Please forgive us for the SPAM we must broadcast oh Lord.
___________________________________________________________________________
Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene
I met a Lady in the Meads,
Full beautiful, a faery's child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light
And her eyes were wild.
J.Keats
________________________________________________________________________
Agent Of Chaos. Robyn, Duke of Amber. Unicorn Knight
****************************************************************************
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 4 Dec 1996 00:49:54 -0500 ()
From: "Andrew J. Dick" <andrewd@cs.yorku.ca>
To: "Jackson G. Lynch" <mtgreen@yorku.ca>,
Alexander Vaynshteyn <alexv@red.ariel.cs.yorku.ca>,
Rusty Jones <yu120475@yorku.ca>,
Overlord of Doom <loviatar@interlog.com>,
OS Overlord <brecht@cs.yorku.ca>, Brad Mitts <bmitts@reach.net>,
Lance Crossfire <eclipse@ionsys.com>, Kells <kanderso@ccs.carleton.ca>,
Angela Demke <demke@eecg.toronto.edu>
Subject: [Humor] Evil Overlord List (fwd)
Andrew J. Dick irc.yorku.ca Wildmage@IRC
IRC Administration York University yu107554@yorku.ca
Toronto, Ontario, Canada andrewd@cs.yorku.ca
irc@ariel.cs.yorku.ca cs911007@ariel.cs.yorku.ca
---------- Forwarded message ----------
[source unknown]
If I ever become an Evil Overlord,
1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors,
not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept
anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is _not_ too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the
Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of
Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicatment before killing them.
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks,
"Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply
will be, "No, just sensible."
8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill
me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No."
and shoot him.
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in
a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time
during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary.
If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger:
Do Not Push".
11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined
to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.
12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum --
a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need
to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my
weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident --
I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.
15. I will make it clear that I _do_ know the meaning of the word "mercy";
I simply choose not show them any.
16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any
flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
implementation.
17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of
the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying
celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members
of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or
adhere to any other dress codes.
19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any
other form of last request.
20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find
that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to active
when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan
into operation.
21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad
scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently
twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage
he's caused.
22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's
just one thing I want to know."
23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to
their advice.