Fer goodness sakes, here is the stupid fic, now don't ask for it. This is
your only chance.
Note: I didn't write it, my theory is Christian Gadeken, I can ask him, but
I like to keep the secret alive.
Ranma 1/2 - Okonomiyaki Orgy
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The goal of this story was to write a silly Ranma story that was
kinda like the TV episodes/OVAs I've seen so far being a non-
japanese speaking american. Funny, in other words, with the usual
assortments of magical items and failed plans and fiancee
conflictions.
Notice the title though. Yeah, it's got sex, a serious lemon of a
story, pun intended. That was the trick, make it have wild
screaming orgasms and STILL BE keeping with Ranmatypical. Hope it
worked, don't know if it did, but if you go for this too you'll
like it. (If anybody has the balls to do some fan art from this
and puts it on Mughi, it would make many Ranma otaku very happy.
We've seen Shampoo in the buff enough, let's see more Ukyou,
dammit! :) There's a long setup, however, bewarned; I wanted a
well structured plot too, not just mindless hentai debauchery.
Since Mega doesn't like anon people, and the Lemon List bounced
mail back saying it didn't exist anymore, I decided just to send it
to Mughi and let it distribute itself around. I would post it
under my own name but I wrote this more for fun than for
recognition. Feel free to wideband it to other Takahashi and/or
Hentai fanboys, however.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
[Scene : closing up shop at Nekohanten. Mousse is wiping down
tables as usual with an everwatchful Cologne making sure he doesn't
miss any spots. Shampoo is packing away the day's pots and pans,
and humming to herself.]
Shampoo : Hmm hm hmmm... ya pa pa... hmm hmm hmmmmm hmmmm...
So much business today! Shampoo hardly have time to see her
dear Ranma. Maybe Shampoo take day off soon and go on date
with Ranma?
[Shampoo eyes a nearby catalog, labelled 'JUSENKYO BRAND CURES,
CURSES AND MAGICAL FOODSTUFFS'. It has been well thumbed over the
years and is stained from a number of failed recipes /
experiments.]
Shampoo : Stuff on pages one to three hundred twenty two no
work on Ranma. Shampoo try all the time, and Shampoo fail.
Shampoo keep trying. One bound to work.
[She opens to page 323 and examines the first item on the page.
She picks up the phone and dials the handy 1-800 number.]
Operator : [in chinese] Hello, Jusenkyou Brand Cures, Curses
and Magical Foodstuffs. We enslave more people's brains via
chemical treatment before nine AM than most people do all day,
CIA included. How may I help you?
Shampoo : [in chinese] Hello, Macky. How's the business?
Operator : Shampoo! Glad to hear from you. How'd the Hug-Me
Noodles go over?
Shampoo : [sighing] They didn't work. Mousse ate them
accidentally and the rest was history. Off to the next item.
Do you have any... Paralysis Petunia Powder?
Operator : Nope, a Ms. Kunou bought our stock out on those.
What she wants that much power for, I don't know... she could
put half of Tokyo under with that stuff. Hey, Shampoo, want
a little advice?
Shampoo : Hmm?
Operator : Well, since I've gotten to be an expert over the
years in your little problem, lemme pick something for you.
Lesse. Still want to go the route of food additives?
Shampoo : It's what I do best.
Operator : Okay. Try this. Okonourge Ramen Sauce. Few
teaspoons of this on ordinary ramen and the victim will have
an uncontrollable urge to suck down okonomiyaki sauce.
Shampoo : I don't get it. How is that helpful?
Operator : Simple. Get this Ranma guy to eat some. He'll go
into an okonomiyaki obsessed drive. Then you go eat a bunch
of okonomiyaki.
Shampoo : And...?
Operator : He'll smell it on your breath. Smooch city. Great
for public areas or in front of that awful Akane girl you keep
mentioning. Hope you've got strong lungs or he might
suffocate you.
Shampoo : HIYA! That could work!
Operator : And hey, even if it doesn't, you've gotten a
frencher with Ranma as a side bonus. Gotta look for your
successes where they come, right? The social implications
alone are enough to get you that much closer to Ranma.
Shampoo : Macky, where would I be without you?
Operator : Let's see... you wouldn't have gone on three
hundred and twenty two plans that exploded in your face and
kept you from Ranma... you would have considerably more money
to spend... I wouldn't have been able to buy that summer house
in Tokyo--
Shampoo : I meant that rethorically. When can you get me some
of this... errr...
Operator : Okonourge Ramen Sauce? I'll ship it airmail. Wire
me twenty thousand yen for it, of course. Good ingredients
don't come cheap.
Shampoo : Hang on, let me ask great grandmother. [cups phone,
continues in chinese] Great grandmother! Can I have twenty
thousand yen to try a new love-sauce on Ranma?
Cologne : [narrowing eyes] Shampoo dear, as much as I approve
of your chosen method of winning son-in-law over, you could
send this restaurant to the poorhouse as a result. Can you
PROMISE me results this time?
[Shampoo nods in a blur.]
Cologne : [sighing] Very well. I expect some intimacy with
your husband before your caper is through, little one. Do not
fail me.
Shampoo : [uncups phone] Ship it!
Operator : Righty-o. It'll be there before you can blink.
[Shampoo hangs up. Shampoo starts to blink, but is interrupted by
a bell. She heads out to the door, where a flying girl (green
hair) floats into view, carrying a box with a cheery Jusenkyo label
on it.]
Delivery Girl : Here's your order.
Shampoo : Such good service! [rushes back inside, and pauses
as she hears a BZZZT and a groan from some bystander] Girl
seem familiar. Wonder why... Oh well!
[Shampoo unpacks the crate and begins to read the instructions.]
Shampoo : 'Add one teaspoon to bowl of ramen and have victim
eat ramen. Victim will feel no effect until scent of
okonomiyaki sauce is inhaled. Victim will have no control and
will desire only the sauce. Good for okonomiyaki chefs who
want to drive the locals out of business!' [Shampoo frowns]
Shampoo better make sure Ukyou do not get a hold of this
stuff, unless Shampoo want go bankrupt. Shampoo needs to get
okonomiyaki now... but how get without raising Ukyou
suspicion...
[Shampoo's gaze floats over to Mousse, who is arguing with Cologne
over a table stain.]
Shampoo : Oh, Mousse-kun! [bats eyelashes]
[Scene shift to Ucchan's, which is also closing up. Outside,
Mousse and Shampoo peek inside the door, watching Ukyou hum a tune
while she cleans up.]
Ukyou : Hmmm hmmm hmm... hurricane... hmmm... burning touch...
Mousse : [outside the restaurant] Alright, so if I do this,
you'll go on a date with me?
Shampoo : Of course! Shampoo keep word. [is crossing fingers
behind her back.] Now go!
[Mousse nods, takes a few deep breaths, and charges into Ucchan's.
He skids to a halt, and points frantically to the door.]
Mousse : Ukyou! Thank heavens I've found you! Akane's
serving dinner over at the Tendos, and the casualties are
already piling up! Ranma's next!
Ukyou : [making a little piku-piku blink noise] What?
Thats... thats... inhumane! I've got to save Ran-chan!!
[Ukyou grabs her Big-Ass Spatula off the wall and charges out of
the store, missing Shampoo completely. Shampoo flashes Mousse a
thumbs up, and Mousse darts into the kitchen. He does a quick
search of the place, using his hidden weapons knowledge to find
Ukyou's sacred okonomiyaki recipe.]
[Mousse pulls an Apple Newton out of his sleeve and quickly
scribbles it down. He hides the Newton and puts the room back as
he found it, slipping out of the restaurant soundlessly.]
Shampoo : Did Mousse get recipe? Huh?
Mousse : [producing Newton with a flourish] Ta-da! Well, my
lovely Shampoo, shall we go out on that da--
[Shampoo snatches the Newton and knocks Mousse into the sky.]
Shampoo : Silly Mousse. [she keys up the file, grins evilly
and hops on her bike, laying rubber on her way back home.]
[Ukyou peeks around the side of the building, having heard
everything that was going on. She watches the tiny white dot soar
into the sky, calculates where he's going to land according to
newton's laws and sets off on foot.]
[Scene : Nekohanten, where Shampoo is happily cooking up a few
bowls of ramen and some okonomiyakis, plus small containers of
sauce. She is taking no chances, and stocking up on as much
okonomiyaki as she can. Cologne pogo-sticks in, observing the
piles and piles of flat delicacies.]
Cologne : Attempting to corner the market, little one?
Shampoo : All part of Shampoo's 'Win Ranma Heart' Plan, great
grandmother!
Cologne : Interesting. Have you seen Mousse? He left the
tables unfinished.
Shampoo : Shampoo no care where Mousse is. Shampoo must cook
for Ranma.
Cologne : Very well, you do that. [Cologne pogos off to the
back room.] [muttering] Rather one track minded, that girl.
Well, if it gets me a son in law, so be it.
[Scene : a random part of Tokyo, where Mousse has crashed down and
now has a sizeable lump on his head. Ukyou is interrogating him
while applying a bandage.]
Ukyou : So you don't know why she wanted my okonomiyaki
recipe?
Mousse : Not really. She just said she'd go on a date with me
if I got it for her. Ah, how I would have loved that...
Ukyou : What, you're not angry?
Mousse : She touched me. Well, okay, it was a punch, but
contact nonetheless. I treasure those moments.
Ukyou : You're hopeless, Mousse. [smiles. The smile fades]
Uh-oh. Do you think she's planning another scheme to get my
Ran-chan?
Mousse : Could be. I think she was calling those magic guys
again today, ordering stuff.
Ukyou : What's the number for them?
Mousse : [producing a thick phonebook from nowhere] It's in
the book. Look under Jusenkyo. I... errggh... [thunk,
collapses into the familiar pinky and index finger bent
position]
Ukyou : Looks like she hit you harder than she thought. Might
as well check this lead out, though... [leaves Mousse
collapsed on the sidewalk and approaches a payphone. She
dials 1-800-COLLECT and connects.]
Operator : [in chinese] Hello, Jusenkyou Brand Cures, Curses
and Magical Foodstuffs. Quality mood enhancement snack foods
for your yen. How may I help you?
Ukyou : [in japanese] Nani?
Operator : [in japanese] Oh, a foriegn customer. How may I
help you?
Ukyou : What products do you have relating to okonomiyaki?
Operator : Just Okonourge Ramen Sauce. Anybody eating it has
an unquenchable thirst for okonomiyaki sauce. Can be used
creatively for unusual results. Would you like to place an
order?
[Ukyou hangs up on the operator, glowing blue with anger.]
Ukyou : So THAT'S her plan. Hmmmmmmmm. Two can play this
came... creative uses indeed...
[She turns around and notices Mousse, still half dead. She
shrugs.]
Ukyou : First thing's first, though. [She pulls out the Big-
Ass Spatula and scoops Mousse up, heading for the nearest
hospital.]
[Eyecatch sequence.]
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
COMMERICAL BREAK
Announcer : [smooth, Barry White voice] Hey. You're an
Otaku, and you know it. Let loose your inhibitions, and slip
into the warmth and steamy seduction of... 1-900-4XKO. Talk
live with our girls for five thousand yen a minute. You could
talk to...
[Shot of B-Ko coming out of her family pool, with carefully placed
boxes of Fruit Loops on kite string to avoid violating japanese
censorship laws]
Announcer : ...the sultry B-Ko, who will fill your nights with
pleasure and your days with constant repair work on her robot
collection.
[Shot of B-Ko with a whip overseeing some poor sop working on a
large mecha with a wrench. He is not happy.]
Announcer : Or for the masochist in you, talk to A-Ko, who
will play a more demanding role. Nothing like having a love-
toy partner that can crush dumptrucks with a single hand.
[Shot of A-ko dragging the previously shown sop through Galaxy City
at the speed of sound while the sop bounces off buildings. He
looks quite scared.]
Announcer : For the true pain fetishist in you... we also
present...
C-KO : HIEEEEEE!!
Announcer : Recommended only for those with death wishes or
terminal stupidity.
[Shot of C-Ko squeezing the tar out of the sop, who looks more
frightened than he had ever been before. He's waving a small sign
that reads 'help me' and rapidly turning blue.]
Announcer : 1-900-4XKO. Because sometimes you just wanna be
hurt badly by the one you love.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
[Scene : Nekohanten, the next day. Cologne is putting up a CLOSED
sign on the door, and drawing the shades.]
Cologne : Great granddaughter, are you sure this is required?
Closing the store for an entire day seems drastic.
Shampoo : Shampoo promised you results, Shampoo getting you
results. Burp. [politely muffles the burp, and continues
into her third okonomiyaki.] Shampoo send letter to Ranma,
Ranma coming today for SPECIAL lunch. Great grandmother will
let us eat alone, yes?
Cologne : If you insist. I shall return in one hour's time,
little one. I'll be looking at the mall for an engagement
ring... a pair, that is. [pogos off.]
[Cologne pogos by an unsuspecting Ranma, who is walking along
whistling a tune.]
Ranma : Fwee fweee fweee... electric youth... fweee.. eh?
Cologne : Greetings, son-in-law. Coming by for a special
lunch?
Ranma : I am NOT your son-in-law, old ghoul. [defensive]
Cologne : [grinning evilly] Enjoy your lunch. [pogos off]
[Ranma shrugs off the creeping horrors and enters, noticing the
drawn blinds with worry. She ignores the impending note of doom,
the lightning flashing behind him and all other negative signs and
shuts the door.]
Shampoo : [looking up from her fifth okonomiyaki] Ranma!
Naiho! [pounce-hugs him]
Ranma : Yaaa! Leggo! [squirms]
Shampoo : [drops Ranma's head, which whacks against the floor]
Ranma right. Eat first. Rest for later.
Ranma : You're lucky I managed to escape. Akane was making
lunch. Is that the special lunch you mentioned? [points to
the pile of okonomiyaki on the table by the door]
Shampoo : NO! Ranma meal here. Eat up. [shoves one of the
bowls of ramen under his nose.]
Ranma : [sniffs the noodles] What's so special about it?
Shampoo : Shampoo cook specially for you! Not special enough?
Ranma : Well, I never could pass up a free meal.
[He starts into it, and after shovelling the spoonful with the
tainted lunch on it, Shampoo grins evilly.]
Shampoo : Now make smoochy-smoochy! [breathes heavily on
Ranma's face.]
Ranma : [frowning, and waving in the air] Man, Shampoo,
you've gotta start using mouthwash. You... errr...
[Shot : Ranma's POV, his focus slipping in and out, trying to
fixate itself on Shampoo's face. It eventually snaps into sharp
relief.]
Ranma : Yum. [shifts his gaze downwards to Shampoo's mouth,
licks his lips and dives for it, knocking the two backwards
onto a fouton Shampoo had moved there just for the occasion.]
[Shampoo's arms wave around as Ranma practically crushes her
against the floor in an effort to suck all the sauce-taste from her
mouth.]
[Rumiko Takahashi pops onto screen, waving one of Genma's signs.]
Sign : From here on out, I take NO responsibility for the
hentai loon that's writing this.
[After the sign is pulled off screen, Shampoo is murfling and
gasping under Ranma.]
Shampoo : Ranma... [ack] Let go minute... [wheeze] Shampoo
need breathe!
[Shampoo manages to push Ranma away to arm's length with
considerable effort.]
Shampoo : Ranma love Shampoo?
Ranma : Yum!
Shampoo : Shampoo so HAPPY! [She lets go and Ranma flops back
down, acting like the human suction pump again. Shampoo
begins to unbutton her dress whenever Ranma lets up, and
eventually has the top completely undone.] Ranma, sniff...
down there.
[Ranma pauses in his mindless vacuum action, and sniffs Shampoo's
nipples. He smells something familiar.]
Ranma : Yum. [pounces on one, sucking away. Shampoo's eyes
bug out.]
Shampoo : It good idea to coat chest in sauce, but Shampoo
have no idea Ranma be so enthusiastic!
Ranma : [looking up quizically] Yum?
Shampoo : No, Ranma continue.
[Ranma nods and returns to sucking Shampoo's nipple, slurping all
over her right breast. Shampoo lays back and relaxes, enjoying
finally being intimate with Ranma.]
Shampoo : Too bad Shampoo no figure out how to get Ranma to do
more than this. Shampoo not disappointed, still. Other
breast now, Ranma. Good boy.
Ranma : Yum. [attacks the other breast.]
[Shampoo takes the opportunity to reach down and feel for Ranma's
pants. She works a hand inside, and gropes around.]
Ranma : Yum? [confused]
Shampoo : Ranma just enjoy. [smiles evilly, grabbing Ranma
inside his trousers. Ranma freaks, grins, then dives at her
nipples with renewed vigor.] Wow, Ranma LONG. Wonder how
Ranma taste...
[Suddenly, there is a WHAM WHAM WHAM at the door. Shampoo panics,
grabs Ranma and stuffs him under the okonomiyaki table where she
had slipped a bait okonomiyaki for just such a problem. She tries
to ignore the slurping noises under the table as Ranma licks it
clean, and buttons up her shirt.]
Shampoo : We closed! Go away! [she calls out, standing in
front of the okonomiyaki table, which is visibly shaking. A
few plop off the table and land on the chairs.]
Ukyou : Open up in there! I know what you're trying to do,
Shampoo!
Shampoo : Ukyou go away! Nekohanten closed--
[A huge spatula blade jams itself into the door crack, prying it
open. Sunlight streams in, shiloutetting the enraged form of
Ukyou.]
Ukyou : Alright, little miss drugged food, you're not going to
get away with this.
Shampoo : With what? [strikes an innocent pose.]
Ukyou : What's with the stains on your shirt? [points an
accusing finger]
Shampoo : Shampoo messy eater. Now Ukyou go away and leave
Shampoo in peace!
[Ranma, half crazed, peeks out from under the main okonomiyaki
table. He has finished licking one okonomiyaki clean, sauce all
over his mouth, and is looking for his other source.]
Ranma : YUM! [jumps Shampoo, pulling her shirt open and
ripping the buttons to bits. He reattaches himself and plays
milking machine.]
Ukyou : [gasps] Ran-chan...
Ranma : [looks up] Yum?
Ukyou : [turns a steely gaze to Shampoo] How DARE you enchant
Ran-chan like that to be your little okonomiyaki love slave
when he belongs to ME?
Shampoo : [looking smug] Ranma, who you want more, Shampoo
who smell nice or not-nice Ukyou?
[Ranma looks up and between the two girls, turns back to Shampoo's
breasts and continues slurping them around the nipples.]
Shampoo : Shampoo thought so... ah... that feel GOOD, Ranma.
Ukyou go away, Ranma like Shampoo better.
Ukyou : I didn't want to have to do this, but TWO can play at
this game. Oh, Ran-chan?
Ranma : Yum? [looks up, spit and sauce dripping from his
lips]
[Ukyou unties the sash on her usual garment, and within six seconds
she's completely naked, save the spatula bandolier and Big-Ass on
her back. Ranma's eyes fix on her crotch, which is dripping for
some reason.]
Ukyou : Okonomiyaki sauce. LOTS. Eat up, Ran-chan. [She
sits down on one of the chairs that doesn't have an
okonomiyaki on it. Ranma leaps off Shampoo and clamps down on
Ukyou's crotch, tounge working itself around the folds of her
genitals wildly in search of sauce.]
Shampoo : HEY!
Ukyou : All's fair in love and cooking, Shampoo... ah...
OOOOH, Ran-chan, that's so GOOD...
[Ukyou's head rolls back as Ranma works magic on her bit that
you're not allowed to see in japan. Shampoo is still lying down,
looking rather hurt.]
Shampoo : Ranma MINE! [She crawls over to the kneeling Ranma,
and pulls his pants completely down]
Ukyou : Ahaah... aah... hey, Shampoo, what do you think you're
do... rrrrgh...
[Shampoo slides under Ranma like she's slipping under a truck to
repair it, and grabs Ranma's penis. She tries a few experimental
licks, and begins to give him the same treatment he gave her
earlier.]
Ranma : Mmmphhg! [muffled in Ukyou's crotch]
Ukyou : Get away from him, you chinese bimb... rrgrh... Ran-
chan, that's OOOH! OOOOOOHHH!
[Ranma, encourages by Shampoo's efforts, redoubles his speed at
eating out Ukyou's saucy one. Ukyou's head rolls back and her
chest pushes up and down, back arching against the chair. Thoughts
of beating the tar out of Shampoo are lost in her own pleasure.
Shampoo manages to work her pants off with a free hand to massage
herself.]
Ukyou : Ran-chan! Ran-chan! AAHHH!
[Shampoo's head is sliding along Ranma's shaft, trying to bring him
off. It works... Ranma stiffens up and Shampoo starts gulping.
Ranma practically has his entire face int Ukyou's muff when she
comes as well, sauce of all kinds running out.]
Ukyou : Aaaaahhhh! [collapses in the chair, exhausted. Ranma
plops down, fast asleep from the effort. Shampoo carefully
works her way out from under him, not as tired.]
Shampoo : Phew. Ranma practically like firehose. Wake up,
Ranma! Shampoo want more! Husband not have much stamina for
martial artist.
Ukyou : [recovering slightly] Oh no you don't... Ran-chan is
MINE. He got to know ME carnally first. His first girl.
Shampoo : SHAMPOO got to know him first. Nyah.
Ukyou : Mine! [Grabs Ranma's limp form and hugs it close to
her chest.]
Shampoo : MINE! [Grabs one of Ranma's arms and pulls. The
tug of war errupts between the two sweaty girls, with a dazed
Ranma wondering why he's being torn in half. Ukyou eventually
loses her grip, but so does Shampoo and Ranma flops onto the
stained cot, snoozing peacefully.]
Ukyou : Whoever's left standing when he wakes up gets him next
and forever! [pulls out the huge spatula she still has
strapped to her back and readys it. Shampoo looks around for
her maces, but they're nowhere to be found.]
Shampoo : No fair! Shampoo not armed!
Ukyou : So poison me! EN GARDE!
[Shampoo dives backwards to avoid two wide swipes with the spatula,
as Ukyou, angry and buck naked stomps forward to slug it out.
Shampoo ducks a third swing and tries to escape by crawling behind
Ukyou.]
Ukyou : Oh no you don't...
[Ukyou twists around and sits on Shampoo's back, pinning her to the
restaurant floor. She whips the spatula up in the air and smacks
it down hard on Shampoo's exposed rear.]
Shampoo : OW!
Ukyou : You deserve a spanking for doing that to Ran-chan!
[whacks again]
[Ukyou gets in one more whack, with Shampoo groping around for
table legs to pull herself away. Ukyou raises up for a really huge
spanking, but accidentally lifts weight off Shampoo in the process,
who scrambles away, sending Ukyou tumbling.]
Ukyou : Whoa!
[Ukyou rolls to a halt on one side of the restaurant, while Shampoo
careens wildly in an attempt to regain her balance towards the back
of the restaurant. She inevitably plows headfirst into the table
where she was keeping ramen bowls, face planted in some noodles.]
Ukyou : [cracking a smile] Hee hee. You look RIDICULOUS.
HAHA.. err... why are you looking at me like that?
[Shampoo has gotten her heat out of the bowl, and is slurping up a
few excess noodles. She picks some out of her purple hair, and
sniffs the air. Her gaze locks on Ukyou.]
Ukyou : Cripes.
[Shampoo springs like a puma, diving across the ten foot reach in
less than a second. Before Ukyou can react, she's latched onto
Ukyou's pussy better than The Club(tm) and is trying to suck the
remaining sauce out of it.]
Ukyou : EEEP! Hey! Get off! Pervert girl!
[Ukyou tries to pry Shampoo off with a spatula, but Shampoo's
amazon roots aren't going to let her lose a good hunted meal
without a fight. Shampoo reaches around and grabs each of Ukyou's
rear cheeks for support, mashing her face into Ukyou's neither
regions.]
Ukyou : Aaahhhn... aahh... leggo... go away... aahahhhhh...
[Ukyou's grip on the spatula weakens, as pleasure erases her anger.
She drops the spatula, eyes closed.]
Shampoo : Yum!
Ukyou : Errghgh... Shampoo...
Shampoo : Yum? [looks up, face dripping]
Ukyou : Don't stop now! [reaches down and pushes Shampoo's
face back where it belongs. Shampoo licks away, under the
influence of the ramen she crashed into, ignoring the source
and digging away for the sauce. Ukyou's head beats against
the wall she's pushed against, her senses reeling.] OOOHHHH!
Don't stop, Shampoo! OOOHHHHHHH...
[Meanwhile, Ranma has pulled himself to sitting position, dazed.
He sniffs the air, trying to seperate the various smells, looking
for the one he still craved. He turns a sluggish head over to the
two girls, entwined as one.]
Ranma : Mppmh. Yum. YUM. [lopes over to the girls, and
tries to push Shampoo away from his okonomiyaki pot]
Ukyou : Hey... ugh... wait your turn... you can't BOTH eat
me...
[Ranma dives into the fray, getting a tounge in whenever possible.
He and Shampoo bonk heads a number of times, driven by the
okonourge. Ukyou lounges back and revels in it.]
Ukyou : Oh, Ran-chan... Sham-chan... I... aaahhh!
[Ukyou shudders in orgasm, and Ranma and Shampoo push each other
out of the way, trying to lap it all up. The three are in bliss,
slumped against the wall and spent.]
Ukyou : Ah, you two...
Ranma : Yum. Um. U. Ucchan? [eyes unglaze]
Ukyou : I take it the ramen's wearing off? [note of fear
creeping into her voice]
Ranma : I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
Shampoo : Oooh. Shampoo no feel good either. [wipes excess
sauce from her mouth]
Ranma : Did I just do what I think I did? Multiple times?
Ukyou : Yup. [brushes Ranma's hair] Do you hate us now?
Ranma : Surprisingly, no. I liked it. Yum. [joking]
Shampoo : Shampoo happy too. Shampoo no knew Ukyou could be
so... not know good japanese word for it. Yum.
Ukyou : Neither did I. What an afternoon! I don't think any
of us are going to be the same again...
Shampoo : Ucchan right.
Ranma : I don't know, somehow, I feel as if something's
missing...
[Akane enters through the wrecked door. (ed. note -- you KNEW this
would happen eventually)]
Akane : Alright, what's going on in here... Ranma, you're not
going to run out on another one of my specially cooked
meaAAALLLRGHHHH!!
[Akane's eyes quadruple at the okonomiyaki orgy (yes, we HAVE a
title!) before her. She gapes, not quite sure how to react to it.]
Ukyou : Hi, Akane... [a little spaced from constant orgasms]
What's up?
Ranma : [turning his head to look at Akane] Oh no!
Shampoo : Yaaah!
[The two try to hide behind Ukyou. They are not stupid.]
Akane : Ranma... Shampoo... Ukyou... wha... [her eyes go back
to normal, but she's still stunned.]
Ukyou : It's a long story. [pats Shampoo and Ranma on the
head.]
[Akane stumbles backwards, plopping down skirt first on the nearest
chair, which makes a squelching noise. She yeeps and hops up,
noticing the okonomiyaki she just sat on.]
Akane : Hey, that was my best skirt! My best underwear!
[Shampoo and Ranma perk up, smelling the air. The lock targets on
Akane, who's rubbing her messy rear end.]
Ranma : Hmm. Yum.
[Shampoo just grins evilly.]
Ukyou : Oh dear. [Settles back and smiles, awaiting the
onslaught.]
[Outside, Cologne observes the mayhem indoors through a crack in
the store's venetian blinds. She looks down at her shopping bag.]
Cologne : I have a bad feeling I'll be needing more than two
rings. Blast these children and thier modern relationships.
Just like that silly ESPer and his two girls...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
THE END
By Order of the Good Taste in Anime Department, No Pun Intended
All characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi
and definitely NOT used with permission.
Before you flame, realize this was meant
for entertainment value only.
Plus, if you decided to read _this_ far, why are you complaining?
:)