fanfic@fanfic.com,Internet
écrivait ou/or wrote:
Hi all, This is just, well I'm not actually sure why I started writing
it, I had a few ideas for how to write a piece like this and it flowed.
What do
you think?
Well, here's some C&C, suggestions and a few grammatical fixes (not
all of them):
"Actually it's just me, Shampoo's shown herself to be a bit too
soft hearted to get rid of Akane like she should have right from the
^^^^^^^^^^^^
soft-hearted
The park was crowded. Ranma saw Nabiki standing at a opening
^^^
an opening
"Don't try to talk. Save you're strength, we'll talk after the
^^^^^^
your
want everyone who's after my son too know what's happened."
^^^
to
something different about it. On his forehead there was a Chinese
^^^
her forehead
not here about Jusenkyo, or the promise of Sepoku you've feared so
^^^^^^
It's more often written as seppuku, but since it's transliteration, I
guess anything's good.
our own. The one who's soul we have taken becomes our WU, our...
protector and servant. As the soul is kept safe within our own, the
WU's body becomes immune from harm, all injuries heal at fantastic
speed, and they share our own longevity, and a portion of our power."
I just thought of something: *Akane* is supposed to protect Ranma
now? This ought to be fun. I see a few points here: if Akane is Ranma's
Wu (I like it better than WU), then does she have the ability to summon
demons? In 3x3 Eyes, Yakumo only gains that ability in the second
series. What about Ranma? If Akane shares a bit of Ranma's power,
then she's likely to get stronger than she is now.
"We knew, Ranma." Nodoka responded. "You see, I became
human in the Nyanichuan, and within a few hours the character marking
your father my WU faded forever. We traveled apart for a few years, I
This is my only bone in the story. If Nodoka jumped in the
Nyannichuan, shouldn't she still revert to her Sanjiyan nature with hot
water? Shouldn't Genma also become a Wu again when she's splashed with
hot water? (Unless she found a way to make the curse permanent) Is that
how she plans to train Ranma in his Sanjiyan abilities?
"So what about that promise? The man among men thing?"
Nabiki asked.
You came out of it very well, considering what you had to work with.
My compliments! Another question: how exactly did martial arts prepare
Ranma in "dealing with life as a Sanjiyan?".
"Hmm, getting soft in you're old age I see." Genma
commented. ^^^^^^^
your
Nodoka glanced at him with an annoyed look, "She is my son's
fiancÈe, not some slow witted wanderer I just met."
Genma turned to Akane and said, "She illustrated my newly
gained healing power to me by chopping off my head." He rubbed his
neck and winced somewhat.
I liked that bit... At least now we know why she always keeps a
katana around. ;)
Ranma had risen to her feet. Her right arm was extended from
throwing Happosei into the garden. Her third eye was open and glaring
at the old master. "You disgusting old freak." She said, her voice
vibrating with power.
I've been wondering what would happen if Ranma was to summon a demon
against Happosai. The only two summonable demons I remember from the
3x3 Eyes series are the underground spider/crab creature and the
flying, one-eyed, tailed seashell.
Something tells me Cologne is going to have an extremely unpleasant
visit from a pissed-off Sanjiyan and his Wu... (whooppeee!)
How will Akane react to her immortality? What about Ranma? Now that
he's uncovered his Sanjiyan heritage, he should theoretically have a
longer life span. <grin> At least now, he doesn't have to worry about
hurting Akane in a sparring match!
I wonder if Ranma now has the same schizophrenic personality
disorder with his Sanjiyan side that Pai had with Parvatti...
Oh well, I hope I haven't been too much of a nag. I'm not usually
like this.
The Phoenix Reborn (Mmmmhhh, Pai meets Tenshinhan, the first 3x3
Eyes/DBZ cossover? On the sidelines, Vejiita is most seriously pissed
because Yakumo ends up being even harder to kill than
Majiin-Buu...)
**********************
* The Phoenix Reborn * Jordanite and Mystical
********************** Freak at Large
Louis-Philippe Giroux
Phoenix@upc.qc.ca
Phoenix@cmq.qc.ca