NARRABUNDAH 1/2
by Urac Sigma with Suzy Styles
Volume II, chapter ten
Tatakaite! Oretachi no Dojo desune!
CAST OF CHARACTERS
HAPPOUSAI GRAHAM
SIGMATOME LEN
SIGMATOME NICOLE
TENDO BOBBI
TOBOKI CALLUM
HINOMIYA RUTHIE
HODJSUKE TIMOTHY
TENDO FIONA
SANZENIN CHRIS
KUNOU JARRAH
SHIRATORI NOOMY
TENDO NIKI
KUONJI COLLEEN
SIGMATOME RATBAT
GOSUNKUGI SAM
TENDO SUZY
KURENAI CHARLOTTE
TOBOKI EUAN
SAYURI KIM
Well, that's roughly the age order, give or take
TITLE SEQUENCE.
[Opening theme: Little Date (alternate version).
Finishes with a voice-over from Suzy and an
appropriate art-card.]
SUZY [VO]: Tatakaite! Oretachi no Dojo desune!
1. OUTSIDE TENDO DOJO.
[This is the business end of the dojo, the one
that lets onto the street, rather than the house
(no, I haven't got a coherent layout for this
place, but I'm figuring that the odd student
that Bobbi teaches probably doesn't have to
traipse through Fiona's nice clean living room
to get to class). The 'official' dojo sign is
down, and the place is most definitely closed,
as per a sign across the doors.]
[CAPTION: Neribanda, Japan - Monday 18 September
1995 ]
2. DOJO PROPER.
[Ratbat is training against Suzy as the latter
wears those big padded gloves.]
RATBAT: I still dinna think it's a good idea...
SUZY: What isn't?
RATBAT: Putting me up to go against Graham and Jarrah's
challenge.
SUZY: It makes sense. You have fought Kunou to a
standstill before.
RATBAT: Aye - a standstill - on both sides, remember?
And that was before he did this recent cram
session with Hentai-sama.
SUZY: All the more reason we should train you now -
then you might actually have a chance!
[Ratbat stops punching and holds a hand up.]
RATBAT: Aye - but also back then, I could fight as an
otoko.
SUZY: So? Why would your girl form be any weaker? From
what I understand, when you got cursed, stuff
like strength and that carried on straight from
whatever you had already. It should be the same,
ne?
RATBAT: It's no strength, it's body awareness.
NIKI [OOV]: God, you sound like a teen-information program.
[They both turn to see that Niki has, in fact,
entered the room.]
RATBAT: Where did you come from?
NIKI: Our mother's lack of body-awareness, about
eighteen years ago.
SUZY: Quiet. Komori-chan, go on.
RATBAT: My actual strength might be the same, but I
spent most of my life training in a different
body shape! Now, I'm a couple of centimetres
shorter, my hands are smaller, the legs are
different...chuck it into a close-combat
situation, it all starts to add up.
SUZY: It shouldn't make that much difference, should
it?
RATBAT: Han...how come you're no doing it? You're always
saying that you're better than me at anything
ever!
SUZY: Are you kidding? I'm as rusty as the Pope's
underpants! I hardly ever train!
RATBAT: Ee? What about all the hammers?
SUZY: They only really work if the other person
doesn't see it coming. And I can't see Kunou
being that distracted in a fight.
[They descend into squabbling. On Niki.]
NIKI: I think we might have to have another council of
war... These two get distracted kind of
easily...
SUZY [Off]: ...it wouldn't even fit...!
[Niki sighs. Dissolve.]
3. OUTSIDE TENDO DOJO.
[The same shot.]
COLLEEN [OOV]: See what I mean?
[We see that Colleen, Dr Callum and Euan are
here.]
COLLEEN: They locked themselves up in there yesterday! No-
one's answering the phone. I tried at the door,
and Fiona told me that they were all busy.
EUAN: Well, something must be going on.
[Callum takes Euan aside for a moment.]
CALLUM [Whispers]:Euan - when was...B-chan last in there?
EUAN [Whispers]: Yesterday.
CALLUM [Whispers]:Do you know what's happening?
EUAN [Whispers]: No. Suzy-san left me in her bedroom. I went
to wait under the bed for her to come back, but
I lost direction while I was under there. I
remember going to this little downstairs
bar...where everybody knows your name...I think
it was called the Winchester, or something.
[Callum rolls his eyes. They go back to
Colleen.]
COLLEEN: Well, I want to know what it is!
[Charlotte, wearing a ladies' Armani suit, leaps
out from behind a lamp-post.]
CHARLOTTE: It's 'yes', Kuonji-chan! That's my answer!
[Colleen squeals and spatulas him into the air,
where he does the oyakusoku pozu. Dr Callum
watches him as he goes up.]
CALLUM: ...and to think that any other girl your age
would be glad to have a guy who'd dote on them
like that...
EUAN: A guy who wears your size clothes, too.
COLLEEN: Yeah? Well, any other girl my age wouldn't have
a childhood engagement to some other guy who
won't pay attention to them the way they want,
not to mention changes sex all the time!
CALLUM: Suzy is.
[The other two glare at him. Suddenly, Charlotte
is at Colleen's side again.]
CHARLOTTE: Ah, but would you be glad to have a guy who was
good enough at sneaking about to get into the
dojo and find out what was going on?
CALLUM: Hey, even I'd go for one of them right now!
[He ends up with Charlotte's fist in his face.]
CHARLOTTE: I don't go out with guys. Just what kind of
person do you think I am? [To Colleen] Anyway,
what do you say?
COLLEEN: Iie!
CALLUM: Come on! Don't you want to know what's going on
in there?
[Colleen fumes. Charlotte looks at her with
bright, yet evil eyes.]
COLLEEN: Aarrrggghh!! All right! What will I have to do
for you?
CHARLOTTE: Go on two dates with me!
COLLEEN: Get fucked!
CHARLOTTE: After a second date? You're a bit excessive!
COLLEEN: No! I mean, no way! Forget it!
CALLUM & EUAN: Hey!
COLLEEN: But he's-- grrrr...one date!
CHARLOTTE: Two dates, and you get to pick where we go for
one of them.
COLLEEN: Two dates, I get to choose for one of them, and
you have to pay for everything on the second.
[Charlotte considers.]
CHARLOTTE: Done!
[Colleen sighs. Charlotte gives five to a
bewildered Euan. On Dr Callum.]
CALLUM: How are you going to...
[He looks down to face Charlotte. He isn't
there.]
CALLUM: Wow! He really is good!
[Another shot shows that Charlotte has merely
moved behind Dr Callum with no trickery
whatsoever. He shakes his head and moves on.]
4. DOJO PROPER.
[Gathered in the room we have: Tendo Suzy,
Sigmatome Ratbat [onna], Tendo Bobbi, Sigmatome
Len (a panda), Sigmatome Nicole and Hinomiya
Ruthie (kodomo). Addressing the group is Tendo
Niki. Fiona is sweeping down the large training
area.]
NIKI: Now. At first we thought that we'd just be able
to chuck Komoriko at Kunou on Wednesday, and
that'd be that. Unfortunately, it looks as
though Komoriko might not be the best challenger
after all, on account of her being shithouse and
everything.
RATBAT: Oi! That's no quite 'ow I put it!
NIKI: Tough break, wet-dream-of-Playtex.
RATBAT: Grrr.
NIKI: Anyway - I called you all back in here. Since
you all either are or have been students of
Rejinra martial arts at some point. Kaachan, as
the sensei in this dojo, your presence here is
obvious. The same for you two, Suzy-chan, Batti-
chan. Sigmatome-san - you're technically allowed
to step forward and fight, as you've learnt self-
defence under Rejinra.
NICOLE: Ah-ha...but not just self-defence, Niki-chan...
[She draws her katana and takes a neat swipe.]
NICOLE: I also know some katana techniques, like those
used in seppuku.
[Both Ratbat and Len get the big sweat-drops.
Nicole notices the one on Len.]
NICOLE: You look worried, Panda-chan.
[Len's eyes go very wide, and he whips out a
sign.]
[Sign: It must be hot in here!]
[Instantly, Fiona is beside him, handing him a
cold drink. He accepts it.]
LEN: Mrwwffrww grrmrrr.
FIONA: Do itashimashite!
[Nicole's face shows that she is choosing to try
to forget it. Len holds up a sign that says
'Kanpai!', and drains his glass.]
NIKI: Ruthie-sensei...you didn't train here, but your
Happo go-en satsu thing is Rejinra as well, and
since this is the last place left that teaches
it...
[Ruthie is impatiently looking at her watch.]
RUTHIE: Is this gonna take loooong? I've gotta go on a
deto tonight...!
[On Ratbat and Suzy.]
SUZY [Low]: Ruthie-sensei has a date? Who the hell with?
[Ratbat looks equally confused, and shrugs.
Ruthie suddenly pokes her head in between them.]
RUTHIE: Oi! Aren't you two supposed to be in class?!
[They pale.]
RATBAT & SUZY: Uhhhh....
RUTHIE: This is...truancy! You iwwesponsible gakusei!!
[She gets ready and pulls out her coin. Bobbi,
however, neatly plucks it from her fingers.]
BOBBI: Ja, aren't you supposed to be in class?
[Ruthie snatches her coin back and sulks.]
RUTHIE: I took care of that already...
5. SUZY & RATBAT'S CLASSROOM.
[A whole group of students (among them Gosunkugi
Sam) sit rigidly in their desks, not daring to
move. On the blackboard is written 'IF YOU EVEN
THINK OF LEAVING, RUTHIE-SENSEI WILL GET YOU!'.]
6. KITCHEN.
[A cupboard door eases open, and Charlotte
sticks his head out.]
CHARLOTTE [VO]: No-one in here...
[He pauses, listening.]
CHARLOTTE [VO]: Hmmm...right the first time. It sounds like
it's coming from round the back...
[He climbs out, and edges through the kitchen.]
7. DOJO PROPER.
[The discussions are fully going.]
NICOLE: What if Suzy-chan was to go up against him?
Fiona tells me that Kunou has...some feelings
for her. Might that distract him enough to be an
advantage?
BOBBI: Come, Nicole, that's hardly honourable.
NICOLE: No. You're right. Gomennasai.
BOBBI: Sumimasen - I didn't mean that there was
anything wrong with it, I was just saying it,
for the record. There you go, Suzy! You can
fight Kunou, we can keep our dojo, and the next
day you can marry Ratbat!
[Looks pleased with herself. Len holds up a
sign: 'The perfect plan!' Suzy hits him in the
face with it.]
SUZY: That won't work. The rules he laid down said
that in order for someone to go out with me,
they had to beat me in personal combat. That'll
just make him fight all the harder.
RATBAT: This is true. Sensei? Do you think your chi
thing could do it?
RUTHIE: Maayyyyyybe. But what if it can't?
SUZY: Right. God only knows what those two have been
working on. If he taught her how to do it, he
might be able to teach Jarrah how to resist it.
Then what does she do?
RUTHIE: Ne, Tendo-san! 'She' is the cat's mother!
[Niki looks shocked.]
NIKI: Nani? What have you heard? I tell you, that
kitten just looked like me...!
FIONA: Niki-chan...
NIKI: Gomen.
[Len has a new sign: 'What about me? I could
take him.']
NICOLE [Laughing]:Oh, Panda-chan...that's so cute. But, I
don't think so.
[The phrase 'Panda-chan!' appears above Len's
head as he remembers that this is so. He tries
to make up for it. He holds up a sign saying
'But...I'm a kung-fu panda!' He leaps to his
feet and starts doing showy fighting poses,
while an instrumental version of Kung-fu
Fighting plays. Nicole just thinks that this is
the cutest thing ever, and claps her hands.]
NIKI: Ano - this might all be well and good, but it
doesn't come any closer to answering the
question: Who the fuck is going to fight against
Kunou Jarrah?
[Fiona coughs politely.]
FIONA: Aaa...Sumimasen.
BOBBI: What is it, Fiona-chan?
FIONA: It's just an idea I had, but...if you want to
find out who's the best fighter, why don't you
actually...fight?
[Niki looks from Fiona to the others. Then she
realises that they're actually thinking about
it. We see their expressions for a moment. Then
we see hers: alarm. She quickly runs as we hear
the start of a fight breaking out. Shortly, we
have a shot of the floor: One of the floorboards
lifts up, and Charlotte is underneath. He pokes
his head up a few centimetres, then...THWACK!!]
8. OUTSIDE TENDO DOJO.
[Charlotte is sent flying out through a hole in
the wall. He lands at the feet of the others,
still waiting. Dr Callum bends down to him and
checks him over. Colleen looks faintly
satisfied.]
COLLEEN: So what's the story?
CHARLOTTE: From what I heard, there's been some kind of
challenge, and they need to pick their best
student to fight and win the dojo back. That,
and that mother woman can do some hellish kicks.
[Groan] They're right - love does hurt.
[He slumps his head back onto the ground.]
9. BEHIND COMMON ROOM.
[This part of Narrabundah College is right next
to the public street. Here we find Kunou Jarrah,
Hodjsuke Tim, and Happousai Graham. Graham is
showing Kunou some notes he has written on a
sheet of paper.]
KUNOU: Sensei, nandesuka?
GRAHAM: I'm revising an old technique of mine, m'boy.
It'll be the first move taught at the Happo
Dojo, once it's under my management!
TIM: What's the move?
KUNOU: Tim, thou betrayest thy nature as a lower-
classed peasant by merely thinking of asking
that question.
GRAHAM: That's right, Timbo.
[Graham goes back to studying the paper.]
KUNOU: But...uh, it couldst not hurt to educate my
dutiful servant, sensei. Just, han, in case it
ever comes up in his services.
GRAHAM: Very well...you see that woman over there?
[He points across the street. There, we can see
Shiratori Noomy, looking pleased with her pet
telephone, while Sanzenin Chris skates wearily
behind her.]
TIM & KUNOU: Hai.
GRAHAM: Well, watch this! Happo shitagi kusuneru koto!
[We cut to Noomy and Chris. Noomy suddenly comes
to a stop. Her hair ruffles slightly.]
NOOMY: Chris-kun...
CHRIS: Hai?
NOOMY: Did you feel the wind pick up just now?
CHRIS: Iie.
[Cut back to Graham, who is giggling as he holds
up his prize: Noomy's bra and pants. Behind him,
across the road, we see the figure of Noomy
suddenly pick up speed.]
CHRIS [Off]: Whoa! Where are you going?
NOOMY [Off]: Home! Now Noomy really feels a draft!
[Graham giggles again, and looks out of shot to
the others. He shrugs, shakes his head, and
wanders off to enjoy Noomy's underthings. We
then see that Kunou has set Tim up against the
wall wearing a bra and pants over his ninja
jumpsuit. He has a pained expression on his
face.]
TIM: Kunou-sama...are you sure it wouldn't be a
better idea just to ask the sensei to teach you
this move?
KUNOU: Nonsense, Timothy? You think after all my time
with that man that I no longer have the ability
to learn of my own?! Aaa...happi shitagi
naninaninani!
[He leaps across at Tim, and in the next shot,
he's struggling with the ladieswear, trying to
prise it off his servant. It's quite intense.
After a few moments, into all this walks Sayuri
Kim.]
SAYURI: [Coughs] Hm.
[Kunou's head whips around - he sees her.]
SAYURI: Aaa...konnichiwa, sempai.
[She backs away slowly, then disappears into the
building. Kunou's face turns bright red, and he
passes out.]
10. DOJO PROPER.
[Nicole's face, somewhat uncharacteristically
exhausted-looking, fills the shot.]
NICOLE: And there it finishes! The challenger to defend
the ownership of the Tendo Dojo has been chosen!
[We cut to the other fighters, now lying in an
exhausted heap.]
SUZY [Weak]: Ra.
[She falls asleep. Dissolve.]
11. OUTSIDE TENDO DOJO.
[The doors are now open. It's another day -
Wednesday, in fact. Yes - the day of the
challenge. Scary.]
12. DOJO PROPER.
[Ratbat-chan, Suzy, Bobbi and Ruthie-sensei are
all sitting around, wearing gis. Fiona is also
present, as are Len and Niki.]
SUZY [to Ratbat]: I don't get it. Why's your mother keeping
everyone in suspense like this? She said she
knew who the challenger would be, then she
didn't tell us who!
RATBAT: I'm tellin' ye, I still dunno, y'know'at I mean?
RUTHIE: Maybe she thinks that we're all just good enough
anyway.
SUZY: Huh. Nerf.
BOBBI: It could be that she wants the element of
surprise on our side. But I really think that
that's supposed to mean that your opponent is
surprised, not you. That's right, isn't it?
FIONA: I do believe you're right, Okaasan.
BOBBI: Yatta! Your mother told you.
FIONA: Sumimasen, Okaasan. You're only right about
this, not about cracks in the pavement.
BOBBI: I'm telling you! I know someone who stepped on
one and she did end up in Canada!
FIONA: [Almost imperceptible, dainty little sigh] Hai,
Okaasan.
LEN: Growr.
[He holds up a sign saying 'If I was allowed to
fight as a human, I'd win easily.']
NIKI: Ee, but if your wife saw you fighting as a
human, she'd make you commit seppuku easily.
LEN: Hrrag.
[He pulls out a set of false-nose-and-moustache
glasses from behind his back and puts them on.
New sign: 'Hello. I'm Sonoda Kenichi. How do you
do?' Niki groans and buries her face in her
hands.]
[Over towards the edge, we see the Toboki
brothers, Colleen and Charlotte, who it seems
have been allowed in to watch their friends get
the crap kicked out of them. Charlotte is
cuddling right up to Colleen's arm. Col doesn't
seem to appreciate it.]
EUAN: So, eeto...how was your date last night?
COLLEEN: We went to the eiga.
CHARLOTTE: Hai!
CALLUM: Soone. Any good?
COLLEEN: Ja...I'm not really sure if I'd call The Crying
Game a 'date' movie. Why did you pick that one?
[Charlotte detaches himself for long enough to
stare blankly at Colleen.]
CHARLOTTE: Why, Colleen-chan - isn't it obvious? [Beat] I
love films about the IRA!
[Colleen, Dr Callum and Euan collapse.]
[Through the doors, Happousai Graham and Kunou
Jarrah enter, accompanied by a fanfare.]
GRAHAM: Now! Present occupants of--
[He can't be heard very well over the fanfare.]
GRAHAM: Hodjsuke!
[The music continues.]
KUNOU: Timothy! Come in here!
[Tim enters, and we see that it is he producing
the fanfare music, using a kids' plastic 'play'
musical instrument.]
[Side note: While it is usually assumed that the Great
Composers, who wrote all those centuries ago, were penning
work to be played by piano, viola, orchestra, or other
similarly grand methods, it is a little-known fact that they
all actually intended their music to be performed on cheap
plastic noise-makers with brightly-coloured buttons that you
can pick up at Daimaru for 350 yen a pop.]
KUNOU: Timothy - cease thy playing.
[He does so.]
TIM: Hai, Kunou-sama.
[And with that, Kunou walks to the centre, and
stands ready. A spotlight is on him. Even his
rubber sword is firm, and stands strong.]
GRAHAM: And now, present - and soon to be former -
occupants of the Tendo Dojo - have you chosen
your best student to compete against my
champion, Kunou Jarrah?
[There is a small pause as everyone wonders what
to do, immediately relieved as Nicole,
brandishing her katana, enters through the other
door.]
NICOLE: We have.
[Graham is actually mildly surprised, but he
tries not to let it show.]
GRAHAM: You'll put yourself forward against Kunou-san?
NICOLE: No. I'm just here to make an announcement. To
tell you whom we have chosen that Kunou Jarrah
shall not be able to fight to a standstill.
KUNOU [Subtle mockery]:And who might this be?
[Nicole flings her katana forward and points.]
NICOLE: YOU.
[There is silence. Everyone stares at Nicole,
but it's true. She is pointing right at Kunou.]
KUNOU: Myself?!
NICOLE: Are you not a student of Rejinra? As the last
teaching place of the art - as laid down by the
challenge - we may call upon any student of
Rejinra martial arts. I challenge you now, Kunou
Jarrah - fight yourself to a standstill!
[He can't, of course (well, maybe he could if he
was really clever, but let's face it, he's not).
His face screws up and he cries out.]
KUNOU: AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!! A pox on your school of
martial arts!
[He angrily casts down his sword towards the
floor. It bounces up, rebounds of the ceiling
and a few walls, before bouncing outside. We
hear the splash as it lands in the pond.]
KUNOU: If it is by this trickery that your school
endures, then I will have no part of it!
Timothy! Come!
[Kunou storms out. Tim executes a quick bow,
accepts a blown kiss from Fiona, and follows.]
GRAHAM: SSSHHIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!! [To Nicole] That's
cheating!
[Bobbi, similarly confident now, steps up.]
BOBBI: It would be your own fault, for never declaring
where you taught Kunou to be an official
training ground.
GRAHAM: Urusai! Man, do I need Guinness - about the
volume of the Pacific Ocean should do it!
[Cries comically and smashes his head repeatedly
against the floor. The others stop paying
attention. There is a short round of applause,
at which Nicole bows.]
NICOLE: Thank you, thank you.
NIKI: That was great, Sigmatome-san!
RATBAT: Aye!!
SUZY: How did you think of that one?
NICOLE [Humble]: Ano, I just, well...[un-humble] Oh, what
the heck! I'm really smart!
[Laughs, and the hugs and congratulations
continue.]
GRAHAM: Right! I've had enough!
[They suddenly remember he's there.]
GRAHAM: I might not have won your dojo, but I'm still on
the lookout for an heir to carry on my style of
Rejinra! There will be another day!!
[He is about to expand on that, then he becomes
aware of his head where he was smashing it
against the floor.]
GRAHAM: Aaa...aaa...but I think that, on that other
day...I might have a bit of a headache. But just
one more thing before I go!
SUZY: Oh? And what's that, then?
GRAHAM: This!
[He quickly mutters something under his breath,
then we cut to the others. There is the
suggestion of a slight gust of wind, then (as is
most evident on Fiona, Nicole and Niki - none of
whom are wearing a gi) the females' breasts all
suddenly droop somewhat. Fiona notices first,
and looks at herself.]
FIONA: Oh, my.
[Graham holds up his prize - several bits of
underwear - and laughs his head off. He looks
towards the chest of Bobbi (who was standing
separate from the others), and is about to make
a leap, but:]
GRAHAM: Oh, what'll be the point? Sayonara, my pretty
things...!
[Laughing still, he bounds out of the dojo and
away. Everyone watches him go.]
CHARLOTTE: Strange man.
COLLEEN: You can talk.
CALLUM: Oh, he can. It's because this part back here,
called the larynx, and--
[Colleen thumps him with The Big One.]
COLLEEN: I hate doctors.
[They go up to the dojo-dwellers. While Callum,
Charlotte and Euan exchange pleasantries and
congratulations with the others, we have Colleen
and Ratbat.]
COLLEEN [Whispers]: That was a clever move on your
mother's part, Ratchan.
RATBAT [Whispers]:Now ye see where I got it from...
[Colleen looks to where Len is toying with
Graham's discarded Guinness can.]
COLLEEN: Ja, somehow I already knew where you hadn't...
[They laugh. Ratbat notices Charlotte in the
mix.]
RATBAT: 'ere, you and Charlotte...?
COLLEEN: Not me and. Just Charlotte.
RATBAT: Och. Right.
[Colleen stares despite herself for a moment.
Then, after a second of almost daring herself
to, she quickly leans forward and kisses Ratbat
on the cheek.]
COLLEEN [Whisper]:Later, Ratchan...
RATBAT: Aye...
[The Tobokis, and the half-unwilling couple also
depart, leaving the family to it and waving
their goodbyes.]
NICOLE: Hmmm. Now, I hate to say it, minasan, but - I
have to leave you too, now.
[Len, Bobbi and Ratbat manage to fake looking
sad reasonably well.]
BOBBI: Ohhhh. Do you?
NICOLE: Hai, hai. I'm quite behind on a lot of things I
have to do back in Hakodate. I've already stayed
an extra day because of the challenge. I really
should go. Goodbye, everyone. I'm sure I'll come
back again some day.
SUZY: Oh, you needn't rush yourself.
[Bites tongue again: It never comes out the way
she means, does it? Fortunately, Nicole doesn't
notice.]
FIONA: Let's go, Sigmatome-san - I'll help you with
your things.
NICOLE: Oh, thank you.
[They leave the room, Ratbat and Niki still
waving at Nicole as she goes. The second she's
out of sight, Len has a kettle in his hand (I
guess Fiona was doing the tea thing again, big
surprise), and douses himself, changing back
into a human.]
LEN: Ohhhhhh - thank God she's gone, eh? Now I can go
back to doing nice, normal human things!
NIKI: Eto, Len...what is it you actually do as a human
that you can't do when you're a panda?
[Len opens his mouth to reply, but says nothing.
His mouth still open, he simply turns and exits
the room.]
RATBAT: Och! And I can stop having to do that 'proper'
diction all the time!
SUZY: [Laughs] When were you planning on starting?
[Ratbat sticks a finger under her eye and sticks
her tongue out at Suzy.]
RATBAT: Pbbbbbb!
SUZY: Nerf.
[Suzy twitches self-consciously.]
SUZY: You know what? I think restoring some bits of
garmentry might be an idea, particularly after
Happousai's little...re-appropriation. No
underwear and a gi - it's kinda uncomfortable.
RATBAT: Aye...I know'at ye mean...
[All three start off, Ratbat in front. Niki also
twitches, feeling this manner of apparel.]
NIKI: Oh, I don't know - I think I...kinda like it.
SUZY: [Heavy sigh] Niki - you're a worry.
NIKI: I know - [play-lustful smile] and you wouldn't
have me any other way...
[They both giggle at each other while Ratbat
just slaps her forehead into her palm.]
END CREDITS.
[With the alternative version of Equal Romance.]
Tendo Suzy
SUZY STYLES
Sigmatome Ratbat
URAC SIGMA
Tendo Niki
NIKI O'BRIEN
Kurenai Charlotte
CHARLOTTE SAROSSY
Kuonji Colleen
COLLEEN HICK
Happousai Graham
GRAHAM HENSTOCK
Tendo Bobbi
ROBYN SCHOLES
Hodjsuke Timothy
TIM HODGE
Sigmatome Nicole
NICOLE WYLIE
Dr Toboki Callum
CALLUM BOWEN
Toboki Euan
EUAN BOWEN
Ruthie-sensei
RUTH CRABB
Sanzenin Chris
CHRIS SIMPSON
Shiratori Noomy
NOOMY SCHWINGHAMER
written by
URAC SIGMA
with
SUZY STYLES
creation and development
URAC SIGMA
SUZY STYLES
EUAN BOWEN
LEILA FETTER
with apologies to
TAKAHASHI RUMIKO
(amongst others)
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/1778/bundahalf.html
13. FRONT ROOM, KUNOU MANOR.
[Kunou and Tim enter. Kunou is still more than a
little annoyed.]
KUNOU: Why did I ever listen to that man, Timothy? The
last week and a half has merely been a week and
a half stolen from my pursuit of the lovely
Tendo Suzy and the fair ponīteru no onna, and
from my quest to free them both from that used
sanitary napkin Sigmatome Ratbat.
[As Tim moves through to another room, Kunou
sinks onto a sofa.]
KUNOU: Will no good news befall me in this age?
[Tim returns to the room.]
TIM: Aaaaa...possibly not, Kunou-sama.
KUNOU: What meanst thou?
TIM: I just checked the answering machine, sir. It
seems that despite her original plans, your
sister will be returning to Tokyo later this
year.
[Kunou's face darkens, and he leans forward and
buries it in his hands. After a few moments, he
lifts his head, and looks towards his weapon on
another chair.]
KUNOU: I wonder if one can commit harakiri with a
rubber sword?
[Freeze. And there ends Volume II of Narrabundah
1/2. Huge thanks to everyone who's been watching
and reading. The saga will continue later this
year, though - in Narrabundah 1/2 - Movie I! Until
then, viewers, mata ne, and thanks again!]
(c) Recycadelic Cacti MCMXCVII
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+
| 'Yes, my Queen!' |
| 'I wish he wouldn't call me that...' |
| - Inferno and Megatron, BEAST WARS: TRANSFORMERS - OTHER VOICES |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Urac 'Ratbat' Sigma, the Green Flame u962986@student.canberra.edu.au |
| Come on down to the Ratcave - http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/1778 |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+