Here's a Kevin Smith-inspired creation:

**The following contains foul language and immature situations.  Veiwer descression it
advised.**


HAYESMAN

     A small coffee shop in Parsippany, New Jersey is empty except for a few
waitresses and a man in a trench coat sitting in a booth in the back.
     He is about 19 or 20, with dark hair faded on the sides.  The back seems to be
growing into a ponytail.  An odd bald spot is visible thought the fade on his left temple. 
He has dull pastel colored eyes and monstrous eyebrows.  He has sharp features and a
nose that make him bare a resembance to John Belushi.  He has black fingerless leather
gloves.  His coat is closed.
     He sips hot tea in anticipation of something.

     Two figures walk into the cafe.  One is blone with long hair tied in the back and
covered with a bandanna.  The other is pale with a dark, thin beard and long hair,
covered also with a bandanna.  They are both wearing black trenchcoats.  Thay are both
smoking.
     "Hey, nice coat.", said the first man.
     "Hey Hayes!".  Said the blonde.
     "Cute.  Like I haven't heard that before."
     The dark one remains silent.
     "Well, well, well.  If it isn't the Hayesman.  Going on a road trip."
     "Yeah, I will as soon as you give me back my car."
     "Hey, It's in back lot."
     "You didn't leave any drugs in it did you?  If I get arrested for possession, I will
personally return with a metal cutter and cut off fingers."
     "Hey, nasty.  I kept it clean.  The brakes are fixed."
     "Good."  He takes out an envelope of money.
     "Alright", the blonde says as he take out the money.  "So, you never told me
where you wear going?  Going into the city to score some pussy?"
     "Thanks for you're boud of confidence, but I think we all know I'm going to die
a virgin.  I'm going to an Anime con in Boston."
     "What the hell is 'Anime'?"
     "Japanimation, my man."
     "You're freakin goin' to a convention for cartoons?"
     "Not CARTOONS, ANIMATION.  The term "cartoon" dictates a satirically
exagerated drawing.  Hence, a drawing made for humerous purposes.  Such animations
are the norm in America.  In Japan, however, the entertainment industry is constructed
differently.  If one wants to make an action movie, and wants alot of aliens, you would
have to spend millions on special affects; or you could just draw them.  Japan has
animatied horror movies, action movies, romance movies, pornos, all animated.  It lends
to an amazing variety of genres."
     "Oh, I've seen some of that stuff.  Giant robots, girls turning into guys, stupid
sailor outfits.  That stuff's messed up, man.  That kind of stuff is just a bunch uf fucked
up shit.  That stuff doesn't happen in real life."
     "You'd be surprised."  Hayesman gets up and leaves some money on the counter. 
"Ahem.".
     The blonde thoughs him a set of keys.



RO', CLYDE and JANE

     Hayesman throughs a suitcase into the trunk of a '95 Lincoln towncar.  He turns
around to look for someone and finds that person.
     A young woman about 19 tops stands before him.
     "Ah, Ro'.  How are you."
     "Ready and rarin' to go."  She indicates a suitcase sitting at her side.  She is
wearing loose, slacked jeans and a "Ranma 1/2" t-shirt.  Her hair is short with a tail
braided in the back.  Her hair has rubicant highlights.
     "Say, is you fiancee' coming or not?"
     "Oh, Alice?  Yeah, she should be hear any minute."  
     "Well thanks for the advance notice.  Good thing I reserved enough room at the
hotel."
     "That's my little Eagle Scout!  Always prepared."
     "What about her suitcase?"
     "Oh, we're sharing this one."
     "Oh, good."
     "What's with you?"
     "Oh," said Hayeman, " I just miss the old days when I used to go on these trips
with my old friends, Chris and Ladd"
     "Oh, and I'm not good enough for you?"
     "Oh, you're fine, it's just that your openly intimate relations with your fiancee'
remind me of my own social inadiquacies."
     "I get it and you don't?"
     "In so many words."  Hayesmans turns and places Ro's suitcase in the trunk.
     "BAM!  BABY!", a thud is heard as another suitcase flys into the trunk without
warning.  Hayesman and Ro' turn to see a strange site.  Another young man stands
before them.  His is an inch taller than Ro' and an inch shorter than Hayesman at 5'7". 
He has tar black hair down to his shoulders, neatly combed.  His skin is pale but his
face is oulined with black eyeliner and blacklipstick.  He wears two earing in the bottom
of each ear.  One a silver cresant moon, the other a silver saturn.  His fingers are long
and covered with numerous peuter rings of skull and eyes and such.  His fingernails are
painted metalic.    He wears a girls school uniform with his legs neatly shaved.  Over
which is a black trenchcoat, open and hanging loose.  He wears heavey black army
boots.
     "Bam, baby!  This convention is going to be the BOMB!", says the weirdo as he
flail his arms around, pointing at the sky.
     "Um, Clyde, you're off the heroin, right?", says the Hayesman.
     "Yeah, man, I'm still clean, I'm just on a natural high, man!  There is going to be
a ton of Sailor Moon  at this convention, man!  I'm gonna stock up on Sailor Venus
imported action figures, man!"
     "Are you off the crack?", said Ro'.
     "And who is this lovely lady?", commented Clyde.
     "Clyde; Ro'.  Ro'; Clyde", introduced Hayesman.
     Clyde bagan admiring Ro's t-shirt, or rather the large breasts underneath.  "So,
you're a Ranma-fan, huh?"
     "Lay, off, Clyde, she's engaged.", commented Hayesman as he closed the trunk.
     "My fiancee' should be here any minute, AH!, here she is!"
     A young woman of 19 and the height of Clyde darts over to the parking lot.  She
has shorts and a plain green shirt on.  She has short black hair and carried a tan purse. 
She runs straight to Ro' and wrapps herself around her neck and draws her head in for
a deep, passionate kiss.  This lasts for several seconds.
     Hayesman turns to unlock the car while Clyde just stares blankly.  After a push
of the worn button on his key-chain, the car is unlocked.  Hayesman turns to Clyde who
is still gaping.  Hayesman smacks him upside the head.
     "It's impolite to stare!", Hayesman whispered.
     "How often am I going to be able to see this live without paying for it?", he
whispered back.
     "Clyde, you're a man in a dress and this shocks you?"
     "This is a uniform.  The dresses are in the suitcase.  And DESPITE this, I have
never seen that in the middle of Montclair State!"
     "Sorry everybody, that was rude of me." said the girl, her lips freed.  "I'm Jane,
Ro's fiancee'.  Hey, Hayes!"
     "Thanks.  Like I haven't heard that before."
     "Pleased to meet you." said Clyde, "but how is it that you're getting married?"
     "Please, Clyde, it's legal in some states.  What do you think this is?  The
nineties?"  Hayesman replied.
     "And this is Clyde." said Ro'.
     "OK, pile in everyone, we want to make the convention before it closes today."
said Hayesman.
     "Shotgun!!", cried Clyde as he jumped over the felt covered top of the car to the
passenger seat.
     "OK, I guess we'll take the back." said Ro'.
     The four pile in and the car and the ignition is stared.  The car pulls out and
onto the open road.

To be continued...