At 07:31 AM 6/04/97 -0400, gaffney@iconn.net wrote:

Now:  it's time for the 1997 contest.  The object is to create the worst
opening for an anime fanfic in the entire world.  Just an utterly evil
opening.

Let's not forget the massive X-over type fic:

[snip]

They are... The Hentai Hero Squad. And this is their story...

While we're at it:

Another day, another ten thousand dollars Bean Bandit thought as he belted
himself to the drivers seat of his custom car. He revved the engine a couple
of times, grinning at the finely tuned sound of an engine 

"Well then granny, better buckle up!" Bean Bandit said over his shoulder.

The old woman in the back seat humphed as she reached for the seatbelt.
"You have no manners, sir. Call me Miss Daisy."

Bean Bandit just shook his head in response. "Whatever." And with that,
he shifted into gear, and floored the acceleration. "For what I'm being
payed to get you out of town, I'll call you anything you want!" he
shouted gleefully as his car burst out of the parking lot, ghosting past
a couple of police cars that had been ineffectually blocking off the exit.


>From "My God, He's Actually Serious Isn't He?" Productions, coming to
the FFML about the same time hell freezes over and Pauly Shore is given
an Academy Award for Best Actor,

Driving Miss Daisy(through a police blockade)
Starring The Bean Bandit

Oh... this isn't my worst. Not by a long shot. You really don't want to
see my worst.... (You can tell I'm bored, can't you. I'd finish off the
last couple of scenes of Neko Chapter 7, but I can't write that sort of
stuff when I'm bored. Hopefully this'll kickstart me back into the right
mood.)


************  
Mark Doherty  -  mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
My fanfics are at http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher

"Kawaii must die."