Warning:this is a parody and should not be taken seriously.This is
just a possibility of why the Ranma tv show ended ^_^

.                         "WORST EPISODE"
                          ===============
 
                             Written by:
                            Emily Siazon


                        Characters owned by:
                          Rumiko Takahashi
                           Naoko Takeuchi
                             Yukie Nasu

=====================================================================

     It is a sunny Sunday afternoon in Nerima,Tokyo.The Tendo home
is unusually quiet.The locals took this in as a bad omen and are now
watching the house warily from a distance.

     Meanwhile,Akane is in her room packing which Ranma noticed on
his way downstairs.
 
RANMA:Why are you packing,Akane?

AKANE:Well,a prince hasn't kidnapped me in a month,so I figured one
is gonna come along any minute.

RANMA:Do you want me to help you fight them off so you don't have to
be dragged off to some strange place?

AKANE:Don't bother.You're not gonna win.

RANMA:[getting mad] What do you mean? I'd have you know that I'm the
best martial artist around!

AKANE:Have you ever won any of your first confrontations with the
princes that kidnaps me?
 
RANMA:Um...no.But there's always a first time for everything.

AKANE:Trust me,it won't happen.If it did,this whole story would be
pointless.

RANMA:You have a point.Say,you wanna play poker while we wait?

AKANE:Why not.The next kidnapper isn't due to arrive for another
fifteen minutes.

     There is a brilliant flash of light and dramatic smoke filled
the room.A figure in the middle of all this could be heard coughing.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE:[muttering] Damn special effects!
 
     When all the smoke cleared,a brown haired boy that looked a
couple of years older than them appeared.He was wearing a black
t-shirt with the word thug written across it in bold,white letters.
 
AKANE:Wow,you're early.I wasn't expecting you here yet.

THUG:Well,the villain of the week business has been slow lately.

AKANE:Oh,okay.Let me just get my walkman and I'll be right with you.

     After Akane gets her walkman,the thug grabs her from behind and
accidentally grabs her chest.

AKANE:Hey watch it! [she starts beating the thug to a pulp while he
pathetically says he's sorry.]

     [15 minutes later]

THUG:[lying on the ground looking like he just got run over by a BIG
truck] I think it's time we leave.

AKANE:Oh,all right.[she walks toward the dimentional portal the thug
had opened near the start of the show.Right before she goes through
it,she turns around crying,her voice shaking in fright] Ranma! save
me!

RANMA:Eh? Why would I do that? You're going on you're own free will. 
     Akane stops crying and shoves a piece of paper under his nose.

AKANE:I have to say it everytime I get kidnapped.It's in my contract.

RANMA:Oh.[Ranma quickly looks at his script then looks up with a very
angry look on his face] Akane is my fiancee! You lay a lip on her and
I'll kill you!

AKANE:[smacks him hard on the head with her script] Idiot! That was
last week's script!

RANMA:Oh.Sorry.Well I'll see you later,okay.Remember,tonights your
night to do the dishes.

AKANE:You jerk! I'm getting kidnapped and all you think about is 
doing the dishes!?

RANMA:[shrugs] Well,somebody's got to do it.

AKANE:You have a point.

THUG:Um...I don't mean to be rude,but we gotta get going.This
dimentional portal isn't a cheap special effect you know.

AKANE:Well,see you later,Ranma.

     Ryoga enters the room just as Akane disappears in the bright
light.

RYOGA:Ranma! How dare you let Akane get kidnapped like that! For that
you will pay! SHISHI HOKOUDAN!! [he wait expectantly for the glowing
ball of chi to appear in his hand which failed to appear] Wha?
 
RANMA:I guess we already used up all our special effects of the week
with that dimentional portal.

RYOGA:Awww.You mean I don't get to destroy anything? This sucks!

RANMA:Stop complaining,P-chan.We have to get Akane back.

RYOGA:Right! We must stay focused for Akane's sake. [his eyes starts
to glaze over as he thinks about Akane]

                            Dream Sequence
                           ================

AKANE:[running towards Ryoga] Thank you for saving me. [hugs Ryoga
tightly] I love you so much!

RYOGA:[looks into Akane's eyes] I love you too.
 
     Ryoga's heart starts to pound loudly as Akane brought her face
closer to his.He nervously moved closer and puckered up.His eyes
admiring her shiny brown hair...brown!?

                       End Of Dream Sequence
                      =======================

RYOGA:[snapping out of it and find himself face to face with Nabiki]
Wha?

NABIKI:Well,that was certainly an amusing little story.

RYOGA:[turns beet red] Uh,exactly how much of it did you hear?

NABIKI:Enough to blackmail you for the rest of your life.
 
RANMA:Guys,as interesting as this is,we don't have a lot of time left
to search for Akane.She already wasted the first half of the show
beating one of the kidnappers to a pulp.

     While Ranma is busy talking,Nabiki picked up a piece of paper 
she found on the middle of the floor.

NABIKI:Um...guys?

RANMA:Not know,Nabiki.Were busy thinking of where the kidnappers 
might be keeping Akane.

NABIKI:But guys...

RYOGA:[ignoring Nabiki] It's probably on some far away land.

RANMA:Or an entirely different dimention which means were gonna have
to steal the nanban mirror from Happosai.

NABIKI:[very angry for being ignored] GUYS!
 
RANMA & RYOGA:What?

NABIKI:You don't have to go to all that trouble to save Akane.
According to the resume the thug accidentally left behind,the place
they're hiding her is only a couple of blocks from here.

                    [a couple of minutes later]

     The three end up right in front of the Nekohanten.

RANMA:[skeptically] Are you sure about this,Nabiki?

RYOGA:Why the heck would they hide her at the local ramen shop?

NABIKI:Just check it out.[points at a huge sign that reads: VILLAIN
OF THE WEEK HIDEOUT]

     Ranma and Ryoga's face-faults.

     Ranma and Ryoga quickly run in,only to find the thug packing
his things.They quickly got into defensives stances and waited for
the thug to make is move.
 
THUG:Sorry guys,but I'm not fighting you.I just got a call from my
agent saying they need someone to play Nikaido on that Maison Ikkoku
movie.

RANMA:Er...okay.Where's the main villain?

THUG:Next door on your right.

RANMA:Thanks.

THUG:No problem.[waves as he leaves the set]

     Ranma and Ryoga quickly makes their way into the room and finds
Akane tied up to a chair and someone who suspiciously looks a lot 
like Kuno with a very fake looking mustache.

RANMA:[muttering under his breath] Jeez.I know the show is
underbudget,but this is ridiculous.
 
     They quickly got ready for the fight.Their postures indicating
they are all business.

GIRLS VOICE:Hold it negasleaze! I am Sailor Moon! In the name of the
moon...I will punish you!

     Ranma and the kidnapper look at the group of girls in confusion
while Ryoga faints at the sight of their barely covered legs.

RANMA:Um...Isn't your set across the studio?

SAILOR MARS:He's right.This is the last time I let you lead the way,
Usagi!

SAILOR MOON:Waaaaaaaaah! Rei-chan's being mean again!

SAILOR JUPITER:[looking at the angry Akane muttering something about
missing her tennis lessons with that babe,Shun Mitaka] Really? You
think he's cute too? He reminds me so much of my old boyfriend with 
that deep blue eyes of his.

AKANE:I have a picture of him with me. You wanna see them?

3 SAILOR SCOUTS:[hearts in their eyes] Can we!?

RANMA:Ahem! If you girls don't mind, were in a middle of a fight
scene here! [walks towards the group of girls to snatch the photo out 
of their hands,but trips on a bucket of water on the way.]

KIDNAPPER:Pig-tailed goddess! How I've longed for you!

RANMA-CHAN: Ack!

DIRECTOR:Kuno,you're the villain today,remember? you're not suppose 
to hit on the person whose trying to kill you.

KIDNAPPER:[ripping off bad disguise and drawing out his sword] Are 
you insinuating that my acting has been less than satisfactory?

DIRECTOR:[bigsweat] Heh. Of course not.

KUNO:How dare you lie to a member of the great house of Kuno! Am I
not the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!? 

    Ranma-chan watches as Kuno starts to chase the director around 
the set and as the girls drool over this month's centerfold of 
Playgirl.

AKANE:Man,that guy Mitsuru Ikeda sure is a babe.

SAILOR JUPITER:I think his roommate Shinobu Tezuka is cuter.He 
reminds me so much of my old boyfriend,Freddie.

     Ranma-chan walks over to the group of girls and looks at the 
picture they're drooling over.

RANMA-CHAN:I just saved you from marrying Kuno.

AKANE:[stands up and gives him a hug] Thank you.

RANMA-CHAN:Um...Akane,there's something I've been meaning to tell you. 
I l-lo...

SAILORMOON:[interrupting] Hey! Where's Amy and Mina?

SAILORMARS:I knew we forgot something! [makes weird hand gestures at
a nearby kerosene stove.] We're too late! The youma has already killed
them!

SAILORMOON:But they can't do that! We're still on our first season! 
[looks Akane over] You know,you look an awful lot like Amy. I know!
You can be the new Sailor Mercury!

AKANE:How much do you get paid per show?

     Sailor Jupiter whispers the amount in her ear.

AKANE:Wow! That's twice as much as I make hear!

RANMA-CHAN:But what about our love?

AKANE:You could always replace Sailor Venus.Then we could stay 
together!

RANMA-CHAN:Yeah.Besides,I always thought I look better as a blond 
anyways.

AKANE:Let's go then!

     The three sailor scouts and it's two future members leave the set
together and head off into the sunset. 
    
                              THE END
========================================================================
AUTHORS NOTES: I warned you didn't I? This is the kind of things you end
up writing while on a MAJOR sugar high.

Send all comments and criticism to <emily9@bellatlantic.net>