C&C welcome!  gaffney@iconn.net is the addy.

***

Hammer to Fall

by Sean Gaffney

All characters (C) 1997, Rumiko Takahashi, except one cameo (C) 1997 Masaki
Kajishima.


     "BAKA!!!"
     *wham*
     "Ouch!  Akane, you tomboy..."
     Ranma was muttering from his present position, buried halfway through the
dining room wall.  Nabiki barely even looked up as she sat there eating and
reading her manga.  Kasumi, coming in with tea, said, "Oh, my.  Did Akane hit
you again?"
     Ranma crawled out from the wall.  "Yeah, she hit me again.  
Kawaikunee..."
     Nabiki smirked.  "It's interesting that one of the best martial artists
in the country is constantly beaten by a girl with a mallet.  Are you trying 
to
get hit, Ranma?"
     Ranma's eyes blazed.  "It ain't that!  You've never been on the receiving 
end of that mallet, Nabiki!  She gets it out of nowhere!  I mean, how can a 
girl who can't even hit me when she tries with normal martial arts suddenly 
whack me with a mallet?"
     Ranma frowned.  "Come to think of it, where _does_ she get that mallet?
Can you two do that?"
     Nabiki laughed.  "If I could produce mallets from thin air, Ranma, I 
would
not be sitting in this rundown dojo.  I have no idea how she does it.  Even 
before you got here, she malleted Kuno or Gosunkugi..."
     Kasumi was sitting at the table with a serious look on her face.  "I 
believe
I know how she does it.  She told me this, but I...I didn't believe her.  It
seemed so strange at the time, and she was only seven years old.  Of course, 
now
that we've dealt with such strangeness every day, it doesn't come as that much 
of a shock."  She looked at Ranma cheerfully.  "My goodness, Ranma, you've
certainly brought a great deal of excitement to our household!"
     "Yeah, thanks, Kasumi."  Ranma was not especially thrilled with his life
at the moment.  "So what did Akane tell you had happened?"
     Kasumi's face grew serious again, enough to make Nabiki stop eating.  "It
was about a year after our mother died.  Akane...was not dealing with it very
well.  None of us took Mother's death well.  Father was crying constantly, 
much
more than he does now.  I was rarely out of the kitchen, cooking and cleaning
in an effort to deal with the pain.  Nabiki..."  Kasumi looked at her sister,
whose face was turned to the ground, "was also not doing well.  But Akane was
probably the most dangerous.  She would take to running away, convinced that
Mother was out there somewhere, and that all she had to do was find her."
     Kasumi paused again, the emotions temporarily overwhelming her.  Ranma, 
showing more sense than usual, was silent.  After a pause, she went on.
     "She was dropped off that evening by a Shinto priestess.  She'd gone
almost all the way across town.  The strange thing was, she wasn't angry or 
upset, as she had been.  She was excited and happy.  I went to her room to ask 
her why, and she told me what had happened..."

***

     Nine years ago.

     Akane was running down the street, looking constantly around her in an
effort to find her mother.  She had to be there, she'd just run off.  The 
others
had given up, but Akane would find her.  She just had to keep looking.
     She was interrupted from her search by a flying, charred body impacting
with a nearby brick wall.  Startled, she stared as it slid to the ground.  
Then
suddenly, it seemed to get better, shaking off the dust and bruises as if they
were water.  Now Akane could see it was a rather plain-looking man, about 
high-
school age.  He had a lecherous look on his face that scared Akane, but as he
turned to look at her it went away.
     "Hey, are you okay?" he asked her.
     She looked defiant.  How dare anyone suggest that!  She was fine.  "I'm
fine!!"  she shouted at the man.
     "OK, no need to get mad at me.  Shouldn't you be at school?  Or are you
with your parents?"
     Akane could feel the grief welling up inside her again.  "P-parents?"
     The man looked a little wary.  "Yeah, y'know, your mom and dad..."
     Suddenly Akane couldn't hold it in any more.  She fell to the ground
with a wail, sobbing piteously.  "Oh, Mommy, I miss you so much!  When are you
coming home?  MOMMY!!!"

***

     Ataru Moroboshi found himself, for a change, at a loss for words.  The 
young girl had collaped on the sidewalk, and was crying out for her mother.
The way she kept asking when she was coming home made Ataru's stomach sink.
The girl's mother must be dead.  Damn, what do I do now?
     Ataru generally did not get along well with children.  Too much exposure
to Ten had ensured that.  Yet despite that his heart went out to this little
girl, and he found himself wrapping his arms around her.  "Hey, it's okay, 
don't worry.  Are you lost?"
     The girl momentarily stopped her sobbing.  "I'm not lost!"  She then 
looked
around, bewildered.  "I just...don't know where I am."
     "Well, you're in Tomobiki.  Do you know where that is?"
     Akane's eyes widened.  "I think Daddy mentioned it once.  I wonder how I 
got 
here?"
    Ataru winced.  She sounded as if she was a long way from home.  This was 
going 
to be difficult.  "Tell you what, why don't I help you get home?  I know a 
woman 
who can find out where you live.  She's a priestess, and very good at things 
like 
that!"
     The girl's eyes widened.  "A priestess?  Wooooww..."
     Ataru grinned, and grasped her hand.  "C'mon, she's just a block or two
down the road.  By the way, what's your name?"
     "Tendou Akane."
     "Well, Akane-chan, I'm Moroboshi Ataru, and..."
     Ataru looked down the road, and noticed Lum and Mendou headed towards 
him.
They did not look very happy.  *Great, just what I needed.*  Out loud he said,
"Don't worry, we'll get you home."
     Akane merely started crying again.  "I don't _wanna_ go home!  Not 
without Mommy!"  She started to sob, and hugged herself against his legs.
     At this point Lum flew down, her anger replaced by curiosity.  "Darling,
who is this?"
     "She says her name's Akane Tendou.  I think she's gotten really lost - "
     At this point Ataru leaped back into the air, barely avoiding Mendou's
katana as it thrust through the air.  Mendou tried again, and this time Ataru
stopped it using his hands.  "What do you want, Mendou?"
     Mendou was livid, trying to cut through Ataru's palms with his sword.
"As if it is not enough that you betray Lum-san with women of your own age,
now you have resorted to pedophilia!  You cur!"
     Ataru's eyes narrowed.  Suddenly Mendou found his head buried under a
mallet.  "I may be a lech, but I do _NOT_ go after little kids!"  Lum then
zapped Mendou for good measure.  "How dare you suggest that about my darling!"
     Ataru turned to Akane, and found her looking wide-eyed at both him and
Lum.  "How did you _do_ that?!"
     Ataru was puzzled.  "Do what?"
     "She made lightning right out of her hands!  And you made a mallet appear
from thin air!"
     Ataru laughed.  "Oh, Lum's an alien!  She can do lots of those things!
Lum, say hi."
     Lum looked down at the girl, still gaping at her.  "Hello there!  My 
name's Lum!"
     Akane was filled with questions.  "Are those horns on your head?  And can
you really throw lightning?"
     Lum smiled.  "Datcha!  I can fly too, see?"  Lum twirled in the air, 
demonstrating.
     Akane's eyes glittered.  "Woooooow!  And are you an alien too?" she 
asked,
turning to Ataru.
     Ataru laughed.  "Nope.  I've lived here in Tomobiki all my life!"
     Now Akane was puzzled.  "Then how did you make the mallet appear?"
     "Well, I just -- " Ataru began to answer, and then stopped as he realized
that he didn't know where he got them.  They were just always in his hand when
he needed them.  He turned to Lum.  "Lum, where do you get your mallets?"
     Lum frowned.  "Well, Onis have always been able to get mallets and things
like that from other dimensions.  That's where Ran gets her bazookas too.  But
I don't know why you can do it, Darling.  In fact, almost everyone we know can
do it, datcha?"
     Mendou was getting up.  "Moroboshi!  How dare you attack a scion of the
Mendou house!  Prepare to -- "
     He was brought up short by Akane, who ran up and kicked him in the shins.
"I don't like you!"
     Ataru grinned as Mendou hopped around.  "That's Shutarou Mendou.  He's
not very likeable, is he?"
     Suddenly, everyone was startled by a crowd of people surrounding Mendou.
     "There's a girl that doesn't like Mendou?!?"
     "That's impossible!"
     "Mendou, what did you do to her?"
     Mendou was backing away from the crowd, waving his hands.  "I-I didn't
do anything to her!"
     Ataru decided now would be a good time to leave.  "C'mon, Lum.  We're 
taking Akane-chan to Sakura-chan to see if she can help her get home."
     As they left, Mendou continued to be peppered with comments.
     "He must have done something really horrible to that girl!"
     "But *every* girl loves Mendou?  What's different about this one?"
     "My god, it's full of stars!"
     A Dappya appeared.  "It's the Apocalypse!"

***

     Sakura was startled.  Ataru was coming to her shrine, and wasn't running
towards her with a glazed look in his eyes.  Furthermore, there was a small
girl with him, who looked as if she'd been crying.
     Ataru looked at Sakura seriously.  "I owe you a grope later, but we have
something more important right now.  This girl is lost."
     Akane piped up again.  "I told you, I'm not lost!  I'm in Tomobiki!"
     Ataru crouched down by her.  "I told you that.  But where do you live?
Do you live in Tomobiki?  Can you find your way back home from here?"
     Akane burst out in tears again.  "I don't wanna go home!  I have to find
Mommy!"
     "Oh, no..." Ataru said.  " He turned to Sakura.  "She's been like this
since I found her.  I think her mother may be dead...what are you doing?"
     Sakura had gathered Lum and Akane behind her and was waving at Ataru 
with her wards.  "You haven't groped me once, and you're concerned about
others?  You're not the real Ataru!"  She began to chant.
     Ataru shouted at her.  "Would you knock it off!"
     Akane, whose mood changed as often as the average seven-year-old's, was
staring at Ataru in amazement.  "If you're mad at her, why don't you use your
mallet?"
     Ataru had the grace to look affronted.  "I don't hit women," he said
crossly.
     Lum remembered what they had been talking about earlier.  "Sakura-san,
Akane-chan was asking about where Darling gets his mallets.  Do you know why
Earth people are able to use them?"
     Sakura blinked, startled by the change of topic.  "Hm?  The mallets?
Probably just another effect of you living here, Lum."
     Now both Lum and Ataru looked puzzled.  "What do you mean, Sakura-chan?"
Ataru asked.
     Sakura smiled.  "Akane-chan," she said, turning to the girl, "do you
know of anyone who can lift trees out of the ground and throw them at people?
Or who can recover from injuries in less than the blink of an eye?"
     Akane's eyes widened.  "No."
     Sakura turned back to the others.  "We've become so used to these things
that we've forgotten that they aren't normal.  This sort of thing has happened
only since Lum has been here.  That's where everyone gets their mallets, where
Shinobu gets her strength.  Ataru, you don't seriously believe that you could 
normally catch Mendou's katana in your hands?"
     Ataru frowned.  "But why does it happen?  Is it some scientific thing?"
     Suddenly, to everyone's surprise, a chalkboard was rolled in, followed 
by a young girl with wild red hair.  She started drawing on the board.  "It's
very simple.  Lum's presence here, even more than the other aliens, is a
textbook case of the chaos theory.  The neighborhood of Tomobiki is doing 
its best to cope with this by extending some of Lum's strange abilities to
everyone in the area.  In this way, the extraordinary things that happen 
here are merely seen as just another day in the life of Tomobiki.  Whenever
Lum leaves Tomobiki for an extended period, the powers go away."
     She finished drawing with a flourish, and rolled the board away again.
"Sorry for the interruption, but it looked like you needed a genius to help
explain things to you!"  Just as quickly, she was gone.
     The others stared after her.  Ataru broke the silence.  "Aaaaa-nyway,
getting back to the point, Sakura-chan, this girl needs to get home.  Is
there any way you can track down where she lives?"
     Sakura frowned.  "There is a way to trace the family lines back to
her house.  We'll need my crystal ball."
     Ataru moaned.  "Not again..."
     They moved into the inner sanctum, where a crystal ball sat.  Ataru could 
have sworn it glared at him.
     "I don't see why you have a problem with my crystal ball..."
     "The last time we used that thing, it led to the Second Tag Race!  It
only predicts gloom and doom!" Ataru sniped.
     Lum tried to stop them.  "Akane-chan, Sakura-san is going to help you
find your family!  Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
     Akane brightened.  "I have Kasumi-neechan and Nabiki-neechan!"
     Sakura nodded.  "Excellent.  The presence of siblings will probably
help offset the absence of her mother -- "
     Sakura clamped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late.  Akane
was crying again.  "Mommy!  Why did you go away, Mommy!  I don't wanna go 
home unless Mommy's with me!"
     Ataru sat down next to Akane.  Something needed to be done here, the girl
was getting hysterical.  "But Akane-chan, what about the rest of your family?
You still have your Daddy, right?  And you two sisters?  Don't you think
they're worried about you?"
     Akane frowned, her tears cutting off again.  "I guess..."
     Ataru picked her up and turned her towards him.  "I bet they love you
very much, don't they?"
     Akane seemed determined to be miserable.  "Of course they love me!  
They're my family!  Families have to love each other!"
     Ataru's smile faded.  "That's not always true, Akane-chan.  My mother
is constantly wishing that I'd never been born.  My father spends so much
time behind his newspaper that I don't know what he thinks.  I'd like to
think they love me but...after so many years of them treating me like an
unwanted child, how can I?"
     Lum and Sakura were off to the side, stunned.  "Darling..." Lum
murmured.
     "I had no idea he felt this way," Sakura said.  "Maybe that's why he's
acting so strange."
     Lum glared at Sakura.  "Datcha!  He's acting wonderfully!  So stop 
saying that it's weird!"
     Akane, meanwhile, was looking up at Ataru.  "I'm sorry..." she said.
     Ataru smiled again.  "It's alright.  But I bet your family tells you
that they love you all the time, right?"
     Akane smiled.  "Yeah, they do."
     "Then don't you think they'd be worried about you?"
     "But I have to find Mommy!  I have to!  I know that she's not gone!
I can find her -- "
     Sakura looked sadly at the child.  She remembered her own father's 
death, and her refusal to accept it.  After several weeks, her mother and 
uncle were finally able to help her, but it was still one of the worst times
of her entire life.  She needed to say something.
     "Akane-chan, you must accept that your mother is not going to be with
you anymore.  It's a fact of life.  People are born, and then they die.  But
your mother isn't gone."
     Akane looked up.  "W-what?"
     "She lives on inside you, Akane-chan.  And inside your sisters and your
father.  Her love is within all of you.  I'm sure right now, she's somewhere
else, thinking of all of you.  You wouldn't want to disappoint her, would
you?"
     Akane briefly looked defiant.  "I'd never disappoint Mommy!"
     Sakura reached out to stroke Akane's hair.  "Then let her see you grow
up to become a wonderful woman.  Let her see all that you can accomplish.
Because she will know.  That much I can guarantee you."
     Akane was still weeping, but the tears seemed to be different.  "I'll
make you proud of me, Mommy," she whispered to the air.
     Sakura looked up to find Ataru and Lum grinning at her.  "What's the
matter with you?"
     Ataru chuckled.  "What have you done with the real Sakura?"
     "Why you -- "
     Suddenly, the most hideous face Akane had ever seen popped up out of
nowhere.  "It's fate!" said the creature, in a voice like the death of all
things.
     "Cherry, you bastard!"  Ataru, Sakura, and Lum went to pound Cherry
into the ground.  But before they could do that, Akane sprung into action.
     "KYAAAA!!"  Akane reached into a dimension that hadn't been accessible
to her until now, grabbed a mallet without thinking, and slammed Cherry into
the stratosphere.  "GO AWAY!!!"
     Ataru, Lum, and Sakura stared at the mallet in Akane's hand.  "This is
going to make things more complicated," Sakura mused.
     "Will she be able to do that outside Tomobiki?" asked Ataru.
     "Oh, yes.  Lum would have to be off Earth for more than a few months 
before the powers stop.  I'll have to explain to her parents somehow."
     Akane was staring at the broken piece of mallet in her hand.  "Woooow!"
she cried.  "This is great!"
     Sakura put her head in her hands.  "Let's get this child back to her
family.  Akane-chan, do you have anything with you we could use to help 
track down where you might live?"
     Akane frowned.  "Just this.  Daddy gave it to me."
     Sakura, Ataru and Lum looked at the small card.
     AKANE TENDOU, TENDOU DOJO, NERIMA.
     Akane looked at them in puzzlement.  "Why did you all smash your faces
against the ground?"

***

     Sakura was taking Akane back to her home.  "Sakura-san, why did Ataru-san
try to attack that woman after they left?"
     Sakura smirked.  "Just his natural tendencies reasserting themselves.
I don't know, Akane, maybe you have a power like Lum's that makes men want to
protect you."
     She looked up at the sign for the dojo.  "Is this where you live,
Akane-chan?"
     "Uh-huh!"  Akane was looking almost manic as she tried once again to
access hammerspace.  "Why can't I grab the mallet now, Sakura-san?"
     Sakura smiled.  "You need to be angry or frightened before you can do
that, Akane-chan."
     Suddenly, what appeared to be a deranged maniac appeared at the gates 
of the dojo.  "Akane!  Oh, Akane, I was so worried!  Why do you do this to 
your father!  Where did I fail you!  I'm sorry, I'll pay more attention to
you -- "
     Akane interrupted her father.  "It's all right, Daddy.  I got lost,
but these nice people helped me find my way back home."
     The man was still sobbing, and appeared to be unable to carry on the
conversation.  Luckily, two girls came out of the dojo.  *They must be Akane's
sisters," Sakura thought.
     The elder came up to her.  "Oh, thank you, thank you so much!  Where
was she?"
     This was the subject Sakura didn't want to get into.  "Yes...there's
something I need to tell you."  She looked at the father, who had now passed
out.  She turned back to the elder sister.  "Your sister has been through a
lot today.  She may...act strangely after this.  But don't worry, there is
no danger involved."
     "Where was she?" asked the younger sister.  
     The elder gasped in surprise, as if the other one didn't talk.  "Nabiki,
you spoke!"
     The younger ignored her.  "Where was Akane?"
     Sakura turned and prepared to leave, ready as always for the dramatic
exit.  "Tomobiki."
     Both of their eyes widened, and they looked at Akane with a wary
expression.  Sakura sighed.  *This town is never going to get rid of its
reputation,* she thought.

***

     The present.

     "So it's this weird dimension?  Because of the alien girl?" Ranma asked.
     Kasumi smiled.  "I suppose you think it's silly."
     Ranma shrugged.  "No sillier than any of the stuff that happens around
here...in fact, I've got an idea."
     "Ranma!"  Akane had entered the house, mallet at the ready.  "Are you
ready to eat my cookies, or do I have to pound you again?"
     Ranma grinned.  "Perfect timing."  He turned to her and said, "Of course
I'm not going to eat your cookies!  Your cooking is poisonous!"
     "Why you..." Akane swung down her mallet onto Ranma's head -- 
     And Ranma caught the handle deftly between his hands.  "Ha!  It worked!"
He had paid careful attention to the descriptions of the Tomobiki people, 
and wondered whether he could try to emulate them.  "Now I don't have to 
worry about those mallets anymore, you kawaikunee tomboy!"
     Akane, who had been trying to drive the mallet onto his head, got even
madder.  "Ranma..."
     Suddenly the air around the two of them seemed to sizzle.
     "NO..."
     Flashes of electricity coursed out through Akane's hands.
     "BAAAAAKKAAAAAA!!"
     Ranma screamed as voltage coursed through his body.  He dropped to the
ground, looking very charred.
     "Oh, my!" said Kasumi.
     "Well, this is an interesting development..." said Nabiki.
     Akane stared at her hands wide-eyed.  "How on Earth did I do that?"

THE END


Notes:  Well, y'see, I've been reading Urusei Yatsura manga a lot.  Especially
towards the end of the series, mallets were used constantly by almost 
everyone.
Sakura, Nagisa, Ryouko, and especially Ataru.  Yet in Ranma 1/2, with a few
exceptions, it's mostly just Akane.  That led me to wondering...and led to 
this.

This was supposed to to be 100% humourous.  Best laid plans...there's a bit of
angst in here, and even, God help me, character development.  Sorry.

Thanks again to Zen, Richard, Sebastian, and Nick for prereading this.  Thanks
also to Henry Cobb, who inspired this, even if he doesn't know it.

--Sean Gaffney
--yes, I *know* Tomobiki is in Nerima.  Akane is seven!  
--Her place recognition is poor...