigh> Nice hint again, that she isn't completely alien 
to the martial arts.

	*He's quick; very quick. It's been too long since I've trained; 
I'm all rusty!* As a child, Noriko had already showed interest in 
journalism, carring a notepad and pencil around and writing down 
everything interesting that happened around her. Her father noticed that 
her reports were beginning to consist more and more of "I got chased by 
the kids at school again," and decided to enroll her in martial arts, 
with the hopes that it would increase her self-esteem and 
self-confidence. Being an obedient child, she took part in the lessons 
and showed a real talent, easily outpacing other students at her level. 
However, as Noriko grew older, she began to focus more and more on her 
love for journalism, forgoing martial arts practice whenever the two 
activities conflicted. Finally, after witnessing a brutal fight in her 
old middle school, Noriko denounced martial arts altogether, calling it a 
violent and barbaric activity. 

Windir: Hmmm. <Purses his lips deliberately> Not nearly as bad as I'd 
feared, though it pushes the point for just a little too long, again..

Lyra: Not as bad as I'd feared, hmfph. It reminds me of what our editor 
did in junior high school... getting into track/cross-country because his 
parents thought he needed something to balance out the egghead reputation 
he was getting...

[Editor's note: HEY! How's you find out about that!?!]

Lyra: Remember my former job? <Grins> A lady's got to keep in practice, 
you know.

	"Well, Ranchan," Ukyou slid over to where Ranma was sitting and 
brought her head very close to his. "I guess I could try and make time go 
by quicker for you." She batted her eyes cutely. 

	Ranma gulped.



	The blow hurt like all get out. Noriko clutched her side, 
desperately blinking back the tears of pain that threatened to cloud her 
vision. 

Windir: This interweaving of Ranma's wait and Noriko's fight works rather 
well, I think.

*Jerk! Hitting a girl! Ranma never swung once at me!* 

Lyra: <Tapping her finger and leaning forward> Hmmm. Interesting point. 
Is this ever established in the manga, that Kuno would attack a girl? 
It's the one flaw in this fight, since I might've thought his sense of 
honor would prevent him from attacking a girl.

	Noriko leaped back to give herself more space. *No, can't do 
that...he's more dangerous at far range. Got to get inside his strike 
zone!* She flung herself into the center of the storm of bokken thrusts, 
blocking each as best as she could. *The attacker is most vulnerable when 
executing his attack...if I can only get through...* A blow slipped 
through Noriko's defenses, but the strike lacked its full force at such 
close range. Another one got through, this time hitting near Noriko's 
wound. She bit her lip and pressed on, not bothering to resist the tears 
of pain that rolled down her cheeks. More and more blows buffeted Noriko, 
but they had considerably less power than Kuno's individual strikes. 

Frito: I dunno. Sounds kinda fishy to me. 

	*Eh? What is this? I must withdraw!* Kuno thought, befuddled by 

Frito: Yah, *definitely* fishy! He didn't even do dat when Ranma got in 
his face dat first time!

	"Jerk! Jerk!! Jerk!!!" Noriko shouted, thrusting forward with her 
pen past Kuno's bokken and scoring a solid blow to his body. Kuno gasped 

>from the blow, the wind knocked out of him. He stumbled back, allowing 

Noriko to hook her foot behind his ankle, causing him to fall. Noriko 
struck once more with her pen as he fell on his behind, and kicked him 
once in the head for good measure. Kuno lay on the sidewalk, obviously 
out of action. "That's for calling me a mockery of journalism," Noriko 
gasped, out of breath and in tremendous pain. *I guess the pen really 
_is_ mightier than the sword...oh no! My appointment with Ranma!* Noriko 
thought. She began to limp slowly towards Ucchan's. *I hope he's still 
there...*

Windir: I suppose this was the only feasible way of engendering her 
victory, but it still seems implausible. Although Kuno is defeated by the 
regular cast on a regular basis... one must remember that to the rest of 
the school, he is a formidable force; not one person challenged him when 
he set his conditions for dating Akane. To have her defeat him in a 
straight martial arts battle seems odd. I would recommend either an 
attack more strongly based on intelligence -- pitting her strength 
against his weakness -- or <sigh> a deus ex machina, something that 
distracted him and left her an opening.

	Noriko never heard Kuno utter the words that sent chills of 
terror down the spines of female students everywhere in Furinkan. "Noriko 
Hirauchi..." he croaked, trying to move. "....I 
would.......date.......with you...."

Lyra: ACK! <Shudder>

	Noriko lay on a futon in Ukyou's apartment just behind the 
restaurant. The okonomiyaki-chef had tended to Noriko's major injuries, 
and was working on cleaning her up a bit with a damp cloth. *It looks as 
if she went through some kind of fight or something. I'm no doctor, but 
I've been in enough fights to recognize the marks of wood on flesh.* 

Frito: No kiddin'.

	"Yeah, you might want to see somebody about that blow you got. 
You might have bruised clear to the bone. What happened to you before you 
got here, anyway?" 

	"Kuno had a quarrel he harbored against me," Noriko said wearily. 

Frito: <Suspiciously> You been talkin' at her again, Windy?

Lyra: She does lapse into ultra-formal language at times, doesn't she? 
Seriously, it's something I would go through and look for; unless it's 
someone like Kuno, it really does distract from the story.

	Ukyou laughed softly, remembering how many times Kuno had stuck 
his foot in his mouth (or Ranma had stuck *his* foot in *Kuno's* mouth) 
regarding his obsession with Ranma's female side ,but quickly grew 
serious at the memory of Noriko passing out at her doorstep. "So, he beat 
you up? Not very honorable of him. What a jerk!" Ukyou's hand gripped her 
battle spatula at the thought.

Lyra: Well, at least *someone* acknowledged this.

	"You beat Kuno? Even though he's a real jackass, he's actually 
pretty good. And to think I thought I knew all the martial artists at 
Furinkan, too." Ukyou said, visibly impressed.

Lyra: And another acknowledgement. The author does seem to be cleaning up 
after himself, at least.

	"Ah...I'm not really a martial artist. At least, not for the past 
couple of years." Noriko took a sip of water. "I gave up fighting a few 
years ago when I decided I wanted to be a journalist full-time. But it 
seems like recently with that feature I printed, fighting has been all 
I've been doing for the past couple of weeks," she said mournfully.

Lyra: And...

Frito: Yeah, yeah, <screws his face up in imitation> 'Another 
acknowledgement.' Sheesh.

Lyra: Well, these short conversational segments do a good job of 
explaining Noriko's actions! In fact, they do a better job of explaining 
them than some of her earlier soul-searching.

	Noriko sighed deeply. She hadn't told anyone else the reason for 
her grudge against Ranma, and she was wondering why she was about to 
divulge it to some stranger she had just barely met. Noriko briefly 
studied Ukyou's face, all curiosity and not hostility, and decided that 
her secret would be safe with her. *At least she's not with the 
'Informer,' so she can't really tell anyone else.*

Frito: INCOMING! <Ducks underneath one of the seats>

Lyra: Hush! <Slaps Frito and drags him out... then surreptitiously wipes 
her hand on the seatback.> At least the author's *trying*, which is more 
than what you do sometimes.

Windir: <Lets out a long-suffering sigh> Most of the time, to be precise.

	Noriko took a deep breath, wondering where to begin. "Journalism 
has been my love since I was a kid. When I started going to Furinkan a 
year ago, I saw the 'Informer,' and how bad it was, and I just had to do 
something to change it. I worked my tail off, writing what stories I 
could and voicing my suggestions to anyone who would listen. Most people 
brushed me off as the 'new kid,' a freshman no less. But little by little 
more people started to listen to me, and the 'Informer' took a turn for 
the better. By the end of the year, we were commended as one of the 
outstanding school papers in the district!" Noriko paused for a moment, 
relishing the happy memory. "I was made editor-in-chief, even though I 
was so young, since I was the one most responsible for the paper's 
improvement. The paper became my own pet project, almost like having a 
child or something. It was what I was...what I am."

Lyra: Um... I really don't want to keep harping on the subject, but this 
speech really does need to be broken up. You might try some reactions 
from Ukyou, more interruptions from the customers, or something similar. 
Right now, it reads like a lecture, and that's not what most people want 
in a story.

	Ukyou dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about 
it. I'm just glad I could be of help. And," Ukyou continued, waving to 
another customer briefly, "if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm right 
here. You might have done some nasty things to Ranchan before, but...I 
think you're for real." Ukyou got up from her seat. "Feel up to walking?"

Lyra: I'm not sure if this is actually in character for Ukyou, but it 
feels right; I'd leave it.

	"Yeah, I think so." Noriko got up, feeling much better after the 
rest and meal. She slipped a few bills under her plate as Ukyou turned 
away to tend to her patrons. *From what you call a "dinner crowd," I 
don't think you can afford to give away too many free okonomiyaki,* 
Noriko thought, smiling to herself.

Windir: As does this.

Frito: Wha?

Windir: This meshes well with Noriko's character... or at least with how 
I would prefer her character to be.

	The meeting itself passed swiftly enough, with assignments being 
doled out to various reporters, until the announcements portion of the 
agenda arrived. Mr. Watanabe stood up in front of the room. "If you may 
recall, I made an announcement earlier this month that the 'Informer's' 
financial standings were in jeopardy and could possibly be eliminated 
after this year." He paused for dramatic effect. "I have some rather good 
news for you. I was contacted by Principal Kuno this afternoon, and it 
seems that the 'Informer' will most likely receive its funding after 
all." Watanabe-sensei allowed the cheering and hubbub to subside before 
continuing. "Principal Kuno gave no indication of what had caused him to 
change his mind, for as you well know, the principal had been quite 
adverse to the paper's funding in the past. However, I think that the 
conventional wisdom of 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' can be 
applied. 

Frito: Huh. He really don't suspect?

Windir: It is rather odd. Watanabe has been portrayed as an intelligent 
man; moreover, he is a journalist in at least an honorary sense, and 
should be alert to the potential implications of Principal Kuno's shift 
in position.

	Puzzled murmurs went around the room. "A few weeks ago, I...did 
something directly against everything I and the 'Informer' stand for. I 
acted rashly, not paying any attention to professionalism or anything. I 
tried to make things right, but all my efforts have ended in disaster. I 
really tried; I.." Noriko fought the emotions churning within her stomach 
as she tried her best to continue. "I wish I could tell you all that's 
happened, everything about why I have to do what I am about to do. But I 
can't. I...this paper is so important to me, and so are you. That's why I 
have no choice but to make my final decision."

	Noriko took a deep breath. "I, Noriko Hirauchi..." Noriko's voice 
broke, but she managed to catch herself before she lost control. "I, 
Noriko Hirauchi am hereby resigning from my position of editor-in-chief 
and rescind all affiliation I have with the 'Furinkan Informer.'"

Windir: In contrast to some of the other speeches in the story, this one 
is effective and to the point. She states her feelings, her anguish and 
determination are clearly shown, and it does not become mired in 
innumerable details. My compliments.

shocked face and smiled shyly. "Please...don't tell anyone else outside 
of this room what I've done. Keep this inside of this room. No 
announcements; just change the masthead without any noise. Again, I wish 
I could tell you more, but you'll just have to trust me. The future of 
the 'Informer' could depend on how well you keep this secret."

Lyra: Hmmm. Does she really think this will be enough to keep Principal 
Kuno from cutting the funds again, if the paper doesn't continue to write 
bad stories about Ranma?

	Noriko walked slowly down the hall, her head lowered in shame and 
sorrow. *It was the only thing I could do; the "Informer" will still get 
funding; at least for another year or so, and Suzuki will get the 
editor-in-chief like he deserves, and... it was just the only thing I 
could do! The only thing I could do...*

Windir: An honest decision, if a painful one. I am... surprised, however, 
that she would consider this 'enough', without actually printing a 
retraction. This might make an interesting point in the next chapter, if 
it does *not* prove enough to make it up to Ranma.

	Noriko felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw Suzuki 
standing there, his face a mixture of sympathy and confusion. "Chief...do 
you want to talk about it? I mean, this is all pretty sudden and all..."

	Noriko looked up into Suzuki's face, her eyes wet. "Please, 
Suzuki... I'm not 'Chief' anymore. I'm just plain old Noriko now." She 
quickly turned and broke free of his touch, and then just as swiftly left 
out the door of Furinkan High School.

	Toren Suzuki stood there alone in the hallway, his mouth agape in 
shock.


End part five

Lyra: Good ending. And the Suzuki/Noriko tone worked much better then the 
awkward face-to-face scene earlier.

Frito: Hey, I thought ya wanted da romance!

Lyra: <Gives Frito a wide-eyed innocent look> Why, what makes you think I 
didn't? <Ironic smile> I just think it should be done with a shade more 
class. Not something you'd think about, I'd guess. <Her smile becomes a 
little more cutting.>

   Looong fight scene! I am not a particularly big fan of lengthy fight 
scenes in fanfiction, thinking them rather tiresome after a while. Still, 
the scene with Noriko and Kuno ended up being quite a large section. What 
do you think? Riveting? A yawner? More detail, less?

Windir: I would retain the same level of detail -- I doubt you could 
achieve the effect you wish without it -- but I would, as we noted above, 
find a somewhat more realistic way for her to beat him. Someone with 
Noriko's stated lack of experience should *not* be able to charge head-on 
into his attack and emerge successfully, I would believe.

   The scene with Ukyou and Noriko also seems a bit forced and 
unnatural. I haven't read much of Ukyou (besides fanfics, and it seems 

>from the spam that has propogated this ML that those portrayals might not 

be the most accurate) in the manga, and have seen even less of her in the 
anime. Am I OOC? IC? No character?

Frito: Her speech dragged on too long!

Windir: <Sigh> Yes, Frito, we have already noted that problem above. Do 
you, by chance, have anything *useful* to suggest?

Lyra: Well, like I said before, I thought it worked well -- even if there 
is the chance that it's OOC. At that point, Noriko needed a sympathetic 
ear, someone *outside* the paper. Ukyou is probably the best choice of a 
sympathetic ear out of the regular Ranma cast... and I don't think 
there's *any* doubt that she'd be the most sympathetic one of the harem.

   Finally, I think I'm starting to hit a major wall here with this 
story. It's getting harder and harder to continue it as time goes on. I 
have some vague ideas on how to finish it (which I hope to do in the next 
chapter), but nothing terribly concrete. Any ideas (send ideas to me via 
private e-mail, please)?

Windir: I would again bring to your attention the point I raised above, 
that it is quite possible that her resignation will *not* be enough to 
solve the problem. Her resignation will not likely be enough to save the 
paper if it fails to print additional stories implicating Ranma; 
moreover, it does even less to repair Ranma's reputation. This could 
prove fertile ground for the rest of the story.

Lyra: It felt like she pulled a Franklin, to me. And "Shadow Dancing" 
showed just how flawed *his* decision was. A similar experience for her 
might do the trick.

Frito: Oh, yeah? If ya leaves her gut-stabbed in some alley, I'm gonna 
come after ya! Junk Food SPECIAL ATTACK!

   All right; thanks for bearing with my writing so long. Thanks for 
reading, and *please* send comments, even if they're just composed of 
"Scoop sucks and so do you." Bye for now!

Windir: It most certainly does not 'suck', as you say. Do not let the 
amount of analysis we subjected you to discourage you; as my colleague 
suggested above, we would not have undertaken this task without a certain 
liking for the story as it already existed. 

Lyra: Keep it going; I'm looking forward to the next part.


----------------------------------------

With a sigh, the Professor pushed back his chair, and stretched to get 
the cricks out of his arms. "Whew," he said, in a tone of great relief. 
"That was one of the hardest ones I've written yet. I'm glad I was able 
to finish it and do a good job."

"And are you, in fact, so certain that you finished it well?" the tall 
elf said, tugging on his smoking jacket as he entered the room.

"Not really," the Professor answered with a rueful grin. "As long as it 
took to write, and as many sessions as it took, I'm afraid it's gonna 
come out really disjointed. Not that I can really go back and try to 
smooth the whole thing out, at this point; don't think I could hold the 
whole thing in my head at once. I hope Raphael doesn't mind."

"So, you finally got it done?" asked the mysterious trenchcoated figure, 
as he walked in through the patio door and hitched a leg up on the 
kitchen table. "I was wondering if you were ever going to make it 
through."

"Yup." The Professor looked up, as a thought struck him. "You know, this 
finishes my revengefic punishment, right?"

"Well, I suppose... going to have to look at it first, and make sure it's 
enough --"

"Don't give me that! You said once I was able to finish this, once I got 
this 'trouble-writing' monkey off my back, that I was through! You gonna 
go back on your word?"

The trenchcoated figure sighed, and shook his head. "All right, all 
right!" He reached out and shook hands with the Professor. "Done and 
done, OK?"

"All right," the Professor said, shaking back. Then an evil grin lit his 
face. "You know what this means, don't you?"

"Um... no," the figure said, looking back with a hint of suspicion.

"With this over, you're no longer a revenging character. That ends your 
immunity... right?" The Professor chuckled. It was not a pleasant sound.

"Now wait a minute!"

"I hear Nabs is just a little... annoyed, shall we say? about what you 
did with her in Nameless 4 and 5..."



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.