And here's the *other* idea, the one that I have given more serious
thought. Don't hit me, it just *wouldn't* let me go. BTW, kudos to
whoever gets the reference before reading the end.


"War of the Ranmas"

	"You have some valid reasons for wanting a divorce," the tall,
attractive woman said as she flicked a ten-yen coin in her fingers. She
was Nabiki Tendo, the most famous civil lawyer in Tokyo. Her office was
located in the modern complex of the International Forum, and it had a
grand view of the entire city. Sitting on a corner of her desk, she
smiled at the man who sat before her. He looked like a typical, nameless
worker, balding and harmless in the leather chair. but she knew he was
not what he seemed. He was a powerful businessman --he had to be: only
the super-rich could afford Nabiki's fees.
	Suddenly the coin fell off from her hand and under the desk. She was
about to reach for it when her client took it and politely gave it back.
	"Thanks," she said, "I really hate to lose money." With a sad smirk,
she added, "You know, this coin was given to me by a man named
Kinnosuke. Sounds familiar?" He nodded. "Good for you. Anyway, this was
a bet we once made, where we wagered the expenses for an entire date."
She snorted to herself, "I never saw him again... And I vowed to never
make such a stupid bet in my life."
	She looked at the coin again, "I actually lived up to that. At least,
until three years ago. Look," she took out a small plastic case out of
her drawer and inserted the coin in it, "I even had this made for it. I
told me, if I didn't use this coin on anything, I would *never* make a
bet again."
	Her face was then clouded. The client could tell she was recalling
something.
	"I think I'll give you some advice. Don't worry, I won't clock you
yet," she said with a smirk. "And believe me, when Nabiki Tendo offers
you advice free of charge, you'd better listen."
	The man nodded in agreement. Nabiki smiled and continued. "Let me tell
you about a couple, my sister, Akane, and her husband, Ranma Saotome."
She looked out the window and sighed. She waited a few minutes before
turning back to him.
	"They met... awfully. They always joked about it after they married,
but the way I see it, the poor idiots never had a chance.
	"I think the problems began when they moved into their new house. Ranma
had it made in the Physical Education position at the finest University
in Japan, and he had made quite a name for himself. My sister, on the
other hand, seemed to be missing something.
	"One day, when Ranma was trying to get all cuddly, Akane got angry at
him and they fought. Heh. You may fight your wife with *words*, but
Ranma and Akane fought with hands and feet. Don't look so surprised, but
were superb martial artists. But as I was saying, they had a fight.
Akane hurt Ranma badly and he decided to let her be.
	"Then the next day, when he was in a meeting, he started having this
horrible seizure. He had to be taken to a hospital. Most people thought
he was having a heart attack, and he used his last strength to write an
impromptu last will and testament where he said that everything he was
he owed to Akane, and that all he had was her own. But he didn't die,
mind you. It turned out to be simply chest pain from what Akane had done
to him earlier.
	"That little incident went without much to say. Ranma loved my sister
very much, and he didn't want to fight with her again. But then she was
interested in a catering service for private parties. She never really
learned to cook, and Ranma pointed that out. That was the beginning of
the end for those two.
	"Akane hired an atturney and filed for a divorce. She demanded
everything --the house, the furniture-- except custody of their two
children. Ranma found out that she was using his makeshift testament to
coerce him. The idiot should have never written that. He then came to
me, first because I'm the best and second because I was Akane's sister.
We tried to work out an arrangement, but nothing seemed to work. And the
worst part was that Ranma was still in love with her, deeply, even
though she considered him no better than yesterday's garbage.
	"The last straw was when Ranma accidentally destroyed Akane's kitchen,
right during a party she was offering for her clients. They wrecked
their house and chased everyone out. Since then, they retreated to their
own rooms and mantained a sort of siege on each other."
	Nabiki sighed, and looked downwards, "In the end, they ended up killing
themselves when the chandelier they were hanging onto gave away and they
fell into a pile of equipment that was lying beneath them."
	Her client stared at her confused.
	She smiled at him, "Now I want you to go and be civil to your wife.
Talk it over. I don't want to describe you the exact details of how my
sister and Ranma cracked."
	The man hurriedly nodded and stood up, shook her hand, and bolted out
of the office. Nabiki snickered slightly. She would lose more clients if
she told everyone about what happened to her sister and brother-in-law.
	With a sigh, she picked up the newspaper, and dialed the phone.
	"Hello, Tokyo Race Track?"


			The End.

--This, if you noticed, was a blatant plagiarism of the movie "War of
the Roses" starring Michael Douglas (the husband) Kathleen Turner (the
wife) and Danny DeVito (the lawyer), but with Ranma chars in their
place.
	It is almost common knowledge that Akane and Ranma are going to be
happily married once they work out their differences. But my question
is, what if they aren't? What if they ended up worse than the characters
from "War of the Roses"?
	Think about that.


The Zephyr
al709382@campus.ccm.itesm.mx