On Mon, 2 Dec 1996 21:09:55 -0800 (PST) Mike W. Loader wrote:
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: | `--. / /_ .--` '-. =======
: `---. |/ ) | .-. ._ \ .---.
: .---' / /-. `-. `-' | `' (_.-. | The Nameless Sequel
: `----'`-' `---'`---' .'.'
: .'.'_
: (_____)
: EPISODE 6 - Duck and Cover.
: Ranma: Never mind. (yelling) Mousse! Hey, Mousse! Over here!
:
: (The duck ignores him, and goes on to take off the upper half of
: one of the chefs' hat.)
The Mousse<->Moose jokes were almost painful. :) Very good,
though. BTW, I suspected from the beginning that not everything
was as it seemed.
: (The duck flaps into a spin, and a barrage of razor-sharp blades
: and shuriken fly towards Ranma. Startled, he dodges most of
: them...but a knife opens a slash on his forehead.)
For example, Mousse would not normally have been able to do this -
so *logically* this must be a duck. :)
Unless of course, you are using psychological tactics and *want*
us all to think that Ranma is on the wrong track...
: Ranma: Never mind! I'll take care of it later. Hand me the duct
: tape, I'll secure his wings and legs.
:
: Saburo: Ah, you mean duck tape. Here you go.
Arrgh. You should really see someone about this pun habit of
yours. <whince>
: Kuno: On the roof? Why is my love up there? Surely she is not
: forced to mend it!
:
: Akane: Oh no, nothing like that. She's just flashing bursts of light
: at the sky in a series of timed pulses.
:
: Kuno: (very puzzled) Whyfor does she do this?
:
: Akane and Nabiki: (mechanically) It is a very normal thing to do
: that we should take no notice of. Nor should we ask her about it.
: We will go about our business.
Waaaahahahahahahahahaaaaahahahahahaha!
ROTFLOLWTS! Oh god oh god oh god... It'll take some time to
recover from this one. :D :D :D
: Akane: (sympathetic) Poor Nabiki. This marriage hasn't been easy
: on you either, has it?
:
: Nabiki: You have no idea...
Uh, damn! I seem to have mislaid some of my saved copies of this
series. Remind me again, does Nabiki know about Ranma and Akane's
suspicion of love potions being involved in these marriages?
Probably not, since otherwise she would figure it out herself.
Can't have *that*, can we? :)
: Kuno:'s Voice: Indeed I am. I am holding your lovely sister's
: plasma tracking device in place.
:
: Akane: (joking tone) Now now, not til after the wedding!
Heheh. And in public on a rooftop, to boot.
: Ukyo: Ranchan! Saburo! I didn't know you two knew each other.
:
: Saburo: Yeah, we're partners in Animal Control. I drive, he
: wrestles psychopathic dire wolves to the ground. Real fair
: distribution of labor.
:
: Ranma: (frowning) Now, that ain't entirely true...Saburo here has
: handled some of the tougher cases. Like the one on Sakeda Street
: this morning.
:
: Saburo: Ranma, that was a housecat.
Heheheh. <chuckle> Wait till you get to *the* case. I'm
thinking of a certain animal that has adopted the docs as its
domain... :)
: Ranma: (finishing) That was great. Thanks, Ucchan. (snaps his
: fingers) Say, I've got an idea. Saburo, why don't you take Ukyo out
: to eat this Wednesday?
:
: Saburo: (blinking) I was planning...
:
: Ranma: (elbowing him) Whatever your plans were, you can put
: them aside, neh?
:
: Saburo: (puzzled) I'm going to take Ukyo out on Wednesday.
Why's he puzzled? He seemed to have figured out Ranma's
misunderstanding, before they entered Ucchan's.
: Akane: He really has it bad for Kasumi. When I left they were..
: ..um....funny, I don't remember what they were doing. It was
: something completely ordinary and unremarkable. Not at all the
: kind of thing I should notify the government or media about.
:D :D :D :D :D :D
Oh man, you're doing it again!
: Nabiki: (to phone) ...Yes, I think 5,000,000 yen is an acceptable
: sum. Who will you cast in the starring role? Oh? Okay...and you
: _will_ change the names, neh? Good. Yes, I'll notify you if there
: turns out to be a (shivers) sex scene.
Ooooh. Aw, if it ever happens, it's going to be off-screen, I
bet.
: Saburo: (scribbling rapidly on a sheet of paper) Lessee, "I, Natami
: Saburo, being of sound mind and body, declare this my official
: will and testament..."
Heh. You'd think he would have one prepared, considering their
job - and their car.
: Ranma: (thoughtful) Well, that would explain why he fights me all
: the time...but I think it's far more likely that it's due to some
: hidden flaw in the technique, which I will go on to exploit and win
: once again.
:
: Saburo: Yeah?
:
: Ranma: Yup. That's how it always works. You'd think Ryoga would
: have learned by now...
Heh. I'm more surprised that Ranma *has* learned this. :)
: Man: (triumphantly) You see? Open your eyes! The truth is out
: there!
Worse: it's *in here* - with us. Aiiiigh!
: Man: Come! We must get permission from the local government to
: shoot things!
:
: Woman: (brightening) Okay!
Oh man. They sound like Sam and Max - except that I don't think
those ever bothered with getting permission.
: Akane: (suspiciously) All's fair in love and war.
:
: Shampoo: Lovers come and go, but friendship is forever.
:
: Akane: Love conquers all.
:
: Shampoo: Loose lips sink ships by the horns of a sow's ear, but
: you can't make a silk purse out of the hair of the dog that bit you.
:
: Akane: (blinking) Can't argue with that, I suppose.
:D :D :D :D :D
This was particularly hilarious to me, since my own father has the
habit of unconsciously mangling proverbs and mixing metaphors.
: Akane: (muttering) One of these days I'm gonna toss a bucket of
: ice water on her, and take her to the vet's to be spayed.
Yay! *Good* idea. Hot damn, somebody should write a fic along
these lines. }:)
: Akane: (thinking) Speaking of which, I wonder if I should have P-
: chan fixed...that might stop him from wandering away so often.
: And they say the procedure is fairly painless...
[keels over] Oh *man*! That's one little piggie who's in for an
experience.
How do you *do* that? This whole episode never left me time to
catch my breath. Every single gag was followed up by another one
before I had recovered. Not a single joke that misfired or
sizzled - perfect hits, every single one of them. Wow.
BTW, could you send me parts 2 & 3 of this, Mike? Apparently I
lost them.
Sebastian