(3) Akane ever gets as mad as you have her. (This is a major point, you
drill it into the reader's head that Akane's anger has been getting steadily
worse. This seems to me to be rationalization in order to have her, at the
end of the fic, ready to kill Ranma and Ukyou.)

I did not ever get the impression that she was _ready_ to kill 
anyone. The impression I got was that it just sorta happened. We are 
dealing with mental illness here, after all.

It's a matter of her anger overriding every other impulse in her mind. Once
that happens, she becomes capable of homicide.

(4) Akane can so utterly fail to listen. Akane at least -tries- sometimes to
make her relationship with Ranma work... but in this story, she does
absolutely nothing but be a hair-trigger emotional psychopath. In fact, now
that I think of it, she is very OOC by the end of the 'fic, but she has to
be so she can kill Ranma.

True. Compared to Takahashi's Akane, the Akane at the end of the fic 
is OOC. But, she isn't at the beginning, and there is a logical 
progression from the beginning to the end.

Logical, but to my mind misguided. You can see it building very well, but
many of the steps are based on what are, to my mind, impossible decisions on
the parts of the characters, as those characters were represented in the source.

Try again for a 'Ranma gets Akane' fic, but this time instead of assuming
that it will be a disaster, assume that BOTH of them will work to keep it
going, bad good or indifferent.

That's been done before. Can you say, "A Lesson In Love"?

can't recall if I've read that.

And, although I can't speak for anyone else, I would not appreciate 
anyone else telling me what I should or shouldn't write about.

......

AAAAAAAAAGH!!

NOOOOOO!!!

I'M CRITIQUING LIKE MY EDITOR! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Redneck (I think I'm going to be very depressed now...)

Kris Overstreet, will write for food... | "The universe is already mad.
http://www.txdirect.net/users/redneck   | Everything else is redundant."
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