Terence Fergusson (101740.1042@compuserve.com)
Books/Bubblegum Crisis/Sailor Moon
"Boomers and Youmas"
Part 1 : "Running Man"
Both Bubblegum Crisis and Sailor Moon are copyrighted by their
respective
copyright owners. Any material used from Bubblegum Crisis or the
original
Sailor Moon series are not of my own creation, and I take no credit for
it.
Thank you for not suing me.
Ian Robinson, Chronos, and all the Books-related stuff are presumably
copyright Terence Fergusson aka Me. This fanfic, excepting those
scenes,
characters and other stuff that belongs to the two aforementioned
series,
plus any other anime, manga or general fiction, is mine.
Story notes: /.../ designates thoughts...
_..._ designates stressed words...
Any other strange symbols _should_ be self-explanatory.
I used to distinguish between English and foreign languages in the Books
stories, but have refrained from it this time due to a new development
in
the timeline. All will be explained.
This takes place a few months after Ian found himself in Ranma 1/2.
And now, the feature presentation... ^_^
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PROLOGUE
Now was his chance.
A swift elbow to the gut downed one of his captors, and while the
others
were distracted, Ian broke away from them and belted down the corridor,
diving into a side room, and slamming the door behind him.
He lost no time in drawing the heavy wooden beam across the door,
locking
himself in. In a few seconds, he had retrieved his confiscated
belongings;
his brown leather jacket, with his pulse-laser pistol still hanging out
of
its inside pocket, and his leather backpack, complete with rations and
various camping equipment. He had been fortunate to be still conscious
when
he saw the guards taking his stuff in here.
The guards had lost no time either. Already shouts were ringing
throughout
the dungeon, and they were trying to break down the door. A crack had
appeared in the middle of the beam holding the door closed, and it was
growing with each attempt they made.
A glance at his watch gave him ten seconds to go. He counted down
under
his breath, looking fearfully at the door. It wouldn't do to have it
all end
with a crossbow quarrel in his back.
Bingo! The stopwatch trilled triumphantly at him, and started
counting
down from 24:00:00 again. But something was wrong. No bluefire portal
had
appeared this time to whisk him away. The door was almost open now, and
he
could hear heavy armoured footsteps approaching from elsewhere in the
dungeon. What could have gone wrong?!
There was only one answer. The portal hadn't appeared in this room.
Which
meant he had to break through the knot of guards outside. Cursing his
luck,
he drew his pistol, and aimed at the door. He had less than a minute to
do
this right.
The door chose that moment to finally give, bursting open as the beam
snapped in two. But before any of the guards could enter, Ian let loose
a
volley of laser fire, scattering some, scorching others. Cries of
"Sorcery!"
swept down the halls, and for a brief moment, a space opened up in the
corridor.
It was enough. Ian burst into it, firing sporadically into the midst
of
the guardsmen, keeping them at bay. /Only twenty seconds left,/ he
thought,
as he took another hasty glance at his stopwatch, /then it's over, one
way or
another./
There! To his right, at the end of a corridor, was a flickering
wafer-thin
portal of bluefire. No one else seemed to have noticed it. Probably
because
no one else _could_ notice it; these `gates' seemed to be attuned to
himself
only. No matter. It was his only escape, and even that would disappear
in
about fifteen seconds....
Following some sort of survival instinct, Ian ducked. A crossbow bolt
whistled over his head, clattering to the floor when it hit the stone
wall in
front of him. At least one of his guards had the courage to fire at a
`wizard'. Ian didn't know how much longer his luck would last. He just
put
his head down, and ran all the harder.
It came as a surprise to the guard when the fugitive simply vanished
into
thin air. /Mind you,/ he thought, /he is a wizard./
But neither he nor his comrade could figure out where their last
crossbow
bolt had gone.
--**************--
Once again, Ian felt the sheer acceleration, as his body went faster
and
faster, sucked into the blue light, taken towards his next destination.
The
speed was making him feel faint, but he knew it would be over, in just a
few... more... seconds....
--**************--
In another time, place, and dimension, there was, or rather is, a town
named Bath. It is one of many on an island named Britain, which itself
is
just one of many nations on this blue, green world that its inhabitants
had
named Earth. It is important to remember that although Ian was a native
of
this town, he is nowhere near it at this present time.
There is, in one of Bath's many streets, a bookstore. It is named
"Books".
It's a late Sunday evening. In fact, the phrase "it was still a late
Sunday evening" would be more appropriate. An angry thunderstorm
dominates
the sky. Lightning is striking from the heavens, vividly illuminating
the
inside of the bookstore, if only for a few moments.
Inside is a complete mess. Books have been strewn all over the floor.
There are many different types of books here. At least one of each, one
would say. By every author who has ever lived.
However, one of them has no author. It is lying on a shelf on the
only
bookcase that is still standing. It's open to a page near the beginning
of
the book, except it's obvious from the size of the tome that many pages
have already been covered.
Now, the page that it's on has finally been finished. A new chapter
is
starting. The page turns by itself, revealing a pair of blank sheets.
And then, they begin to fill....
--**************--
CHAPTER 1 - There's No Police Like The ADPolice...
DAY 1
It is unfortunate that Ian's predicament carried several rules. One
such
that applies here were those governing the gates that Ian used to enter
other
realms and dimensions. Realms and dimensions better known to him as
_books_.
The gates followed strict patterns. For instance, they only appeared
once
per twenty-four hour period; a fact that Ian already knew, and kept
track of.
After they appeared, they only kept open for sixty seconds, forcing him
to
hurry if he wanted to leave or, as so often happens, escape.
They were one-way as well; as soon as Ian left a portal, it would snap
shut
behind him. No one else could use the portal, or indeed even see it.
However, the rule that applies the most in this situation is the one
that
dictates where he goes _to_. No matter what realm he ended up in,
whether
science-fiction, fantasy, or present-day, the place he ended up would
always
have similarities to the place he came from. Therefore, it was of
little
surprise, but worrying, that he found himself running out from the
portal
into a corridor of a jail.
A police officer looked up from where he was sitting. His eyes
focused
once on Ian and his dishevelled appearance, and then on the pistol still
in
Ian's hand. Ian followed the man's gaze to the weapon, and then grinned
sheepishly. He made to put the gun away.
Sadly, it was taken as an aggressive move by the inexperienced
officer.
Ian dove to one side to avoid a barrage of bullets, only to have his
head
bounce sickeningly off a cell bar. He slid to the floor, only vaguely
aware
of his surroundings. He faintly heard the guard shout for
reinforcements,
and felt a sharp pain in his wrist as the pistol was kicked away from
him.
/Why does this always happen,/ he thought frustratedly, as he slipped
slowly
into unconsciousness.
--**************--
He woke again in a slightly familiar environment. A jail cell. With,
fortunately, himself as the only occupant. The reason it was familiar
was
simply because this morning he had been sitting in a dungeon, awaiting
his
execution on suspicion on sorcery. As if appearing from nowhere in the
king's courtroom actually counted as such. He was just lucky that
they'd
left him his watch, and that the timing of his escape had been
perfect....
He realised that his backpack and pistol had gone walkies again.
Probably
been confiscated by those bloody police officers. And he could feel a
headache coming on. Bloody headache, bloody police officers, and bloody
fate. It _had_ to be Fate; there was no bloody force powerful enough to
keep
him alive yet still keep him in trouble. At the very least, someone
really
had it in for him up there, otherwise he'd have been out of this by
now. And
he didn't mean the jail.
Ian had been trapped in these `books' for about eight months now.
Eight
months since a freak storm sent him scurrying for cover. And since it
had
been Sunday evening, almost all of the shops were closed, which was a
pity,
because he had been caught in the middle of town.
He hadn't noticed at the time, but it had been eerily quiet in the
street
where he found the one store with a light on; a bookstore.
It had been his curiosity, as usual, that had gotten him into trouble.
A few subtle hints led him to a secret door in the store, which had
opened to
reveal a vertical pit as a room that would never, under the normal laws
of
space and matter, have fitted into the small confines of the bookstore.
He remembered the door slamming shut, and then the echoing crashes
that
began seconds afterward. They had started off slowly, yet quickly
gained
in frequency as the spiral staircase inscribed within the pit began to
collapse from the bottom up. He remembered racing up the doomed
staircase,
striving to reach any sort of sanctuary, and almost running off the edge
as
the stairs abruptly ended at the top with nowhere else to go. And then,
he
remembered that final moment, with only half a turn of the staircase
left, as
he noticed a portal hovering just feet away from the end of the stairs,
made
of red fire; not the blue he'd seen since. Self-preservation forced his
next
and only move.
Yet it had been the only red portal he'd ever seen. He now suspected
that
that would be his ticket home. But all he'd encountered so far were
made of
bluefire. Sometimes he thought he'd never find a way home....
The eight months of constant leaping, running, fighting, as well as
the
interspersing moments of blissful sleep or simple unconsciousness had
all
taken their toll on Ian. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in ages,
and his
clothes were ragged and torn. His light brown hair was unkempt, and the
T-shirt he wore had a whole number of different stains on it; the
primary
ones being grass and dirt. His leather jacket was badly creased, and in
some
places, rather dirt-encrusted, but had somehow managed to survive most
of the
punishment that had been dished out to it. The pale blue jeans he wore
had
become even paler, and frayed at the knees. Ian had once worn trainers;
they
were the first to go, having been subjected to deep water, acid, and
heat to
name a few, they had finally succumbed. He now wore brown lace-up
boots,
which happened to be a lot more resistant to damage.
However, all that changed nothing; Ian was looking forward to the next
time
he would get a decent hot meal, and maybe some coffee. Perhaps a nice
bath,
and a shave even. He hadn't had hospitality like that since....
/No. I'm not going to even think about that. I am not going to even
consider the word `man...' that genre./ Ian looked around fearfully.
/It
might return to haunt me./
As he sat on the only bed in the cell, mulling over his current
situation,
the sound of electronic locks being disengaged came from the door. Ian
rose
to his feet as a smartly dressed officer entered. His blond hair was
neatly
combed, but the moustache didn't hide the frown he wore openly.
"Ok, you," he said gruffly. "Follow me."
Feeling in no mood to argue, Ian got to his feet, and trundled after
him,
nursing his throbbing head.
As he walked along, something occurred to him. The officer had spoken
Japanese. Damn it, the bloody officer had spoken to him in Japanese.
Ian
had no problem with understanding the language; since his last escapade
in
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", he had picked up a very handy
organism named the Babel Fish, that enabled Ian to understand any spoken
language. That was not the problem. The problem was, that the fact
that
Japanese was the common language here meant that there was a severe
likelihood that he'd stumbled into what was for him, the worst place he
could
ever have imagined. He knew he was in hot water - that metaphor
seemingly
apt - the moment his line of thoughts had even _strayed_ near that word;
a
word belonging to a genre of books that just meant trouble to Ian.
"Manga," he muttered under his breath.
Ian had had a lot of trouble with Manga. Back when he was in Uni, a
friend
of his had tried to get him into it. However, being a student of
English
Literature meant that although Ian spent a lot of time reading, most of
it
was directly attributed to the course. And Manga, in Ian's opinion,
wasn't
English, and probably wasn't Literature. Despite this, he'd managed to
get
acquainted with some of the more popular manga and anime. Lucky for
him.
The trouble had started a few months ago, when the portal had taken
him to
the city of Tokyo. He hadn't known it at the time, but he'd ended up in
the
world of "Ranma 1/2". There, Ian discovered exactly what the
disadvantages
of living through a severe pounding were, and what it was like to live
in a
world where everyone seems to misconstrue everything you do for the
worst
possible thing.
Oh, and what it was like to be in a place where everyone was a better
fighter than you.
To top that, Chronos had mounted a severe attack against Ian at the
time.
Ian had just decided to spend a few days with the Tendo's, accepting
their
hospitality, and more to the point, their baths and hot meals. And not
only
had he had to put up with the normal - ( /Normal?!/ ) - activities, he'd
also
had to put a stop to Chronos's plans in that book. Which had almost
lead to
a confrontation with the big guy himself. Herself. Whatever he was.
That
bloody shadowy figure that stalked him calling himself Chronos was
beginning
to get on his nerves.
Since then, Ian had harboured an intense dislike for Japanese comics
where
the characters could take a great deal of punishment (i.e. lived to deal
with
the pain of recovering), and where a great deal of chaos and mayhem
happened.
On the other hand though, it had been the last time he'd had a chance to
really clean up....
/Well,/ he thought, /maybe I'll be lucky. I mean, just cos I'm in
Tokyo,
it doesn't mean it _has_ to be Manga./
They came to a halt by a specific desk in a large office area. The
desk
was vacant for the moment, but the police officer escorting Ian pushed
him
into a nearby chair. "Wait here," he ordered, "the Sergeant will deal
with
you shortly." The officer turned and then went his separate way.
/Leaving me unguarded, eh?/ thought Ian as he watched the man go. But
then
he took a closer look around. The room was filled with police; although
most of them appeared to be desk-jocks, there was no way he would be
able to
slip out of here unnoticed. Besides, the guys still had his gun and
pack.
He couldn't leave without those.
He was startled out of his thoughts by the approach of the large
dark-haired man in uniform. He looked about in his thirties, and didn't
seem happy to be here. A name-tag proclaimed himself as Detective
Fraser.
He sat himself down at the desk, and produced a blank form, which he
started
to fill in after giving Ian a searching glare.
"Name?" he barked.
/Well, if you're going to be like that..../ Ian bit back a sarcastic
remark, figuring he'd do better if he started to think up a story now.
He'd
talked himself out of worse than this, hadn't he?
He cheerfully ignored the fact that he had also talked himself into
worse.
"Ian Robinson."
"Age?"
"Twenty-one."
"Job?"
Ian thought about this for a moment. Job? What _was_ his job here?
An idea sprang to mind. Maybe there was a way outta here, and an
excuse to
get his gun back.
"I'm an inventor. Self-employed."
Fraser grunted at that. "You got any ID? You look a little young to
be
out working for yourself." He turned up his nose. "You also don't look
like
one of those techheads. Heck, you don't look like you've had a bath in
weeks!"
Oops. He hadn't thought of that. Especially about his appearance.
His
mind raced as he thought up an excuse. But the detective's patience was
fast
running out and....
"Fraser!"
Fraser spun round to face the back of the office area, where a tall
dark
haired officer stood, yelling from her office. "Yes Ma'am?" he replied
with
obvious disgruntlement.
"I need you to help organise the paperwork that's coming in this
afternoon."
"But Inspector," protested Fraser angrily, disliking having this
particular
job dropped in his lap.
"Two minutes, Fraser," she warned, before disappearing back into her
room,
closing the door behind her.
"Yes Ma'am," Fraser muttered, before turning back to face Ian. "Now,
about
that ID...."
By this time, Ian was ready. "I'm sorry, Officer, but I didn't bring
any
identification with me. In fact, I wasn't planning on going out today.
And
as for my appearance...." He tried a wry smile, but it felt odd on him
under
these circumstances. "I've really just been living on caffeine for the
past
week. You know how it is, you get a project, you spend days and nights
on
it, hardly sleeping."
He received a suspicious glare. "Care to explain how you got into our
jail? And why you threatened one of our officers?"
/This had better work,/ he thought, as he got the final kinks out of
his
story. "I'm sorry if your officer thought I was threatening him. I
assure
you I made no aggressive moves. I'm sure the officer concerned told you
I
had appeared from nowhere? He was telling the truth."
That provoked another glare. /Looks like I hit the nail on the head.
Guess they didn't believe the poor sod./
"I was testing an invention of mine. A small matter-transporter. I
guess
it's still got a few bugs in it. I guess I'm lucky I'm even alive. Had
I
materialised inside a wall...." Ian let his sentence trail. The
portals
seemed to do a good job in so much that he'd never found himself in
_that_
situation. However, the thought had occurred to him. If a portal could
open
up five-hundred feet in mid-air, who says they couldn't transport him
into
the middle of Ayer's Rock?
"Where d'ya live?"
/Uh-oh./ Perhaps the story wasn't as watertight as he had originally
thought. He didn't know where the hell he was, and a wrong answer here
could
really have him up against the wall. /Well, guess it's time to really
wing
it./ "I'm still in Japan, aren't I?"
That seemed to irritate Fraser further. "Yes, of course. Why
shouldn't
you be?"
Ian laughed. It was hard, but he managed to pull it off without
seeming
too nervous. "With the number of bugs apparent in my invention, I would
probably be lucky to be in the same continent!" There was a flaw in
that
argument, but if he was lucky....
He received yet another glare, and a raised eyebrow. "Yeah? And
what's
the likelihood of you `appearing' in the ADP cells?"
"About the same as anywhere else, I reckon," countered Ian, having
fortunately been asked that type of question before.
His interrogator seemed suspicious. "And how do you work that out?"
"Have _you_ made an intensive study of quantum mechanics?"
Fraser hesitated. "Not as such, what are you getting at?"
Ian grinned. It was probably a mistake, but he did so all the same.
/There might be a chance of me getting out of here, after all!/ "Well,
then
you probably don't understand just how complex Matter Transportation can
be.
You see, it's like Chaos...."
"I don't want to hear some crackpot explanation. I just want...."
"Fraser! Detective Fraser!"
The door to the officer's room was wide open, and the officer herself
was
halfway across the floorspace when she shouted the detective's name.
Fraser
let out an audible groan, and saluted his superior. "Yes Inspector?"
"I said two minutes, Fraser. You should be finished with the kid by
now."
Fraser spluttered. "But Inspector, he hasn't...."
"Fraser," interrupted the officer, "need I remind you that at four
o'clock,
all the paperwork to do with ADP's budget next year will come streaming
in
through those doors, and that we're going to be swamped until we get it
all
out of the way."
The detective grimaced. "No Ma'am."
"Then just stamp the form and let the kid go. We've got more
important
things to worry about, like possible budget cuts."
"Yes Ma'am."
"You've got one more minute Detective. Then my office."
"Yes Ma'am."
As the inspector stalked away, Fraser furiously (in both senses of the
word) filled out the rest of the form, stamping and filing it away.
"Just
get outta here, will ya? And make sure you don't come back. And get a
bath,
you stink worse than... Just go, ok?" He pointed towards the door, and
started to get up.
"Waitta sec."
Fraser rounded on him. "What is it?!"
"My stuff? The gun-like device is another invention I'm working on.
I
think while I was tinkering with it, it might have caused the
calibration of
the Matter-Transporter unit to...."
Fraser let out an angry sigh and picked up the phone on his desk,
tapping
in the appropriate extension number. "Yeah, Detective Fraser here.
Look,
this kid's been discharged, but there's a bunch of his stuff down
there. No,
I can't hold, I've got... Yes, that's the stuff. Look, I don't care
what
Tech thinks, I'm discharging the guy right now, and they're his..."
The inspector's door opened one more time, and the woman poked her
head
out. "Fraser!"
Fraser cursed under his breath. "Just have it there, okay! Good.
Bye."
Fraser hung up and started towards the woman who was waiting impatiently
for
him.
"What about my stuff?" asked Ian again.
"Just sign for it downstairs, okay?" came the tired reply. "And don't
let
me see you again." He disappeared into the inspector's office, leaving
Ian
staring at the door bemused.
He shrugged and turned to leave. Hell, he was out of here, right?
Right.
Just collect his gun and pack, and he would be home free. No
complications.
Everything would be just peachy.
--**************--
A few desks away, a red-haired woman looked up from her computer at
the
young man leaving the building. /So that's the guy the officer on guard
duty was babbling about. Wonder what he did to get Fraser all upset.
Well,
I guess no one will mind if I just sneak a peek at his file..../
With that thought in mind, Nene Romanova went back to work.
--**************--
Outside, Ian kneeled down and checked his recovered backpack.
Everything
seemed to be there, but there was also a curious addition. Sticking out
of
his shield generator was a single crossbow quarrel. The ShieldGen had
been
sitting there awaiting a much needed charge; it was difficult to find a
suitable charger outside of Titan.
/Shit! That was lucky! That almost killed me!/ He tentatively
removed
it from the piece of equipment, and was rewarded by a shower of sparks.
/Damn. I'm not going to be able to get that fixed in a hurry. Guess
I'm
back down to one mistake, and I'm history./ He smiled ruefully.
/"Luck" is
my middle name,/ he quoted. /Mind you, my first name's "Bad"./
With a sigh, he hefted his pack again, and took a look at the city.
It
seemed to be early afternoon. Plenty of time to find some abandoned
warehouse and bed down before the next portal. /Now,/ he thought,
/which way
to the docks..../
--**************--
On the other side of the city, a group of thugs were having an
altogether
more unpleasant encounter.
"Look, man," said the ringleader, "what do you want?"
Their little ambush on the figure cloaked in shadow hadn't gone well.
It
had been following them for about ten minutes now, before they decided
to
find out just what this guy thought he was up to. A sort of a show of
force
to demonstrate to their unwitting pursuer just who he was dealing with.
Yet despite the fact that they had firearms, and had eventually been
forced
to use them, the guy had simply stood there, not seemingly harmed at
all. If
it was a guy. Anyhow, one of their number was down on the floor, hit by
some
sort of weapon the guy had. It now seemed obvious who was performing
the
show of force.
Cloaked in shadow wasn't just a metaphor in this case. Even when the
person stood under a streetlamp, his entire body seemed just a black
outline,
literally something that light couldn't penetrate. It was enough to
spook
anyone.
A heavily modulated voice came from within the silhouette. "I have a
job
for people like you. If you perform well, you will be rewarded."
The ringleader licked his lips nervously. He was a tall man, lean,
not as
big or as broad as some people. His following had come from his
fighting
skill and his mastery of tactics. Not that strategy counted for much on
the
streets, but it sure helped. He had jet black hair, his face unshaven.
An
intimidating sight in a dark alley. But now, something had intimidated
_him_. He didn't like that.
One of his friends sidled up to him, and whispered in his ear. "Come
on,
Max, let's just go. This guy gives me the creeps."
Max waved him off. "What kind of job?"
"There is a certain target I want taken care of. He somehow manages
to
evade me. I will provide equipment to help you take care of him."
"Max, let's get out of here! You saw what he did to Kyle...."
"And the _reward_?"
"You get to keep the equipment." And then, as an afterthought, "As
well as
your lives."
At that, one of the gang panicked and ran. He got three paces when a
green
bolt hit him in the back, taking him out completely. Max kneeled by his
fallen comrade and checked his pulse. Nothing.
"So," came the voice, "do we have a deal?"
"Yeah," Max replied woodenly. "A deal." /Just as soon as you turn
your
back, man. Then you'll get what's coming to you./
"Good. Good. You are called Max, right? Well, Max. You may call
me...
Chronos."
--**************--
End Chapter 1
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CHAPTER 2 - A Dockside Story
Despite all the weird, wacky and downright dangerous stuff Ian had...
_discovered_ when his travels took him to the twisted universe from the
mind
of Douglas Adams, the one thing he was glad of, was the organism called
the
Babel fish.
It was a small leech-like creature, that fit snugly into a person's
ear.
It fed on not the brainwaves of its host, but that of those emanating
from
others. It then excreted a brainwave pattern similar to that it had
taken
in, in a form that its host could understand. The upshot of all this,
was
that Ian could understand any language spoken to him.
Sometimes Ian wondered exactly how far the thing worked. It should
have
worked only one way, and only if the person was present. But
surprisingly,
it seemed that this was one thing that was determined to go right for
him.
For not only could he understand those near him, but they automatically
understood him. Apparently, they thought he replied to them in their
native
language, which had made for some awkward encounters at times. With the
Babel fish, every spoken language had been opened for him. It was like
one
of those Linguaphone things, except without the hassle. Less expensive
too.
Of course, it didn't break all the language barriers. Reading was still
made
as much sense as ever; Japanese was just a funny set of squiggles to
him.
This somewhat _small_ limitation had in the past caused, and was
currently
causing, problems. Directions for example. Since Ian couldn't read the
various streetsigns, or decipher any sort of map, he usually took to
asking
directions from passers-by. Said passer-by had a tendency to look at
him
strangely, point at a nearby sign, and then walk off without a word.
To put it in a nutshell, it was annoying.
However, he eventually managed to find out which direction the docks
were,
where, hopefully, he'd find some sort of disused warehouse where he
could
spend the night. If some deranged plot-making mad scientist hadn't
decided
to use it as his base first.
He also managed to figure out a few things of where he was. As always
seemed to be the case in these futuristic cities where most of the
social
interaction had disappeared, at least, any social interaction not found
indoors (pubs, nightclubs, motels, etc.), he'd found a newspaper in the
side
of the road. With help from it and a Japanese dictionary he'd picked up
a
few months ago, he discovered the date. Or at least the year. 2032.
Somehow, he'd have thought that things wouldn't have changed as much as
they
already have. However, it _did_ confirm his worst fear.
/Yep, this is Manga, alright. Nothing else would have Japanese as
native,
and a futuristic city called MegaTokyo. Which, of course, means...
first
portal I see, I'm outta here!/
So