This is actually a continuation to the fic "Blue Hot."  Don't worry, no sex
in this one.  But if you don't like m/m relationships, then don't read it if
you think that you may get offended.  Constructive C & C are welcome.  Have
fun reading.

-Shuuichi Minamino
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IN TOO DEEP

	His soft black hair is blown back by the wind, his golden eyes alert and
impassive as usual.  He walks in fast strides, I often have to run a little
to catch up with him.  He is about my height now.  Soon, he'll probably be
taller than I am since I will not be growing anymore and will stay the way I
am until I die.  

	He never admits anything.  He does things on the spur of moment; he loses
his temper very easily; he is cruel; he is rough; he kills without any
traces of remorse; his mouth is full of insults and curse words...but I love
him nevertheless. I am not very sure about him though.  I know he gave up
his profession as an assassin because of me, but then it seems that even he
doesn't know what he was doing.

	That stormy night at the hotspring...did he do it on a whim?  He was like
the storm outside, both intense and passionate.  His embrace was both gentle
and wild, and his touch lited me on fire.  I have admitted my feelings to
him and he has echoed my words.  But...did he say that also on a whim?
Things have gone on as it has always been after that night.  He hasn't
treated me any differently.  He refuses to be near me, he won't even take my
hand.  He still speaks with that cold tone of voice.  

	I am lost.  I am confused by him.  Sometimes it really seems that he does
love me but sometimes it seems not.  I think even he is confused by himself.
I sigh to myself as I walk next to him.  I didn't know that it is this hard.
I have no idea that it is this hard to love somebody, especially someone who
has never love anyone before, someone who has spent most of his life killing
others.

	I know that I am in too deep.  Too deep to pull myself out of the mess that
I am in.  How can anybody in the world fall in love with somebody that tries
to kill him?  How can anybody?  Sometimes I think that there must be
something wrong with me.  I seem to be attracted to things that will put me
in danger.  But then I have no one to blame but myself.  I should have had
more sense than to love someone like that.

	I sneak another look at him.  He looks at me out of the corner of his eye
and looks back toward to what is in front of him.  This is getting very
frustrating.  Why won't he say something?  I am really getting tired of
this, of this endless mind game.  It seems like now I am the hunter and I am
trying to hunt down his heart.  Except I am not doing a very good job.  I
refuse to believe that he has done what he had done that night on a whim.  I
am stubborn and I have this way of making myself believe the best of
everything.  Now, my stubborness is making me sink deeper and deeper.  I
feel like such a fool.

	I am angry at myself, for my foolishness and stubborness.  Why can't I just
give it up and leave?  One says that youkais have no feelings, maybe that is
true with some youkais but not with me.  I know that I am human at heart.
If I was born as a youkai, maybe things would have been easier on me.

	We reach another village, it seems to be all right from the outside.  We
walk in, expecting to find other youkais going about their usual business.
Instead, we sense an atmosphere of fear as soon as we entered.  Something is
wrong in this place.  The denizens of the village look at us with wondering
eyes as we walk down the main street. I sense youki, and I sense its desire
to kill.  I am right, there is a youkai threatening this place.  The youki
is gone for now but whoever it is will return.  I am sure.

	"How much?" I can hear him ask.  Money, that has been the way we have
managed to earn our 'income.'  It is not the funnest thing to do in the
world, killing other youkais for money.  It is not any different from being
an assasin, except that both he and I have made a deal that we only kill
those who is a threat to others.

	"No," he says vehemently. "I'm not going to do it if that's how much I am
getting paid for it."

	"But..." the girl he is talking with tries to reason with him.  I can tell
that she is very desparate. "please, please help us.  With the rate this is
going, all the girls will be eaten and ..."

	"So you are afraid that you'll be next?" He asks coldly.

	I can see that sadistic side of him appearing again.  Is that all he can
think about?  Money?!  I approach the two, planning on talking some sense
into him.  But before I can do so, the said youkai makes its appearance
behind him, ready to strike.

	"Yukon!!" I scream at him, warning at him.  Seeing that it will be too late
by the time he turns around, I throw myself in front of him.  I can hear the
girl screaming behind me as a blow sends me toward the wall.  A sharp pain
shoots up my spine as I get thrown through the wall and land hard on my
back.  I stand up painfully just in time to see him finishing off the youkai.

	He turns around and walk toward me slowly, taking his time.  Again, his
face is impassive, his eyes cold as usual.  He doesn't care.  The
realization dawns on me.  Hurt and angry, I turn on my heels but loses my
balance in the process and fall back on to the ground.  I feel a sharp pain
on my side.  I must be suffering from internal injuries.  Then I feel a pair
of strong arms lifting me up.  It's him.  I push at his shoulders.

	"Let me down!" I say.  "I can walk just fine!"

	He looks at me silently and then put me down not so gently.  I push past
him and walk away.  I feel that sharp pain at my side again and before I can
stop it, I am coughing up blood.  Damn!  I've taken that blow intended for
him and he doesn't even care!!  Although it is not fatal, it's still very
painful.

	"Oh sir!" I hear a voice.  "You're hurt, let me take care of this."  I look
up and realize that it is the girl who has been talking to Yukon.  Her blue
eyes look at me with worry.  Those compassionate eyes, I wish that those
were Yukon's eyes 
looking at me.

	"Leave him alone," he interrupts.  "it's none of your business."

	How can he say that?!  Angrily, I ignore him and turn to the girl. "I don't
think that this is serious, I'll be fine but thank you for your offer."

	The girl blushes a little and replies, "You're welcome.  But are you sure?
You are coughing up blood and ..."

	"Yes," I reassure her. "I'm fine."

	Knowing that he will much prefer to take the money and leave, I stay in the
village as long as I can, talking and joking with everyone.  I can feel his
eyes on me whenever I am talking with a girl or a young man.  If he's
jealous, good.  Let him suffer!  I know that I am being immature, but then I
figure that he deserves it for treating me like nothing. 

	I can sense him behind me but I do not want to bother turning my head to
look at him.  I cannot bear the thought of seeing those golden eyes staring
back at me without any emotions.  I cannot take this anymore.  I guess I
should've known not to expect anything from him in return.  I give love to
him upon my will and I know that he has no obligation to return it.  Still,
it hurts.  It hurts too much.

	I refuse to believe that this is all a big mistake.  Now I am the one in
denial.  I shake my head slowly, hoping that I can clear my thoughts or even
forget about this 
whole thing.

	"Sonoma..."

	"Leave me alone."

	"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"  There he goes cursing again.

	"What's with me?" I snap at him.  "You ask me what is with me?  It's not
me, it's you!"

	"Me?"  He echoes.  "Don't you fucking blow up at me!"

	"I take my anger out on you?!" I ask him in disbelief.  "Now who is the one
who has been throwing nothing but insults at me?  Who is the one who has
been uncaring?  Who is the one who has not been willing to compromise?!!  I
think it's you we are talking about here!"

	I stop and catch my breath, the pain on my side throbs as I take a deep
breath.  I am not going to let him get away with this one.

	"So you are blaming everything on me?" He asks.  "You should've known me
better.  I don't listen to other people's commands.  And I don't give a fuck
if anybody gets pissed."

	"You..." I stammer in shock.  How can he say that?!

	"I see, you don't care.  You really do have no feelings," I reply, trying
to keep my voice level.  "You are a liar!  You take what you want and then
throw it away when you are done with it.  You are so stupid that you don't
even know how you feel.  You are a coward.  You are scare that if you ever
care, you will lose your cool.  I know now...You are nothing!  And I'll be
damned that I have been naive enough to fall for you!"

	Something must've snapped in him, for I see anger flashes across his eyes.
I can sense his fist coming even before I see the motion.  I duck sideway
and shut my eyes tight, expecting the pain coming from his blow.  There is
no way that I could've avoided that one.  When I realize that I have not
been hit, I open my eyes.  His fist has stopped in mid motion.  He looks at
me attentively, then he lowers his arm.

	"Just as I thought," he says quietly. "you do not trust me."

	What?  He sighs and turns around.  

	"I...I don't know what to say." He says.

	"What do you mean?"  I see now, he is attempting to communicate with me.
Obviously he has never done this before.  This is going to be hard...

	"Do you know how hard it is?" he says quietly. "Do you know how hard it is
to give someone something that you never have?"

	"No," I reply. "But I know how hard it is to give someone something of
great importance to you, knowing that you may never receive it."  I walk up
next to him and sit down.  I look up at him, he avoids my stare and
continues talking.

	"Well, it's tough."  He says.  "It is even tougher to admit anything.  It
is hard when you have to let others know your heart, when you've buried it
for years."

	I laugh softly. "Well, I guess I'm the idiot then," I say sadly. "I
should've known better.  Blame it on my human heritage.  I care too much."  

	Yes, I do care too much.  The more I care, the more I get hurt.  I cannot
help myself, I am sentimental, and I am not strong enough to pull myself
away from him.  I know at the time that I fall in love with him, that I am
already in too deep.

	"You know," he says suddenly. "I know that I am in too deep when I fall for
you."

	"Wh...what?" I am startled.  He has had the same thought that I have!!  I
am surprised, he never says anything so directly.  I wonder if he is saying
this to placate me.  But then he doesn't do that either.

	"I'm going to regret being so honest," he looks down, his eyes meeting
mine.  "Shit!  I hate embarassing myself."

	He put his right hand inside his pocket and pulls out something.  I take a
closer look and realize that it is an earring.  He hands it to me.
Without him saying anything, I already know that he has meant it as a gift.
I take the earring and run my fingers over it.  It's made of gold, beautiful
carvings surrounding a purple gem in the middle.  I look up and find that
the other earring is hanging on the new necklace that he is wearing.
Earrings are meant to be a pair...he has one and I have the other.  We are
one...

	"Yukon...I..." I stammer, not knowing what to say.  I am touched.  I've
never thought that Yukon would do something like this.

	"You think that everyone is like you?" he asks as he sits down next to me.
"Not everyone is as friendly or open as you are.  I thought you would know.
After all I've..."  He stops, he's blushing.  How cute!

	"You are a jerk!" I tease him as I try to recover from my shock and avoid
getting too sentimental. "Yeah, I understand what you mean."

	"Good," he answers gruffly.  "Now let's get going."

	"Where?"

	"Didn't you say before that you want to go to Ningenkai?"

	"Oh."

	"You can be so slow Sonoma!"

	"Insult me again and you will be on the ground!" I answer as I replace the
earring on my left ear with his.

	"Ch!  You wouldn't dare..."  His eyes look into mine ominously.

	I stare back at him, determine to stare him down.  We stay that way for a
few minutes, then he leans over and kisses me lightly.  When he pulls away,
I pull his face toward mine and kiss him back hard.  I open my eyes and I
find his looking into mine.  I must have startled him.  When I pull away, I
note that he is blushing again.  Interesting.

	I start to laugh.  He looks at me dumbfounded.  "What?!  What's so funny?!!"

	"Nothing!" I reply as I struggle to catch my breath.  I then add, "Yukon,
you're so cute."

	For a minute he looks like he is about to swear at me again.  But instead
he reaches out and starts to pull me along.

	"Huh?  What now?" I ask.

	"We are going to Ningenkai!"  He snaps as he continues to pull me along.

	I smile and look down at his hand.  Finally, he is holding my hand.

--------------------In Too Deep (End)------------------

	      --Shuuichi Minamino
	      ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~` 
	    *      Shuuichi Minamino / Silver Fox / Youko Kurama       *
	    * The Proud Maintainer of the Yaoi/Slash Info Mailing List *
	    *  Firm Supporter of the YYH Dynamic Duo: Kurama X Hiei    *
	    *       A Thousand-Year-Old Fox Spirit As Human            *
	    *   Innocent Student At Large in Northwestern University   *     
            *              http://www.kurama.ranma.com                 *  
	      `~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~