Scene 18

(The control room of Lum's UFO.)
(Lum is propped up in her cockpit chair, with Jariten in orbit. Oyuki is by
the console with Ataru and Shinobu.)
Oyuki: Alright now, you understand what to do now?
Shinobu: Yes, I think so.
Ataru: Yes, I've got it!  
Oyuki: Good! Now, please excuse my rudeness.  
(She starts to leave.) 
Oyuki: I must leave now.  
Lum: Oyuki!
Shinobu & Ataru: What? Why? Aren't you gonna help Lum?
Oyuki: Well, I already have helped Lum. You will help her now, right?
 (They nod.)
(Oyuki looks at Lum.) 
Oyuki: Lum, I am going to the duelling place. I want to chat with Ran about
some insignificant things.
Shinobu: (missed the message) Oyuki, don't let us keep you from going to see
a friend! I'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about!
Lum: (got the message) Do you have to, Oyuki?
Oyuki: I feel I must do so.  
Lum: Well, alright, then. Do what you feel is right.
Oyuki: Thank you, Lum, for your kindness and understanding. Have a good
evening.  
(She leaves.)
All: Good night, Oyuki! Thanks for your help!
Shinobu: Okay, Ataru. Are you ready?
Ataru: Yes!
Shinobu: Lum, do you feel well enough to do this?  
(Lum nods vigorously.) 
Shinobu: Right. Shall we do it, Ataru?
Ataru: Yeah. (hand count) Stand by Lum, you're on in ten, nine-

						Scene 19

(Back to the duel.)
(Asuka and Benten have just come out of a brief time-out. Both are looking
the worse for wear, and their level of performance has decreased. However,
they are determined to settle it right now!)
(Asuka and Benten explode into a final effort. They are headed for a double
knockout...)
(However, just as they are about to knock each other into oblivion, the
big-screen TVs on each wall lose their pictures of the duel and instead show
Lum in enormous closeup!)
Lum: (indignant)STOP IT!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!
(The duelists fall down in surprise, while the crowd is reduced to shocked,
deafened silence!)
Benten: Lum? What the-
Asuka: Big sister Lum...
Lum: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? WHY ARE YOU KILLING EACH OTHER?!? IT IS STUPID
TRYING TO DETERMINE THE RIGHT AND WRONG HERE! YOU ARE BOTH WRONG!!!
(Pause while Lum catches her breath.) 
Lum: Benten! Worrying about your bike like it was the only important thing
in your life! Asuka! Lashing out at people without thinking of the
consequences! And such stiff necks!  Not as stiff as mine right now, but
still! Look at you two. (Making an emotional appeal) Benten, you are my
dearest friend in the whole universe. Asuka, you are a like a sister to me.
I love both of you so very much, and I-I just can't bear the thought of you
fighting. Fighting because of me... (Weeps) I-It hurts me worse than m-my
own clumsiness...
(The guilt at ringside is so thick you could cut it with a knife.)
Benten: Lum... (ashamed) Hell, Lum, this isn't your fault...
Asuka: (in tears) Yes big sister Lum, we never meant to involve you!
Lum: I-I know, but I... I want to apologize to you.
Benten & Asuka: (surprised) To us!?!
Lum: Yes. It was my clumsiness and failure to act promptly that caused this
duel. I... I have no excuse. Please forgive me.
Benten: (shakes head) No way, Lum! You have nothing to apologize for!
(pause) We should be apologizing to you.
Asuka: (weeping) Yes, big sister Lum! It is we that have no excuse! I am so
sorry!!
Benten: We're both sorry!
Lum: (wipes eyes) Thank you very much. You make me feel much better. Now
apologize to each other, and stop this stupid duel. My friends shouldn't
hate each other!
(Asuka and Benten turn to look at each other for a long while.)
(Ran chooses this moment to butt in.)
Ran: (to Lum, with fangs) Lum!! You can't stop this duel! These girls
deserve the chance to settle their differences! It is their right!
(petulant) Besides, it'll ruin the show!
(Lum's grief turns to anger.)
Lum: Ran!! You-you-!!
(Ataru and Ten try to calm the seething Lum. Shinobu steps up to pinch-hit
for Lum.)
Shinobu: (angry) Shame on you, Ran! Letting Asuka and one of your oldest
friends injure each other to no end! It's not a show! It's sick!!  
(The guilt is now spreading to the audience.) 
Shinobu: How could you let this happen?!?
Ran: (outraged entrepreneur) Easily! Do you know how much business these two
have been able to do?!?! Come on! They've been able to settle their problem
and create the biggest night in sports this decade! They haven't done any
damage to the town, either!
Shinobu: (Sadly) Yes, they've only damaged each other.
Benten: (frowning) So Ran, you wanted me to get damaged, eh?!?
Ran: (supercute) N'kya! Ran only wants to help her dear friends get what
they want, right?!?
Lum: (back on-screen) Ran! Oyuki is on her way over there right now!
(threatening) If you don't stop this duel, she will!
(Ran can almost feel the cold, and shivers.) 
Ran: Umm, well, ah, I see... (undertone) Dammit! Why'd Lum have to get Oyuki
involved?!?
(Ran quickly turns to the audience, and dramatically lifts the microphone.) 
Ran: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, the contest has ended due to mutual consent
of the fighters. Now we have a decision. The contest is a draw!  
(Ryunosuke quickly lifts both Asuka and Benten's arms.) 
Ran: What a terrific performance! Thank you very much, ladies! Goodnight!! 
(Ran quickly exits the ring amid polite applause. Ryu strolls after her,
looking pleased.)
Benten: You know, Asuka, Ran is right.
Asuka: What?
Benten: We have the right to settle our problem, once and for all.
Asuka: Miss Benten, do you mean...
Benten: I think we should settle it right now. (deep breath) Asuka, I
apologize for calling you a bimbo, and I also apologize for accusing you of
deliberately hurting Lum.
Asuka: (moved) Miss Benten... Please forgive me! I really did not mean to
break your bike upon that Moroboshi. I apologize for striking you.
Benten: Hey, no problem. Will you forgive me?
Asuka: (spreading arms) Yes! I do!
(Asuka steps to Benten and they embrace. Enthusiastic applause and cheers
from the crowd. There's not a dry eye in the house!)
(On the UFO, Ataru, Lum, and Shinobu share a victory hug while Ten does
loops around them.)
(Asuka and Benten break their embrace and step out of the ring. They pass
through the (now harmless) automated weapons.)
Benten: Y'know, Asuka, I was really impressed by your ability. You have the
makings of a first-rate scrapper!
Asuka: (quick bow) Thank you big sister, but I only know a few things I
picked up around the house. You are a much better warrior.
Benten: I know a way to improve your skill!  
Asuka: Really?
Benten: Yeah!  It's a small summer camp that runs every August. I help out
there all the time. You can learn fencing, missileering, space combat, all
sorts of fun stuff! Why don't you come? It'll be a real blast!
Asuka: (shining eyes) Thank you for inviting me, big sister! It would mean
everything to me if I could go to your camp. Just one thing though. Are...
Are there any men there?
Benten: Naw! This is an Amazon camp! No guys allowed, and Moroboshi hasn't a
clue to its existence!
Asuka: (overjoyed) Oh, how wonderful! I will ask Honorable Mother right
away! It will be marvelous, I just know it!
Benten: Yes it will be! It'll be a lot of hard work, too, but I don't think
that'll be a problem. As the old Amazon saying goes, "No defeat, only
victory".  
(She halts, puzzled.) 
Benten: That's funny.
Asuka: (Halting too) What is it?
Benten: That saying, it was part of a message that someone gave to me before
the duel. It was a code of some sort.
Asuka: Really? Someone offering their assistance? How kind of them! Who was it?
Benten: I don't know. It was given to me by a ninja-type person.
Asuka: Really? Elder brother Mendo's family has some people like that.
Benten: He did look like one of theirs... (blink) Could it be-?! 
Asuka: What is it?
Benten: Get down!  
(Benten dives to the ground, pulling Asuka with her.)
(Two seconds later the building implodes!)
(Pan up to the sky, where a Mendo Huey beats its way across the sky. Ryooko
looks out of the 'copter's crew space, accompanied by puppeteers.)
Ryooko: I hope Lady Benten appreciated that assistance.

						Scene 20

(Ataru's room, a day or two later.)
(Lum, still bandaged but looking vastly improved, is sitting on the floor,
supported by some pillows. Ataru is nearby, acting indifferent while
remaining aware of Lum's condition.Ten is hanging about as usual.)
(Lum shows Ataru a picture in a magazine.)
Lum: Darling, what do you think about this?
Ataru: It's alright, I guess.  
(Ten floats up behind Ataru.)
Ten: It looks great, Lum!
Ataru: Hah!! A lot you know!
Ten: More than you about it, blockhead!
(Ataru reaches for the frying pan.)
Ataru: Oh yeah?
Ten: Yeah!
Lum : (heading off quarrel) Now, now, Ten! Darling really does know a lot
about them. Right, Darling?  
Ataru: (relaxing) That's right!!
(Ten sulks away.) 	
Lum: Darling, you have been so kind to me recently.
Ataru: (deliberately uncaring) Don't get too emotional about it. I did what
any other man would do, given the situation.
(Lum touches Ataru on the shoulder.)
Lum: (shining eyes) You're not any man, Darling. You're my man, who treats
me kindly, like his beloved... 
Ataru: Oh boy, here comes the wedding pitch again!
Lum: (hurt) But Darling, didn't you prove you could take care of me? Didn't
you love me that much? Didn't you like it?
Ataru: (hesitant) Well, I don't know... 
(Lum loosely hugs him.) 
Ataru: I guess I did, a little... 
(He looks at her.) 
Ataru: I should start looking out for you. You get into too much trouble!  
(They laugh softly, then begin to kiss...)
(Something heavy lands on the porch outside, disrupting the romantic mood.)
(Ten turns to look out the sliding door.)
Ten: (happy) Big sister Benten!  
(He starts towards door. It can be heard opening.)  
Ten: Big sister Benten, how ya do-
Ataru: Miss Benten?  
(Ataru leaps up, letting go of Lum, who slides back onto the pillows. He
charges off-screen towards the porch, sending Ten spinning in place!)
Ataru: Miss Benten, I'm glad you're here! How's my favorite-
Asuka: (off-screen) EE-EEK!! A MAN!!  
(Ataru comes flying back on-screen, impacting into the opposite wall!)
Lum: (looking at ceiling) Darling you idiot.
Asuka: (offscreen) Oops, I forgot again!
Benten: (entering) It's alright, it was only Moroboshi. Hi, Lum! (pats Ten)
Hey, tiger! 
(Ten beams.)
Lum: (brightening) Benten! Asuka! How nice of you to visit!
Asuka: (entering) Good afternoon, big sister Lum! How are you?
Lum: I'm feeling much better, thank you!
Benten: You've improved a lot, Lum. How've ya done that?
Lum: (fondly) Oh, I've had a lot of loving care?
Benten: Really? From who?
Lum: Darling©
Asuka & Benten: (utter disbelief) No!!
Lum: (nods) Yes! Darling has spoiled me dreadfully! I wouldn't be able to
live without his attention!  
(Ataru falls out of the wall and onto the floor. He twitches like a dying
cockroach in protest at this disclosure.) 
Lum: Anyway, what brings the two of you here together?
(Benten and Asuka seat themselves next to Lum. Benten sits cross-legged,
while Asuka manages to sit tuck-legged in plate armor.)
Benten: Well, actually, we've been getting along just fine.
Asuka: Yes! Big sister Benten has been very kind! She's even invited me to
her summer camp!
Lum: Really!?! Isn't that nice? I hope you have a great time! (undertone, to
Benten) Go easy on her, Benten. This isn't Ran you're dealing with.
Benten: (Undertone) Don't worry, Asuka'll have no problems. Once we get her
out of her shell, she'll do great. She'll probably wind up being the best
one there!
Lum: <Okay!> (Back to normal tone) You're absolutely right, Benten. Asuka
will do just fine!  
(Asuka blushes at the praise.) 
Lum: Asuka, I'm so glad you and Benten could become friends! 
Asuka: Once big sister Benten and I stopped fighting, we discovered that we
had similar interests. We became friends overnight!
Lum: Marvelous! (To Benten) Speaking of friends, why hasn't Ran visited me yet?
Benten: (laughs) Why hasn't she?!? She's still thawing out!
Lum: Huh? Why is that?
Benten: (laughs again) Oyuki didn't accept Ran's explanation. She arrived
just after Ryooko's "help" exploded. You should have seen her face! (laughs)
It's the closest Oyuki's come to losing her cool since that time-
Lum: -that you and Ran hurt the sherbet?
Benten: (angry) Shut up!! I was the victim that time!!
Lum: (hurriedly) Yes, yes, if you say so! (To Asuka) Asuka, have you met
Oyuki yet?
Asuka: Yes! Princess Oyuki is a very nice girl, with proper manners.
Honorable Mother said there were not many girls like Princess Oyuki around
anymore. It would be nice to invite her over to visit sometime. And it would
be nice to invite all of you as well! It would be wonderful! (To Benten) You
will have to meet my dear elder brother!  (sparkling eyes) He is the most
wonderful man in the world!
Benten: (behind hand, to Lum) Is she trying to set me up with her brother?
Lum: (Behind hand) Nope, the farthest thing from it. I'll tell you later.
(Ataru pops up behind Asuka and Benten. He hugs them around the, uh, chest.)
Ataru: Gee Asuka-babe, thanks for inviting me! I'd love to come over and be
with all these beautiful women!!!
(Asuka and Benten have identical expressions of shock.)
Asuka & Benten: ...... ......
(Lum's expression indicates a different kind of shock.)
Lum: (fangs) Dar-r-r-ling!!! Gr-r-r-r!!!

							Scene 21 

(Cut to aerial view of the Moroboshi house and pan away. The following
offscreen voices can be heard.)
Asuka & Benten: A-A-AI-I-IG-GH-H!!! 
(Crash!!)
Asuka & Benten: GO AWAY!! PERVERT!!  
(The house shakes with the impact of their blows!)
Lum: DARLING YOU I-DI-OT!!! 
(Mega-zap! The house is illuminated by blue light!)
Ataru: (major pain) A-A-A-AI-I-IE-E-E-E!!! 
Ten: (overjoyed) Lum, you're well again!!

						(Roll the credits.)


        (Comments and Criticism welcome at FUYS Editor's E-Mail address:
jrispoli@ix.netcom.com, and also to the writer's E-Mail address:
ebersole@fuse.net.   Please address any C&C to the writer with the header:
Attn: Nate, since it's a shared account.  Thanks for reading this far.)

        Mata ne,

        The Old Takaholic,

        Joe Rispoli