My own, personal, fanfic of self-destruction (not infliction, although
it may start that way)
By Jeremy Walker
Author's notes:
First of all, I'm just posting this because it finished before my
fanfic did (big surprise
here). Here's the basic information on my fanfic to help you understand.
1. It's in the Ranma universe.
(Like I could write anything else....maybe I can do another show when I
get more practice)
2. There is a corporation that has the technology to travel between
alternate universes.
(Which is pretty cool, since a version of me runs it. Keep in mind that
most of the universes involved
are really just uncompleted fanfics that are sitting on my hard drive.
Makes it more fun. Also, I
don't have to think of as many plots!)
3. The corporation basically hires the same people, but from different
universes.
(There are 27 Ranmas hired. Some are batchelors, others married to
either Akane, Ukyou,
Shampoo, etc.)
4. I am a minor character in the story. I also have different versions
of myself, one of
them being here.
(There are 6 Jeremys hired by the yet unnamed corporation. Three are
dead by the end of the first
part!)
5. The corporation is like a government. They have spy agencies, etc.
(They study magic, too. Not very well, though. They also have very
highly advanced computers.)
6. I should have used the writing style that I'm using in my epic
fanfic, "Time and Space"
(tentative title). I almost totally switched to it at the end though.
(After the letter.)
(I like "Time and Space"'s stlye better.)
7. I use way too many parenthesis.
(I never noticed that before.)
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Jeremy stared down the halls of the particular school that he happened
to attend at the
time. "Why do they all look the same? All the halls look the same."
As he walked past a bulletin board full of useless information, he
failed to notice a large
gaping hole in the time-space continuum. Needless to say, he fell in.
--*--
When he awoke, he apparently noticed that he was in the branches of
some tree. He
was a bit out of it. No, really out of it. He looked like hell, too (in
his own personal opinion). He
was dressed in one of his usual work uniforms. A tux, of course. What
else would a spy wear?
He was way too dizzy to notice that he wasn't wearing the tux before,
and twirled his head
drunkenly looking around, then promptly fell off the branch he happened
to be sitting on.
BONK!
"Who are you, vile dog, that dares mock the great Tatewaki Kunou? From
whence you
came?" Jeremy didn't fail to notice the large wooden sword that was
pointed in his general
direction. He had some very interesting commentary on the subject. "What
the hell?" was all he
could get out.
"From hell, you say? You must have been conjured by the evil sorcerer
Saotome.
PREPARE TO DIE!"
Now completely awake, Jeremy recognized the last three words and
decided that
jumping away would be the best strategy. He leaped to his feet, and as
quick as he could,
dodged out of the way of the bokken.
WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP!
But not the next ones.
WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP!
"Oh, god. Help me."
"That should teach you to challenge the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"
Lightning flashed from heaven, frying the bruised protagonist, who
immediately fainted.
--*--
Darkness. Light. Doctor. Girl.
Something was odd. Jeremy couldn't place what it was.
"When you're asleep, Jeremy, what do you see?"
'All of the above, some more than others.'
"What do you see when you wake up?"
'All of the a...no. Never saw a girl.'
Jeremy sat up, once again fully conscious. "Huh? What?" he said, and
was assailed by a
hand. He decided to repeat himself. "Huh? What?"
"Come on, I haven't got all day."
Jeremy suddenly remembered everything that had happened, which scared
him a lot.
"Wow. Who would have thought that he shot Kennedy." he thought. He then
remembered the
more recent past and came to the stunning conclusion that he was once
again in the Ranma
universe. "Which one, I wonder." came to his mind.
"Well?"
Oh, yes. The girl. Who was she? His mind decided to give him a boost.
"Must be Nabiki."
"Um, do you accept dollars?"
"Is this some sort of joke?"
Jeremy decided that he might be a faster sprinter than Nabiki.
"Hey, get back here!" Jeremy was paying too much attention to notice
who had yelled
that particular comment. It happened to be both Nabiki *and* Dr. Tofu.
--*--
Jeremy dived into and alley, slumping to the ground. He'd finally lost
her. Man, was he
tired. He suddenly realized that he wasn't feeling very well. Maybe the
blood loss was part of
that. He looked out of the alley. There was a lovely couple talking
animatedly while walking down
the sidewalk. "Hey, maybe they could help. They look nice enough."
Jeremy made his way out of the alley, holding his ribs. Apparently, his
shirt was red.
Funny how it had been white earlier. "Hey," his subconcsious whispered,
"That guy has a pigtail,
and the girl has short hair. Stay out of the blast area."
"Shut up, subconscious."
When a man begins to talk to himself, something must be wrong. Jeremy
was the only
one to hear, though, and his vision was so fuzzy he didn't care.
"Ah, <cough> hello, sir."
"Huh?"
"Ah, <hack> down here."
Ranma looked down. "Whoa. What the hell happened to you?"
"No matter. I need a, uh...um....ah," Jeremy's mind blanked for a
second. "A doctor. Yes.
Now, can you and your lovely wife help me up and...."
"WIFE?" they both yelled.
"Nuh, uh." Ranma said. "No way I'm ever marrying her. Uncute tomboy."
"RANMA!"
Akane swung out with her hammer. With an amazing stroke of good luck,
Ranma tripped
over Jeremy, and tuck-and-rolled out of danger. Akane accidentally
overswung, and fell into
Ranma's lap. She looked up into his eyes. They both hugged and made up.
Apparently it wasn't
5374 prime. It was a win-win situation. Unless you happened to be one of
Ranma or Akane's
uncountable suitors. Or fiancees. Or Jeremy.
Akane's swing had overswung all right. Jeremy knew that quite well. He
was busy
recooperating from the damage done to his shoulder when...
BONK!
"How dare you mock me?"
Jeremy's ultimately-superior-to-his-conscious-mind unconscious mind
kicked into gear.
"Holy-"
It didn't get to finish the thought until after Jeremy's
ultimately-inferior-to-his-
unconscious-mind conscious mind had shut down. His conscious got a good
look at the sky
before blacking out, though.
--*--
Jeremy awoke to an amazing pain. He also awoke to an unforgiving world.
Unconsciously, he checked his right pocket. Empty. That would have been
good, had not his
wallet been there scant (minutes....hours......days?) ago. Oh, wait.
There's slip of paper there.
It read:
Dear Mr. Walker,
You shouldn't have been laying out in the street like that. I pulled
you out of the
street and placed you next to this park, that was just a mere seven feet
away. I took some
reimbursement for this, and my previous service to you. Across the
street, I discovered that
some stores accept your credit cards.
Nabiki Tendo
Jeremy buried his face in his hands. "What could possibly happen now?"
he asked the
world at large.
"Good evening. I hope you had a good rest."
Jeremy looked up in hope. "All right! Ranma! You're here to help me
out, right?"
Ranma wore a dark tuxedo, pants, and a white shirt. Ranma swiped the
dark overcoat
back to stick his hands into his pockets, showing more of the white
shirt, and revealed a brown
object hidden under his arm. The object was still too concealed to tell
what it was. The shirt had
a small, highly detailed insignia above the right breast pocket. Jeremy
took it as the dragon
insignia of the second spy agency of the corporation.
Jeremy continued. "What number are you?"
"Twelve." he responded calmly.
"Thanks, number twelve. You don't know how much this means to-"
Jeremy's heart
paused. "NUMBER TWELVE!?"
Number twelve quickly pulled his hands out of his pockets, the ebony
overcoat dropping
down into place. It moved off to the side as the wind began to blow. Not
stopping to wait, Ranma
moved his right arm outward, slipping his left hand under it.
Jeremy, in his weakened state, tried to reach into his holster.
"I'll help you alright, Jeremy." Ranma said as he tried to finish the
move quicker than
Jeremy.
Jeremy had his hand out.
"I'll help you out of this misery," Number twelve continued.
Ranma moved his left hand out from under his right arm and moved it to
point directly at
Jeremy's head. His right hand quickly joined it. The gun gleamed in the
setting sun, half of
Ranma's body was already covered in shadow, giving him the menacing look
that a vampire
deserved.
"By sending you to hell." Ranma completed, emptying his Colt .45 into
Jeremy's chest.
Jeremy flew back, landing on the hard sidewalk, instead of the soft
grass. What was left of
Jeremy's blood leaked onto the sidewalk.
"Two more to go."
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Yet more Author's notes:
Either send me your comments or put them on the list. I suggest the
list, because others will be
able to extrapolate (did I use the right word here?) more on the
comment. Keep in mind that I
typed this up on a whim, and did not bother to look it over before
posting it. In other news...
I decided that, if changed dramatically and keeping the ending, this
would make a good side
story to my fanfic. If I get lucky (not in that sense ^_^) maybe the
first chapter will be ready
before the summer starts. :(
In your comments, do not keep in mind that this my first 'fic post. Be
ruthless. By the way, give
me suggestions for 1. What I should call my 'fic about the corporation.
and 2. What the corporation's
name should be.
Wow. This was short.
-Jeremy
Ranma gathered Akane into his arms, kissing her passionately just as
their families
walked into the room. They were all shocked, but not as much as the
actual Ranma and Akane
were, who happened to be watching from a terminal in building 42.
"What are they trying to do? They're supposed to be covering for us,
and instead they try
to get us married by the end of the week! I'll kill number seven
personally."