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Story 8.7 A good shortfic dealing with the feelings of Kasumi and P-Chan. 

Characterizations 8.6 The characters are well represented. I like the way you 
handled this.  I'm not sure Kasumi would suddenly confide in P-Chan, but it 
could happen.

Grammar 8.9  I love that paragraph spacing.  I saw no noticeable spelling 
errors as well. You gain an additional two tenths of a point (everyone AHH 
now) for this spacing.

Descriptions 8.6 This is mostly speech, so descriptions aren't that important, 
but you handled it well.

Fun Factor 8.7  I enjoyed this little piece.  Nice work.

Overall: 8.7